


For Cayde Part 2

by AislinAvalbane312



Series: Cayde and Aislin - The For Cayde Series [2]
Category: Destiny (Video Games)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-25
Updated: 2019-10-28
Packaged: 2019-11-05 08:48:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 28
Words: 144,667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17915657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AislinAvalbane312/pseuds/AislinAvalbane312
Summary: The continuation of For Cayde Part 1 found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16639337/chapters/39010283If you haven't read Part 1, you may want to do that before reading this.That said, on with Part 2!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay guys, as I said, here's more, just moved to a Part 2 so Part 1 didn't get too long. This one's gonna start out with a steamy bang, so I hope you enjoy and, as usual, more to come soon! :)

The day Sundance’s urn arrived, Cayde had actually asked if he could take care of her alone. It was understandable. Everything that had happened since the prison, Cayde hadn’t had a lot of time alone and he really needed it. I’d kissed him and brought Sundance’s scarf over from the living room, laying it out on the kitchen island, and Ghost gently deposited every piece of her shell onto it. He took a few moments to look at the pieces, as if silently saying his own goodbye. I was standing next to Cayde, slowly caressing his back when I felt him step away and walk over to Ghost, gently placing his hand under him. He carefully guided Ghost over to his shoulder and gave him a little hug, whispering a thank you for taking such good care of Sundance. It was the first time I’d seen Ghost actually seem like he was crying, even though he wasn’t capable of doing so. His shell shuddered a bit and Cayde softly pet him, uttering little shushes to try and soothe him. I’d felt myself choking up watching them. Ghost may not have started out as Cayde’s, but it was very clear they’d bonded more fully over the few days since Io. There was a trust and familiarity there that now went beyond just knowing Cayde as a Vanguard and friend. They were part of each other now, and it showed.

When they parted, Ghost floated back over to me and settled on my shoulder. I pet him and tilted my head against him in an affectionate hug of my own. He blinked up at me, his shell lifting some, signaling he was okay. I softly smiled then went over to Cayde and gave him a good, long hug, then kissed him softly as I caressed his cheeks. “You need _anything_ you call me, okay? I won’t be far and I’m not leaving the Tower today,” I promised. He softly smiled and nodded and I touched my forehead to his for a few moments, the two of us saying more to each other in silence than words could ever say before Ghost and I let him be for the afternoon.

The whole day I’d sensed an array of emotion from Cayde, all while trying to focus on work in the Hanger, tending to Colonel, helping Holliday with some supply shipments into the City, and writing up reports on the mission and Uldren. It had been agonizing not rushing to him. Every part of me wanted to but I didn’t dare. I knew if he’d needed me, he’d have called. This was something he’d both needed and wanted to do alone and I respected that but, still, it was hard. 

It was early evening when Ghost and I returned to the apartment. I found Cayde sound asleep on the couch under a blanket, the television on, playing an old black and white film - a Western by the looks of it - and Sundance’s urn was placed up on the shelf beside her basket where she used to sleep. I noticed there were a few crumpled balls of tissues on the floor by the couch, and one squeezed in Cayde’s hand as he slept. I’d leaned over and caressed his cheek, knowing mentally and emotionally he was exhausted but alright. I pulled the blanket up over his shoulder, wanting to let him sleep, picking the tissues up off the floor. When I turned, I noticed Ghost was hovering by the archway, silently watching and I quietly asked him if he wanted to come over and lay down with Cayde. Ghost looked between us then bobbed and floated over, cuddling into Cayde’s bent arm against his chest, just under the blanket, closing his eye. I smiled at the two of them, then let them be.

 

In the few days since, Cayde had been much more his old self and I could sense he really was feeling better, getting back into his more usual routines. At the request of both Zavala and Ikora, though, Cayde took a few more days off, only doing some light Vanguard duty - meeting with Hunters, and actually filling out reports from our mission. As for me, they suggested I take a break, too, but there were a couple runs into the City I wanted to see to since I’d already starting working with a few shops and families over the last few months, helping them rebuild and get back on their feet. Making sure they were finally settled in their new places and doing well was important to me.

When I got back to the apartment, after meeting with the families and shop owners, I walked in to a wave of lovely smells, soft music playing, and hearing Cayde in the kitchen. “I’m home!” I called.

“I know!” Cayde called back, chuckling a little. 

I smirked. One of the things we were getting used to was not just sensing each others feelings but that we could actually feel when the other was nearby. It made sneaking up on each other impossible, which didn’t stop Cayde from trying every chance he got, hiding in various places around the Tower, knowing I’d be coming through at some point. He kept trying to jump out and scare me, which was so incredibly adorable and sometimes awkward, because he’d get so excited and try to sneak up really quick - thinking he could do it before I knew he was there - and trip or fall over something he hadn’t noticed was there. I’d help him up and tease him about how I thought being a Hunter meant he was supposed to be nimble and quick on his feet, so what was he doing tripping over stuff? Then he’d come back at me saying we were bonded now, so he’d inherited some top-heavy Titan clumsiness. One time he’d said something along those lines and Zavala happened to be nearby. He gave Cayde a look, arching an eyebrow at him and started muttering how, if Cayde wasn’t on an unofficial required vacation, he’d take him to the sparring gym and give him a real _lesson on being a Titan_. Cayde’s eyes had widened and he’d slipped behind me, like I’d protect him, pretending to be afraid.

Playful moments like those were just the best and made things feel normal again. It was so good to have him back and I’d ended up having another moment of quiet reflection. This Tower really would be so empty and lacking in joy and liveliness if Cayde had been gone.

As I took off my boots and armor, Cayde came out and helped me, giving me a kiss. “Okay, so I’ve got four things to tell you - no, wait, three things? Four … No, three. Four was dinner, but you know I made dinner. So, three things. I wrote them down.”

“You sound really excited, calm down,” I chuckled, petting his chest, returning his kiss. 

“I am excited,” he nodded then hurried into the kitchen. I followed, seeing him looking at his list sitting on the island. “Oh, right, that’s what I forgot,” he muttered. “Right, okay, first thing, though …” he said, looking over at me. “Guess what?”

“What?” I smiled.

“We got the apartment!” Cayde beamed, bouncing a little, arms going out.

My eyebrows rose. “Really?!” I felt a sudden surge of excitement rush through me, not sure if it was my own or from him. Didn’t really matter, though!

Cayde nodded and I went over and gave him a big hug. “That’s wonderful!” I said. It was really quite thrilling to know we were actually getting a new place together. And it was a lovely place, too, with big windows and lots of light, and had a second story balcony master bedroom and bath! The designers were really drawing from the places down in the City, wanting to give Guardians - especially those like Cayde and I who’d chosen to live with a roommate or partner - places that were more homey and open as opposed to small, military styled housing that was a bit cramped and closed in. But Cayde had been right about the place being nice and it just felt like home the moment we walked in to take a tour. 

“Apparently a certain coupla Vanguards heard we’d been looking at it and put in the good word for us,” Cayde said as he hugged me back. “All we need to do is wait for the maintenance crew to go over it one more time, make sure everything is good, and we can start moving in.”

“That was faster than I expected,” I nodded, leaning back in his arms, but I wasn’t going to complain. I’d been plotting layout ideas ever since Cayde had put in a bid for the place. Which was weird for me, since, aside form the time I designed my bedroom, I usually didn’t get excited about that kind of stuff very much. I was now, though! “As for those ‘certain Vanguards’, did you honestly think they wouldn’t find out?” I asked, smiling, arching an eyebrow.

“Pfffft. Of course I figured they’d find out,” Cayde nodded. “They always do.” 

I swear, if he had teeth and could grin, it’d be from ear to ear right now!

I gave him another kiss. “So what were the other things you wanted to tell me?” 

“Well, go sit first and I’ll put out dinner.”

“Smells like curry,” I said, giving his bottom a light pet before going over to the table, sitting.

He chuckled. “Curried chicken and rice, actually. Er … Don’t tell Colonel,” he added, as he put some rice on a plate and topped it with the curried chicken.

I snorted and shook my head. “Don’t worry, I won’t.” I propped my chin up on the heel of my hand, unable to stop smiling as I watched him.

When he brought the plates over, he arched an eyebrow at me as he set my plate in front of me. “What?” He asked, setting his own plate down across from me. 

I shook my head. “I like you like this. Not talking about the cooking part. That’s nice, too. But … The rest. I can tell you’re feeling better and it shows.”

He smiled at me and leaned over, softly kissing the top of my head. “I am feeling better,” he murmured. “Much better.” He smiled at me. "Now, what do you want to drink?” 

“There’s some mango juice in the fridge that might go really well with dinner,” I suggested.

“Mmm. That does sound good,” he nodded and went to get some for us. I kept watching him, unable to help myself. He glanced over at me as he set out two glasses and filled them with the juice, winking at me before he added a little rum to each. I grinned, then started giggling when he began to sway his hips to the music, even humming, as he came back over, carrying the glasses. 

“If you’re not careful Mr. Hunter, dinner’s not the only thing I’ll have my lips on,” I purred at him, enjoying the show.

Cayde shimmied over and handed me my glass, leaning over, kissing me again. “Dessert, baby,” he whispered, making me grin and making the room a bit warm. 

“If I didn’t know better, I’d say you were plotting something while I was out,” I said, sipping the drink and sighing at the cool sweetness of the mango, trailed by the warmth of the rum.

“Not really ‘plotting’,” Cayde said as he sat across from me. “But you’ve done more for me in the past few days than-than I ever thought anyone ever would for a guy like me in my whole life. Lives. Doesn’t really matter. You’ve done a lot and … I mean … It ain’t no secret between us I have a … a bit of a hard time knowin’ if people like me. Hell, most of the time I just assume they don’t. Easier that way,” he said, looking down at his drink, swirling it a little. “But, over the past year, you not only proved that ya like me, but showed me just how much you love me … and what ya’d do for me.” He looked up at me. “I wanna do some nice things for you.”

I opened my mouth to say something, but he held his hand up, stopping me. “I know. I don’t have to. I want to, Ais. Cause I love you, too. And it makes me feel good.”

I smiled. There was that hint again. Like before, back in the Hanger when we came back from Enceladus. Making him feel good wasn’t just about doing things for him. It was about letting him do things for me, too. He was excited and happy again. He wanted to do things he never thought he’d get to - never imagined he’d ever have, save in his mind. “Well … who am I to stop a handsome man when he says he wants to spoil me?” I asked in reply.

I knew I’d said the right thing when I felt a giddy joy swell in his chest and I smiled even brighter. I raised my glass to him and he gently clinked it with his own before we sat back to eat.

 

After dinner, I took care of the dishes, since Cayde had cooked. While I rinsed the plates off, the music changed to a softer instrumental guitar and I noticed the lights around me dim a little. Cayde came up behind me and slipped his arms around me, kissing my shoulder. I leaned back into him, closing my eyes as I smiled. He reached for the dish towel and dried my hands for me, then silently guided me over to the open part of the room and gently took me in his arms, taking my hand in his, holding me against him, his other arm around my waist. He started to slowly sway us to the soft beat of the music and I looked into his beautiful blue eyes, draping my free arm over his shoulder, tenderly caressing the back of his head, my fingers tracing along the ridges of metal and the sealed port where his human consciousness had been transferred through from his original body. I knew it was a vulnerable part of him. He’d told me as much. Not because anyone or anything could easily get into it. They couldn’t, actually. It was sealed with the same strong metal that encased his heart. It was just the idea of what it was. Of knowing where it led to. The very essence of who he was had passed through it and sat on the other side and that seal was what protected that. He closed his eyes at my touch, sighing, and I kissed his lips pressing my forehead to his as we moved to the music, humbled that I was the only one he allowed to touch that spot - to be the only one he’d let get this close. Although, really, you couldn’t get closer than we were with our bond.

“Does it ever bother you,” I murmured as we swayed, “that I can feel what you’re feeling and you can feel me?”

He gave the slightest shake of his head then lifted it away, looking at me. “No,” he quietly answered. “Why?”

“I just know you’ve always been a very private man. Now you suddenly have me knowing everything,” I said.

He lowly chuckled. “You don’t know _everything_. You didn’t know I was going to propose,” he pointed out.

“Yeah, you were able to keep that a secret,” I admitted, smirking. “You sly little Hunter, you.”

He chuckled again and nodded. “Seriously, though … if it were anyone else … yeah. I think it’d bother me,” he said. “I can’t really explain exactly why. Beyond the obvious. I just trust ya, Ais. Always did. You always knew how to make me feel good and cheer me up when I needed it. Supported me. Backed me up. Was there when I needed someone the most. I knew I never had to hide anything from you but if I didn’t want to talk about somethin’ or share somethin’, you never pushed. You could have. I would have answered if you had. But you respected that I didn’t want to. Knowin’ what I know about my past - the things I can remember - not too many people respected that I was still a man in here. That, just cause I looked like a robot, that didn’t mean I didn’t have feelings. I remember feelin’ and bein’ treated like I was property. That what I wanted and needed wasn’t upta me anymore. That my feelings, my memories, who I was … none-a that mattered to Clovis-Bray. Or anyone else. I was just … somethin’ there to be used when needed and ignored the resta the time. That stayed with me though all the reboots and all the dyin’ and comin’ back. And … y-yeah, I know, I got myself inta this mess. But you made me feel like I was me again. The real me. I can just be Cayde with you - not even a Guardian or a Vanguard. Just Cayde. And I know you love me just as I am no matter what. It means everythin’ to me, Ais.”

I hugged him. “Of course I love you just as you are,” I whispered. “You’re perfect. You’re always perfect to me, Little Firefly.”

He shyly chuckled. “Oh, come on. Be honest. It’s the horn, isn’t it? You totally dig the horn.”

I snorted then laughed. “The horn is definitely sexy. And it’s both bad boy and adorable at the same time. I also love the mohawk.” He chuckled affectionately as I looked up at his horn, reaching up, slowly caressing it. He close this eyes, sighing, relaxing even more, leaning into me. “Like that?” I murmured.

“Mmmm,” he grunted, jerking his head just a tiny bit in a nod.

I smiled. It appeared I found something of a sweet spot on him that helped soothe him. I never really did more than a playful tap with my finger or little kiss once in a while. But I think it was because it was a horn and ‘stroking it’ had a bit too much innuendo with it that I never did it before. I kind of wish I had, now seeing how it relaxed him. “I know I never asked but … I’m curious now … Can you feel things though it like the rest of your face and body or is it different in some way?”

“Different?” He asked glancing up toward it, crossing his eyes a little, unwittingly looking adorable. He looked back at me, blinking as he adjusted his optics. “Oh. I see what you mean,” he said, in a bit of a shy voice, having noticed the way I was stroking it. “Heh. No. I don’t feel anything _that_ way,” he smirked. “It doesn’t turn me on. Although, the way you’re moving your hand kinda does,” he admitted and I chuckled. He winked at me, then continued. “I guess it feels like … Uh … well, imagine if, right here,” he said, his fingertip touching the top of my forehead, right at my hairline, “if you could touch this point and just stretch it out. So you’d still feel this part of you, it’d just be stretched out like a horn.” He shrugged. “Or somethin’ like that.”

“So that’s why it feels so good to you,” I murmured, looking up at it. “It feels like I’m caressing your forehead.”

“Sorta, yeah,” he nodded and his eyes closed again as he sighed once more, actually stopping swaying to focus on how it felt. “Just, uh … really … nice. Like … you’re makin’ every parta me feel so … relaxed and … safe, I guess. But you have that affect on me anyway.” I smiled. It was sobering to realize just how great an impact I had on him and, despite how strong and independent he was, how much his vulnerable side really did rely on me. 

It only made me want to be stronger for him.

I tenderly kissed his right eyebrow, nuzzling him gently. His eyes slowly fluttered back open and he looked at me for a moment before this eyes drifted down to my mouth. I kept my eyes on his as he lifted his hand to my cheek, his thumb touching my lips, very lightly tracing them, before he leaned in and kissed them. 

I couldn’t help the soft whimper I’d made at the way he’d kissed me, making my toes curl. For a man with metal lips, he could kiss like no ones business. And it was never hard or cold. They felt warm and smooth and he never pressed too hard, making them feel soft against my own. The only thing that really felt different from getting kissed by a human or Awoken man was Cayed’s lack of cheeks and teeth. The way things felt more open. But, even at that, he had his own way of using his mouth and tongue that made him unique and sensual and, honestly, I liked it far better in how gentle it was, even with heated passion behind it. 

I sighed against those sweet lips and kissed him back, easing my hand from his horn to wrap my arms around his neck. His own arms went around my waist, pulling me into him and I moaned, almost possessively, deepening the kiss. He moaned back and I felt him start to shuffle me backward, realizing he was pushing me back into the wall as the kissing grew more heated and urgent. He moved to my jaw and my throat, making me gasp, especially when I felt the tip of his tongue tease my skin. I curled my fingers and ran them over the top of his head along his mohawk, lifting my leg, curling it around him, pulling him into me more forcefully. He groaned and ooooh, there it was. I could feel how hard he was getting and the rush of excitement welling up in him. I slid my hand down over his chest, rubbing it through the soft material of his sweater as he moved to the other side of my neck. My eyes fluttered closed and I panted softly, my hand moving lower and lower before slipping into the front of his pants. He gasped then softly growled as I cupped and caressed him, my thumb and fingertips lovingly and sensually caressing every curve of his anatomy. He instinctively rocked into my hand and I grinned, closing my hand around his warm, hard length, his head dropping to my shoulder. There was still part of me that felt strange doing this. Not because I didn’t want to. Ooooh, I loved doing this to him. He was hotter than hot and when he let go … Oh what it did to me! But I still saw the man who was my friend before anything else and there was still this tiny little part of me that was adjusting to him being more than just my best friend. 

He moaned, pulling me out of my thoughts, and grabbed at my arm, gently making me ease my hand out of his pants. “That feels … so good, b-but you keep doing that, it’s gonna … be over before it starts. And I really want to make this last,” he panted.

I grinned. “What did you have in mind?” I asked and he winked, then tugged me to the bedroom.

It was all a blur of kisses, sweet touches and caresses, soft murmurs, and tender nuzzles before we practically tore each others clothes off. I soon found myself laying on my stomach on the blowing white comforter, Cayde hovering over me, his hands touching me everywhere. I felt his tongue slowly lick up my spine, making me shudder with pleasure, while he lightly pet my skin in the most loving way. I moaned, fisting the comforter, slowly rocking my hips needfully at just the thought of him taking me. He chuckled and brushed my hair aside, kissing the back of my neck. “Cayde,” I breathed and he leaned over my shoulder brushing my cheek with his lips, pressing himself into the back of my thigh. “Yes, baby?” He whispered, almost teasingly. I grinned and turned my head, looking back toward him and he nuzzled me again then sat back and slid his hands over my back and down along my hips in a slow, sensual massage. I moaned, lifting them into his touch. 

“Is that a hint?” He rumbled and gently nibbled his way over my bottom before I felt a playful lick between my legs. I gasped, eyes wide, raising my hips even more. He chuckled. “Definitely a hint,” he purred and did it again, this time lingering, using his tongue and his lips. 

I trembled, actually biting at the comforter, growling a little. “Ooooh, you’re showing me whatever it was you watched that taught you how to do this,” I panted. 

He chuckled again and kept at it, making me tremble even more. 

“Cayde …”

“I know,” he breathed, licking me again. “Ride it out, baby. Feel it. Let go.” He undulated his tongue against me, going faster and faster until I was softly crying out with each pant, getting closer and closer, a fine sheen of sweat breaking out over my skin. I let go of the comforter and blindly reached back, grabbing his hand as I teetered on the edge. He curled his fingers into mine, giving them a squeeze, rolling his tongue against me as fast as he could before I gasped, tensing and shuddering as I came, moaning. Goosebumps rose everywhere on my skin and his free hand slid up over my back, his lips following until he was leaning over me, teasing my entrance as if silently asking if I wanted to stay this way or roll over. I grinned at him over my shoulder and pushed back onto him. He hissed and groaned pushing forward, sliding into me without any resistance. I was curious to make him let go like this. We hadn’t really done this exact position and I had to admit, the idea of him grabbing my hips and just letting loose was such a turn on!

“Don’t you dare hold yourself back,” I breathed, pushing back a little more, feeling his hands grab at my hips, squeezing them. 

“You sure?” he asked, his voice shuddering with excited effort to speak properly.

“I don’t care if you break the damn bed,” I practically growled. I really didn’t. I just wanted him!

He lowly chuckled and gave me a good hard thrust, making me gasp. “You really sure?” He purred, and I could hear the grin in his voice.

I grinned back over my shoulder. “If you don’t, I’ll flip you over and completely wreck you, you horrid tease.” 

“Mmmm. You promise?” He purred. “Even if I do what you ask?” He murmured, leaning over kissing between my shoulders. 

“Ooooh, the things I’ll go to you, Cayde,” I moaned and felt him pull back and slam into me, making my whole body shudder with the force. I gasped and pushed back into him, urging him on. He kissed along my spine then sat up and started carefully thrusting at first then gripped my hips tighter and started really going at it, pounding into me! I threw my head back, moaning and panting. “Oh, yes! That’s what I want!” I encouraged, writhing! Oh, he felt so damn good!

Apparently I’d gotten him pretty worked up, too, because it didn’t take him long to start crying out my name. I looked over my shoulder and reached back, setting my hand on his hip, carefully stopping him. He blinked at me, panting and I gave him a gentle push back. He moved away, looking at me half out of it, half confused, and I grinned then pulled him around and pushed him down onto his back, straddling his hips. I sank back down onto him and we moaned in unison as I leaned over, kissing him, pinning his wrists over his head as I started rocking on top of him. He groaned into my mouth and I moved my lips to his jaw, tracing the tip of my tongue over the rises and rivets that made up and held together the darker plate of metal. He tilted his head to the side, panting, his eyes rolling back as they closed. I took advantage of the motion exposing his neck, and gently nipped at the warm, deep gray silicone skin, followed by soothingly licking at the subtle marks I’d left. He gasped, his chest arching up into mine and I let his wrists go, sitting up, raking my nails over his pecks and down along his ribs. He softly cried out and pushed his hips up into me as I pushed back down and squeezed around him, making him gasp again. I leaned back, balancing myself with my hands on his thighs and rolled and ground my hips into him. 

“Traveler help me, you’re beautiful,” Cayde panted, his hands softly sliding up over my belly then cupping my breasts, massaging them. I trembled with pleasure, feeling a warm tingle start to build within me again as his thumbs brushed over my nipples. I looked down at him, panting heavily, and sat up, taking his wrists in my hands. I kissed each one and licked at the tender pulse points, making him shiver, before pinning them back down, licking and nipping at his chest in the process. He moaned and, despite not having nipples of his own, there were sensitive spots on his pecks that, when I found them with my tongue, made him shudder and gasp. He pushed against my hands, but I pushed back, holding his wrists down. That only seemed to make him thrust up harder and faster and I started sucking on the tender spot, making him whimper and thrash his head back and forth, pushing his chest up into my mouth. I grinned and moved to the other side, doing the same until he was whimpering and writhing uncontrollably under me, calling my name and begging me to let him let go. 

I grinned again and sat back up, letting go of his wrists and laced our fingers together, starting to bounce on top of him as I did. His fingers tightened around my own as he matched my rhythm panting hard, looking up at me as I smiled down at him. I could feel him getting close, feel the rush starting to build within him, urging my own on and, soon after, his eyes rolled back and he arched up, pushing up into me as he cried out, trembling, forcing another incredible orgasm from me in the process of finding his own!

 

We laid tangled up together on top of the comforter, holding each other close, still softly panting as we settled. I slowly, lovingly, caressed the center of Cayde's chest with my fingertips and kissed the side of his neck. He carefully tilted this head into mine and gave me a little squeeze. “I didn’t realize there were so many places on this body that could feel that good,” he murmured, making me smile.

“You remember, a few days ago, at dinner - the night you proposed - you told me about going to the village and there was something else you were going to tell me? You said it was something good, but private and you’d tell me later.”

Cayde lowly chuckled. “Yeeeees,” he murmured, sounding amused.

“Well?” I asked, grinning.

“It’s nothing scandalous, if that’s what you’re thinkin’,” he chuckled again. “It was just, uh, heh,” he shook his head and laid it back into the pillow. “I remembered what I was and all. Memories were there. But, seein’ all the people at the village, when I had a private space of my own and a mirror, I got curious and stripped down, wanting to see my body. It was a familiar but foreign thing in that moment. Like, I remembered it, but needed to see it to confirm the memory. Reacquaint myself with it.”

“‘Reacquaint yourself’, hm?” I asked, smirking.

He laughed. “Make fun all ya want but it was like a first time again. That moment when you go: ‘Oh! So _that’s_ what that feels like!’.

I snickered. “Yeah, I know, handsome. I had the same reaction.”

“You did?” He asked, and I could hear the curiosity in his voice.

I nodded. “Although I didn’t do the same thing as you. I had that moment of stripping down and looking myself over, cause I didn’t know what I was or what I looked like. I had no memories at all. Nothing. Still don’t. Just odd feelings of deja vu when I go certain places. But it was weeks after waking up in the Cosmodrome before I felt anything and did anything.”

“Are you going to elaborate?” He asked, sounding intrigued.

I snorted. “I don’t think you’d believe me.”

“Why not?” He asked.

I sat up and looked at him, propping my head up in the heel of my hand. “Because it was you I fantasized about.”

His eyebrows shot up and he blinked. “What?” He gaped.

I nodded. “Mmm hmm.”

“Me?!” He asked again, as if what I said hadn’t sunk in.

“I told you you wouldn’t believe me,” I smirked, then pet his chest again. “It was those damn hips of yours. When I’d be in the Hall, talking with Zavala, and catch you walking around the table out of the corner of my eye … I was glad I had my helmet on and could watch you without you knowing. But, yeah. I just … I couldn’t help it. And then, one night, I got to thinking about you and … well, I pretty much imagined something like we just did and … wow did I sleep good that night.”

He was still gaping at me. “And … that was just weeks after you woke up a Guardian?”

I nodded. 

“Meaning you spent the next four years just being acquaintances with me at first, then a sort of mentor and friend, then the last year as close friends and … you never made a move?!”

“I told you, I didn’t want to-”

“To push me. I know,” he nodded. “But … stars, Ais. I wouldn’t have run away from ya.”

I smiled. “I know. But I’m glad we waited. I’m not glad about what finally forced us to say something to each other. But, in its own way, I think it just made what we felt stronger. Made our bond stronger. And I don’t mean the one with our Light. I mean just us.”

He smiled and caressed my cheek. “I didn’t think I could love you more than I do now. But I do.” He shook his head. “You really loved me for that long?”

I nodded, laying my hand over his. “And I’ll love you forever to come,” I murmured.

He swallowed and blinked a little, then smiled even brighter, as if it was impossible I could love him that much, but believing it just the same, without question. He wrapped me up in his arms, hugging me tight, happiness just radiating off of him.

We laid there in comfortable silence for a while longer when it dawned on me there were other things Cayde had mentioned he was going to tell me when I got home, but had forgotten with everything else. “What were the other things you were going to tell me?”

“Hmm?”

“On your list,” I said. “You said there were four things. We had dinner and you told me about the apartment. What were the other two things?”

“Oh!,” Cayde chuckled. “Geez. I can’t believe I forgot.”

“Don’t feel bad. I did, too, til just now,” I smiled. 

“Well, the first thing is easy. Well … not easy but … Anyway, I was wonderin’ if you’d go with me to Mars tomorrow? I, uh … I gotta talk to Bray. Been days since I snapped at her and I wanna patch things up. She’s a good kid. I know she didn’t meanta push my buttons. She just wants to do what’s right for people. Doesn’t mean I’m gonna tell her anything. And Enceladus is still Vanguard territory. It’s off limits talking about and going to without discussing things with me or Zavala and Ikora. I wanna make that clear to her. But I don’t hate her or anything.”

“Of course I’ll go with you, sweetheart. And, I know,” I nodded. “I’m sure she does feel bad. I saw the look on her face that day. She knew she pushed you too far and shouldn’t have.”

“I’m actually surprised you didn’t yell at her,” Cayde admitted, smirking at me.

“It wouldn’t have done any good. You know that. And my main concern was you and making sure you were okay.”

He gave me a little squeeze.

“What was the other thing?” I asked.

“Well, when we get done on Mars, Petra’s asking to meet again. She said she wants to know what happened to Uldren and since he isn’t talkin’, wants us to look inta some stuff. See if we can figure out what drove him to do what he did - besides bein’ an asshole. Also she said she has something for us.”

I smirked. “Seems there’s no rest for the wicked, hm?”

He snorted. “We must have been HORRIBLE people in our other lives.”

I laughed.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't know why but I just really enjoyed writing this chapter. Hope you all like it too. I'll have more soon!

While meeting in the Vanguard Council room, Cayde spoke with Zavala about our plans for the day - visiting Ana and then Petra - and I stepped aside with Ikora for a quick, private meeting.

“Do you know much about Old Tibet?” I quietly asked her as we moved to the other end of the room.

“I’ve been there many times over the years,” Ikora nodded. “Why?”

“Apparently there’s an old town, maybe was once part of a city - all ruins now - filled with blue flowers. It’s somewhere near Lhasa or may be what’s left of Lhasa.”

Ikora arched an eyebrow. “There’s hardly anything left of Lhasa now. Only a few ruins remain of what was once a vast city nestled in a valley surrounded by barren mountains. There are ruins not far from there, though, about twenty-five miles northeast and … it’s the only place Himalayan Blue Poppies still grow.”

“So, if Cayde saw blue flowers, that’d be the only place he could see them?” I asked.

She nodded. “In all of Tibet, yes. It was once known as the Ganden Monastery.”

“What about a couple hundred years ago? Would they still have been the only blue flowers?” I asked.

She nodded. “They’re all that’s been left for a long time.”

“That’s got to be it then,” I said to myself, shaking my head.

“Why do you want to know?” She asked.

I looked over and saw Cayde was still talking with Zavala so I answered, but kept my voice quiet. “When Cayde woke a Guardian, it was near Lhasa. Apparently that was the last place he was before the Collapse. He told me, in the weeks following, he ventured out and found ruins where blue flowers were growing. He said they made the broken and worn look so pretty. Like he could see the life and beauty springing up from the destruction. He could see what was and what could be again with help and that was the moment he decided he was going to do the helping. So I know it’s a really important place to him.”

She smiled. “And?”

“And … I’ll need help from you and Zavala but, if we could find out when the poppies are in bloom, I’d like to surprise him and make it where we hold our bonding ceremony.”

Ikora’s smile grew and her eyes sparkled with an excited delight she wouldn’t dare let show outwardly. She’d even managed to hide it when Cayde and I had told her, Zavala, and Holliday we were engaged. She’d smiled, in a knowing way, similar to how she was now, but you could see she was overjoyed in her eyes. Zavala had stood a bit taller, looking at us proudly, almost in a fatherly way, then softly, and warmly congratulated us. And Holliday … well, she’d whooped super loud, told us it was ‘About dang time!’, then grabbed Cayde up in a big hug, almost knocking him over, telling him no one deserved it more before grabbing me up in a hug, too! It had been followed by Zavala taking the five of us out for drinks and Cayde telling a rather elaborate and very sweet version of the proposal, sans the after but, when he and I both smiled at each other and Cayde leaned over and softly pressed his forehead to mine, I’m pretty sure the other three knew that night had had a very passionate end.

“And how do you plan on making it a surprise considering he’s the groom?” She asked, pulling me out of the memory.

“Oh, uh, well, the way I’ve been thinking about this is, if we can lock down a date for the ceremony, on that day, Cayde can get ready here and, since I’m sure it’s a given both Zavala and Shiro - who we’re going to tell when he visits - are going to be his best men, when he’s ready to go, they can blindfolded him and fly him there, since it will only take a few minutes.” I looked over, noticing Cayde and Zavala were finishing up. “I’ll meet with you later about more details, but that’s my plan if it’ll work. I really don’t want him to know, though. It _needs_ to be a surprise.”

She smiled and nodded. “Contact me later.”

I smiled back. “Thanks.”

“What are you two bein’ all hush - hush about over here?” Cayde asked, stepping over to us, hugging me from behind, pulling me back against him.

I smiled at him over my shoulder and pet his arms. “Meditation techniques to help with the nightmares,” I said, not missing a beat. 

Ikora nodded, following along. “I’m going to pick up a special blend of tea for you to try as well. Cayde, even being an Exo, it wouldn’t hurt for you to try it.”

I smirked. Oh, she was good. And, I also realized in saying what I did, she would get the tea anyway, knowing my comment was not just a cover but, with all we’d been through, there was no doubt we were having trouble sleeping some nights, which we were.

“As long as it’s not that tea that tastes like the hairs off the back end of a Fallen Dreg, sure,” Cayde nodded.

I made a distasteful but amused face and looked over my shoulder at him again. “How would you know what the hairs off the back end of a Fallen Dreg taste like?” I teased.

“It was a figure of speech,” he said, shrugging, deliberately trying to look and sound innocent.

“Uh huh. You sure it wasn’t 'cause Shiro tried to put them in chili?” I asked.

“You’re never gonna let me live down tellin’ you that story, are ya?”

“Shiro’s not allowed to cook when he visits.”

Cayde snorted, dropping his head to my shoulder, snickering, while Zavala sighed and Ikora softly chuckled.

 

After some light teasing from Holliday about the showerhead she’d fixed on the ship and Cayde clearing his throat and asking just what she’d know about showerheads getting ‘broken’, she turned the tables on him and replied: “Oh, I’ve broken a few, myself.”. 

If it were possible for Cayde to have gone crimson from head to toe, he would have. He’d sputtered and shook his head, pulling himself out of it and then narrowed his eyes at her, turning all protective, asking just who she was breaking shower heads with, but I laughed and tugged him onto the ship before he could put his foot further in his mouth, leaving Holliday grinning rather smugly. 

It was cute the way those two interacted. At first I’d gotten the impression Cayde was sort of like an uncle to Holliday but, over the years, I saw the relationship was more big brother, baby sister. It was funny how those relationships formed among many in the Tower but especially around Cayde. He just had that air about him with most. But, Holliday, he’d known her since she was little and had done his best to comfort her after her parents had died. He meant a lot to her and it showed in the way she’d reacted when Petra and I brought him back from the prison, the way she’d sat at his bedside and held his hand, even though she wasn’t sure he could hear her, and the way she’d reacted when he stepped off the ship after coming back from Enceladus. He was family to her and she to him.

“I can still see her as a little kid!” Cayde said as I flew us away from the Tower. “I don’t wanna know about her ‘breakin’ showerheads’! Who’s she breakin’ showerheads with anyway?! I’ll break them if they hurt her,” he mumbled, crossing his arms over his chest, sulking a bit.

I smiled and reached over petting his knee. “She’s a big girl with a big wrench. She’ll be fine. And she knows, if she ever really needs you, she can go to you. Trust her, okay?” I gently soothed.

He sighed and looked over at me. “Yeah. Yeah, okay.” He shook his head. “When did she grow up?” He asked no one in particular, as if he still saw the little girl she was when they’d first met. 

 

As I piloted the ship out of Earth’s orbit, Cayde finally managed to sit back and relax and I stayed quiet, giving him some time to prepare himself for talking to Ana. 

“Do you think I was in the right, snappin’ at her the way I did?” Cayde carefully asked me as we made the quick jump. “Bray, I mean."

I glanced over at him. “She called you selfish without taking time or consideration to learn why you were being so cautious and not saying things. She may not know you as well as I do, or as well as Ikora or Zavala do, but I know she knows you well enough to know you’re not a selfish person. If you were holding back, it was for a very good reason. Regardless of her desire to help others, I think it was out of line and hurtful for her to call you selfish, especially right then, after everything you’d just been through. So, yes, I think you were in the right, reacting the way you did.” 

I sensed some of the tension ease as he nodded, then looked out the window. I reached over and took his hand off the armrest and lifted it to my lips, kissing the backs of his fingers before softly smiling at him. He smiled back and I let his hand go as we came out of the jump, navigating us down to the surface and closing in on the Bray facility.

Cayde sat up a bit straighter as the Futurescape came into view. “I always forget how big it is,” he murmured.

I looked out the window, following Cayde’s gaze to the massive structure that housed Rasputin.

“Y’know Zavala’s the one who found it?” Cayde asked, looking over at me. 

“No, I didn’t,” I shook my head.

Cayde nodded. “I used to tell Ikora I’d go find Rasputin. Find it and ask it to help us. Heh. Had no idea Zavala had already found it and Ikora knew that and had seen it herself. But I was new to the Vanguard game then. Some things I wasn’t let in on quite yet. But she’d hinted it to me, I just didn’t realize it at the time. They didn’t know if it wanted to be found and if we did go pokin’ around … It was like Pandora’s Box. Filled with knowledge from the Golden Age that may help us, but who knows what else we’d let out if we disturbed it.”

I nodded. “Have you … been inside? Heard it speak?”

He turned his eyes to me and shook his head. “Technically it is ‘Vanguard Business’ so I could’ve, but I got the feelin’ Zavala was afraid I’d say or do something to piss it off so …” He shrugged. “He was probably right. When I found out they knew, I was told it was sealed up. For safety, until we knew more about it and how to approach it. That it was just too dangerous.”

“You felt like they didn’t trust you,” I said, sensing a slight twinge if hurt from him.

He nodded. “Yeah. It was years ago. I forgave it. I got where they were comin’ from. And you seen how good I am with tech like that. Got stuck in a damned Vex loop. Who knows what woulda happened with Rasputin. My intentions woulda been good but …” he shrugged. “Still … woulda liked to have talked to it. Known what it thought. What it learned. If it really could help us.”

“Did Zavala tell you anything about when Ana and I went inside with him?” I asked.

He nodded. “Yeah. Rasputin wasn’t all that happy with being seen as a primitive weapon by the Vanguard. It knows it has far greater potential. Basically, Pandora’s Box got opened. Also told me it sent satellites out all through the system and beyond so it could detect threats and protect humanity. Only question I got - only question I ever really had - is: If it had all those mighty tools, and it lost - what did it learn? What's it going to try this time around when the Darkness comes back? And that’s the real scary thing. It’s designed to defend humanity. But what does that mean to it? And what will that mean for humanity?”

I nodded. I’d had the same exact thoughts. “Did he tell you what Rasputin said? The last thing it said while we were in there?”

“It has no equal,” Cayde nodded. He then looked over at me and I gave him a sideways glance. “It scares you, doesn’t it?” He asked.

I hesitated at first, then nodded. “It said it would defend humanity on its own terms. But, like you said: What does that mean to it? And what will that mean for humanity?”

He looked at me for a few moments, then took my hand this time, lifting it to his lips and kissing the back of it before giving it a squeeze. “Have a little faith, beautiful,” he murmured with a reassuring smile. I knew he didn’t know any more than I did. Wasn’t sure of anything more than I was. But I also knew he was trying to make me feel better. To reassure me things would somehow be okay. And, maybe, trying to reassure himself of that, too. 

I softly smiled back at him, squeezing his hand in return, then circled us around the complex so Ghost could transmat us down at the entrance.

“We’ve got Hive and Cabal shooting it out near the entrance. Watch yourselves,” Ghost cautioned.

“Well, that’s nothing new. They were doing that the last time I was here,” I said, pulling on my helmet and checking my sidearm. “What about the Bray facility where Ana is? She safe?”

“Yes,” Ghost said. “She’s got a barrier up to stop them getting inside where she is.”

“Thought you and the other Guardians took care of the Hive and Cabal in this sector?” Cayde asked, putting the helmet on Shiro had made for him. We’d be landing close to the entrance but I knew Mars’ sands getting in his face plates would make him miserable and take forever to wash out. He’d agreed, so the helmet was a must here. 

“We did,” I answered. “But the Hive keep spawning up from below and other parts of the facility we haven’t uncovered yet. And, of course, the Cabal keep coming around, looking for anything they can get.

“Well, at least this trip will be a little fun,” Cayde said, spinning the barrel on the Ace of Spades before slapping it into place and giving it a little twirl on his finger. 

I smiled. “Banshee got that fixed up real good for you, huh?” I asked, motioning to his cannon.

Cayde nodded. “And got all the naughty prince juju off it, too,” he added.

I would have laughed at that if I hadn’t known Cayde really did believe in good and bad luck from people and Uldren was bad luck as far as he was concerned. He’d made sure Banshee knew to give the gun a complete overhaul and to wipe it clean, which Banshee would have done anyway, but Cayde had still double-checked with him.

When we transmatted down, there weren’t too many Hive and Cabal duking it out and we’d managed to easily get past them, much to Cayde’s disappointment. I think he wanted to have an excuse to fire the Ace some more, if for any reason, to reassure himself it was back where it belonged in his hand and still as good as it always had been. I smiled to myself, planning something for after we talked with Ana.

When we stepped inside the facility, I heard the rapid tapping of keys off to our right and saw Ana was up in her usual place, on the balcony above a large, soft blue lit ‘Clovis-Bray Engineering Discovery’ sign, standing by a large window and typing away at a console. “Ana?” I called as we started walking up.

She paused and looked up, surprised. “Aislin?” Then she must have realized it was Cayde following behind me, because her eyes got a bit wider in even more surprise and in, what I was sure, was also apprehension. “Cayde?” She stood up straighter as we approached.

“Hey, Bray,” Cayde casually said as we neared, both of us taking our helmets off. 

“Uuuh. What brings you both here? Thought you were taking care of those Barons and Uldren?” She asked.

“Barons are toast, Uldren’s back in lock-up, and apparently Petra just can’t get enough of yours truly, so we’re goin’ to see what she’s got for us today, but I, uh … I wanted to come here and … well … Wanted to patch things up with ya,” he said as we stopped a few feet from Ana.

“Cayde, I’m so sorry. I should’ve been more sensitive and understanding,” Ana immediately said, looking genuinely remorseful for what had happened back on Enceladus.

Cayde nodded. “Yeah, yeah, you shoulda been,” he said. “But I, uh … I maybe overreacted a bit, too. Probably shouldn’t have run off like I did. Shoulda talked to ya.” I wanted to set my hand on his back in encouragement, but I got the feeling he needed to stand alone on this one. That it wouldn’t actually help but make him falter in some way. So I just stood by and let them speak. 

She shook her head. “You’d been through a lot. I let my curiosity get the better of me. You were right in what you said. I felt terrible as soon as I said it and … when you snapped … I knew I did the wrong thing. I’m sorry.”

Cayde looked at her and gave a nod. “Don’t worry about it, kid. We’re still friends. Just … I can’t tell you things.” He shrugged. “Just the way it is. It’s … I-I just can’t. And, that place is off limits. No arguments. Pretend you were never there or even heard of it, okay?”

She looked at him for a few beats then nodded. “I understand.”

He nodded and held his hand out to her. She smiled a little and took it, shaking Cayde’s hand, putting the fight behind them and moving on. 

“So, uh … how are you feeling?” She asked him as they let go of each other.

Cayde perked up. “Well … takin’ out a buncha bad guys in epic style - all who thought they’d done in the infamous Cayde-6 - and showin’ up a certain smug as hell prince, made me feel pretty damn good,” he said. “But, uh,” he shrugged and glanced at me, smirking, before looking back at Ana. “Nothin’ really compares to bein’ engaged.”

“En-” Ana blinked and looked between us, stunned. “Engaged? You mean …?” She gestured between the two of us and I smiled and nodded.

I noticed her eyes glanced toward my left hand, no doubt looking for a sign of a ring, even with my gloves on. I smirked and pulled my glove off and showed her the bracelet. “Cayde had it made from his armor. A ring for a Titan really isn’t practical considering how much stuff we punch,” I smirked.

“It’s beautiful,” Ana said, looking at it. “It’s from your armor?” She asked Cayde.

He nodded. “My belt here,” he said, gesturing to the leather belt that crossed over his chest and held up the padded brace that went around his waist and held his knife holster. “I had a strip taken off all around. And then here,” he said, twisting to his side, showing her the brass plate that covered the hem of the shoulder piece that draped down over his upper arm, just over his Earth patch. He pointed to a triangular shape that was cut out but that had been smoothed and polished so it looked like it was part of a design of the piece rather than just missing a section. “It made the rivet clasp,” he explained.

“Why is the leather blue?” She asked, noticing the weaved leather around my wrist had some teal dye added to the brown.

Cayde tapped to his face and Ana smiled. “It’s not just your armor but a representation of you?”

Cayde nodded. 

“That’s … really romantic,” she smiled and Cayde looked quite proud of himself, as well he should be. It had been such a beautiful and intimately thought out gift for an engagement. I always smiled when I looked at it. 

“What about when you guys actually do the whole wedding thing? Are you going to have a ring then?” She asked me.

“Oh, yeah,” I nodded. “A band is fine. We’ll both have one. But a traditional engagement ring for me would’ve just gotten broken and that would’ve been terrible. Besides,” I said, wrapping my hand around the bracelet, “this means far more to me.”

Ana grinned. “Well, yeah. It’s his armor. That’s pretty damn special.” She looked between the two of us. “Congratulations. When’s the big day?”

“We haven’t set a date yet. We will,” I said.

“And you better be there, Bray,” Cayde told her. “Consider this your invitation.” 

She smiled. “Wouldn’t miss it for anything,” she nodded.

 

We hung out with Ana for a while longer and she showed us some blueprints she’d uncovered from the facilities archives, that showed what the place had looked like during the Golden Age. To say it was impressive was an understatement. It had truly been a Futurescape and everything humanity had hoped it could be as the first planet in our Solar System we’d ventured out to beyond Earth. Cayde was fascinated by it, studying the designs closely and I knew he was doing so to see if anything sparked a memory but, even after a good half hour, nothing was coming back. Still, it had been incredible to look at them. To see what had been here and, hopefully, one day, may be again.

After saying goodbye to Ana and putting or helmets back on, stepping outside, I noticed Cayde looking around the area. I could tell he was feeling better now, having gotten that out of the way. It was one more thing that had been weighing on him that he could now move past. “You think we’ll ever see it? One day? See it all rebuilt? Maybe not exactly like it once had been, but something close to what once was?” He asked me. 

I smiled and nodded, taking his hand and leaning into his side. “One day,” I told him. “But … in the meantime,” I said, turning, looking at him, “you promised me you’d take me for a sparrow ride. And we’re here on Mars. And I think we can spare a little more time before seeing Petra so, what do you say? You can even be totally reckless and try hitting a few Hive and Cabal as we speed along - get some more practice in with the Ace.” 

“So much yes!” He whispered, playfully leaning into me, giving me a hug, instantly giddy. 

Ghost materialized Cayde’s sparrow for us and he got on, petting the spot behind him. I straddled the seat and snuggled up to him, wrapping my arms around his middle, holding on tight as I laid against his back, molding myself to him in a way that just felt so perfect and natural. I felt his body sigh and relax in my arms as well as felt the thrill and affection buzzing all through him. He revved the sparrow. “Ready?” He asked.

“Ready,” I said, grinning, and he released the clutch, the sparrow taking off smoothly, gradually opening up as Cayde slowly brought it up to full speed, taking us over the pathways and trails surrounding the Futurescape and Hellas Basin. When we encountered Cabal and Hive, Cayde pulled out the Ace of Spades and expertly managed to steer the sparrow as he aimed, shooting without missing a single target, even as he ducked and weaved us around them, their gunfire, and rock and other debris in the area. There was no question Cayde had had a lot of practice and, as he continued to take out enemies along the way, I started feeling a strange yet welcome connection with him. Soon after, I found myself able to help him tilt and balance the sparrow, just knowing when and how he was going to move without giving it a thought.

Eventually, we found ourselves out the other side of one of the ice caves and up along side one of the ice and snow covered mountains. Cayde stopped the sparrow and we got off, stepping over to the edge of one of the flattened areas of snowy rock and looked out over a vast glacier valley and small lake, the snow giving way to red sandy land and mountains beyond. The glaciers themselves were surrounded by a sea of orange-tinted fog, reflecting from the sun, and the icy walls that rose up from the ground shimmered hues of reds and golds within it. It looked like the land was on fire, despite the biting cold. Frosty, sand-laced winds howled and whistled around us and I gazed up and to my right, seeing Phobos lazily rotating in the sky above, stars sparkling further up, the sunlight unable to fully block out their shimmering beauty. An occasional warsat left a red streak through the sky as it came silently crashing down to the surface far off in the distance, breaking up before ever touching the ground.

“It really is quite beautiful, even now,” I murmured and Cayde nodded.

“Can you just imagine all this but with life here? A city? People?” Cayde asked.

“I try to, sometimes,” I nodded. "It must have really been something, just like on the other planets and moons.”

Cayde nodded. “Yeah.”

I turned my head, looking at him. “You were trying to remember something by looking at those blueprints, weren’t you? See if anything sparked a memory?”

Again he nodded.

“Nothing, though, huh?”

He shook his head. “No. I … I get that weird deja vu feelin’. Like the one you say you get sometimes when you go to certain places. I know I was here before this life.” He shook his head again. “But nothing comes to me when I try to remember.”

I put my arm around his shoulders and gave him a gentle squeeze. He looked at me and gave me a little smile through he helmet visor. “When we were ridin’ through the paths back there … did you starta feel - ”

“Connected?” I asked him.

He nodded.

I nodded, too. “Yeah. I’m pretty sure that was one of those moments Zavala told us about. Where we’d just know what the other was doing or going to do without thinking about it. I just knew when you were going to move and how and moved with you.”

He gave a little nod, looking back out at the valley. “That ... was really awesome,” he murmured and I smirked. “Felt good, too,” he added.

“Yeah, it did,” I nodded, smiling again.

He playfully bumped my hip with his. “Come on. Even with the thermal system on the underarmor, I’m gettin’ chilly and we shouldn’t keep P.V. waitin’.”

I smiled. “I get you a stronger set of temperature regulating underarmor, you promise to bring me back so we can go riding again?” I asked.

“Baby, I’ll take ya all over this planet,” Cayde smiled and gave me a little hug before Ghost brought the ship around for us so we could board and head back to the Tangled Shore.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here you go my wonderful readers! I know some of you have been curious, so here's the start ... Tomorrow Season of the Drifter begins, so I may take a day or two to play around, gather some info, look into more and new Lore opening up, and plot out ties for it in the story! (If you follow me on Tumblr, you already know I got it out for that Praxic Warlock, Aunor. SO want to PUNCH her.) . Anywhoo, I will be working on chapter 4 a bit, too, in between everything else, so you won't have to wait too long for more! :) . In the meantime, as always, enjoy!  
> ~Ais

‘Looking into some stuff’ for Petra turned out to be something bigger than both Cayde and I had thought right at the start. As we approached the Tangled Shore, we opened up the secured comm to her only to have her tell us to meet with Spider - that he had something special for us we’d need if we were going to help her.

As we approached him, lazily sitting atop his suspended, twitchy-legged throne, he heartily laughed, three of his arms holding his enormous belly, while the forth held the small white Ghost shell he tended to fidget with. “Oh, ho-ho, my friend!,” he said, his beady glowing blue eyes fixing themselves on Cayde. “And here I thought I’d seen the last of you but a few weeks ago, conspiring with the dear Warden in my cantina.”

Cayde unclipped and removed his helmet, giving the Spider a familiar nod. I pulled my helmet off as well, looking between the two of them. Conspiring with the dear Warden? I could only guess that meant Cayde had been here speaking with Variks. I wondered whatever happened to him …

“So … you survived your little encounter with the Prince and the Barons, I see? Or was it something more that saved you?” Spider asked, gurgling lightly as he leaned over, looking at Cayde and then myself, lowly chuckling. Just exactly what and how much he knew - having eyes and ears everywhere - was impossible to tell. 

“Petra told us you had something for us?” I asked, getting down to business, trying to divert the uncomfortable leering.

Spider chuckled lowly and leaned back in his seat and gestured to one of his Eliksni guards standing nearby. It clomped over to me, reaching out one of its lower limbs, handing me a small item wrapped in thin, tattered leather cloth, no bigger than my palm. I looked down at it and turned it around in my hand, unwrapping it to discover it was a small light gray stone talisman, carved in the shape of one of the large statues we’d seen in the Watchrtower - an etherial-looking woman wearing hooded robes, holding up one hand close to her chest, palm facing out, the other hand holding a round object of some kind. I frowned at it and showed it to Cayde, handing it to him. 

“Looks just like the statues in the Watchtower,” he confirmed, looking it over.

“A Techeun Coven Mother,” Spider garbled. “It’s beautiful, isn’t it? I envy you, friends. With that lovely little bauble, you may now enter the Dreaming City. The place beyond the Watchtower where no one else has ever been allowed to venture.” He leaned forward again, pointing at the talisman in Cayde’s hand. “The talisman is imbued with the Darkness. That … coupled with your own innate Light, it proves you are worthy to enter the Dreaming City and walk among the Awoken. Keep hold of it incase you ever need to declare yourself. Lest you meet a swift and … permanent death.” He leaned back in his seat and casually eyed the Ghost shell in his clawed hand. “Coordinates have been sent to your Ghost,” he said, glancing at me. “Give Petra Venj my … regards … won’t you? I’ve taken the liberty of preparing you both an escort. They are ready to march when you are.”

 

“You’re worried about me,” Cayde said as I flew the ship around the Shore to the other side near the Watchtower. “I can feel it.”

I nodded. “Of course I am.” I reached over and took his hand. 

He curled his fingers around my palm and gave my hand a squeeze. “Hey,” he murmured and turned in his seat a little as I brought us in to a hover near our coordinates. 

I secured the ship and looked over at him, giving him my full attention. “What?” I asked with a little smile.

“You know I’m not crazy about going back in there,” he admitted. “The Watchtower itself, yeah. Place is awesome. And there’s some stuff in there that, back in the day, totally woulda … er …”

“Stole?” I asked, smirking.

“No. No …. Procured … through less than honest means,” he attempted and I couldn’t help but laugh. He smiled then shook his head and leaned sideways into his seat. “Serious time, though … I know I got ya right there with me if I need ya. But I ain’t one to back down, you know that. Especially when somethin’ gets the better of me. It really did piss me off that place got to me. And I hate that I don’t know why it’s makin’ me feel the way it is. Only thing I got is that journal entry one-a the other me’s wrote.”

“The one where you wrote about the Darkness grabbing you? Asking you if you want to see what’s going to happen?” I gently asked. 

He nodded. “Yeah. That. But … maybe … maybe it didn’t just show me what was gonna happen, but what’s down there. In the dark.”

“I know you act like you don’t always pay attention and like things bore you … but I know that’s just a way to throw some people off. Create an illusion so people underestimate you.”

“What? I do not,” Cayde scoffed.

I smiled. “Don’t worry,” I whispered. “Your secret’s safe with me,” I assured.

He leaned forward toward me. “I know,” he whispered back, winking, then sat back up. “But …?” He asked, urging me to continue with what I was going to say. 

“But … when Eris would talk about the Hive, Crota and Oryx, the Worm Cults, the Death Ceremonies, and all the things in the Deep … you scoffed and blew it off, teasing her, but you knew what she was saying was important, didn’t you?”

He looked at me for a moment, sitting up a little straighter, his lips moving back and forth a little, almost like someone who was casually biting at the inside of their cheek as they pondered something. “You know why I’d tease her and blow her off?” He asked.

I had an idea but I shook my head, letting him tell me. 

“Cause that stuff is dark. And it’s all doom and gloom. All … death. And you know me and that stuff. I don’t … I know it’s reality. I know it’s all around us and we don’t know when it’s comin’ back. Ain’t a question of if, it’s when. I … don’t do well with everythin’ bein’ doom and gloom. Okay. Yeah. I get it. It’s there. But I can’t have it around me all the time. It … depresses me. And you’ve seen me when I’m depressed. I ain’t fun to be around. I tease her to lighten the mood. To try and keep things less … serious even though they are serious things. Ikora gets it when I do it. She tolerates it. Zavala … is Zavala. He wants me to be more serious, but I can’t. I just … can’t. Eris is a tough cookie. To survive what she did an’ all she went though. All the changes that happened to her. I talk about us Exo’s bein’ haunted and havin’ issues, but we ain’t got nothin’ on Eris and …”

“You feel bad for her,” I gently said.

He nodded. “I feel bad for what happened to her. If anyone was gonna survive that, she’s the one. And I don’t mean just bein’ able to crawl outta that hole. I mean up here,” he said, tapping his temple. “She proved it. The fact she ain’t locked in a padded room scremin’ all the time proves how tough she is. But I still feel bad for her. And … bein’ around her gets to me in a couple-a ways. I feel sad and depressed. So I do what I can to push those feelings away. And, yeah, I overstep sometimes, maybe make it worse than I should … but … Call me crazy but I’d rather people be mad at me than sittin’ around like they’re about to face the hangman, which is the mood that comes around whenever Eris does.”

I nodded. I completely understood and saw Cayde nod, too. “It’s why I started talkin’ to ya so much over the comms when you were on the Dreadnaught,” he explained. “I knew you were tough - still are - and … I had a pretty good idea what you were walkin’ into …. I - I didn’t want ya to end up like her. I don’t mean that Eris is bad I just …”

I lifted his hand to my lips and kissed the back of it through the glove. “I know,” I murmured. “And I’ll never have the words to tell you how much you talking to me and tossing out jokes helped. You were there when I really needed someone. Now I’ll be here for you, okay?”

He squeezed my hands and smiled, nodding. “Just … if I start freakin’ out or can’t move or … whatever, like last time? I love ya, Ais, and I’ll need all the hugs you got in ya later, trust me, but … don’t go easy on me? Make me move. Make me fight it. Kick me in the ass. Please? I need that from ya more than anything else right now.”

I nodded, completely understanding. “I’ll keep you going,” I promised.

He smiled and nodded back. “Thanks, beautiful.”

 

When we got to the Watchtower, as Spider had said, backup was waiting - and a good thing, too! Taken were seeping out into more of the tower and were putting up a fight. We ended up getting right into it with no time to consider anything else except helping our Fallen ‘friends’ and getting to Petra.

Strangely enough, the portals that weaved the tower in and out of our world and the Ascendant Realm were gone but there were more black suns partially through the structure and Ascendant … goo, I guess you’d call it, leaked out on the floors and up the walls. 

“Twenty glimmer says - ” Cayde started, but paused to shoot a Taken Acolyte, “that little rock Spider gave us is why we’re walkin’ through here without the portals this time.”

I shot a couple Taken, myself, and looked around again. “That would explain why we’re seeing more of the black suns and the black goo on the floors and walls,” I said, both of us shooting at a Taken Knight as it came at us, taking it out together. “We’re Light. But it’s got the Darkness in it. There’s no clear split between the worlds here for us now. It’s merged like we are with the talisman.”

Cayde nodded. “That’s good, though. No more-a me freakin out,” he said, making light.

“Yeah, but that’s not getting you out of couch cuddles tonight,” I told him. “Found a weird and very old film in an archive search last night that might be fun to watch. Whaddeya say?” I asked, shooting another Taken. “You and me need a movie night.”

“I love movie nights,” Cayde said, sounding thrilled about that plan. “Gotta figure out a better snack this time, though.” He pressed his back against mine as we fought off a swarm of Taken Thrall trying to circle us while Spider’s crew fanned out and took care of the Knights. “Popcorn is murder on this Exo’s throat.” I felt him shift against me and heard one of his knives hit a target followed by a wailing howl.

“Ended up being a no-go, huh?” I asked, reloading again. I wasn’t surprised. Cayde just couldn’t eat some things because of the way his mouth and throat were designed. Popcorn now made the list along with other things he already knew he couldn’t have like toast, other crumbly dry foods, hard candies, and anything gummy or really sticky like caramel. Thankfully he couldn’t choke, but it was damn uncomfortable and, if he couldn’t get it out himself, he ended up in the infirmary with the Exo team running a special wired brush down there, along with a special fluid that dissolved the food, to clean things out. To say it was unpleasant was an understatement. 

“Definitely a no go,” he answered before making a loud ‘HA!’. “Did you see that?! Ho-ho! Man, I’m good!”

I laughed. “I didn’t, what happened?” I asked, glancing over my shoulder as I slapped another clip into my sidearm. 

“Three in a row, baby! Bullet went though the first dude, hit the second, and the first two blew up and took out the third guy!” He sounded so proud of himself.

“Okay, now I’m disappointed I missed that,” I admitted, grinning.

We finished clearing the last of the Taken out and headed up the stairway where Spider’s crew had moved on to, heading back into the large room where we’d defeated Uldren. There were more Taken in there, as well as shielded Blights, and the Fallen were already putting up a good fight.

Cayde reloaded the Ace then spun it on his finger. “Alright, who’s next?” He asked, and fired at the first Taken in the room to come at us, making it disappear in an eerie howl. Combined with the help of Spider’s Fallen, we cleared the room, even eliminating a Taken Centurion with relative ease.

I stepped up to the large glowing portal, looking up at it as Cayde stepped up beside me. “Well … no giant meatballs comin’ out to eat us, so there’s that,” Cayde said. “Sure you wanna leap through there?”

“Mmm,” I nodded. “No fun without a little risk, like you always say,” I smiled.

“I am such a bad influence on you,” Cayde chuckled and I took his hand, both of us leaping through the portal.

 

Everything around us went bright white and it felt like we were floating for a few moments, like in limbo, before there was something solid at my feet again. As the brightness faded and my eyes adjusted, I heard Petra over our comms. “Before she went to war, Queen Mara left me with three orders… Protect our people. Hide our secrets. Believe in the plan. I have protected. I have hidden. I have believed. Now, I want answers. I want to know what drove Uldren to madness. I want to kill whatever evil has crept into the Dreaming City. And most of all, I want to see my Queen again. I want to know that she lives.” 

I looked around noticing we were standing on a large, dark, broken up and cracked piece of almost flat bedrock amidst heavy, low laying mist covering shallow water. It looked like we were out in a rocky cove near the ocean, but there was no sound of the surf. It was almost quiet, save the faint sound of wind. I noticed Cayde was looking around as he pulled his gun back out. I turned and looked up toward the sky, noticing it was full of white clouds that rose up out of the mist becoming a soft, faint pink, looking like it was either early morning or early evening here. 

“Nothing on the tracker,” Cayde said. “Let’s see if we can get to some high ground. Get our bearings.”

I nodded and took my gun out, following along behind him as he navigated a path the stone made through the mist and water that gradually opened up to some more rocks sticking up and, eventually, what looked like land. As we neared it, the fog faded out and we could see scattered mounds of earth sticking up in a sea of white fog, with trees and other plants growing on them. I caught the shape of a structure out the corner of my right eye and, as we got closer, realized it was the Watchtower. “Cayde …” I pointed to it. “Didn’t we just come from there?”

He nodded. “The one in our world … but we’re not in our world anymore. This is the one here. This Dreaming City,” he said, looking around.

I shook my head. “What is this place?” I uttered. The little bit we’d seen so far was beautiful, oddly peaceful in a way I couldn’t explain, but where was it?

“I have an idea,” Cayde quietly said as we kept moving. 

“Going to fill me in?” I asked, keeping on his heels, although I think I knew.

“I’m not positive just yet,” he answered.

“There’s something odd about this place,” Ghost said to us as we wandered up a path heading for the Watchtower. “There’s Light here but also … Darkness. Aislin? You’re Awoken. Do you sense anything?”

I shook my head. “I don’t know,” I said. “It’s … peaceful. Feels familiar in a strange way.”

I noticed Cayde slow his pace and look over his shoulder at me. “Familiar?”

I nodded. “Like the way some places on Earth feel. Maybe … in the life I had before this one I was here but … not. I …”. I shook my head. “I don’t know how to describe it.”

We walked up over a crest and saw long stone bridge off in the distance leading to a large building of some kind, similar in design to the Watchtower, surrounded by more fog and held up with large carved arched pillars. More mounds of earth stuck up, close enough to each other we could easily jump from one to the other as we worked our way over, so that’s what we did. 

“This place reminds me of the Taimu mountains in China,” Cayde said as we made our way along. “They’re steep and stick up out of the mists like this. It’s really pretty.”

“Yeah?” I asked, leaping to another section of earth and rock. “What were you doing there?”

“Old Earth artifacts I was collectin’. Actually honest work there, for once. Before I became a Vanguard, though. I’ll hafta take ya some time. I think you’d like it.”

“It’s a date, handsome,” I smiled.

We suddenly heard the whir and roar of an engine coming up fast on our left. We looked over just in time to see an Awoken ship whiz past us only feet over the rocks, heading for the Watchtower. 

“Petra’s ship,” Ghost said. “Follow her.”

We leaped over a few more mounds of earth and rock, heading for the bridge, when Ghost spotted movement near the entrance. “There. Those women … They look like the Queens Techeuns.” 

As we neared, I narrowed my eyes. “They are the Techeuns,” I said and Cayde and I leaped over the last rock to head down to them when everything around us suddenly changed. We were in the Ascendant Realm before our feet even touched the ground where they’d been. 

“What the hell …?” Cayde asked, looking around. 

“Taken,” I said, seeing them coming at us. I opened fire.

“I thought we were Light and Dark. Why the hell are we back in here?” He asked, I think more upset that we were than surprised that we were. He shot a few of the Taken off to one side as I did on the other while we made our way forward. 

As soon as we took out one group, the low thundery rumble of more coming through sounded off and we were quickly surrounded again, some casting Acolyte’s Eyes. “Ow! Damnit!” Cayde hissed as he got hit in the arm by one, shooting at it, forcing it to disappear back where it came from.

“We got Taken Vex, too, over here!” I called over my shoulder. “Goblins putting up shields! Watch yourself!” I heard his gun going off and the occasional sound of his knife stabbing into something while I took care of the Taken on my side. It seemed like we were getting nearly overrun with Taken Acolytes and Thrall the further in we went but we knew we had no choice but to press forward if we wanted out.

I heard a yelp and then felt the loss of the bond and quickly looked over my shoulder to see Cayde was down. “Cayde!” I hurried over to him, shooting the rest of the Taken nearby, then put up my shield and quickly checked him. He’d gotten hit too many times at once for Ghost to help him in time. “I got the shield up, bring him back,” I told Ghost as I stepped out through it and covered them both as more Taken started making their way toward us, jerking from one spot to another, making it difficult to get proper aim on them. As I did, I felt Cayde come back and sighed with relief, but was unable to look back to check on him. There were too many Taken. Gunfire started ringing out and some of the ones coming at me disappeared in a swirl of black as Cayde came up beside me.

“Miss me?” He asked, reloading.

“If you wanted a break, you could have asked, you didn’t have to go and die,” I teased back, firing again, clearing more of the path.

He chuckled. 

More Taken started to appear, this time mostly comprised of Vex. These ones were tough, and cloaked, growling lowly at us as they fired, then dared to a new spot, making it hard to follow them or get proper aim. We quickly found ourselves surrounded and getting overpowered. I threw up another shield. “I’ll clear the big guys, you get the others,” I told him, and called up the Light, flames all around me as my hammer formed in my hands. I hurled myself out from behind my shield and slammed it down onto the ground, creating fiery tornadoes in every direction, making those caught up in it scream before withering away. As I cleared out the biggest and strongest of the Taken, Cayde ran up behind me and, just like back with Pirrha, I sensed him there just before he jumped up and landed on my back. I pushed up, sending him up into the air before slamming my hammer down again as he summersaulted and twisted, sending a barrage of burning blades out, killing the last of the Taken around us.

When Cayde landed back on his feet, we looked around, the area finally clear. “Baby, we are AWESOME at this!” He said, grinning. “We shoulda been teamed up a long time ago!”

I laughed. “We aren’t out of the woods yet, handsome,” I said, and headed through a circular area outlined in smooth stone next to a massive black sun. A small light danced out of the corner of my eye next to it, like one of the small lights I recalled following on Phobos. “What the …?” 

“What?” Cayde asked, right beside me, gun ready. I lifted my hand, settling it on top of his gun, getting him to lower it, and slowly made my way over to the light. “What is that?” Cayde asked.

“YOU! Why would you come here?” The light asked. “There is no place less suited for the likes of you … either of you, walking in the dreamland of your enemies.”

“Toland …” I whispered. I hadn’t seen or heard him since Oryx, save in my dreams. 

“Toland?” Cayde asked. I knew he knew who Toland was, but was surprised to find himself encountering him.

I nodded. “Been a while,” I said to the light.

Toland scoffed. “And what, am I to be your Virgil? A guide, a shepherd?” He chuckled. “No, no, no…”. He dashed off to another place within the realm. 

“Come on,” I told Cayde, following were Toland went, over broken, floating pieces of rock, black nothingness and howling winds below. I felt Cayde seize up as soon as we got to the edge, backing a couple steps away from it. I could sense he was fighting it. Berating himself and trying to get himself to follow me, but he couldn’t seem to get himself to do it. As much as I hated doing it, I did as he asked and went over to him, grabbing him by his scarf, giving him a good, hard jerk. “Cayde,” I firmly said, pulling him out of the slight stupor he found himself in, getting him to look at me. “Knock off the bullshit. You’re stronger than this and you know it. Now move,” I commanded, my voice hard, then let him go then went to the edge and jumped to the first floating rock, glancing over my shoulder. My saying that seemed to be the kick he needed and he quickly ran and jumped, landing beside me, faltering just a bit. I grabbed him so he wouldn’t fall and nodded. “Good. Now keep moving,” I told him, then ran and leapt to the next rock, seeing Toland on the one up ahead. 

“There are no guides here,” Toland said. “It is a place of scheming queens and traps unsprung.” He then darted further away and we followed, me leading, Cayde keeping up, being careful. I could sense he had a mix of emotion running through him. Part of it fear of what was in the darkness below and deliberately not looking down as he kept up with me. The other part was pride that he was gradually managing to make his way along this time, pretty much on his own without having to hold onto me. The rest I sensed was him grateful I kept my word and pushed him when he needed it and I smiled a little.

When we caught up with Toland again, he was darting back and forth on another large floating rock. Cayde landed beside me and glanced over at me, actually smiling a little, as if to say: See? I did it! I reached over and gave his forearm a little squeeze and nodded then directed my attention to Toland who began speaking again. “The dreary plain, forlorn and wild, the seat of desolation, void of light! Ha! You walk blind above an abyss, full of trust for a friendly voice. You're playing right into her hands.”

“Her who?” I asked, but he didn’t answer, daring off again. 

We followed, leaping onto another rock floating near a massive black sun. “Leave the Dreaming City while you still can, dear squanderer,” Toland advised, and, as we leapt to join him on the next rock, we suddenly found ourselves back in the Dreaming City at the base of a set of stairs leading up to the smaller structure before the Watchtower. When I looked back, I saw we were just on the other side of the bridge. Cayde looked at the short distance from where we’d gone into the Ascendant Realm to where we were now, then looked at me as if in disbelief, shaking his head.

I sighed and reached over, giving his upper arm a loving caress. “I’m proud of you,” I softly told him, then headed for the stairs, not wanting to get too mushy right now, incase we found ourselves back in the Realm again. I felt the surge of confidence in him at my words though, and smiled to myself. I’d hug the hell out of him once this was over.

I heard a chittering gargle and looked up to see two Taken Thrall jerking and dashing back and forth toward me down the steps but, it’s what I saw in the air above and behind them that concerned me. “Cayde! Shrieker!” I called over my shoulder, then quickly shot both the Thrall and hurried to the side of the stairs behind a large wall of rock just as the Shrieker opened with a windy howl and began sending out balls of Void energy in our direction. I felt a bump against my back as Cayde skidded up behind me, leaning over my shoulder to peek around the corner, quickly yanking himself back to avoid getting hit. 

“There’s a Shrieker up there!” He said, playfully sounding scandalized by the very idea of it.

“No shit,” I chuckled over my shoulder at him. “Here,” I handed him my Sniper Rifle. “I’ll draw its fire, you shoot it.” I put a shield up for him, waiting for him to get the rifle balanced over the top of it. He gave me a nod when he was ready and I dashed out, bouncing and dodging the Void projectiles as Cayde took aim and fired. The Shrieker quickly switched to firing at him, so I pulled out my Scout Rifle and fired, getting it to focus back on me, giving Cayde a chance to get in another shot, taking it out. I gave him a thumbs up and he winked at me, shouldering the rifle just as a couple low moaning wails sounded at the top of the steps. Two large Hive Knights came trudging down, swords drawn.

“Oh, screw this,” I uttered, getting annoyed at all the obstacles, and pulled out my shotgun, walking up to them and firing, taking out the one in the front, before pumping the gun and firing at the second, their hard-shelled bodies crumpling into nothing and falling down the steps. 

“Damn …” Cayde uttered and hurried after me as I made my way further up, encountering another cloaked Taken Vex Minotaur guarding a second bridge. It charged toward me but I pumped the shotgun again and fired, knocking it back, where it fell, disappearing before it even hit the ground. I didn’t even stop walking, changing out the shotgun for my hand cannon, shooting a couple remaining Taken Thrall. 

“So, uuuh … When you really get mad … probably best just to get outta your way, huh?” Cayde asked, walking along beside me as we crossed the bridge.

“Oh, don’t act so surprised. You’ve seen me do that before. And you’re way more vicious than me when you get mad,” I said, amused. 

“Well, yeah, but I rarely see you get mad. Like, really mad. Kinda impressive when you do,” Cayde admitted. 

“That wasn’t really mad, sweetheart,” I told him, just as the tell-tale sound of more Taken spawning sounded up ahead. I sighed. “Right now, I’m not mad. I’m just annoyed. These Taken Thrall are a pain in the ass.” 

“My turn,” Cayde said, setting a hand only shoulder, stilling me, before he stepped forward and shot them, quicker than I was at following their movements. An Axion Dart bounced around in the air just behind them. 

“We got a Taken Centurion up ahead,” I told him, aiming at the Dart, shooting it before it got to him.

“Oooh! I don’t know why, but I find those guys so satisfying to take out!” Cayde said, almost gleefully, just as another Axion Dart appeared. He fired at it, making it explode, then bounced up and to the right, over a large boulder, firing at more Taken Thrall while quickly dodging another Dart, actually laughing as it missed him before I shot it. Making three knives suddenly appear, blades between his nimble fingers, Cayde quickly jerked his arm out toward the Centurion, flicking his wrist. The blades went flying, infighting mid-air, and hit the shield it had up, knocking it back and damaging it, leaving the Centurion wide open. Cayde leveled the Ace at its head and fired, the Centurion crying out and disappearing.

We went to what appeared to be the front gate to enter the Watchtower, but found it sealed and more Taken lurking on the other side, so we worked out way around, looking for another way in. Of course, we encountered several more Taken as we did, but actually started having fun taking them out, Cayde beginning to count off the ones he shot, teasing me he was getting more than I was before I pulled out the rocket launcher and took out a whole group in one go. 

The further along we went, the earth and grasses and even the rocks, gave way to what almost seemed like a massive geode of purplish-blue crystals, some of which jutted out of the walls, glowing in a strangely beautiful neon-blue. After clearing the Taken out of the way, I knelt down, looking at the crystal. “This is the same stone we saw in the Watchtower back on the Shore," I told Cayde. 

“No wonder it wasn’t found in any City records. It’s not from our known universe,” he said, crouching down beside me, running his fingers over the smoothed jutting edges. 

“That’s where you think we are? Some place like the Ascendant Realm? Another dimension?” I asked him, but I’d already thought the same thing.

“Sorta. Like a pocket dimension, I bet,” he nodded.

I shook my head, sighing. “Light, Darkness, Time, Dimensions, planets, aliens, Gods … And so many things all mingled in between …” I suddenly felt overwhelmed with everything. Suffocated. I wanted to sit down and just … curl up and pretend it was all simple again. That the things I’d gradually learned and the layers of existence and the universe I’d slowly peeled back … well, I was starting to wish I’d never learned or discovered so many things. So much to comprehend and accept - to readjust your very existence to.

I felt a hand on my forearm, giving it a squeeze, and gradually pulled myself out of my thoughts, hearing Cayde’s gentle but concerned voice. “Ais? Hey, you with me?” He gently asked.

I looked over at him and gave a quick nod, then stood. Now wasn’t the time to fall apart and let this sort of thing get to me. It was the reality. I had to accept it. Trying to pretend I didn’t know or that it wasn’t out there wouldn’t make it go away. It’d only make me ignorant of something I needed to be on top of. Needed to see and face. Even if it was hard and had elements about it that were difficult to comprehend. This was why we were here. The Traveler had chosen us because it believed we could bear this knowledge. So that was what I needed to do.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Cayde asked, stepping in front of me, gently stopping me form going anywhere. 

I looked at him. “You ever have one of those moments, in all your years, where pieces were slowly falling into place and it was all very overwhelming and almost to the point of wishing you didn’t know all you knew?”

He looked at me for a beat, then gave a little nod and moved to give me a hug but I took a step back and laid a loving hand on his cheek. “I love you, Little Firefly, so please don’t take that as a slight. It’s not you. Not at all. I just can’t right now. Not now,” I murmured, shaking my head. 

He lifted his hand to mine and pet it, nodding, and I knew he understood. 

I gave a single nod and checked my firearm before we continued on. The crystalline cave we were walking through opened up on one end, revealing a cliffside in the distance and the Watchtower sitting atop it, heavy fog laying in all around. When we turned to the left to go up another set of stairs, we saw Petra’s ship docked in an elaborate circular stone courtyard with a balcony and strange round stones with curious lines carved into them set into the ground. The doors of the structure beyond were just on the other side. More Taken began appearing as we got ascended, doing their best to attempt to stop us once again, sending a small Ogre which Cayde quickly dispatched. As we cleared the Taken out, I noticed, under the balcony, was a small cave, alit with what appeared to be giant starmaps built into the stone. I was curious to go in further and check them out, but Cayde let me know a couple Wizards had appeared and they were casting shadow Thrall at us. It eventually took two blasts from the rocket launcher to take them out but, once we had we checked out the cave under and atop the balcony. 

“These are like the maps we saw in the Watchtower,” Ghost said. “But the coordinates … don’t match anything in our system.”

I nodded. “Unknown space,” I murmured.

Cayde stood by me, looking at the maps, and I knew he was more than curious about them, but we needed to keep moving. After a few moments, he lightly touched my arm. “Come on,” he said, tilting his head toward the doors. “We gotta find Petra.”

The doors were made of hammered bronze-colored metal, with an intricate and beautiful design crafted into them. Activating the lock, it spun and four pinkish- purple lights lit up as the doors opened for us, revealing a massive ornate marble and gold interior with a giant armillary sphere hovering in the center over a shallow pit, soft purple mist rising up from it. Standing near the pit, by some kind of strange console, like the one that activated the portal back in the other Watchtower, stood Petra.

“Cousin, Cayde, you made it,” she greeted, looking up at us with a small wave of her hand. We made our way down to her, Ghost appearing and floating along with us, looking up and around at everything, the armillary sphere only seeming more grand and impressive as we came to stand just under it.

“What is this, P.V.?” Cayde quietly asked as he looked up at it, resting his hands on his hips.

“The Techeuns call it an Oracle Engine,” she explained to him. “They say Queen Mara used it to walk between realities. No one knew where she went, but they used the Oracle to learn from her while she was gone. Mara has told me it's much more than that … Perhaps you and I will see, someday.”

“So we are in a different dimension,” Cayde uttered, looking back up at the giant Engine, Ghost floating beside him, blinking once as he looked up at it, too.

“Yes,” Petra told him. “And I know what happened to Uldren,” she continued, her tone growing sombre. 

Cayde took his hands off his hips and stepped closer to me as he gave his full attention to her, Ghost coming over to hover between us. 

“I’ve seen the evil that we face,” she said, touching her fingers to the console - a digital design of three different sizes and versions of the armillary sphere swirling and spinning about on the screen. “I have to tell the Queen or we are lost.”

“Then she is alive?” I said.

Petra glanced over at me and gave a single nod. “I believe so. She had a plan. She always had a plan. Queen Mara does not fail.”

“And Uldren?” Cayde asked. “What happened that drove him batshit?”

“That’s a … colorful term for what happened, Cayde,” she said, then sighed and opened her mouth as if she were going to say something more, but stopped herself and redirected. “There is an immense creature at the heart of this place. Whatever it was that spoke to Uldren was not my queen. It was that thing. But I cannot say more about that. The Queen must be the first to know. I'm sorry, my friends.”

“Where is everyone?” Ghost asked.

“We evac'd just before the Taken War. Queen Mara ordered everything to be locked down. Then she and the Techeuns sealed off the Watchtower, and Mara made a deal with the Spider. Protect it, and she would turn a blind eye to his businesses. No one was supposed to come back here until everything was safe. You're lucky to see this place, you know. It's sacred. Outsiders are forbidden.”

I glanced at Cayde and saw his eyes darting back and forth a little as he laid out events over the past couple of years in his head, putting things together he already knew so they made more sense. 

"And this place, this city…?” Ghost pressed. 

“The Awoken built hidden cities like this throughout the Reef. In some, we live and raise our children. In others, we build our weapons. We train our armies — or we used to, when we had armies. Here, in the Dreaming City, we learn from greater powers. We meditate. We transcend. This is our most sacred place.” 

She glanced back at us. “Did you see the Queen's Techeuns?”

Cayde and I nodded. “We saw them just before the bridge before getting drop-kicked into he Ascendant Realm, “ he told her. 

“Mara's most trusted advisors — corrupted by the Taken,” Petra explained. “Those women raised me. If there's a way to save them, we must take it.”

Cayde and I both nodded and Petra stepped back from the console and moved around us, looking up at the giant Engine as the central sphere began to glow a brighter purple and spin, the golden rings twisting and aligning until the whole structure was a flat disk standing on its side and softly crackling with purple arcs of some strange energy. 

“Petra Venj,” Mara Sov’s calm, monotone voice greeted through the device.

Petra quickly took a knee, bowing before it. “Mara! You're - alive! I'm so - I mean - My Queen,” she said, quickly reigning in her familiarity and elation. 

“And I see you brought the Guardian and … Ah, yes. Cayde-6. Of course,” she uttered.

I glanced at Cayde who looked at me in return, arching an eyebrow at me and shrugging just a bit, as if she’d said something pointed, but he wasn’t any more sure of what it meant than I was.

“Yes, forgive me, Your Grace. But I have news. Your brother, Prince Uldren is -”

“Dead. I know.”

“Wait, what?” Cayde asked. He looked down at Petra, then up at the Oracle, then at me, clearly blindsided by the news, as was I.

“What do you mean he’s dead?” I asked, looking between Petra and the Oracle. “What happened?”

“A weak mind and will,” Mara said through the Oracle, sighing a little, almost sounding bored rather than saddened that her brother was gone. “He was no match for Riven.”

“Riven?” Ghost asked, but was ignored. 

“Yes, m’lady,” Petra quietly said, as if Cayde, myself, and Ghost were no longer there. “She, too, has been Taken, as have Kalli, Shuro, and Sedia.” 

“So many loved ones turned against us…” Mara quietly uttered. 

“Tell me what to do, my lady… Please,” Petra begged. 

“Assemble a team, Petra,” Mara told her, her voice growing louder, more forceful and commanding. “Send them into the heart of the City. Kill that creature and extract its heart. I offer the riches of our realm as bounty. Open the gates, and let the Guardians in. I must go. The battle rages on. If you have news, send it. I will answer as I am able. Stay strong, my Wrath. I believe in you.”

The communication through the Oracle Engine terminated and Petra stood, turning to face us.

Cayde had his arms crossed over his chest, looking at her. “Soooo … you wanna fill us in on what the hell happened?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More as soon as I can! Promise! :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alrighty, here's another cute and cuddly chapter I know you all love and enjoy. I had fun with this one. Got more in the works and hope to have it out soon! :)

“So, Savathûn _is_ behind the resurgence of Taken,” Ikora said as she, Zavala, Cayde, and myself stood together around the table in the private Vanguard conference room. 

“And she’s got a Taken Ahamkara,” Zavala lowly rumbled before sighing, fisted hands planted on the table top, holding his upper body up as he leaned over, deep in thought. 

“Not for long,” Cayde said. “Once Ais and I go in there, guns and fire blazin’ -”

“No,” Zavala uttered.

“Uuuh … ‘scuse me?” Cayde asked, blinking, looking over at Zavala in surprise, arching an eyebrow.

Zavala looked back at him and straightened himself. “You and Aislin are not going in against that thing.”

“Wha-” Cayde attempted, but Zavala gently stopped him, holding up a hand.

“As you know, the Ahamkara are shape-shifting, wish-granting creatures,” Zavala said. “They are clever and cunning with the desire and skill to bargain. Very effectively.”

I saw where this was going and had to admit, as much as I was curious to see this thing and put a stop to it, Zavala would be in the right here. I stayed quiet, but stepped a bit closer to Cayde and turned, leaning back against the table, partly sitting on it as Zavala continued. 

“You’re … in too vulnerable a state, Cayde,” Zavala said, his voice softer than normal, trying to tread carefully here. “She will sense that and take advantage of it. You could get-”

“Too vulnerable a - So … what you’re sayin’ is I’m a liability?” Cayde asked, crossing his arms over his chest and I sensed hurt and embarrassment, along with guilt and self-doubt.

I reached over and set my hand on his arm, getting him to look at me. “That’s not what Zavala’s saying, Cayde. He’s trying to protect you. To protect both of us. Our minds aren’t in the right state to go up against something like that after what we’ve been through.”

“Right,” Cayde flatly said, then looked back at Zavala. “ _We’re_ a liability?”

“No,” Zavala attempted, wincing, but Cayde scoffed and pulled away from me then turned, leaving the room.

“Cayde,” Ikora called after him, but he ignored her, the door closing behind him. She frowned and glanced at me, clearly concerned and a little sad.

I shook my head. Cayde wasn’t going to do anything rash, that I could tell. But he definitely needed some time before anyone would be able to talk to him, even me. Despite Zavala only meaning the best for him and for me, Cayde just didn’t take it well. To him, it had just sounded like he was a weak link. And I knew that had hurt. My saying Zavala was just trying to protect him likely didn’t help at all, either.

Zavala sighed. “I didn’t mean -” He shook his head and lightly slammed his fist down on the tabletop. “Even without the events in the prison, the risk is too great with his position as a Vanguard, as well,” he said but I could see it on his face and in his eyes. He would never be able to say it aloud, and was using the Vanguard position as a cover, but he was afraid. If something happened … I knew he couldn’t take the idea of losing Cayde again. 

None of us could. 

“I’ll talk to him,” I assured them with a nod then cleared my throat. “So, I take it, then, neither of you are going in on this one, either?” I asked. I had read about the Great Ahamkara Hunt. I knew Zavala and Ikora had been part of it. They’d faced these creatures before. As had Eris, Shaxx, Saladin, and a handful of others.

“No,” Ikora answered. “But we have a special team of Guardians who have been trained over the years for just such a situation.”

“You planned for it just incase you hadn’t got all of them,” I surmised and they both nodded. 

“You, and Cayde - if he … comes around … - will be in the briefing room monitoring the situation with us. We’ll also be requesting Shaxx and Saladin to join us as well.”

I nodded. 

“As for Uldren …” Ikora said. “It’s confirmed, then?”

“Yeah,” I sighed. “Petra showed us the surveillance video and Cayde and I saw his body.” I shook my head. “He went crazy. Whether it was Riven controlling him or him knowing she was in his head and he was trying to stop her … Either way. But Petra wants to keep it as if he died in the Taken War. I don’t see any reason why that can’t remain so. I can put it all in my report.”

“Very well,” Zavala nodded, straightening. “We’ll assemble the team and contact Petra. Once everything and everyone is ready, we’ll send them in.” He looked over at me and I saw his eyes saying what he couldn’t right now.

I nodded and left the room.

 

I had actually expected Cayde to go back to the apartment but Ghost and I found him in the Hanger at his work station, Colonel nearby, pecking away at her newly filled food bowl making soft clucking sounds. As we got closer, I noticed a couple newer Hunters coming in, going over to him and talking to him before Cayde handed them some sealed envelopes I knew contained reports with maps he’d drawn out. No doubt they were going off on a scouting mission. 

When they finished talking and the Hunters left, Ghost and I went over to him.

“I don’t wanna talk,” he said, not even turning around to look at me. 

“I said the wrong thing, didn’t I?” I gently asked. I hadn’t meant to. I thought I’d been helping him understand. I never thought he’d take it a completely different way than intended.

He sighed, hands planting on the worktable surface, head dropping forward. “No … Y-yes. No-look,” he said, turning, facing me. “I just … need some time to think.”

I nodded. I understood. I didn’t sense he was angry. Just frustrated and hurt and a few other uncomfortable feelings and I didn’t want to push him and make it worse. “Alright. I’ll give you some time,” I said, and made to leave, Ghost hesitantly following.

I heard a sigh over my shoulder. “Ais … wait …” I stopped and looked back at him.

He looked at me for a moment before glancing down at the metal floor, his eyes darting back and forth in thought. I patiently waited, sensing something coming from him, but I couldn’t really figure out what it was before he looked up at me and took my hand then tugged me over and up the stairs and around to the private spot we shared that overlooked the large opened hanger doors where the ships came through for maintenance.

When we got there, he turned and, before I could say anything, he set his finger over my lips and shook his head then motioned me to sit down in my usual spot against one of the storage crates. Once I did, and was comfortable, he sat down with me, scooting back between my legs and laid against my chest, pulling my arms around himself and resting his head back on my shoulder. He sighed and closed his eyes, clearly just needing quiet right now, but sitting like this seemed to help him settle some.

Ghost silently hovered nearby for a little while before finally settling on top of the crate watching the ships and maintenance crew come and go for a good long while before Cayde finally spoke. “Do you know how condescending it feels to be as old as I am and have someone tell you they’re trynna protect you from somethin’ like you’re a child and like you’ve never been up against the worst of the worst out there? Y’know how invalidating that feels?”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it that way,” I gently apologized.

Cayde shook his head. “No, no, baby. Not you. I know you were just interpreting. And I know Zavala didn’t intend it the way it sounded but … I’m not so much mad, Ais, as I am … embarrassed … and hurt.” He sighed and dropped his head back against my shoulder again, starring up at the ceiling. “When Andal d- … When Andal was … gone … I vowed to take his place. No matter what anyone thoughta me - and, believe me, I wasn’t thought much of - that was my vow to my brother. I would take up his cloak and stand where he couldn’t.” He blinked quite a few times and cleared his throat, swallowing before he could continue. “I took a lotta shit from people who thought and acted like they were better than me. Even Zavala. It took a helluva lot to prove myself here to shut them up and even then … Yeah, I joke around. I pretend like I don’t pay attention - okay, sometimes I don’t - but, for the most part, I really am payin’ attention and know what’s goin’ on, and I take this job seriously - even if it doesn’t always look like I do. I do. For Andal. I _know_ what I’m doing. It’s one thing when _you_ protect me. I ain’t got no problem with that. I know what you’re doin’ and what you’re feelin’ and why. But when it’s Zavala … even Ikora … I feel like … like they don’t think I’m capable. Like I’ll always be just this … placeholder for someone who was more deserving.”

I slowly rocked him for a moment as I took in everything he was saying and feeling before I spoke. “Can I … ask you something?” He was still for a moment, but eventually nodded and I chose my words as carefully as possible. “If Zavala - and Ikora - weren’t part of the Vanguard, if they were just your friends - your good friends - who, over the years, you’ve come to learn don’t see you as a placeholder or unworthy of your position, but genuinely care about you - love you, even - and are still afraid of losing you, cause they’re still shaken from the prison, would you have taken Zavala’s comment the same way? Would you have felt like he were being condescending and invalidating your abilities? Or would you have realized it was just his way of trying to tell you he is just trying to protect the man he has come to see as his brother?”

Cayde slowly looked at me and I noticed his features gradually shift as what I said suddenly sunk in. 

“He cares about you. And I know you know Ikora does, but Zavala is a hard one to read because of how limited he keeps his emotions. But whatever … animosity existed when you first stepped into the Hunter position … Sweetheart, that’s long gone. When I brought you back from the prison, he was truly shaken. He doesn’t see you as anyone beneath him. He looks up to you. He admires you. He may not say it, but I can see it. I know he does.”

Cayde blinked a few times then winced and sighed. “Oh, shit,” he whispered as he frowned, shoulders sagging. “So I just pretty much kicked him right in the gut, actin’ the way I did. And … on toppa that, my little tizzy just proved him right.” He groaned and dropped his head forward into his hands. “Shit, shit, shit.”

I rubbed his back. 

“I got bent outta shape for nothin’ … cause I’m vulnerable,” he uttered, suddenly angry with himself. He slammed his foot forward into a crate, making a loud banging echo in the space, a small wrench that had been left on top by the maintenance crew rattling and falling off, clattering down onto the metal grate.

“It’s okay,” I soothed.

“No it’s not,” he sighed. “I screwed up. I took it as a personal attack against my abilities instead of realizin’ …” He groaned again and grew restless. “Shit,” he muttered again. He lifted his head and looked around, like he was trying to figure out what to do, then finally looked at me. “Were they still in the room when you came to find me?”

I nodded.

He got up and helped me to my feet then hurried down the steps. I followed, Ghost floating along, as he moved quickly across the hanger and though the back of the Tower to the hallway that led to the meeting room. As soon as we got to the door, though, his urgency became anxiety and he hesitated. I stepped up beside him and slipped my hand into his. “I’m with you,” I softly said. He gave me a quick, curt nod, then tapped on the door.

“Yes?” Zavala asked.

Cayde opened the door and we saw Zavala and Ikora both standing by the table, computer monitors on as they were contacting the needed parties and setting up the raid on the Dreaming City. I noticed Zavala look at Cayde apologetically and Cayde cleared his throat, apprehension running wild within him. “C-can I … Can I talk to you?” He asked Zavala. “Alone?”

I glanced at Ikora who I noticed had a very faint, soft smile tug at the corner of her mouth, and walked around Zavala, setting a hand on his shoulder. As she neared us, I gave her a nod and encouragingly rubbed Cayde’s back. Ikora paused when she came up to us, setting a hand on Cayde’s arm, giving it a gentle squeeze before she stepped outside. “I won’t be far,” I told him, and kissed his cheek, then joined Ikora outside, giving Cayde and Zavala some privacy.

I stepped over to Ikora, who was standing by a long metal railing, looking out at the vast wilderness and mountains beyond, the early evening sun casting a soothing warm tone, despite the fall chill in the air. “This is new territory for him,” she quietly stated. 

I nodded as I leaned against the railing, looking out. “I can feel he likes the changes. They make him happy. They comfort him. But it’s still a struggle to realize he’s not as alone or unloved as he once thought.”

“Being afraid of losing people forces one to keep others at a distance,” Ikora nodded. “Even when, deep down, you want nothing more than to have them close.”

I smiled little. “He’s told you about those fears, hm?” 

“No,” Ikora said and glanced over at me as I did her. “He never had to. It was always obvious. It’s why Zavala and I were so surprised he’d suddenly grown close to you. Not that the surprise had anything to do with you in particular. Just that he’d grown as close as he had with anyone at all.”

I smiled a little then closed my eyes and cleared my throat as I felt my chest constrict a little, followed by the sudden sense of a release of emotion.

“Are you alright?” Ikora gently asked and I swallowed, taking a careful breath, nodding. Whatever Cayde and Zavala were talking about, something had struck Cayde hard. “Is it Cayde?” Ikora asked. I took another careful breath and nodded, looking out at the mountains. I knew he was okay. Just … they were having a moment. “Zavala once spoke of the bond he shared with Isabelle.” I looked over at her, noticing she was staring out at the mountains as well. “He said, at first, it was difficult. That it felt so strange to have that ebb and flow of emotions that weren’t your own touching the outer edge of your senses. But, when Isabelle had passed on … he said he wondered how he’d ever existed without it … and how would he ever be able to go on with that part of himself missing.”

“I don’t know how he does it. Even knowing it’s what she’d want and he’s doing it to honor her. The idea of losing Cayde before was …” I shook my head. “But now? If something ever happened to him? I’d just cease to be.”

“He’s part of you. As you are him. Your bond is unique … and special. Unlike any other known. I imagine it wouldn’t simply be like losing a part of your soul to lose him. But your very heart,” Ikora softly said, her tone understanding. 

I nodded then she stepped closer and redirected the conversation to something brighter. “What are your other plans for the bonding ceremony?”

I smiled. “Honestly? I don’t know. I don’t know much about them. Never even been to one, actually. But I was planning on asking Cayde about his thoughts tonight when we got home. Didn’t foresee dealing with an Ahamkara, though.”

She nodded. “Without a means of freeing Riven from her prison in the heart of the Dreaming City, the immediate threat is gone. The Raid is scheduled for tomorrow morning with everyone meeting here for a briefing before it happens. Might I suggest taking time with Cayde tonight? Redirect your attentions. You both have been though so much in such a short time. Highs. Lows. Everything in between. And while it is clear it has only drawn you closer, emotions are still high, as is evident with Cayde. Talking about the ceremony will be something special. Something positive.”

That was a good idea and, I had to admit, I was glad the immediate threat was gone and we could relax a little. 

 

Ikora and I stood together for quite a while after, just talking about random little things that eventually led into questions she had about the bond Cayde and I shared and how we were managing it when fighting off enemies. She seemed to take great delight and interest in learning that we could exchange our powers and actually laughed when I told her how wild and even a bit scary it looked to see a Hunter grin as he wielded a massive Sunbreaker hammer! She made me promise, at some point, Cayde and I would enter the Crucible so she could witness this!

Shortly after that, the door to the conference room opened and Zavala stepped out with Cayde, his arm around Cayde’s shoulders in a rare show of comforting affection. I had been sensing a lot of emotion from Cayde but, when I looked over at him, he looked just as calm and collected as ever, belying what was going on on the inside.

‘You okay?’ I silently mouthed to him, heading over, and he gave a quick little nod.

“I told Aislin about the briefing and Raid being scheduled for tomorrow,” Ikora said to Zavala before looking over at Cayde. When he locked eyes with her, she reached out and settled her hand on his cheek, giving it a tender caress. He responded by lifting his own hand to hers, petting the back of it and giving a nod, the two of them exchanging a silent conversation in a matter of moments. 

“Go home. Rest. We’ll be meeting back here at 7am.” Zavala said, his tone as soft and caring as it had been when I brought Cayde back from the Prison and when he spoke of Isabelle. Whatever they had talked about, it had warranted him dropping the rigidness and more severe curtness of his usual tone. 

Cayde stepped out of the embrace and over to me, slipping his arm around my lower back. He leaned into me, pressing his face to my cheek for a brief moment before giving me a kiss. I smiled and, after saying goodnight to Zavala and Ikora, we walked back to the apartment in comfortable silence.

When we got inside, Cayde started taking off his armor and hanging it up. All I could sense from his was … rawness. It was both a relief and a bit unsettling at the same time because I wasn’t sure if it was from an outpouring of emotion that had been good or if it was a result of that and now he felt stripped. 

When we both had our armor off and he just finished hanging up his cloak, I stepped up behind him and put my arms around him, easing him back against me. He sighed and immediately relaxed, hugging my arms to his chest. 

“I lost it,” he uttered, his voice sounding slightly metallic and gravely as he looked up at the ceiling.

I tilted my head, looking at him sideways.

“I tried so hard not to.” He shook his head. “But I couldn’t stop it. After you two left … I - I wanted ta say somethin’ but … I opened my mouth and nothin’ would come out. And he looked at me for a bit, waiting.” He shook his head again. “When he started walkin’ toward me, I felt it. It just forced it’s way up. And … the second Zavala was in fronta me … I … I just started bawlin’.”

I frowned and rubbed his upper arm and he shifted to the side a little and looked at me. I sensed he was okay, just … surprised? Maybe a bit shocked over it all. “You were right. He sees me like his brother. Just … trynna look out for me. Doesn’t wanna risk what happened at the prison again. Told me he knows I’m still not totally okay and … that that’s alright. Said he wasn’t gonna stop me from ever goin’ out. Just that he thinks this kinda thing would be too much right now. That you an’ I, we’d do better monitoring the situation with him an’ Ikora instead. And … he’s right. Just got so focused on hearin’ a damned insecurity I wasn’t hearin’ what he was really sayin’.”

I nodded and hugged him closer as he turned his head, nuzzling my cheek. “Thanks, Ais. I’dda been pissed off at nothin’ and acting like a damn jerk for no reason right now if you hadn’t made me see it right.”

“And Zavala would’ve understood,” I assured and kissed his cheek. “But you’re welcome.”

“You just know me too well.” He leaned his head back and looked at me. “Just like - soon as Zavala said somethin’ - you figured we’d never be able to fight Riven like this, huh?” 

I nodded. “We’d’ve totally kicked her ass, though. You know we would,” I smiled, giving him an affectionate squeeze.

“Well, yeah,” he said, as if it should be obvious, the teal plates of his cheeks moving up in a smile I was happy to see. 

I nodded. “But Zavala’s right. Physically we could do it - although I’m sure we’d need a team with us, based on what I’ve read about the Hunt. It’s not a question of that, though. It’s just too much right now with that type of creature. Besides, do you really want to do the paperwork after that?” I added, winking at him.

He snorted. 

I gave him a soft kiss. “Speaking of paperwork, why don’t you go take a nice hot shower while I type up a report and send it in so it’s ready for tomorrow - ”

“Don’t forget to add the Oryx stuff,” Cayde reminded.

“Oh, I’m not going to forget that. At least now the Ascendant Realm stuff in the Dreaming City makes more sense than that place being in and out of two realms.”

Cayde nodded. “I was really startin’ to wonder, myself. Course, it woulda helped if P.V. had explained that _before_ we went there, and her Royal Pain In The Ass hadn’t been so typically tight-lipped and told the Vanguard about Oryx sneakin’ in there in the first place.”

“Awoken, huh? We’re just jerks that way,” I joked and he chuckled. I gave him one more kiss then pet his bottom. “Go on. Go take a shower.”

 

While Cayde was in the bathroom I stripped out of my thermals and went to sit in the living room in just my underwear and a tank top, pulling up the console and typing up the report. Ghost hovered nearby, reading as I typed. “Cayde’s right,” he said. “It would have been much more helpful had Petra told us about the Taken corruption in the Dreaming City _before_ we got there. Especially since that corruption resulted in a Taken Ahamkara with Savathûn pulling the strings.”

I nodded. “Yeah, but there’s not point in being mad about it now. It is what it is. We just have to deal with it and hope for the best tomorrow.”

“When Toland said: ‘It’s a place of scheming queens and we were playing right into her hand,’ … What do you think he meant?” Ghost asked.

“Well, I wasn’t sure who the ‘queens’ were at first, but knowing Savathûn is behind the Taken, I’m assuming it's her and Mara. ‘Playing right into her hand’ … There’s three ‘hers’ at play here. And if we’re playing into the hand of any one of them, we’re gonna get bit, no matter what. The real question is, what happens if we don’t? A Taken Ahamkara let loose into this world would be disastrous. No question. What happens if we stop Riven? Do we open the door for something else? It’s a possible damned if we do, damned if we don’t scenario. If we don’t, then for sure, we’re screwed. If we do … well, then, maybe we’ve got a chance. And, like Cayde says, folding’s never an option.”

 

After I finished writing up the report and sending it in, I opened up the Tower business directory and put in an order for some ramen to be delivered just as I heard the bathroom door open. I finished confirming the order and paid for it as Cayde made his way into the living room, changed into his navy blue sleep pants and a soft beige cotton tunic. “Hey skimpy,” he greeted as he looked at me, noticing I was just sitting there in my underwear. 

I snorted but smiled as I smelled the warm air around him and the fresh musky citrus scent that lingered with it. “Feel better?” I asked.

“Mmm,” he nodded and sat down beside me. “Oooh! Did you order ramen?”

“I did,” I smiled and leaned over, giving him a kiss. “Should be here by the time I come out of the shower.” The door chimed then and I frowned. “Okay … that was … fast,” I uttered. No way could that be the ramen.

“I’ll get it,” Cayde said, petting my leg, getting back up and heading for the door.

“Delivery for Avalbane and Six,” I heard the service droid say. I leaned back into the couch as far as I could, seeing the droid standing on the other side of Cayde, holding what looked like a small box. Cayde pressed his thumb to the data pad the droid was carrying and it handed him the box before turning and leaving. As he closed the door, Cayde looked at the box, frowning, pulling a small note off the top of it, reading it. “Oh. It’s from Ikora. It’s that tea you were talkin’ about this morning.” He looked up at me. “Want me to make some while you’re in the shower?”

I got up and looked at it, then opened the box, sniffing the tea and shook my head. “This blend is to help us sleep. We’ll have it before bed. But, if you want, there’s a nice green tea in the cupboard. You could make that.”

“On it,” Cayde nodded and kissed my cheek. “Go shower.”

 

When I came out, dressed in my usual long sleeved, off the shoulder, loose black top and black leggings, I could smell the spices of the ramen in the air. I stepped around the corner to the kitchen just as Cayde was taking the bowls out of the bag. “Hey,” he greeted when he saw me. “Perfect timing.”

“Just showed up, huh?” I asked, going over to help.

“Yup,” he nodded and leaned over against me as I joined him, pulling out a tray from the island shelf to set the bowls on. I heard and felt him softly breathe in the air at the crook of my neck and I smiled. 

“Yesssss?” I asked and he chuckled, kissing my shoulder.

“What is that you always wear? I love it but realized I’ve never asked.”

“It’s a blend of oils I get from a little shop in the City. Violet, lilac, patchouli, oakmoss, labdanum, and clove.”

“Mmmm. Suits you,” he murmured.

I arched an eyebrow at him. “Are you in a mood?” I asked, smirking.

“Actually, no. Well, yes, but not _that_ mood,” he admitted. “Cuddly,” he said.

“Oh, I like when you’re in that mood,” I nodded. 

“Food first, then I’m all yours,” he nodded, giving me a kiss as he picked up the tray to carry. “Tea’s already on the coffee table.” He paused and frowned. “Tea. Coffee table. That sounds weird. Anyway …” he shrugged and headed for the living room.

I laughed and followed.

“So, what was this movie you said you found?” He asked as he set the tray down and sat on the couch. 

“Actually, before that,” I said, sitting down beside him, “there’s something we should talk about.”

“Oh?” He asked, handing me some chopsticks.

I nodded. “Bonding Ceremony.”

He looked at me and set his chopsticks down, giving me his full attention. “Everything okay?”

“Oh, yeah,” I assured. “Sorry, Didn’t mean to sound so serious.” I gestured to his bowl. “Eat. No, this is good stuff, nothing to worry about.”

“Oh! Oh, okay.” He picked up the bowl and started eating.

“So, I’m assuming, being the old man you are,” I gently teased. He bumped me with his shoulder and I almost spilled my soup. 

“Oh! Sorry! Sorry!” He apologized, snickering. 

I set the bowl down, laughing, unable to hold onto it properly. “Okay, don’t call you old,” I said.

“I’m sorry,” he apologized again, now laughing. “I didn’t mean to do that that hard!”

“Aaaaanyway,” I tried again, my cheeks actually hurting, I couldn’t stop grinning at how cutely funny that was. “Being the _young_ man that you are -” He snorted around a mouthful of noodles and I chuckled again. “I kind of assumed you’ve been to or at least know something about these ceremonies?”

He swallowed and made a throat-clearing sound and nodded. “Been to a few in my day, yeah. You never been to any?”

I shook my head. “I don’t even know anyone who’s married.”

“Oh. Well … there are different types but … can I tell ya the one that I always liked?”

“Of course,” I nodded, picking up my bowl, making a second attempt at eating.

“Well,” Cayde picked up his tea cup and sipped it, then set it down and carefully scooted back into the cushions, pulling his legs up, sitting criss-crossed beside me. “I never witnessed it cause I was just sorta a friend but not close friend so I was only at the party after but … There’s a bonding where,” he gestured between us, “the two getting hitched, they have a more intimate and private ceremony somewhere else, with only close family and friends. It’s done this way cause it tends to be very personal. Not meant to be showy or shared with people who aren’t close to ya.”

I nodded, following, and he continued.

“Durin’ the ceremony, bride and groom,” he said, motioning to me then himself, “join hands and a special handfasting ribbon - or cord, whichever is chosen - is wrapped around their wrists and hands, symbolizing their commitment to each other. They say their vows and the bond is sealed by an officiant. Rings can be exchanged, or not. Depends on what the couple want. But it’s meant to be very … special. And I just, uh … I always liked it cause it just seemed … ”

“Like the ribbon reflected the devotion you felt inside?” I offered. He nodded and I smiled, reaching over, lightly caressing his cheek with the backs of my fingers. “Is that what you’d like?”

“I would,” he nodded.

“Than that’s what we’ll do,” I smiled again, laying my head on his shoulder for a moment, in a soft show of affection, feeling an excited warmth spread all through him. He was such a sentimental romantic and I loved that about him. “Who would you like to stand with us?” I murmured.

“Zavala and Ikora,” he said, as if that should be obvious. “And Shiro and Amanda. Petra, too. If she’d like to be there.”

I nodded. They were the same choices I’d have made.

“And, um … if it’s okay and … since she knows the ceremonies and can perform them … I wanted to ask Ikora if she’d - if she’d be the one to officiate it.”

“Can’t think of anyone better,” I smiled.

He nodded. “Thank you,” he whispered, tingly and happy, bubbling with excitement inside, despite the calm exterior. “Now we just need to figure out where to have it,” he said.

“Already done,” I said.

“Oh? Where?” He asked.

“You trust me?” I asked.

“Silly question,” he murmured.

I smiled. “It’s a surprise.”

“You do realize, I’m the one you’re marryin’? Kinda need to know.”

I smirked. “Nope.” I lifted my head and looked at him. “All you have to do is get ready the day of. Everything else will be taken care of for you.”

“So, you didn’t know about the ceremony itself, but plotted and planned everything else?” He asked, arching an eyebrow at me.

I nodded.

“Aren’t we Hunters supposed to be the sneaky ones?”

“I picked up some bad habits,” I winked.

He chuckled and gave me a kiss. “Can I at least ask _when_ we’re gettin’ hitched?”

“I’ll let you know when I know.”

“You don’t know?” He asked, blinking.

“Just trust me, okay? It won’t be for a few months.”

“Months?!” Both his eyebrows rose. “Why months?”

I gave him a face like it should be obvious and he frowned. “Oh. Yeah. There-there’s a lot goin’ on that we should handle first so we aren’t worryin’ about it,” he said.

I nodded. “And we’re going to move into a new apartment soon and that’s going to be exhausting.”

Cayde made a face. “I feel weirdly domesticated for a Hunter and Guardian.”

I chuckled. “Believe me, I feel it, too,” I nodded. “But … it’s nice. I know we’re Guardians. We’re here to look after the last of humanity and push back the Darkness. But I want to live, too. With you. I don’t want it to go on as it had been before. Waking up, going out on missions and strikes, coming back, sleeping - when I could -, then getting up and doing all over again. I love … being with you. I love having you here to wake up to and being here at the end of the day. I love having someone to talk to. And share things with. Not being alone, feeling like …”

“Like you’re just a servant to a greater power?” Cayde carefully asked.

I looked over at him, realizing the connection we shared there, not just as Guardians, but that he was also referring to being a servant of Clovis-Bray. 

I nodded.

He took my bowl and set it down on the table with his then pulled me into his lap and snuggled me, pressing his face against the left side of my chest, his horn laying over my shoulder.

I kissed just beside his mohawk and stroked the back of his head with my fingers and felt him sigh, his warm breath passing though my shirt and ghosting overly skin. “I never realized how much I really wanted this until I had it,” he murmured. “I don’t want it to ever go back to the way it was, either. I wouldn’t be able to.” He lifted his head and looked up at me. “That ceremony, it’s just a formality. A beautiful and special one, don’t get me wrong. And I’m looking forward to it. But you know, the bond we share - the connection - I … I already feel like and see us as …”

“Married,” I nodded. “I know. I remember you asking me about it a few days ago.”

He nodded. “And you said you thought we were beyond that. Something more.”

“Yeah,” I murmured, my fingers trailing along the ridge and port at the back of his head. “You are my husband, Cayde. I think you have been for a long time.” 

His eyes closed for a moment at the sensation and he swallowed before looking up at me again. “And you’re my wife,” he murmured. “My Queen. You always were.”

I smiled, my eyes tearing a little.

He smiled back, then I noticed his eyebrows furrow as he looked at my forehead.

“What?” I asked.

He reached up and I felt his finger trace the U-shape of my tattoo and the two dots beside it before he placed his finger on his own forehead, tracing the U-shape just under his horn and the two rivets on either side, just above the ends of his eyebrows. He chuckled a little, shaking his head. “They’re almost the same,” he murmured. 

I leaned my head back a little, looking at his forehead, and realized he was right. I hadn’t ever noticed before but we shared a similar pattern. My smile broadened. I wasn’t sure if it was just a coincidence or if it had a genuine deeper meaning. I liked to think the latter but I really didn’t care. Either way, he was mine. 

 

We sat, cuddled up together for a while longer before I reluctantly but gently reminded that our noodles were getting cold and we separated just long enough to eat them before settling back into the couch in our usual way, Cayde leaning back against my chest. 

“So, wifey,” he affectionately teased, making me snort, “what’s this weird movie you said you found?”

“Well, hubby,” I teased back, making him laugh, “it’s an old one. Black and white. Was made before we even went to the moon for the first time.”

“Whoa, really?” He asked, glancing back at me over his shoulder. 

I nodded. “1954,” I told him.

“What’s it called?”

“Them,” I said.

“Them?” 

I nodded. “It’s about nuclear radiation mutating ants into giant man-eating creatures.”

“Huh. Even back then big bugs were out to get us,” Cayde observed.

I chuckled.

“Okay, I’m curious,” he nodded and settled back as I turned on the monitor and opened the file starting the film.

We sat, cuddled up together and watched. Part way through, I noticed Cayde had settled my hand over his heart and was idly caressing the back of it, eyes on the screen as a giant ant tried to cut a soldier in half with its mandibles. I kissed his temple and felt him wiggle a little in contentment. “You know,” he said, “it’s so obvious those ants are fake, but it’s still creepy.”

I smirked. “Maybe I should show you the Night of the Living Dead film, then?” I offered.

“The what?” He asked, blinking.

“Oh, yeah, it’s another black and white like this, where zombies come out of the graves and eat people,” I told him, sounding ominous as I did. 

He looked horrified. “Cool,” he uttered.

I laughed. 

“Can we watch it after this?” He asked.

“Sure,” I nodded. We had time. “I’ll make us the tea Ikora gave us, too.”

 

“Ooookay, so … you’re gonna check under the bed and in the closet, right?” Cayde joked as we put our teacups in the sink.

“Why? Afraid the zombies are gonna get you?” I playfully asked, wiggling my fingers over his back.

“Ahh! Don’t do that!” He chuckled, then turned and put his arms around me and kissed me before we headed for the bedroom.

“They’re coming for you, Barbara,” I teased again, pinching his bottom. He yelped and bounced a couple steps ahead, slapping at my hand, laughing. 

“You’re enjoying this way too much!” He said.

“Yes, I am,” I grinned. 

He grabbed me and carefully shoved me back onto the bed then crawled up beside me, snuggling against my side, hugging me as he sighed and closed his eyes. “The zombies come for us, I’m tossin’ you to ‘em and makin’ a break for it.”

“Well, logically, shouldn’t I toss _you_ to them? I mean, you’d be kind of hard to chew on,” I pointed out.

He was still and quiet for a bit in response, then started tickling my sides mercilessly, making me laugh so hard I could barely breathe!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Somehow, Cayde and Ais with old Earth films just makes for a fun night. :) Hope you all liked that one. I'll have another chapter out ASAP!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG, sorry everyone! St. Patrick's Day, birthday stuff, home renovation, and other random stuff slowed me down getting this chapter out. But here's chapter five. FINALLY! :) . Hope you enjoy and I'll do my best to get the next one out faster!

Cayde and I laid facing each other, our legs lovingly crossed over each others under the covers, our hands on the pillows, his resting in mine as he idly played with my fingers. The tea Ikora had given us had helped us relax but neither one of us seemed too eager to go to sleep, so we ended up snuggling for a while and quietly talking.

“So who do you think you were?” He murmured and I noticed his eyes were focused on our hands as he moved his thumb along the ridge of one of my nails, as if fascinated by it in some way. 

“Do you mean what I did? Or just as a person in general?” I quietly asked. 

“In general,” he answered, eyes still focused on our hands. 

I smiled a little. “Why do you ask?” He knew I had no memories, like many other Guardians.

He shrugged. “You just seem to have a clear understanding of things in a way I ain’t never known any others to have. New Guardians, I mean. Well, even some older ones.” His eyes shifted and he looked past our hands at me. “Look how well and fast ya figured me out.”

I smirked. “That’s different,” I said. “I love you. I care about you. Learning about you and understanding you is important to me.” I felt his legs gently squeeze around mine in a little show of affection and I reached over with my free hand and stroked his cheek. “In answer to your question, though, I have no idea, sweetheart.” I frowned. “I just remember what I told you about waking up in the Cosmodrome. But that’s it. Whoever - whatever - I was before …” I shook my head. “No idea.” I gave his hand a squeeze. “Doesn’t matter to me anyway. Who I was is gone. I am who I am now and right where I want to be. With you.”

He shifted as close to me as he could and pressed his forehead to mine, closing his eyes. I put my free arm around him and pulled him against me, holding him, caressing his back. “Are you okay?” I murmured. I’d been getting this ebbing sensation from him for a while now. Like he just had this aching need to be close to me.

“I’m okay,” he whispered. 

“What is it, then?” I gently asked. “You can tell me.”

He softly chuckled a little, but didn’t move or open his eyes, he just stayed pressed against me. “I know. I don’t know how to describe it. I think … when we were talkin’ about the bonding ceremony … think it just made me … sentimental - more sentimental. But … I don’t know.”

Ah. So that’s what triggered it.

He took a slow, deep breath, letting it out. “Trynna … make something outta stuff that … maybe there’s nothing to make out of it. Just … me wonderin’ … how a guy like me got so lucky for once. Wonderin’ what it really is about me someone like you sees that I don’t. What- what’s so special about me, Ais? I mean … I’mma guy who … doesn’t have the best past … can be a total pain in the ass, drinks, gambles, has debts that go back … w-well, a long way, I’m cocky, smart-mouthed, annoying sometimes, and I-”

I gently stopped him, setting my fingers over his lips. “Shhhhh,” I soothed, then stroked his cheek. “You’re focusing on things you see are faults. When I look at you, I see a good man, Cayde. I see a man who’s honorable and loyal. A man who cares and loves with all his heart. Who may not always follow the rules, but who knows the difference between right and wrong and does right. I see a man who fights for what he believes in and is willing to make the hard choices and sacrifices as long as he knows something good will come of them.” I moved my hand from his and cupped his cheeks, lovingly caressing just under his eyes with the pads of my thumbs. “I see a man who makes me want to be the absolute best I can be. Who gives me strength and courage to face the worst out there. A man I will fight for and give all I have for, but who I would never die for because, even though I’m willing to give my Light for him, I know, to leave him would break his heart and I would _never_ hurt him.” I felt his hands go around my wrists and hold onto them as I softly kissed his lips, tasting the slightly salty wetness of the tears I now realized were dripping down, unchecked, over his face plates. “You are my very Light, Cayde. My heart. The air I breathe. You always were and always will be. Even long after time itself ceases to be.”

I saw him shake his head a little then the light of his eyes disappeared as he closed them before pressing his face into my shoulder, quietly sobbing, holding onto me as I held onto him. 

I knew they were good tears. I knew he felt good and happy and so very loved. And that was just the thing. He’d never known this kind of love. 

It was unconditional. 

It didn’t matter who he’d been, what he might have done, or even that he wasn’t in his original body. Even if it ever came to light in some way of who he really was, he knew I’d love him no matter what. That he’d never be alone ever again. 

That was my promise to him.

 

We didn’t say anything to each other for a while, and we didn’t have to. We just stayed cuddled together in comfortable silence, the warmth and affection of us holding onto each other saying so much more than words. I got the sense that Cayde wanted to hold onto me as long as he possibly could.

“You okay?” I finally murmured, breaking the silence as I caressed the back of his neck.

He nodded. “For the first time in a long time, yeah, I think I am,” he quietly said. He lifted his head and looked at me. “Ais, I …” He shook his head and stared at me for a few beats, then abruptly kissed me, almost needfully, moaning a little, his hands lovingly holding my face, his thumbs brushing against my cheeks. I closed my eyes and savored it, moaning back. When he gently ended it, he pressed his forehead to mine and nuzzled me. “I love you,” he whispered. “I love you, I love you, I love you,” he murmured over and over, then kissed me again, sighing into my mouth as he pulled me tight against him. 

He was all passion and fire - heated kisses and loving caresses as we eventually abandoned our clothes. He made me gasp and writhe in ways he never had before! I became so lost in his touches and soft caresses, I barely realized he’d rolled me over on my stomach until I felt his warm weight on top of me, laying against my back as I savored his tender kisses along the crux of my neck and shoulder.

This time, he didn’t ask or look to me to see if it was okay, he just knew how much I wanted him and eased inside me with a low, rumbling moan before letting out a shuddering sigh. “Ais …” 

In response, I groaned and pushed up into him. He whimpered and slipped his left hand under my arm, laying it on top of mine as he laced our fingers together. With each slow, lightly trembling thrust he’d squeeze my hand and I tightened my fingers around his in reply, softly crying out at the feeling of his rhythmic moving, pushing himself a little deeper each time as my body gradually yielded to him. I actually bit at the comforter and moaned, feeling like I was on fire, swelling and throbbing all around him as he gradually started moving a little faster, each new push of his hips a little more forceful. 

He had never been quite this confident before; quite this dominant, and ooooh, it felt so good! I could feel desire just rolling off him in waves as he brought his lips to my ear and lowly growled with need, his thrusts growing stronger. I held my bottom lip between my teeth, savoring the slow building climax as I felt his whole body moving against my back. He let go of my hand and I felt his slide down my side, lightly stroking my hip before he worked his hand under me. His fingers were suddenly on me and I gasped, eyes going wide as I moved my legs further apart for him. “Cayde …”

I couldn’t believe my words had drawn this side of him out. I didn’t even realize this side of him really existed, he’d kept it so well hidden! I was so impressed and so turned on, I could barely contain myself! I heard him hiss as I squeezed around him, pressing my face into the comforter, fisting it as I trembled. “Cayde, I … Ooooh …” So close. I was so close! The way he was moving was driving me wild! I pushed back up into him, practically lifting him up. He grunted and rocked into me harder and faster, panting hard, working his fingers just right. Ooooh, Traveler, he was a fast learner! 

“Come for me, Ais,” he panted. “Please? I wanna feel it.”

I would do anything for him. So, when he asked, I gave in, relaxing as he fully took me, sending me toppling over the edge into pure bliss so intense it was almost painful. I cried out just as I heard him make a strangled cry of his own, followed by a shuddering gasp. He pushed down into me, hard, his forehead dropping to the back of my shoulder as he trembled, panting, his rocking gradually slowing, before he went still. 

Panting, myself, I managed to look over my shoulder at him, completely stunned. He had never done that before; never been like that before. And I had _loved_ it!

He lifted his head and looked at me, catching his breath, and I softly smiled. He smiled right back and kissed me, then carefully eased off me, flopping down on his stomach beside me, eyes now closed as he took a deep breath and let it out, relaxing. I settled my hand on top of his this time, lacing our fingers back together. He opened his eyes and looked at me, his optics holding an almost dreamy quality about them. 

“Where did that come from?” I murmured, then grinned. I was so impressed!

He lowly chuckled. “Oh … I still got a few cards up my sleeve.” He shifted closer to me, pressing his side to mine, keeping our fingers joined, and kissed my lips. “What ya said, though … Ais … I ain’t never felt so good. So … so loved,” he whispered.

“I meant every word,” I told him.

He nodded and squeezed my fingers. “I know ya did. That’s what made it feel so good to hear.”

I smiled and tenderly kissed his lips one more time, then settled my head down with his, the tip of my nose just lightly touching where his was. He gave my fingers one more squeeze then the two of us, exhausted, slowly drifted off into one of the most relaxing, nightmare-free sleeps we’d had in a long time.

 

It was around 6:30am and the Vanguard Briefing Room was already buzzing with monitors, equipment, and civilian assistants and technicians helping set everything up for the upcoming Raid. Amidst all the buzz, though, there was an unmistakable sound that was cheery in the otherwise serious atmosphere.

“Cayde …” Zavala lowly said, glancing up from his monitor.

“Hmmm? Yeah, Zavala?” Cayde absently asked, Ghost hovering by his head. He didn’t even look up as he punched in a command on the screen in front of him with his finger.

“You’re humming,” Zavala flatly noted.

That made Cayde glance up. “Am I?” He asked, as if he clearly knew he was.

“Yes,” Zavala replied. I smirked from where I was, sitting in a chair nearby, looking over some notes on another monitor and sipping from a hot cup of coffee. To say Cayde was in a good mood was an understatement. I was, too. Last night had been incredible and we’d woken up feeling just as wonderful!

“You’ll be amazed what a good nights sleep will do,” Cayde said, going back to whatever it was he was doing on the computer. “Thank you for that, by the way,” he said, glancing up at Ikora who stood across the table from him.

“The tea helped then?” Ikora asked, sounding pleased.

“Oh yeah,” Cayde nodded. “The tea helped.” He then glanced over at me and winked. 

I paused mid-sip of my coffee and winked back at him, then set my cup down just as my comm-link dinged. I glanced at the data pad beside me. “Petra’s here,” I said.

“Ah, good. I’ll go bring her in,” Cayde said and disappeared out the door, Ghost following. I couldn’t help but smile at the way Ghost was spending more time with Cayde.

“Did the tea really help?” Ikora asked once Cayde was gone.

I sipped more of my coffee, arching an eyebrow at her, smirking a little over the rim of the cup.

Ikora smirked back and resumed working on her tablet.

“That explains the humming,” Zavala muttered.

I snorted. 

When Cayde returned, not only was Petra with him, but so was Shaxx who we all heard coming down the hall well before reaching the doors, vigorously bellowing: “There would have been a time for such a word. Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow creeps in this petty pace from day to day to the last syllable of recorded time. And all our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle. Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player that struts and frets his hour upon the stage, and then is heard no more. It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.” Shaxx then cleared his throat and actually softened his usually very loud voice. “You’ll tell her that, won’t you?” He asked Petra.

Petra softly smiled and nodded. 

“You’ve got all that, then?” Shaxx asked her. 

Petra nodded again. “Every word. I know it well. It’s … a favorite of my Queen.”

Shaxx seemed to stand a bit taller, perhaps smiling under that famous helmet of his, and gave a nod. 

Cayde glanced over at me like he was completely lost, although I knew he knew of Shaxx’s fondness for the Queen. I smiled. “It’s Shakespeare,” I told him.

“Well, yeah, I now that,” Cayde said. “Everyone in the Tower knows that thanks to Shaxx.”

“Feh! Illiterate fool!” Shaxx said to Cayde, although the ‘illiterate fool’ wasn’t said in such a way to hurt Cayde’s feelings. He then curled his left arm up, as if flexing it, hand fisted as he made a grand proclamation. “Shakespeare was a true Master of the word! Able to speak of the mundane with such beauty, in pages upon pages of intricate detail, yet grasp the infinite depths of love and devotion in but a single line!”

“Uuuuh …” Cayde looked helpless. 

I smiled. “The quote Shaxx was saying to Petra is from the Tragedy, MacBeth,” I gently told Cayde. “It’s MacBeth speaking of how his wife’s death has undone him and there is no meaning to life. We’re but players on a stage and our story told by a fool, all sound and fury but signifying nothing.”

“Well that’s … depressing,” Cayde frowned. “Least the stuff I read has a happy ending.”

“The stuff you read belongs hanging from a hook in the seediest pub of the Sol System, to be torn and flushed away with the rest of the foul excrements from the back ends of the lingering dregs of what remains of society,” Shaxx eloquently stated.

“Sooooo … what you’re really sayin’ is my stuff is toilet paper?” Cayde asked.

“Less than,” Shaxx replied.

“Ouch. Shaxx, buddy, I’m wounded,” Cayde said, laying a hand over his heart as he dramatically stumbled back against the table. 

“You’ll get over it,” Shaxx told him. 

I snorted, hearing Zavala sigh and Ikora lowly chuckle. “Can we get to the task at hand, people?” Zavala asked, but not without a hint of amusement in his voice.

“Ah, yes! A new epic battle with a mighty beast!” Shaxx said, sounding excited. 

 

Saladin arrived about a half hour later, bringing with him the group of six Guardians Ikora and Zavala had spoken of. Over the years, they had studied every aspect of Ahamkaras known to history and from the encounters recorded by all members of the Great Hunt. There were two Warlocks, two Hunters, and two Titans, all masked and in matching heavy black armor with iridescent markings and patterns weaved throughout, giving all of them both an intimidating yet beautiful look.

While there was obvious tension between Shaxx and Saladin as soon as the two locked eyes, both were somewhat professional and focused on the task at hand, until Saladin made a comment about all Guardians being free to use their own judgement unless the situation became dire, in which case, they were to obey the orders of their Commanders, glancing over at Shaxx. Of course, Shaxx countered that, explaining that, if the orders were ‘foolhardy’ and it would be a greater detriment to abandon the mission, then they should ‘stay the course’. Then Zavala chimed in, pointing out how the Guardians were all well trained and would know what to do. Cayde sighed as the bickering started turning into outright arguing. “Well, here we go,” he muttered, flopping down in the chair beside me, actually propping his feet up on the table and sitting back, looking bored. 

I glanced over at the six Guardians, noticing them looking back and forth at each other in seeming confusion. Petra, meanwhile, sighed, shaking her head. When she glanced over at me, I gave her a motion to take the Guardians outside while Ikora attempted to stop the arguing, only getting wrapped up into it, despite her best intentions and remaining calm. 

Once the door had closed behind Petra, I slammed my fist down on the tabletop so hard, it dented the metal, rattling all the computers and tablets set up around the surface. Cayde actually jumped a little in his seat, pulling his feet off the table, and the room went quiet in the wake of the startling crash of my fist. Three sets of eyes and the flat front of Shaxx's helmet turned toward me from the other side of the table. “Enough,” I lowly stated as I stood, planting my hands on the table as I glowered at the three men. I noticed Ikora arching an eyebrow at me as Zavala and Saladin gave me mixed looks of both shock and slight indignation. “The three of you are supposed to be experienced Titans. Two Lords and a Commander. Yet here you stand, in front of the Guardians you’re supposed to be leading by confident example, on a mission they could very well not come back from, bickering with each other like petty schoolboys over something that happened a few hundred years ago. How are they supposed to handle going into this knowing the people who should be leading them confidently can’t even conduct themselves as a single agreeable unit they can count on for advice and guidance when shit goes sideways in there? Each one of you has guided me through some form of literal Hell and it’s because of that guidance I walked out the other side of it. Right now, the three men in front of me are not those men. These Guardians need the men that helped me and more. So whatever issues you have, work them the fuck out later and be who you _need_ to be _now_.” 

I was practically shaking by the time I’d finished speaking, knowing full well who I was berating. But I knew they were better than this and seeing Petra’s look of disappointment in the Guardians she was looking to for help saving her very home … It made me snap.

I backed away from the table, the three of them, and even Ikora, still looking at me shocked. I left the room, a mix of both proud of myself for taking a stand, but really worried I WAY overstepped and they’d kill me.

About ten minutes later, I was still standing by the railing at the open back of the Tower, leaning over it, looking out at the mountains beyond, and thinking the longer no one came out to get me, the more likely I was in worse trouble than I thought. Was it worth it? I thought so. They really had been a bunch of stubborn men with pride issues they needed to put aside right now. 

Titans.

We were stubborn pains in the ass sometimes.

I rubbed at my temples as I heard footsteps coming up behind me, knowing it was Cayde. “How dead am I?” I muttered, not even looking over my shoulder. 

I felt him slip his arms around me from behind and gently settle his chin on my shoulder. “You’re not dead,” he murmured. “In fact, I think Shaxx said you have serious balls and true Titan spirit.”

I frowned and tilted my head to the side, looking at him oddly. “What?” 

“W-well, he said it in a more …. fancy, Shaxx-y way. But that was kinda the gist, I think,” Cayde said. I snorted. “Then Saladin said somethin’ about that bein’ the fire of a true Iron Lord and complimenting Zavala on mentoring you right. And then Zavala - ever the man of many words - said,” he cleared his throat to make the deep Zavala-voice I’d heard him use before. “‘Indeed’.” I laughed and he snickered and hugged me. “And Ikora, she just had that look. You know the one I’m talkin’ about.” 

I nodded.

“So, yeah. I don’t think you’re dead,” he reassured me. “Now, as for me … Wow. I’ve seen you get mad before but never quite like that. Where’d that come from?”

I sighed. “I saw the disappointment on Petra’s face. She’s asking for help saving her home. I mean, yeah, we can’t let Riven get loose or we’re all in trouble. But the Dreaming City’s her home. She came to us for help. And they were more interested in arguing over Shaxx disobeying an order from Saladin centuries ago? Which resulted in a win, so who the hell cares? Either argue about it later or let it go. Damn Titan pride. But even the guardians brought in for this job were looking at each other like this was nuts. Someone had to talk sense into them.”

“You sure you’re a Titan?” Cayde asked. “You really have the sense of a Warlock. Er … Don’t- don’t tell Ikora I said that.”

I lightly chuckled and shook my head. 

“Seriously, though,” Cayde said, and I could tell he was genuinely being serious this time. “You did real good. Impressed the hell outta me, I know that.”

I took a breath and leaned back into his chest, petting his arms. I’d been so lost in the moment back there, I hadn’t registered what Cayde had been feeling until now. He really was impressed. 

I couldn’t help but smile a little. 

I liked impressing him. I felt like I was making him proud.

“You also left a really big dent in the table,” Cayde added, then moved his arm and took my right hand in his, looking at it. He shook his head. “Still amazes me. Think it always will,” he murmured, caressing my hand before I closed my fingers around his.

I caught the soft light of Ghost’s shell out the corner of my eye as he came floating over to us. “I think things have died down enough to go back in now. The other Guardians and Petra have returned to the room.”

Cayde eased my hand back and kissed it. “You were in the right. Don’t be anxious,” he murmured, sensing how I was feeling.

“I still feel like I did something wrong somehow.”

Cayde shook his head. “Nope. They needed someone to get them focused. You did that.”

“They try to stomp me, I’m throwing you in front of them,” I told him.

“What?! You would never!” 

I sighed. “You’re right,” I said, softly caressing his chin. “You’re far too cute to let get stomped.” I kissed his cheek.

He softly chuckled and led me back to the briefing room with Ghost.

When we got back, Zavala was already addressing Petra and the Guardians, apologizing on behalf of all three of them for the argument, Saladin and Shaxx standing off to his side and slightly back, looking slightly chastened. 

Ooooh, that wasn’t from me. Ikora had laid into them, too. 

I noticed Zavala glance at me as Cayde and I entered the room, giving me a slight nod. I nodded back and Cayde and I stood at the back with Ghost, leaning against the wall while Zavala continued the apology, then moved onto the actual briefing, discussing the plan before he stepped aside for Petra. Once she had the floor, Petra briefed the Guardians on the Dreaming City, the Techeuns Kalli and Shuro-Chi, and, lastly, Riven. She expressed the need to save the two Techeuns if it were at all possible.

“Wishing you could go in there with ‘em?” Cayde quietly asked me while Petra continued to brief the Guardians.

I shook my head. “Honestly, no. I’ve battled enough monsters and Gods over the last few years. Sitting one out this go, especially right now, sounds kind of nice.” He put his arm around me and gave me a bit of a squeeze and I smiled at him.

 

When the briefing was over and the Fireteam was filing out to head to their ships, Zavala came over to us. “You continue to surprise,” he said, watching the Guardians. 

“I realize there’s a history with the three of you and the Battle of Twilight Gap. And I’m sorry to have yelled at all of you but I saw the reactions of the Fireteam and Petra. It wasn’t good and I knew it wasn’t going to help to see the three of you arguing.”

He nodded. “Agreed. You … spoke up when it was needed and were … correct.”

I smirked. “Ikora made you say that, didn’t she?”

“Yes.”

My smirk broadened into a full out smile. “Shaxx and Saladin look like they got laid into, too.”

“Very much so,” Zavala nodded. “As a Titan, you know, sometimes our … pride … gets the better of us. They apologize as well. They’re just too stubborn to come over and say it right now.”

“Because they were told to, weren’t they?” I asked, feeling a smile tug at my lips again.

He nodded.

I glanced over at him. “I get it. I do. But that battle was long ago. The City was saved. You won. Shouldn’t the more important thing be that the City was saved and not some petty argument over Shaxx disobeying an order? Especially now?”

“You would make a good Commander someday,” Zavala remarked and I felt a warm sense of pride for me wash over Cayde.

“Thank you. But my place is being able to venture outside these walls. It’s not just me, now,” I gently pointed out and noticed Cayde arch a curious eyebrow at the consideration, like he was surprised if I was ever officially offered such a position, I’d turn it down all for him. But it was true. I’d never confine Cayde to the Tower more so than he already was. It wouldn’t be fair or right and, honestly, I liked being able to go out there and see the other worlds. I had a bit of Hunter in me as well as Warlock. It was just that the Titan qualities were the strongest. 

Zavala looked over at me and at Cayde. He actually smiled a little. “We’ll discuss it later. Meantime, let’s get ready. It’s going to be a long and trying day.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed that one! More as soon as I can! :)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter out faster than the last! LOL!  
> I took this in a different direction than I had planned but I'm glad I did. After two previous attempts at actually writing out the Raid, I realized it wasn't flowing properly. That's when I realized it wasn't the Raid that needed to be written but the after. If you're here reading this, you all know the Raid and what happened so it seemed like a waste of a chapter to write it. What was more interesting - at least I thought - were the things with Cayde and Aislin after, as well as with some other characters. So here's Chapter 6 and I hope you enjoy! More to come soon! <3

Long and trying.

It didn’t even begin to cover it.

I also had to admit I never fully appreciated Cayde’s, Zavala’s, and Ikora’s roles as Vanguards as much as I did after that Raid. While watching the Fireteam battle with the Queen’s Taken Techeun’s and Riven, I was seeing, first hand, the stress they went through. It never once showed in their voices, though. They only ever portrayed being steadfast and sure over the comms when speaking to the Fireteam. But when I was standing here with them, I saw the worry on their faces and the ways they expressed it in their body language. I saw the concern they had for each member of that team.

It made me look at some of those nights in the Hanger with Cayde in a whole new way. Some of those nights, sitting there, looking out at the City, the mountains, the stars beyond … sharing bowls of ramen and hot cups of coffee … he was de-stressing. And he never told me that was what he was doing because he never had told me just how stressful it was. I knew it wasn’t an easy job. That was obvious. And I knew he was relaxing after a hard day. I just didn’t really grasp how hard it was until now. Emotionally. I was guessing he hadn’t said anything, either, because he was trying to keep up the confident illusion for me. That way, when I was out there, I wouldn’t be able to picture him or the others in any other way but confident and sure when I really needed them to be.

I wanted to hug him so tight in that moment. Throughout the whole day, actually. All of them. Standing here, watching them, listening to them … I found myself stepping back sometimes and just admiring them anew. Even Petra. As I looked around the room, the technicians and assistants included, I realized, despite my experiences out there, I was the youngest person in the room. 

It was funny but, somehow, that made me feel like a fraud. Like someone who hadn’t really earned my place here in some way. And, when I watched the Fireteam give all they had to stopping the corrupted Techeuns, saving them, then turned to fighting and ultimately defeating Riven, cleansing her heart; when I listened to the cheers around the room, it was like I was watching something outside of myself. 

I couldn’t really explain it better than that. 

I hadn’t even really done much, outside of watching and listening. The only time I really interacted was when the Fireteam got transported to the Ascendant Realm and I guided them on how to get out, to make sure they didn’t get near the Centurions but fire at them before reaching them, and make sure they didn’t drop off the edges. It was something, sure, but nothing like what the others were doing. They were fully engaged the whole time, the rest of the world and everything else having fallen away as they focused on the Raid.

It was a relief it was over, though. I saw gratitude wash over Petra, heard the pride in Zavala’s voice as he remarked on a job well done by everyone. I saw a very faint and sage smile tug at Ikora’s lips and heard a bellowing cheer from Shaxx. Saladin stood a bit taller and gave a nod, speaking of brave warriors being marked in history, and Cayde just acted in his usual all confident way, stating how he knew the whole time that they could do it, leaning back against the table like he wasn’t the least bit worried at any point, then winked at Petra reassuringly. 

I smiled at it all. It was definitely cause for celebration. While there was still much to do and enemies to fight, this was a victory. We saved the Techeuns, Riven’s heart was cleansed of the Taken corruption, and all the Guardians who went in were coming home. All of them.

Arms were suddenly around me form the side and I startled a little, pulled out of my thoughts by Cayde. “And this one here!” He said, lifting his arm up and pointing a finger down over my head. “Not bad for her first time workin’ behind the scenes, am I right?” He asked, giving me a squeeze as the room clapped. I suddenly realized everyone had been continuously clapping and patting each other on the backs in a show of a job well executed, and now the attention was focused on me.

I didn’t know what to do or what to say, so I just smiled a little then felt Cayde kiss my cheek just next to my ear, not even bothering to be discrete in shows of public affection anymore. “Let’s go outside, hm?” He murmured then led me out of the room, making a little motion to Ikora and Zavala that I didn’t understand before they both nodded back at him.

Once the door closed behind us, I looked over at Cayde as he put his arm back around me and gently guided me to walk with him down the hallway, his pace slow and leisurely. “Y’know, the first time I stood in on one-a those, it was intimidating,” he said, then glanced at me, smirking a little. “Yeah, I know. The Great Cayde-6, intimidated by a bunch  bureaucrats,” he said, sounding as if the very idea was beyond silly. I smiled and he gave me a squeeze. “You okay?” He asked, even though he knew what I was feeling. It was more an invitation to let me say what was on my mind. 

“Overwhelmed,” I said. “And …” I shook my head. “I knew your position was a difficult one. Being a Vanguard is … You’re pulled in a lot of directions and have very hard decisions to make sometimes. Just general … bullshit to deal with when not helping Guardians out it the field. But when I … when I was watching and listening to you guiding the Hunters … Your voice was the same reassuring, strong, confident voice it has always been with me. I could see how stressed you were. How worried. But I could also feel it this time. And, despite that, your voice never wavered. Not once. It put things in a whole new perspective for me. Not just for you but all of you. How much the job wears at you. Made some of those nights we sat together in the Hanger take on a whole new meaning.” I looked over at him. “You should have told me how hard it was. Do you have any idea how many amazing shoulder massages you missed out on not saying anything?” I asked, smirking a little.

Cayde’s head fell back as he laughed before he hugged me close to his side and kissed my cheek. “I love you, beautiful.”

“I love you, too,” I smiled and turned my head, kissing him back. 

“You sure you’re alright? I keep gettin’ the sense there’s somethin’ else there,” he said, looking at me with some concern.

I shrugged. “It’s silly,” I shook my head.

“Tell me?” He asked.

“I … Well, I sort of felt liked an outsider. Like I didn’t really belong there. Like I haven’t earned the right yet.” 

“Haven’t earned the right?” Cayde asked, sounding shocked. He stopped walking and turned me to face him. “If anyone’s earned a right to be in there, it’s you, Ais,” he told me. “After all you’ve been though and done - the things you’ve faced - The … the ‘gods’ you’ve shown who’s boss … And let’s not forget brinin’ me back … Hell, you even gave Zavala, Shaxx, and Saladin a good talkin’ to which - w-well, if it’d been anyone else, I think Zavala’s glare alone woulda melted ‘em on the spot. If you hadn’t earned the right to be in there, they wouldn’t have let you in. And it ain’t got nothin’ to do with me. Okay, maybe a little with the Ghost thing an’ all, but forget that. With everythin’ else, Ais … Yeah, you’ve only been here a short time but that doesn’t matter cause-a everything you’ve done and everything you are.” He pressed his lips together, his fingers tapping against my shoulders as the teal plates of his face scrunched up a little in frustrated thought. “Y’know, a few years ago, before we even met, I was talkin’ to Shaxx about Saint-14. Saint useta go on about this Guardian who was, one day, gonna come along and do all kinds of amazing things no one else had ever done before. And y’know what I did? I laughed at it. Cause I didn’t believe it … But here you are. I believe it, Ais. I believe in you. Hell, I bet - I bet if things had been different and you coulda gone in there after Riven, you’da beat her. Somehow, you’da done it. So don’t let me ever, _ever_ catch you sayin’ you haven’t earned the right to stand with the big kids again. You got it?”

I looked at him, not knowing what to say. All I could do was smile a little and nod, swallowing around the tightness in my throat as my vision blurred before he pulled me against his chest and held me. I slipped my arms under his and curled my hands around the backs of his shoulders, pressing my face against the side of his hood. “You really gotta stop takin’ on so much by yourself or you’re gonna end up crappin’ diamonds like Zavala,” he affectionately murmured, rocking us from side to side a little. I snorted then laughed at the mental image that gave me.

“That was terrible,” I told him, still smirking.

“Made ya laugh, though,” he whispered.

I gave him a good squeeze then lifted my head and looked at him, smiling. “Thank you.”

“For what?” He softly asked, brushing a couple strands of hair out of my face, tucking them behind my ear before wiping at my cheeks with his thumb.

“For being you,” I murmured.

“I’ve never heard anyone say that about me before and I’m sure there’s a joke in there somewhere, but I’ll take it,” he said, smiling back then gave me a kiss before pressing his forehead to mine. 

I closed my eyes, savoring the affectionate gesture for a few moments before I spoke. “So … What was the little gesture you gave Ikora and Zavala as we were leaving?” I murmured.

Cayde eased his head back and I opened my eyes. “You mean this?” He asked and crossed his middle finger over his index and double-tapped them together. I nodded. “Chopsticks. The ‘Ramen’s On Me' thing.”

“Ooooh. Okay,” I nodded. The ‘Ramen’s On Me’ thing was something Cayde had started doing a long time ago. Before I ever came on the scene. What he’d do is go set up a tab at the Spicy Ramen shop and anyone from the mission could go sit and eat and be with friends. They were likely hungry after a rough mission, yes, but the real point was for those who wanted or needed to still be surrounded by friends for a while and take their minds off anything that happened, they could. Sometimes he did it just to celebrate a job well done. But they were especially important after something like this. 

I’d actually never been to one. I tended to deal with things on my own. 

I think I needed to change that. For Cayde, I really needed to. I think he wanted that. Wanted me to be there with him from now on.

“Well, in that case,” I said, “we’d better get going. They’ll be back soon.” I smiled and slipped my arms around his as we made our way to the Bazaar.

 

After Cayde spoke to the owners of the Spicy Ramen and set up the tab, the entire staff and family members who lived in the apartments above got together and started cooking and setting up the Bazaar space with tables, chairs, lanterns, flags, and other decorations. I watched in awe as things became set up very quickly, Cayde coming over to stand beside me, winking. Soon after that, a small group of people with instruments strolled across the open market space and set up over in the arbor-covered alcove just to the left of the blue-tiled archway that led through to where New Monarchy had their set up. They started practicing, tuning their instruments, the sounds seeming a sort of folksy Moroccan Asian fusion. They were beautiful sounds that I’d heard in various places down in the City and held a strange, soothing familiarity I could never quite place but always loved to hear.

“Did you …?” I asked, Cayde, pointing to the small band, wondering if he’d also had a hand in them coming up to the Tower to play. The teal plates on his face shifted up in a bit of a sly smile. “You do all this for teams coming in from tough Raids every time?” I asked him, wondering why I’d never known just how much he did and how much care he put into it. 

He gave a little nod and it was like I was seeing a whole new side to him. Another piece that just made him so much more. I was regretting choosing to spend so much time alone before this, as well as feeling bad, wondering how often he’d likely set up something special like this and was disappointed to not see me there because I’d decided to not come back right away, or go someplace away from the Tower to just … decompress after a particularly hard mission. Even those times I’d decided to take my frustrations out in my little make-shift gym below the Hanger … If I’d only chosen to let him help me more back then, I’d have gotten to see this side and know how much he really cared about me and all the Guardians who were out there risking it all.

“I … My promise to Andal led me here,” he quietly said. “It’s … restricted my ability to be out there with them like I should. To be who … who I was - and let me be clear, I regret the stupidity of our bet. I never shoulda made it. If I’d never made it he’d still be - ” He stopped himself, clearing his throat and I noticed his features harden a bit, his body tense as he absolutely refused to break down in any way in public. “I’m gettin’ away from what I was gonna say. Um … It’s just my way of doin’ something for whoever’s out there riskin’ it all when I can’t be,” he quickly said, then closed his lips, tight, and looked off at something else as he reeled in the emotion. I slipped my arm under his cloak and around his lower back, giving him a gentle hug, letting him have a few moments. I looked around at the space as it came to life, then out at the skyline beyond, the soft lights of the City shining up, illuminating the underside of the Traveler as the sky above slowly darkened, the stars just starting to peek through the warm tones as the sun faded.

Cayde’s arm going around my shoulders drew me back to him. “So,” he said, sounding cheery again, “does this mean you’re finally gonna start coming to these? Cause, I gotta admit, I’m just as guilty of not pushin’ you as you were of me but … I kinda would’ve liked to have had ya with me at some of these over the last couple-a years.”

I smiled and leaned my head against his shoulder for a brief moment. “Yeah. And I’m sorry,” I said, lifting my head back up, looking over at him. “Really. I should’ve let you help me more. I’m not … good with … emotion.”

He arched an eyebrow at me. “Uuuh. Is that a joke? All the times over the past year you helped me? Hell, all the times in the last couple-a weeks?”

“I can be the care-giver. I’m not good with being the one needing it,” I gently corrected.

“None of us are, Ais,” Cayde told me. “You think it was easy for me? Any of those times? Even with you? It’s not,” he said, his voice softening. “I get it. I get what you’re sayin’. It’s easier to be the strong one cause bein’ completely vulnerable is scary and, yeah, embarrassing. Even when it was just you and me and I knew I was safe and had nothin’ to worry about, I still felt that way. So I really do get it. But, when I feel that way, I just remind myself, we’re part of each other now. We made that bond. We _feel_ each other. So it’s … y’know … like … like cryin’ alone with yourself. Only yourself is really awesome and loves to hug and kiss the hell outta ya til you feel better,” he said, smiling.

I smiled back and kissed his cheek, nuzzling him softly. “Thanks,” I whispered. “I’ll remember that.” 

“You better,” he whispered, putting his arms around me, hugging me tight. 

We stood together, watching the Bazaar area gradually set up and come to life as people from around the Tower started coming in and the band started playing some soft but festive music. “You two look content,” Ikora softly said as she came up beside us, surveying the area. “Cayde, you’ve outdone yourself,” she said, looking around.

“Yeah, I, uh … was in a festive mood,” Cayde shrugged.

“Mmm. I’m sure,” she nodded, her tone slightly playful.

“Why, Ikora, are you suggesting there’s any other reason, other than our illustrious Guardians being victorious today, that I’d be in such a good mood?” Cayde needled back. I smirked, head still resting on his shoulder while I watched the people and the band. 

“Oh, no, Cayde. I’d never ‘suggest’,” Ikora replied, a smirk of her own on her lips.

“What did you tell her?” Cayde asked me.

“I didn’t say anything,” I grinned. “You know Ikora. She just … knows things.”

“Riiight,” Cayde said, then looked over at Ikora. “If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were needling for details.”

“But you do know better,” Ikora said.

“Mmm. Well, tomorrow is Saturday,” Cayde said, glancing up at the Traveler. “We’re supposed to meet for our usual tea date later in the afternoon. Maybe I’ll just accidentally let something slip,” he casually said.

I bit at my bottom lip so as not to snort and cleared my throat. “Like how magnificent you are?” I murmured.

“Well, that’s just a fact everyone knows,” Cayde replied.

Ikora softly chuckled. “To a slightly more serious matter - and why I’m here before the others - we’ll be short two Guardians for a little while. Hopefully not the duration of the evening, but that Hunter, Sabine, the one Morgeth crushed - ”

“Yeah, thank the Light it didn’t get her Ghost, too,” Cayde uttered and Ikora nodded. 

That had been a particularly bad moment throughout the Raid, when the team faced off against a monstrous Taken Ogre named Morgeth who had once been part of the Blood of Oryx but now served Savathûn. When Sabine, one of two Hunters in the Raid group, charged him and sliced at his calves with her Spectral Blades to try and drop him so the rest of the team could get an advantage, Morgeth had brought his foot down and crushed her to death. It … to say it had been gruesome was a terrible understatement and I’d felt the shock, anger, and sadness that had all passed through Cayde in that moment before we realized her Ghost had been quick-thinking, and managed to get out of the way before it was too late. If it hadn’t … Sabine wouldn’t be here with us now. 

“Edo is with her,” Ikora said, then looked at me, realizing I wasn’t familiar with these Guardians and explained. “Edo is the Warlock who used his Nova Bomb to knock Morgeth back off Sabine so her Ghost could save her,” she told me. “They are lovers,” she said. “They’ve been together for a long, long time. They were both Risen and been fighting together since the Dark Ages.”

I softly smiled as I considered how long that was and all they must have been through over time … The bond they must share. My arms tightened around Cayde a little as I felt him do the same, knowing he was thinking the same thing I was. We all knew Guardians had relationships. Cayde and I weren’t anything new or special in that regard. Our joined Light and shared Ghost made it unique, and that wasn’t something we were planning on making known to anyone save our closest friends. But to have a bond, just a regular one like everyone else, and to have it last through the ages … that was very special. 

“They’re both, understandably, shaken form that. It was a very close call,” Ikora continued, her eyes shifting to Cayde, who I felt nod. 

“They gonna be alright?” He asked.

“I think so,” Ikora nodded. “They just need some time alone.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Cayde nodded. “It’s not mandatory to be here.”

“No,” Ikora said, shaking her head a little. “But I wanted to make sure you knew.”

“Thanks,” Cayde said and Ikora nodded. “I’ll be returning shortly,” she said, then turned and left.

“You know Sabine and Edo?” I asked Cayde when we were alone again.

“No,” Cayde replied. “I’ve met and spoken with them a bit before, when they’ve been here to meet with the old Hunt group. And I know about their whole Raid Group from files on the Hunt. But actually _know_ them, no. Seemed real nice, though. And me bein’ the Hunter Vanguard, I sorta have a duty - and want - to make sure my Hunters are all okay and bein’ taken care of.”

I smiled.

 

Once the rest of the Raid Team arrived, led into the Bazaar by Zavala, Ikora, Petra, Shaxx and Saladin, the music stopped and people who had already gathered cheered. I asked Cayde why he wasn’t up there with them and he just smiled and shook his head, and I got that this was one of those rare times he pulled himself and his ego out of the spotlight, wanting the focus to be on the real heroes.

I really couldn’t have chosen a more wonderful man.

When the speeches were done and the music started back up, Cayde led me over to a table and had me sit then kissed my cheek again as Ghost appeared. “Be right back,” he said and motioned Ghost to follow as he disappeared with him into the crowd.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen him - or any Exo - ever be so affectionate,” Petra said as she came over, sitting down across from me. 

“Hi,” I smiled. “Yeah, he’s, uh … he’s in a good mood.”

She nodded. 

“How’re you doing?” I asked her.

She looked around. “It’s still strange being here,” she said. “Still feel like I don’t belong, despite all the Awoken faces I see in the crowd.” She looked at me. “But I imagine you felt a similar way when you used to visit the Reef.”

I nodded. 

“I am grateful. All the Awoken are. Riven has been stopped and Kalli and Shuro-Chi are saved.” 

“And the Dreaming City? Will your people be able to go back there now?” I asked.

“Our people, Cousin,” she gently corrected with a bit of a smile. “And there is still much to be done. Still a Taken influence blanketing our home according to the Corsairs I have stationed there. There are also reports of Scorn still in the area.”

I frowned. “How are they getting in there?”

“Uldren. Through Uldren, the Fanatic brought them there,” Petra explained. 

I sighed.

“This is still a time to celebrate,” Petra said. “We are grateful,” she assured.

“Hey, P.V.,” Cayde greeted as he came over with a couple bowls of ramen for himself and me, setting one bowl down in front of me. Ghost floated over to me, a little colorful beaded tassel draped around his shell, and I frowned. 

“Please tell him not to decorate me,” Ghost sighed and I snorted.

“What? It’s a celebration!” Cayde said. “You look great.” He then pulled a small pink rose out from behind himself, the stem trimmed short with no thorns, and gently tucked it over my ear and gave me a kiss, making me smile. “You want anything, P.V.? I’m going back up.”

Petra smiled and politely waved her hand in a ‘no thank you’ gesture, then showed Cayde she already had a hot cup of tea. “I’m fine, thank you.”

Cayde nodded and disappeared again, this time Ghost stayed with me. “I’m afraid to go with him again. I don’t know what else he’ll put on me.”

I chuckled and ran my fingers over the dangling tassel around Ghost, looking at the pretty beads. “It does look cute, though.”

Ghost grumbled but I think he was just doing that for show.

“How’s he doing?” Petra asked of Cayde, her tone becoming a bit more serious, but soft.

“He still has some moments when Sundance’s death gets to him,” I admitted, my attention focusing on her as Ghost continued to float beside me. “That’s going to take time and … Well, you know the bond Guardians have with their Ghosts. But, overall, he’s good. Really. He’s happy.”

“Good. I’ve been worried about him and you, just haven’t had a chance to really talk with either of you.”

“Well, you got time now,” Cayde said, returning with a couple of cold beers and set one down by my bowl as he sat next to me.

Petra smiled a little. “How have you been adjusting?”

“Eh,” Cayde shrugged. “It’s … different,” he said, glancing up at Ghost, smiling a little. “But good.”

Ghost twitched, and I noticed Petra frown as she eyed the interaction there. “Did I … miss something?” She asked.

Cayde reached down to his belt and pulled his knife out then looked over at me. “Don’t yell at me this time,” he smirked.

“I’m not worried this time,” I said, smirking back. 

He nodded and looked at Petra, putting his finger over his lips, signaling her to stay quiet, then pulled his glove off and nicked his finger with the knife, just like he’d done back on Enceladus. 

Petra frowned as she watched a bit of Exo blood ooze from the wound then Cayde glanced up at Ghost and gave him a nod. Ghost floated down and, with a little beam of Light, healed the injury.

Petra blinked, stunned. “How …?”

Cayde smirked and picked up his beer, sipping it. “That’s an interesting story,” he said, a grin in his tone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Curious what people thought of this one and how I handled it so if you have comments, questions, whatever, feel free to post them! Working on the next chapter and hope to have it out soon! :)


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a tricky chapter. This is where a mix of things that happened within the game all seemed to happen at once and, with Cayde being alive here, I had to really think about how to work him into it. It was hard, especially with his lore and other characters lore not really shedding a lot of light on relationships and history where I had concrete stuff to go on to give him and them reactions to each other. So I hope I managed to do this right where it feels somewhat accurate and like it fits properly so it can lead into the other parts of the story I want to tell surrounding the game. Some stuff, I'm going on theory, only because the lore isn't there for me to work with. So I hope you all like it and, as usual, I'll have the next chapter out soon! :)

The next few weeks were a whirlwind of … stuff. Good and bad. Unfortunately, the bad wasn’t anything we had an immediate answer for. We’d discovered a curse had been placed over the Dreaming City, the doing of not only Riven, but a plan long set in motion by Savathûn with the help of her daughter, Dûl Incaru, a Hive Wizard, and Quira, a Vex Axis Mind Hydra that, in it’s analyzing and calculations of Oryx, himself, learned how to Take, even after she, herself, had been Taken. 

Toland’s warning, about playing right into her hand, had been accurate. We’d done just that. And the ‘her’ he had spoken of had, indeed, been Savathûn. This was what she’d wanted all along. To make the Dreaming City into a kill-battery to increase her power through Sword-Logic and, ultimately, granting her god-like power.

To top it all off, Cayde and I were actually summoned to meet with Mara Sov in her Court, a personal Throne World of hers where she’d been since the Taken War. Petra had an offering ready for the Oracle when we arrived and, once Cayde and I passed through the portal, we found ourselves in an almost etherial space, not at all like the Throne Worlds of the Hive or Hiraks. This was beautiful; oddly peaceful. And, when we saw the Queen, sitting upon her throne, it took me back to the first time I’d met her at the Reef. She had that same cold stare when she looked at us and the same bored tone to her voice. I remembered what she had said to me then: _“I have shown you benevolence, Guardian. Should the Awoken ever need an ally I will call on you. And expect you to answer.”_. I supposed this all had been part of that time she’d spoken of. 

_”Come closer, Lightbearers,” she casually beckoned._

_As we closed in on the throne, Ghost materialized between us and I felt a slight uneasy feeling within Cayde. Like he didn’t fully trust her, despite respecting her._

_”We all played right into her hands - beginning with my beloved baby brother.” Mara said. “There are those who are more dangerous dead than alive. And there are those who win when we believe they've lost. You enter the infinite, Lightbearers. This will all happen again, and again, and again. You bear witness to the fate of my people.” She then gazed up at the vast space above us. “They have taken notice of you. And great interest.”_

_”They who?” I asked._

_“The Nine,” Mara answered sounding like she’d rather be doing anything else right now, despite a strange wisdom lacing the tone, then looked at both of us before her eyes settled on me. “You have done something no other Guardian has ever done. You carried your beloved’s precious Light. Protected it. Merged with it. Two becoming one. They will seek to exploit this to their own gains. Do not let them. Their schemes and games are like the curse afflicting my people. They never end.” She sighed lamentingly then stood and stepped down to us. “When there is too much Darkness in the universe, Light must cast it away. And when there is too much Light, Darkness must drown it out. This truth is our burden.” Her eyes settled on me, boring into me. “This is what it is to be Awoken.” She told me, as if imparting some wisdom of what I was on me. She then turned and looked out into the seemingly unending purple and pink hues of the nebula-like space beyond the throne. “I dreamt of a friend I will come to have. She will tell me: a side should always be taken. Even if it's the wrong side. I think I should like her.”_

_I had never forgotten those words. Even after all this time. I had wondered what happened to her. The Exo Stranger. To hear Mara speak those words … I wondered if we would, indeed, see her again._

_”The next act is about to begin,” Mara said, “and I do not know when I will return.” She turned back to us, standing a bit straighter, a bit more defiant in her very presence. “Fear nothing. Bow to no one. We will meet again. One day,” she softly said, and then her form faded away in water-like ripping tendrils, leaving Cayde and I alone in the beautiful but lonely space._

I had noticed Cayde hadn’t spoken once while Mara was there. It wasn’t until she’d left he finally spoke. 

_“You okay?” He asked me._

_“Yeah,” I nodded. “Just taking everything in,” I said, looking around for a moment before turning to face him. “You?”_

_He nodded. “Just takin’ everything in, too,” he said, then looked up and tilted his head, then walked up the steps and took a seat on Mara’s throne, draping one leg up over the arm. I smirked and joined him, but sat on the opposite arm and let him lean against my side as I stroked his cheek. “So … if I got all that … we seem to be key players here,” he murmured._

_I nodded._

_“And, looks like you, Lady Guardian, seem to still be showin’ us all up.” I looked down at him as he glanced up at me. “Carryin’ my Light. Mergin’ both ours together. Sharin’ a Ghost,” he said, gesturing to Ghost as he floated a little closer. “If no one else’s done that, and it’s got the attention of the Nine? Then that’s gotta mean somthin’. Somethin’ big.”_

_“What are the Nine, Cayde?” I asked. “Xur has spoken of them many times over the years and I’ve gone through some of the Trials … But no one I’ve spoken to seems to know what they are or will give a straight answer if asked. The Vanguard must have some idea, though.”_

_”Well …” He shifted, taking his leg off the arm of the throne and sat up, giving me his more direct attention. “Near as we can tell, the Nine are … The easy answer is the planets.”_

_“I’m sorry, what?” I frowned. “Like the planets of the Sol System? Like Mercury, Venus, Earth - ”_

_“Mars, Jupiter, Saturn … Yeah,” Cayde nodded. “All of ‘em.”_

_I furrowed my eyebrows at him. “The planets … are alive?”_

_He frowned and tilted his head form one side to the other. “Nooo - well, yeah, but … Ugh …Trynna think how Ikora explained it to me. Um … She said they’re beings of pure thought. So they don’t have bodies like us, but embody the planets. They are the planets. Somethin’ she said about dark matter becoming aware or conscious. And then there was somethin’ about how they’re here but not here. Like, in unknown space but in our space, too, bein’ the planets … I don’t do too good with all that mystical stuff. Ikora’s the one to talk to about it. She’d do a much better job than me tellin’ ya.”_

_“So they aren’t aliens, like I thought. Some higher beings from another galaxy or something. They’re here.”_

_He nodded. “Yeah. They’re parta everything. Everywhere and nowhere. Hell, they’re probably listenin’ in on us right now,” he shrugged._

_“Well … a lot of things Xur said over the years are starting to make sense now. But … if they’re everywhere … and part of the Sol System itself - the planets … why don’t they just step in and stop all the bad stuff that’s happening?”_

_“They’re everywhere, but also nowhere,” Cayde reminded. “Ikora thinks they have limited power cause even though they’re here … they aren’t … here. Even though they … are.” He frowned shaking his head, like it was a mind-bender to think about. Which it was._

_”So they need us, because if the Darkness takes over, and the Sol System is destroyed, they’re destroyed with it. That’s why they’re helping us."_

_He nodded._

_“And that’s why the Queen wanted to see us,” I said, nodding to myself. “Because you and I have a merged power they could see as a great advantage. It was a warning from her to us not to let them exploit it to their advantage alone.”_

_“Well, you know too well how I feel about bein’ used. Ain’t exactly somethin’ that makes me feel good,” Cayde muttered._

_I rubbed his back. “We don’t let that happen. Everything we do, we do for the City. For the people. For their future. The Nine may be the planets, but the people are what we do this for.”_

_He looked up at me and smiled a little, nodding, then leaned over and rested his head on my thigh and I moved my hand to the side of his face, idly caressing his cheek, hearing and feeling him sigh, relaxing some and taking comfort in not having to hold up the tough, reassuring side all the time._

_“You really think those Motes of Dark will work against the Taken?” I asked._

_"That was the theory we had,” Cayde nodded. “We used Motes of Light to improve and manipulate our own Light. Make our armor and weapons stronger. If we can get enough Motes of Dark … Maybe we really can use it to manipulate the Taken. Get the upper hand over Savathûn.” He lifted his head, looking at me. “He says it really works.”_

_“He still seems shady to me,” I said._

_“Somethin’ happened to him. He was … eccentric even before he left but … He says he was gone for hundreds of years. But it’s only been … a hundred and fifty or so?” He shook his head._

_“You think he slipped into one of the pocket dimensions?”_

_“The way he was talkin’ … what happened to his crew? What he did …”. Cayde shook his head again. “It’s the only thing that makes sense. Sure, I wouldn’t be surprised if they managed to find and visit places beyond our system, like he said, but the other things he talks about? The only thing that makes sense is they passed into another dimension. Maybe where the Darkness is originally from by the sound of it. I just know … if the Motes of Dark work the way the Motes of Light do … Gambit will work. Guardians will get the practice they need fighting the real baddies, and it’ll generate the Motes we need. I mean, it ain’t perfect, but …” He shrugged, throwing his hands up before lightly slapping them back down on his knees. “It’s the best play I got right now and he want’s to run it. And … Look, I know he ain’t exactly a saint, ol’ Golden Gun’s on the look out for him, the Praxic Order’s got their eyes on him, and, yeah, he’s … been through some shit that’s made him more … out there and paranoid than he was when I first ran with him. But he’s what we got right now.”_

_I nodded. “Okay,” I said, and leaned over, kissing the top of his head through his hood._

After meeting with Mara, returning home, and discussing things with Zavala and Ikora, Cayde and I had a lot to think about. Not just in the general sense of what was going on, but personally. We determined that the best thing we could do was hone our skills as one. Sharpen our shared abilities and try new things we hadn’t yet and be as prepared for whatever may come our way. 

This was where some of the good came in.

A couple days later, Shaxx was let in on exactly what had happened at the prison and that Cayde and I now shared a Ghost and our Light. We also shared our engagement with him. Of course this led into the usually enigmatic Titan gushing over the power of love and how it made the seemingly impossible happen. He also ended up quoting more Shakespeare, as well as teasing me about being able to handle a Hunter like Cayde who was, undoubtedly, a handful. Most of the time it sounded more like Shaxx was speaking about a toddler than a man, and I found myself laughing because, in some ways, it was true!

Of course, Cayde playfully pouted the whole time, deliberately acting more like a toddler just to be a pain in the ass.

Eventually we got serious and down to business and, with the help of Zavala and Ikora, we arranged special training times Shaxx would oversee, where Zavala and Ikora would fight against us while Cayde and I learned more about how our Light worked together. We also learned that Mara was right. While Zavala and Isabelle had shared their Light, it hadn’t actually merged like mine and Cayde’s. Zavala and Isabelle hadn’t been able to interchange each others powers. They could sense what the other was feeling, sense what the other was going to do. But when we told Zavala how Cayde had been able to use my hammer, that was a surprise to him and an intriguing bit of information to Ikora. The sharing of a Ghost was likely a big part of the reason why that worked the way it did.

This all led into Zavala making a suggestion that Cayde and I try to use different powers together and see if we could still interchange them. Cayde admitted he was rusty on using Arc and Void - especially Void, which I was as well - but we gave it a go.

And we discovered we had truly become something wholly unique.

I thought I’d seen some impressive things in my short time as a Guardian, but I had to admit, nothing impressed me more than when Cayde and I managed to fully open up to each other on the battlefield and I got to see him use the Void for the first time. He’d made a running jump off a high platform to my left and, as he drew the Shadowshot bow, I felt a pull at my core from him. His Light was almost asking mine for help and I replied, letting the Solar core of my Light shift to him and join his Void power. As the Shadowshot bow drew back the arrow, Solar flames lit around the Void-formed weapon, setting it aflame. Purple and orange Light glowed all around him and, when Cayde fired the arrow, it tethered Zavala and Ikora in place then exploded in flame, turning them to ash instantly.

“AHHHHHHH!! THAT WAS AMAZING!!!” Shaxx laughed and screamed over the comms so loud it actually made the speaker screech in my ear.

I winced, even as my jaw dropped at what I saw. Cayde landed on his feet beside me, completely slack-jawed. “Oh shit …” he uttered. We both ran over to the ash piles, briefly blinking at them in worry before Zavala’s and Ikora’s Ghost’s rezzed them. “I am so sorry! I didn’t know it was gonna do …” he gestured to the burned spots on the ground, “that. You - you guys alright?” He asked, feeling terrible he’d just burned his friends alive in what had been a rather shocking way.

Ikora and Zavala looked down at themselves then at Cayde, stunned. “We’re … fine,” Zavala said, then looked at Ikora again as she gave a confirming nod.

“You just merged Solar and Void,” Ikora said, sounding more fascinated than anything, looking Cayde up and down, then me, like we were something completely new she’d never seen before. Zavala was looking at us the same way.

Cayde looked down at his hands, then over at me. He suddenly started laughing. “That was so badass!” He grabbed me up in a hug and I sensed that now that he knew Ikora and Zavala were okay, he could focus on the awesomeness of what he’d just done! “You’re next!” He told me. “Mix somethin’ up and obliterate them!”

Zavala nervously cleared his throat and I laughed. “Wow, handsome. Showing your love if destruction a bit too much there,” I said to Cayde, petting his back.

“Oh. Er …” He sheepishly looked over at Zavala and Ikora. “Love you guys,” he sweetly said, then looked back at me. “Show no mercy,” he whispered to me and winked.

I sighed, smirking, shaking my head. “Shaxx?” I said over the comm. “Reset us. Give Zavala and Ikora a fighting chance at least.”

“Resetting,” he confirmed and Cayde and I found ourselves transmitted to a new location on the map.

“How about Void and Arc this time?” I asked Cayde. “You do Arc, I’ll try the Void. See what happens when I draw the Arc into it.”

Cayde nodded and prepared himself, focusing on the Arc side of his Light, while I did the same with the Void. After searching the area for a few moments, and keeping low, we picked Zavala and Ikora up on our radars, Ikora did what I’d anticipated and sent out a Nova Bomb as soon as she spotted us. At the same time, Zavala charged his Arc power, his fists crackling with electricity, looking almost as fearsome as Ikora - which was really saying something - charging us, about to leap and crash down to the ground.

I knew we only had seconds before Ikora’s attack hit us and Zavala’s attack would accompany it, so I activated the Sentinel Shield jet the same time Cayde activated the Arc Staff. I drew in his Light, letting it merge with my formed Shield, bolts of Arc energy cracking around the edge, creating razor-sharp spear points jutting out all around, making the Shield look like a big saw blade. I quickly spun myself around and threw it, sending it spinning through the air. It ricocheted off the large rock wall behind Ikora and Zavala and, in the blink of an eye, took out Ikora first, then Zavala, neither one even having a chance to leap out of the way.

“Oof!” Cayde winced as both their bodies crumpled to the ground.

Of course, just as that happened, Ikora’s Nova Bomb was right on top of us and I knew there was no escaping it, so I just sighed and closed my eyes. Last thing I heard was the quiet utter of an “Uh-oh,” from Cayde before it took us both out.

“Okay, fifty glimmer,” I heard Cayde say as Ghost brought me back.

I blinked, focusing my eyes. “What are you betting this time?” I asked, getting my bearings, seeing Ikora and Zavala standing in front of Cayde, both looking amused.

“He’s willing to bet fifty glimmer the next combination either of you try will get me before I can cast another Nova Bomb,” Ikora said, a smile in her tone.

“Let’s hope so. That hurt,” I said, nodding, rubbing at my chest.

“You decapitated us,” Zavala stated.

“I didn’t know it was going to do _that_!” I said, throwing up my arms, laughing.

“That was awesome,” Cayde nodded.

Zavala lowly chuckled. He actually looked and seemed a bit more youthful than I’d ever seen him.

He was having fun.

It was about time.

“Well, I’m ready to go if you guys are,” I said and when Shaxx reset us on the map, Cayde looked over at me. “Okay, so, I actually don’t care if I win or lose the bet, I wanna try somethin’,” he said to me.

“What’s that?” I asked.

“We can merge different powers, but what about the same? Instead of me usin’ your hammer or you usin’ my gun, what if they’ll make somethin’ new, too? Try castin’ your big hammer and I’ll use my Solar, too. Let’s see what it does."

I nodded, smiling, curious myself, and, when we tried it, while we did discover the same Light base could also merge, sending Burning Blades shooting out from the fiery tornadoes my Burning Maul created, Ikora still managed to send out a Nova Bomb first, winning the bet.

Unfortunately, for Cayde, neither of his Solar powers could draw in my Solar powers and he seemed a little disappointed by that. “I was hoping to be able to shoot little mini hammers at bad guys,” he pouted, making finger guns. “Right between the eyes. Pew, pew, pew!”

I chuckled and put my arm around his shoulders, leaning in, kissing his cheek. “You may not have gotten to shoot mini hammers, but that flaming Shadowshot was really something,” I said. It was true, too. Of all the things he could draw from my Light, that one was the most awesome looking, not to mention pretty devastating. There was no getting out of that. Once you were tethered, you were doomed. It was kind of like Ikora’s Nova Bomb. Might as well just close your eyes and accept it.

Cayde looked over at me and smiled, his spirits lifting.

When we got back to the Tower, an absolutely ecstatic Shaxx was waiting in the Vanguard conference room and had a list drawn up on a tablet for us, making note of our powers and how they worked and didn’t work together. He handed Cayde the tablet and I leaned over, looking at it with him, Ghost hovering above us, reading it as well.

CAYDE-6 and AISLIN - MERGEABLE LIGHT POWERS:

HUNTER

ARC:

HUNTER ARC STAFF  
WON’T WORK DRAWING IN ANY TITAN POWER.

HUNTER WHIRLWIND GUARD  
Can draw in TITAN SOLAR and create a FLAMING ARC STAFF that SPINS AND SETS TARGETS ON FIRE.  
WON’T WORK DRAWING IN EITHER TITAN ARC OR VOID

VOID:

HUNTER SHADOWSHOT  
Can draw in TITAN SOLAR and create SOLAR CHARGED ARROWS that TETHER AND INCINERATE targets.  
Can draw in TITAN ARC and create ARC CHARGED ARROWS that TETHER AND ELECTROCUTE targets.  
(DEPENDS ON WHAT POWER - ARC OR SOLAR - AISLIN IS USING THAT CAYDE’S SHADOWSHOT WILL DRAW FROM. WILL NOT WORK WITH VOID)

HUNTER SPECTRAL BLADES  
WON’T WORK DRAWING IN ANY TITAN POWERS.

SOLAR:

HUNTER GOLDEN GUN  
WON’T WORK DRAWING IN ANY TITAN POWERS

HUNTER BLADE BARRAGE  
WON’T WORK DRAWING IN ANY TITAN POWERS  


SOLAR EXCHANGE FOR BOTH ONLY

TITAN

ARC:

TITAN FISTS OF HAVOC  
Can draw in HUNTER VOID and SLAM into the ground, ARC FANNING OUT to TETHER AND ELECTROCUTE targets.  
Can draw in HUNTER SOLAR and BURN and ELECTROCUTE targets.  
WON’T WORK DRAWING IN HUNTER ARC

TITAN THUNDERCRASH  
WON’T WORK DRAWING IN ANY HUNTER POWERS.

VOID:

TITAN SENTINAL SHIELD  
Can draw in HUNTER ARC and create a SPIKED THROWING SHIELD that SHREDS and TEARS/CUTS THROUGH targets.  
WON’T WORK WITH HUNTER VOID OR SOLAR

TITAN BANNER SHIELD  
WON’T WORK WITH ANY HUNTER POWERS.

SOLAR  
TITAN HAMMER OF SOL  
WON’T WORK DRAWING IN ANY HUNTER POWERS

TITAN BURNING MAUL  
Can draw in HUNTER BLADE BARRAGE and create BURNING BLADES that SHOOT OUT FROM FIERY TORNADOES created by the Hammer.

“Huh,” Cayde uttered as he looked over the list then shook his head. “We actually … created new powers.”

“Indeed,” Zavala said as he looked at the list on the larger monitor over by Arctie 99-40, who had been assisting Shaxx. “You are both something … entirely new.”

Ikora stood nearby, hands joined behind her back, looking contemplative. “The moment you use these powers against enemies or in front of anyone, the secret is going to be out. Other Guardians will have questions and some will likely seek out ways to try and achieve them as well - to less than happy ends.”

“Enemies will also seek out ways to exploit it. We need to move forward with caution,” Zavala added.

“Yeah, I’ve never done well with caution,” Cayde said.

“Cayde, this is serious,” Zavala stated. 

“I am being serious!” Cayde said, throwing his arms out to his sides, shrugging. 

I settled my hand on his shoulder. “Maybe … the best thing we can do - for now - is keep a low profile with it. Only use merged powers if we really need to. If we’re really in trouble, or someone else is and that’s the last option.” Cayde made to protest and I gently shushed him. “Until we get a better handle on it. So everyone stays safe.”

He closed his mouth and I saw he was pondering all the options, then eventually nodded. 

“The Crucible is always open to you,” Shaxx said, his tone softer than normal. “To all four of you so that you may develop these new skills further,” he said, looking at Cayde and me. "That was an impressive show worthy of the finest warriors.”

I think he was embellishing a lot there, but I still felt a little tingle of pride in Cayde and I smiled at him. “Just imagine _really_ opening up those new skills with the Ace … and a few grenades.” I made a little exploding motion. He loved explosions!

He chuckled and leaned in, nuzzling me. “You know me so well,” he whispered, then eyed Zavala and Ikora, pointing at them. “Next time, _we_ blow _you_ up. No more Nova Bomb.”

“But you so love explosions, Cayde,” Ikora smirked.

“Not when I’m the one getting exploded!” Cayde laughed.

Ikora smirked. “Speaking of explosions … I believe you owe me fifty glimmer.”

“Oh, geez, will ya look at the time?” Cayde said, lifting his wrist up, looking at the back of his glove. “I gotta feed Colonel.” He turned and hurried out of the room.

“Rapscallion,” Shaxx muttered while Zavala held a subdued smirk on his lips and Ikora softly chuckled.

I watched Cayde go then looked at Ikora and sighed, chuckling. Oh, Cayde. “I’ll make sure you get it,” I promised.

Cayde actually did have to feed Colonel and take care of her little area near his workstation, so while he did that and spent some time with Amanda, Ghost staying with him, I had gone back to the new apartment and showered and changed. After that, I decided to do a bit more work unpacking a few more boxes and putting things away, unable to help the constant smiles that came to my lips as it still continued to sink in that this was _our_ place, not just mine where Cayde had come to stay.

We’d been in the new place for a week now. Shiro had contacted us and asked if he could push his visit back to the Festival of the Lost, realizing how close his original visit was to that time. We thought that would be perfect, not only giving us time to move in but let Shiro see the Tower all decorated and enjoy some of the celebration, as well as pay his respects to Andal, just as Cayde did every year.

I honestly wasn’t sure how that was going to go. Andal was a touchy subject with Cayde and I’d never spent a Festival of the Lost with him before. I’d been around - sort of - but never spent it _with_ him. I usually just busied myself with missions and found high places in the Tower to watch others wandering around in costumes. And I was pretty sure I was the only one who had actually enjoyed the raisins Eris had offered one year, finding the thought more meaningful than anything. I suppose that it was also I just didn’t really have any friends before getting closer with Cayde. I was acquaintances with people, maybe kind of friends with Amanda, but there was no one I really spent time with or did things with. I was always more of a loner. It was just sort of my nature and seemed easier that way, even after Oryx and with the nightmares.

Cayde had often claimed he didn’t feel like he was very likable, and he hadn’t really grasped that the people surrounding him really were his friends and cared about him. It wasn’t until after the close call at the prison that had really sunk in for him. I had seen it, though. Over the years. Even if I hadn’t engaged much back then, it was still obvious who genuinely liked and cared about him. I suppose, if I was honest with myself - looking back on it - there may have been part of me that was envious. That I was just as lonely as Cayde was sometimes. But, since the Red War - since Cayde and I had grown closer - they’d become my friends as well. And I had to admit, it was good to have friends and not spend all my time on the outside looking in. Part of me was actually excited about the upcoming holidays for once. Not just the Festival of the Lost, but all the others following.

The only thing I was concerned about was the more sombre part of the Festival. While it was mostly a celebration with costumes, music, and special foods and candies, as well as spooky tales told around fires, and the Tower being open to the children form the City, there were also commemorations of fallen friends. Altars, photos, trinkets … All kinds of things set out around the Tower for others to look at and pay their respects. This year, not only was Cayde going to be thinking about Andal … but Sundance as well. And with her death being so recent … I was worried about him. He had good days. More now than before, and they were increasing. But, sometimes, he got sad and I knew why without him having to say anything. I’d just hug him and feel him cheer up some, but I knew he was still struggling. Even Ghost would offer comfort as best he could, snuggling up against the side of Cayde’s neck as he’d settle on his shoulder. I could tell that was always appreciated and it had brought them even closer together.

Andal, though … Andal was tricky. He’d been gone for a long time. Sometimes, Cayde could laugh about Andal and whole-heartedly share stories, actually enjoying talking about all the crazy stuff they’d done and places they’d gone. Then … other times … just trying to say Andal’s name was really hard for him because I think all that came to mind was the bet they’d made and, even now, Cayde felt like it was all his fault Andal was gone. I really hoped Shiro being here this time might be just what he needed, though. Someone he could reminisce with who would help remind him of the good times and distract him from the other stuff. Someone who’d actually known Andal before he’d been a Vanguard.

While I was thinking of all this, I’d found myself pausing in setting things out and putting things away, instead standing in front of the fireplace, my hand resting on top of Sundance’s urn, which sat on top of the mantel. It had been the first thing Cayde had set out in the apartment after bringing in the first round of boxes and furniture. He’d carried her in from the old place, holding her against his chest the whole way, and gently set her up on the left side of the mantel, near the end, so every time he came and went form the apartment, he would pass her and see her, touching the top of the stone box where she rested. It was both touching and heartbreaking at the same time. But it helped him. I knew that. Made it feel like she was still here and part of us - as she always would be - but it was still hard to watch him do that sometimes. And, now, here I found myself, doing the same thing.

I actually had gotten so lost in thought, just standing there with her, that I hadn’t heard Cayde come in. “Hey,” he softly said and I jumped a little. “Heh,” he lightly chuckled. “I finally managed to startle you,” he lightly said, referring to all the times he’d deliberately tired before, but our bond made it impossible since we could feel each other nearby. I smiled at him as I watched him set a couple paper bags down on the table near the door and come over to me, Ghost hovering along beside him. Cayde glanced at my hand settled on top of Sundance, then at me, looking at me questioningly. “Everything okay?” He gently asked, softly rubbing my back.

I nodded. “Yeah.” I looked at Sundance’s urn. “I just got to thinking about the Festival and Shiro visiting.”

Cayde tilted his head and his eyes shifted to Sundance before coming back to me. “You were thinking about how I’m gonna handle things, weren’t you?”

“That was part of it, yeah,” I nodded, then turned and faced him, leaning my shoulder against the face of the fireplace as I crossed my arms over my chest. “But I was also thinking about how this will be the first Festival of the Lost I’ve spent with you and had friends to celebrate with.”

Cayde mimicked my lean against the fireplace, crossing his arms, too. “You always made yourself scarce,” he nodded then tilted forward toward me a little. “I noticed, y’know?” He murmured and I raised my eyebrows in question. “You watching, perched up in high places. I’d see you when you were up there.”

I smirked a little. “Yeah, I shouldn’t be surprised. You’re a Hunter. It’s rare things get by you.”

He smirked, too, and nodded. “I was worried about you. We all were. Ikora and Zavala. Worried you were distancing yourself too much after all you’d been though.”

“It was because of what I went through that I _did_ distance myself,” I told him. “I’m glad that’s different now, though.”

He leaned forward even more and settled this forehead on mine, softly sighing. “I don’t know how I’m gonna feel this time. What’s gonna happen,” he whispered. “Especially with Shiro visiting. I just know I’ll need you. But I’ll be there for you, too. So don’t think just cause I might be havin’ a hard time with some things ya can’t lean on me or talk to me. I actually hope you will, Ms. Strong and Silent Type.” 

I smiled a little at the title and nodded but heard what he was really saying - what he was practically begging for. He wanted and needed me to open up more than I had been because he was feeling like he wasn’t being allowed in to a deeper part of me. He’d opened up and shared so much with me - leaned on me a lot - but I was hesitant with doing the same. I knew that made him feel like I didn’t trust him, even though he knew I did. He wanted to know that part of me. Know that deeper part no one else did, the way I knew him. And, yeah, it was hard for me to do that, but I was going to try. I was going to think about things to talk with him about and set aside a special time during the Festival for just the two of us. He deserved that.

“So … what’s in the bags?” I murmured.

He snorted a little, smiling. “Dinner.” He tilted his head back and looked at me. “And, before you say anything, I gave Ikora her fifty glimmer while I was at it. Which I totally plan on winning back next time.”

I chuckled. “You know, with all the stories I’d heard, I’d expected her to be a bit more fierce in there.”

Cayde threw his head back and laughed. “Oooooh, Ais! She wasn’t even tryin’ in there! Trust me! She’s scary!”

I laughed. “Then how do you plan on winning your glimmer back?” I asked.

“Cause I wasn’t even tryin’ either,” he whispered, winking at me.

“So, you’re saying, next time we go in there, do as Shaxx usually says? Show no mercy. Even if they are our friends.”

Cayde nodded.

“Okay then,” I nodded, feeling a wicked smirk form on my lips.

“Oooooh, I just got chills!” Cayde said, wiggling his shoulders. “The good ones this time! This is gonna be great!” He did a little happy dance!

I laughed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Looking forward to writing stuff with Festival Of The Lost and bringing Shiro into the story! Hope to have it to you all soon!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay ... So, this chapter came out insanely long. I literally worked on it all day. At this point, my eyes are crossing and I may have some super obvious typos in here I completely missed. If I do, apologies, I'll go back over it tomorrow with fresh eyes and fix them. 
> 
> Anyway, this chapter turned out longer than I thought it would and took a turn I wasn't prepared for, but went with it and liked it. I also altered some gameplay to make it fit better and hope you enjoy that, too. But it's definitely a feels chapter that has the characters dealing with loss in some form or another. It's not the BIG feels chapter, though. Most of you know what I'm talking about, there. That one is coming up, but this one's got a lot in it all on it's own. So I hope you enjoy it and once the eyes and fingers recover, I'll be hard at work on Chapter 9! :) .

The Tower was abuzz with festivities. Colorful engram shaped paper lanterns adorned the Courtyard, strung on long cords that fanned out above the space. Others hung from what had once been a living tree from the old Tower, burned during the Cabal attack, now carefully and expertly preserved and placed in the center of the Tower as part of a commemoration. It was surrounded by dozens of lit purple candles and memorial hologram screens, projecting photos of all those we’d lost this past year. 

I was standing amidst dozens of Guardians and civilians alike, all who were coming and going from the Tower - Guardians mixing in a few treats and the occasional trick or two in between missions. Civilians had come up form the City, bringing children, all who were dressed up, laughing and running about, collecting candy, bringing a life to the Tower that was rarely seen. 

The sorrowful commemorations of those lost, mingled with the joy of everyone still here who had gathered … it was exactly as Eva had said it should be. 

It was also different than I remembered. Busier. Noisier. But, then, I usually watched the Festival from aflar, never immersed myself in it. It wasn’t bad, not by any means. It was actually really nice. Thee was a warmth about it all and, even with the fun and the laughter, you could see the respect people had for loved ones lost and Guardians who had fallen.

My eyes settled on one of the hologram screens near the tree, and I silently watched the faces change every minute or so, the people around me gradually fading away with each face that changed. I eventually found myself transfixed and feeling like I was in a dream, detached from everything and everyone around me. All I could see was the screen, and I felt a sick feeling slowly welling up in my throat getting stronger with each new face, a part of me terrified one of them would be Cayde’s. 

Some part of me had had a horrible and sudden thought of what if the past few weeks hadn’t been real? What if I hadn’t saved him and it was all in my head? Something to help me cope? A reality I’d made up to survive without him?

I was so thankful for our bond. 

As I was standing there, worrying myself over nothing, I felt him nearby, a uniquely tingly, pulling warmth, building within me as he got closer. 

I smiled. 

Strong, yet loving hands, grabbed at my shoulders from behind, and I heard a little ‘Boo!’ in my ear as he gave me a shake.

I laughed and crossed my arms over themselves as I reached up and settled my hands on his, turning to look at him. I startled and jumped a little when, instead of seeing his face, I was confronted with the giant head of a chicken covered by Cayde’s hood, the beak jutting out, nearly poking me in the nose! “What in the hell …?” I uttered, then snorted when it all registered what I was seeing.

“Isn’t it cool?” Cayde asked, voice muffled be the mask, then eased his hood back and took it off before pulling the hood back on. “I can be Colonel for the Festival!” He said, a giddy smile in his voice. “Just gotta find her a little Hunter cloak.”

I chuckled and shook my head, then leaned into his chest and tucked my head under his chin, sighing. He put his arms around me and hugged me. “Havin’ a hard time, pal?” He murmured. 

I knew he’d sensed what I’d been feeling, which was why he’d snuck up on me with the mask. He’d been trying to cheer me up, and it had worked, but it was still so good to lean into him and feel him there; to feel his broad chest under my hand, feel his breath lightly brushing over my face, and just know he was here. “I had a horrible thought that the last few weeks hadn’t been real,” I quietly answered. “That somehow I … that maybe I went crazy and made it all up. Made up you being here because I couldn’t handle losing you.”

I felt his arms tighten around me even more and warm metal lips, as soft and tender as any human’s, kiss my forehead. “You didn’t lose me,” he whispered. “I’m here. I gotchya.”

I smiled and slipped my arms around him, hugging him as we both slowly swayed, rocking each other comfortingly, the people around us forgotten for a little while.

“Where’s Shiro?” I eventually asked, noticing Cayde was alone. 

“He got surrounded by a buncha little ankle-biters dressed as Fallen and started playin’ with ‘em in the Bazaar. Told him I’d go find ya while he hung back. He was havin’ a good time. He doesn’t get to be around kids much and likes ‘em.”

I smiled. That was good. It was what this visit was all about. 

“What did Amanda want?” He asked.

“Petra contacted her.” I lifted my head to look at him. “You remember Master Ives? He was the Cryptarch stationed on the Reef.”

“Yeah, yeah. Only ran inta him a few times. Nice guy, though.”

“He’s dead,” I gently said.

“What?” Cayde frowned. “How?”

I looked around and motioned him to come with me to a more secluded spot, away from people, near the back of the Courtyard. “Amanda said Petra’s Corsairs found the body last night while back on the Reef. He wasn’t killed like the others when Uldren and the Barons went through. This just happened. Within a few days. Throat was slit … and his clothes were taken. Evidence points to Fallen from here on Earth.”

“His clothes?” Cayde frowned. “Like the clothes he had on?”

I nodded. “They stripped the body and left all his other things except the pages from his journal. Tore them out and took them, too. Anything else that would have been of value, though, they left. Petra sent it all to Amanda.”

“So it was personal,” Cayde uttered, glancing off to the side in thought. “Wait,” he said, looking at me again. “Why’s Amanda tellin’ you this? Why didn’t Petra contact us? Or Zavala and Ikora?”

“I don’t know why not Zavala and Ikora, but she didn’t contact us because of the Festival. I think she thought we needed to be alone for now and Amanda said she hated having to come to me because she wanted to do the same but all the Guardians with experience with this stuff are handling other missions and things off-world. The only ones free are younger Guardians who haven’t really …” I frowned.

“Got their hands dirty?” Cayde offered and I nodded. He nodded, too. “Okay. Well … Didn’t really know the guy, but he was always nice to me whenever I ran into him. I feel bad he had to go out like that. If we’re gonna do it, we better get on it before the trail gets cold. Amanda said Fallen from here, right?”

I nodded. 

“Then we start in the EDZ,” Cayde said. “Contact Devrim, see if he’s noticed or heard anything.”

“What about Shiro? He just got here last night. I feel bad.”

Cayde chuckled. “We take him with us. This is right up his alley. Sure it was nothin’ he was expecin’ to be doing while here, but I betchya he’ll want in on it.” 

I smiled a little and nodded. “Alright. Why don’t you go get him, then? I’ll get the journal from Amanda, get hold of Devrim, and get the ship ready.”

Cayde nodded, kissed my cheek, and hurried off, maybe seeming a bit too eager to delve into this. But I figured it was because he saw it as a distraction, wanting to keep busy and not think about other things. I’d talk with him about it later.

 

“There’s been an up-tick in Fallen in the area since last night, I’m afraid,” Devrim said to me over the comms as I sat in the pilots chair of the ship with Ghost, flipping a few switches above my head, prepping it. “Been having a right devil of a time with them, too. Could be the ones you’re looking for.”

“We’ll be in the area soon, take care of them for you,” I told him.

“We?” Devrim asked in a curious and surprised tone. “Don’t you always work alone?”

I smirked. “Cayde’s coming with me. And Shiro.”

“Shiro? Shiro-4? Form Felwinter?” Devrim asked.

“Yeah, he’s visiting and Cayde says this is up his alley, so we’ll be our own little Fireteam for this one,” I smiled.

“So Cayde is actually coming down from the Tower, eh? And I get to meet him face to face? This will be a delight. I’ll have to put on a pot of tea.”

“You’ve never met Cayde in person? Not even at the Farm?” I asked. I hadn’t realized that.

“No. I’d headed out here before he made his way there. Our paths never crossed, I’m afraid. Only ever had all the pleasure over the comms. Suraya speaks highly of him, though, despite his tendency to get under ones skin from time to time. Personally, I think she’s got a bit of a crush on the ol’ boy.”

I paused in what I was doing, glancing at the comm speaker. “What?” I asked, feeling a twinge of protective jealousy I couldn’t help. Damn. Cayde was going to pick up on that.

I noticed Ghost glance at me as Devrim continued. “Ever since the war, when she talks about working with him on patrols, she has that little playful tone about her voice I’ve not heard since she had a crush on a boy she used to go to school with.”

“Huh,” I uttered. I felt sort of bad about it, actually. It never felt good when you had a crush, only to find out they were already taken. And Hawthorne must not have known. 

Or, either that, she did, and was going to try to win him over.

No. No. I wasn’t going to think that way. That was stupid. 

I decided not to tell Devrim Cayde was spoken for, thinking it would be better to talk to Cayde about it first, so I shifted my attention back to the Fallen “Oh, the, uh, Fallen you’ve been dealing with? Did you happen to see what House they’re from?”

“Looks to be the House of Dusk, just like the rest,” Devrim said. “Nothing stood out, other than noticing the numbers go up over the past few days. Wasn’t sure what they were up to until now.”

“Okay. We’ll be there soon,” I told him and closed out the comm, finishing getting the ship ready. 

“Well … this is an interesting development,” Ghost remarked, having stayed quiet the whole time Devrim and I had been talking.

“Don’t say anything to Cayde, okay? I’ll tell him about it later,” I said. “Knowing him, he doesn’t even know.”

Ghost bobbed a nod. 

 

By the time Cayde stepped on board with Shiro a couple minutes later, I had things all set.

“What took you so long?” I asked, smirking over my shoulder at them as they came up behind Ghost and me.

“Part way here, Cayde insisted we needed very important provisions and brought us back to the Bazaar, only to buy chocolate,” Shiro said.

“What?” I chuckled just as Cayde squeezed between our seats and took the one to my right, handing me a parchment wrapped bar. “You bought me chocolate?” I asked, smiling, taking it.

He winked at me and my smile broadened as he started buckling himself into his seat. “Okay, so, we all set to go? Everyone had a potty break?”

Shiro and I both snorted and, once Shiro was all buckled in as well, we got the all-clear from the Tower controllers and headed for the EDZ.

 

“Been a while since I’ve been out this way,” Shiro said, looking out the window down at the EDZ below. “Can definitely see the difference with the Cabal insurgency.”

“Yeah, they’ve been stubborn pains in the rear. Really dug in and refuse to leave, even with Ghaul outta the picture,” Cayde said, looking down out his side of the ship.

“Is that a Firebase set up over there?” Shiro asked, pointing off to the north-west at the massive structure jutting up from the tree line off in the distance, just to the left of the equally massive shard of the Traveler. 

“Firebase Hades, yup,” Cayde nodded. “Stretches all along the coast.”

“Wow. You weren’t kidding. They really are dug in,” Shiro uttered. “Have they been doing anything with the shard?”

“Fallen claimed that territory. But Ais could tell ya better than me. She’s been down there,” Cayde said. “That’s where she went to get her Light back.”

“Yeah, you told me about that,” Shiro said and I smirked.

“You were talking about me, huh?” I asked Cayde.

“He’s talked about you every time he had me on the comms over the past year,” Shiro said before Cayde could answer. “When he contacted me this last time and invited me to come visit and mentioned that he found ‘the one’ and was ‘gettin’ hitched’’, I knew it was you before he even said a name.”

I gave Cayde a sideways glance, smiling, and he looked at me shyly before clearing his throat and turning his attention out the window. “Ooooh, looks like they got trouble. Parta the wall’s on fire. Must be that Fireteam Zavala sent in this morning.”

“Nice diversion,” I smirked.

“Thank you,” Cayde smugly replied, then blindly reached over and took my hand, kissing the back of it.

 

When we transmatted down near the old church, we could hear the echoing crack of gunfire from Devrim’s rifle as we approached, a couple Fallen Lieutenants screeching and dropping to the ground mid-charge toward us. Once inside, I led Cayde and Shiro up the makeshift wooden planking to the top of the church tower where Devrim had his outpost set up.

“Ah, made it in one piece, I see,” Devrim said, shouldering his rifle as we approached him. “Cayde, good to finally meet you,” he greeted, holding his hand out.

“Dev, buddy, about time, huh?” Cayde greeted, taking Devrim’s hand, giving it a friendly shake.

I chuckled at the interaction, knowing Cayde could try Devrim’s rather stiff and proper patience at times but they still got on pretty well. “This is Shiro,” I said, gesturing to him as he stepped forward to shake Devrim’s hand as well. “Old friend of Cayde’s here for a visit. He’s quite knowledgeable about the Fallen.”

“Mmm, yes, so I gathered by his cloak,” Devrim nodded, shaking Shiro’s hand. “House of Kings, yes?”

Shiro nodded. “Yeah. My first mission out in the Wilds with Cayde. He was still teaching me how to fight them. Went in to save a village they’d raided and taken over. Killed a lot of good people that lived there. The House of Kings could be really nasty. We won, though, and Cayde pulled the banner down, reclaiming the village. Kept it and made the cloak for me.” 

I smiled, feeling a soft tingle deep in my chest. I didn’t know that story. I was going to have to get Shiro or Cayde to tell me more.

Cayde must have sensed what I felt and looked over at me, smiling a little.

“Ah, so you’re his protégé, then?” Devrim remarked and Shiro nodded. “Tell me, has he always been so trying?”

I snorted and Shiro chuckled while Cayde looked playfully wounded. “You love me,” he told Devrim.

“Love is a strong word, ol’ boy,” Devrim dryly said but with a fond twinkle in his eye. “I was going to make some tea but I’m afraid these bloody Fallen have been a right distraction. Perhaps after you’ve taken care of business?”

I nodded. 

“Right then,” Devrim said. “I’ve seen a great deal of them landing here but Scouts have reported the main activity around the Whispered Falls. Might be a good place to start.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Cayde nodded. 

“We’ll have to be extra careful. The Pike Gangs run the road between here and there. Make sure you’re armed while riding your Sparrows,” I told them.

“Aren’t you gonna ride with me?” Cayde asked and I noticed Devrim frown ever so slightly but, thankfully, he didn’t say anything. 

“Well, if you insist,” I smiled. “You’re a better shot than me at those speeds, though. I’ll drive, you shoot,” I told him.

 

“So, um … you gonna tell me what’s botherin’ ya?” Cayde asked as he got on the Sparrow behind me, slipping one arm around me, holding the Ace of Spades ready in his other hand.

“Later,” I told him. “It’s nothing horrible. But now’s not the time.”

“I’m not in trouble, am I?”

I chuckled. “No, handsome.”

“Oh, good.”

“Ready?” Shiro asked, revving up his own Sparrow, waiting for us to lead the way. I gave a nod and Cayde and I took off for the Outskirts, Shiro right behind us.

 

Of course, we did end up running into one of the Pike Gangs patrolling the area and, while Shiro ran circles around them, drawing their attention and fire, Cayde was able to knock all three off in a few quick shots before we continued on our way.

When we got to the caves, we made our way through, taking out the Fallen that littered the entrance and pathway inside, looking around for anything that might help us in our search.

“Oh, ho, baby, I love watching you punch stuff!” Cayde cheered as I knocked a cloaked Lieutenant down, killing it.

I smiled at him.

“Hey, Cayde? Aislin? Look at this,” Shiro called.

We went over to where he was and saw a Fallen teleporter with a staff affixed to the side and Ives robes draped from it like a prized animal hide, the House of Dusk insignia painted on it. I frowned in disgust and shook my head. “Definitely personal,” Cayde muttered.

“Hey, these look like some of the journal pages,” Shiro said, looking over some stuff left behind on top of some crates covered in an old tattered House of Devils banner. He picked them up, looking them over. “They’re encrypted, though. Can’t make them out.”

I looked at the pages then back at the teleporter with Ives’s robes hanging from it. I went over to it and activated the console, everything coming up in Eliksni. “Cayde? Shiro? Can you make this out?”

Both of them came over, Shiro behind my right shoulder, Cayde on my left. “Uh, oh,” Shiro uttered. “This things coordinates are set to the Cosmodrome.” 

“What?” Cayde asked, then scoffed. “No. That’s the Moon.”

“No, no. You’re reading it backwards. You always forget and read the coordinates backwards,” Shiro told him. “Locations are read left to right, coordinates right to left. See?” He said, pointing at the screen. “That’s the symbol for space,” he instructed Cayde, touching one symbol. “And that’s a symbol for a launching ship,” he added, moving his finger to the left. “Cosmodrome.”

“That’s not the symbol for the Moon?” Cayde asked, frowning. 

“Again, left and right, Cayde,” Shiro said. “The space symbol is the planet with the crescent on the left, Moon symbol has the crescent on the right.”

“Huh,” Cayde uttered. “Good thing you came with us. I’d’ve had us traipsin’ all over Luna.”

Shiro chuckled and looked at me. “Sure you want to marry him? I mean, he can’t even read basic Eliksni. Useless,” he affectionately teased his mentor.

“Yeah, uh, huh,” Cayde uttered, glaring at Shiro as he rubbed his eyebrow with a pointed middle finger.

I couldn’t help laughing at the two of them but then grew serious. “Problem we have here, though, is Zavala quarantined Old Russia after the SIVA incident. Technically we can’t go there.”

“Technically, I’m a Vanguard, so I’m givin’ us permission,” Cayde said.

“But he’s the Commander. He will rip you up one side and down the other,” I warned. This wasn’t like landing a ship on the Dreadnaught without authorization. This was a quarantine zone with some seriously bad stuff lurking around. Zavala would be _pissed_.

Cayde held up a finger to me then opened up the comms. “Amanda?”

“Hey! Find anything?” She asked him.

“Yeah, but we got a little problem … There’s a teleporter here. Whoever we’re lookin’ for … they’re in the Cosmodrome,” Cayde told her.

“The Cosmodrome?! Oh my cotton socks,” she uttered and I arched an eyebrow at Cayde, wondering who taught who that line. 

“Yeah,” Cayde said. “Can ya help us out?”

“Uuuh … sit tight a sec,” she told him and we waited a few moments before she came back on. “Okay, I got it set so I can scramble your location as soon as you get over there. Do me a solid and stick to the wall?”

“Yeah, yeah. No problem,” Cayde told her.

“Cayde. I’m serious. If Zavala finds out …”

“He won’t find out. Trust me,” Cayde assured her. “We’ll go in, bang, bang, bad guys dead, Ives’s killers taken’ care of, home for dinner. Zavala none-the-wiser.”

Shiro glanced at me with some doubt and I hated to admit it but Cayde’s optimism sometimes got him into trouble. For Amanda’s sake though, I’d make sure he stuck to the wall.

“Right,” Amanda sighed. “Just be careful and get the bastards that did this. I’ll keep ya covered.”

“Got it," Cayde nodded and ended the comm. “Ready?” He asked us and we nodded, Shiro locking in the coordinates to activate the transmat.

“Here we go,” I uttered and stepped through.

 

As soon as we materialized on the other side and I got my bearings, I felt a strange and eerie sense of déjà vu. “Wait. Are we …?” Ghost asked and I nodded. “Yeah,” I uttered.

“What?” Cayde asked and looked around. “Hold on ... is there where you-?”

I nodded. “Yeah. But after, not now,” I told him and motioned them both to follow. “We’ve got something more important to take care of.”

Cayde paused and I noticed he was cranking up the thermal regulator on his armor. It was overcast, the skies grey, and it was snowing. It didn’t surprise me. “Cold?” I asked.

He nodded.

Shiro frowned. “You … you’re cold?” He asked Cayde, sounding stunned.

“Long story we were savin’ for tonight. We’ll tell ya then,” Cayde nodded.

I held my hand up for them to be quiet and motioned off to my left. We had Fallen. Cayde and Shiro both nodded as soon as they spotted them and we crouched down, using the old rusted cars for cover as we closed in on them. 

Shiro pulled out one of his kit-bashed sniper rifles, deciding it best to keep this quiet and not draw attention. Unfortunately, it didn’t really matter because not much further down the path, we were ambushed by Dregs and Shanks climbing over cars and shooting at us through windowless openings. Shiro and Cayde both made use of their knives while I did a lot of punching, slowly working our way down the path to the wall as best we could. “Big Shank off to the right, watch out!” I told them.

“I got it,” Shiro said just as his body began crackling with Arc energy, a blue staff forming in his hand. He dashed over to the Shank and started attacking it, the tips of the staff slicing into the Shank’s metal like a hot knife through butter while Cayde and I finished off the remaining Dregs.

A low robotic groan echoed through the air, followed by and explosion and Cayde and I both looked over to see the Shank’s main body spinning around on the show-covered ground before it sparked and exploded again, Shiro perched on the roof of a small side building, waiting to make sure it was fully destroyed.

I felt pride washing over Cayde as he looked at the now scrap pieces of Shank then up at Shiro, giving him a thumbs-up. 

Shiro nodded and hopped down.

“This way,” I told them and led them up some stairs through a small metal door that led into the walls. 

I hadn’t been back in here in a long time. It felt surreal and I kept looking around, expecting Fallen to be crawling through the walls or jump out at us from around tight corners like they used to. “Boy does this bring back memories,” Ghost muttered as we made our way over a metal grated catwalk.

“Something go down here?” Shiro asked.

“I was reborn a Guardian where we transmatted in,” I told him. “This was where I ran to to get away from the Fallen chasing us.”

“Oh,” Shiro said, sounding intrigued. “Beats running off a cliff, I suppose.”

“I told you, it was dark,” Cayde sighed.

“Hey, where is Sundance by the way? Haven’t seen her at all,” Shiro said and I felt an immediate pang in Cayde as he came to a sudden stop, his whole body rigid and frozen. I quickly turned around and reached for him, setting my hand on his arm as he stared down at the grate at his feet, not even breathing.

“Whoa, Cayde?” Shiro asked, setting a hand on his shoulder. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

Cayde’s eyes lifted and he looked at me helplessly and I nodded. “It’s okay,” I assured him, moving my hand to his cheek, caressing it. “It’s okay.” I looked at Shiro. “Now’s not the time but I promise we’ll explain everything after. Okay?”

The concern on Shiro’s face was obvious. I knew him seeing Cayde shaken like this wasn’t a normal thing for him, but he gave a nod before looking at his former mentor again.

Cayde was still rigid and seemed to be struggling to hold himself together while getting a far away look in his eyes. “Hey, hey,” I whispered, caressing his cheek again. “Who am I?” I softly asked. 

He looked at me. “A-Ais,” he whispered back in a thin voice.

I nodded. “And what are we doing?”

“Finding … Finding Ives’s killer.”

“Right,” I nodded. “Focus on that, okay? I’m right here,” I assured.

He nodded and managed to take a breath and relax some. 

“Come on. We need to keep moving,” I told him.

I noticed Shiro looking at Cayde with worry and he stayed close to him as we moved through the darkened maze that was laid out before us the further in we went. I had no doubt Shiro figured Sundance was dead and was trying to figure out why in the hell Cayde would be running missions without a Ghost. Likely why he was suddenly sticking close to him now.

When we reached the next set of stairs, the radar began glowing red ahead of us and Cayde managed to snap out of wherever he’d gone and get himself together giving me a nod as he crouched down, ready. As I peered up over the crest of the steps, I saw the back of a crouched Fallen holding an Arc charged naginata spear. I raised my rifle and shot it in the back of the head, then took out the two others that came form the sides, charging us. Once the area was clear, we stepped out. I noticed it was now all opened up, the roof gone, and the space down beyond the railing covered with snow. I glanced over to my right and smiled at the grated security door covering the entrance there.

“What?” Cayde asked.

My smile broadened as I looked at him. “Just through there? That’s where I found my first gun.”

“And, surprisingly, you seemed to know how to use it perfectly,” Ghost commented from my pack.

Cayde’s mood brightened and he smiled. “Doesn’t surprise me.”

“Okay, I’m sorry … Cayde, what the hell?!” Shiro asked. “I know, this is a lousy place and time, but why - ” He looked around and lowered his voice . “Why are you out here with no Ghost?!” He whispered with urgency. “One of the major rules you taught me was ‘No Ghost, no go’.”

“I have a Ghost,” Cayde said, turning to look at him and Shiro leaned his head back in surprise, now looking even more confused. “Just … not … Sundance,” Cayde finished.

Shiro blinked.

“I know, I know. It … Look, I promise, we’ll explain it all, but … you don’t have to be glued to my side,” he told Shiro, smiling a little. “I’m well looked-after.”

Shiro looked at me and I nodded. 

“I …” Shiro shook his head, pinching a non-existent nose, and sighed. “O-okay.” 

We moved further in, following the snowy path, soon finding more Fallen coming in, swarming us. Cayde ran out and leaped into the air, his body lighting up in flames as he spun around, sending out a Blade Barrage, eliminating all the Fallen around us. It was, really, an unnecessary use of his super, but I was sure he’d only done it to prove to Shiro he really did still have his Light and to not worry. Shiro confirmed that when he looked at me, seeming surprised yet again, and I smiled and nodded.

“See? I’m fine,” Cayde said, arms out like all was well, just before Dreg snuck out from behind a rusted metal pipe and stabbed him in the side. Cayde yelled in pain as I gasped, startled, Shiro jumping a little. Cayde spun around and glared at the Dreg. “You son-of-a-!” He pulled his knife out and, in a single deft move, took the Dreg’s head right off, a wail and puff of ether the last sound it made before its body dropped to the ground.

I ran over to Cayde and grabbed him as he stumbled, falling into me, holding his side, wincing in pain. “Ooooh, see? That’s what I get for … makin’ a point,” he wheezed. I pulled the pack around and Ghost healed him from his cover. 

“I think you just wanted an excuse to fall into my arms,” I teased as Ghost finished up, Shiro watching us but also keeping a lookout.

Cayde chuckled. “I don’t think I need an excuse for that.”

I affectionately tapped the tip of his horn with my finger and helped him to his feet.

“We should get inside,” Shiro said, pointing to an open doorway at the top of a fallen ramp. 

It was pitch black inside, so Ghost activated the light on my helmet as soon as we were in, the light illuminating more Fallen insignias painted on the walls. “More House of Dusk, just like what was on Ives’s clothes,” Cayde said, looking at it.

“Seems we’re in the right place, then,” Shiro said with a nod.

We went further down a hallway and came to a wall in front of us with more painted graffiti. “What House is that from?” I asked, not recognizing it.

“That’s not a House,” Shiro said, shaking his head. “It’s a warning. Basically means - excuse my phrasing - ‘fuck off or die’.”

“So noted,” I nodded, and kept moving. 

We came out into an area with gigantic green metal beams, slanted and secured into the flooring, holding up the structure of the inside wall to the Cosmodrome. I recognized it. I’d been in here before, too. I knew, to the right, led into a ventilation shaft that brought you back outside to the Divide. Things were a bit different in here now, though. Looked like House of Dusk had been making themselves right at home, even using old House of Devils banners lain on their sides as both a signal they’d concurred the House and a as decoration. 

“Well, this is homey,” Cayde said, looking around. 

“Homey, yes, but I’m getting the feeling we aren’t too welcome,” I said, tilting my head to some Dregs that peeked out around some crates. They screeched and started tossing shock bombs at us. 

“Ow,” Cayde grumbled, getting zapped by one in the foot. “Those are really, really annoying, you know?” He called to the Dregs, one of who garbled a response, shaking a fist at him.

Cayde glanced back at Shiro.

“Basically what the symbol back at the door said,” he replied.

“Figured as much,” Cayde nodded, then lifted his gun and blew the Dregs head off.

This, of course, sent the others into a frenzy, and we soon had our hands full, darting around the space as we shot any Fallen head that came into our sights.

Soon enough, the tell-tale groan of an annoyed Captain signaled its arrival as it crawled out of a huge hole in the wall. “We got company! Big company!” I said, punching a Shank that got too close. “And he’s got a Molten Welder, watch it!” I said, jumping out of the way of a few rounds that came flying in my direction. I heard Shiro’s cannon going off, hitting the Captain in the chest a few times, knocking him back. The Captain roared and slammed his foot down, shaking the whole area. 

“Ooooooh, hoho! He’s pissed now!” Shiro said, reloading as he jumped out of the way. Cayde went sliding into the area and sliced the Captain along the backs of his thighs, making him roar and screech in pain.

“Now he’s _really_ pissed!” Cayde laughed, summersaulting out of the way, behind some crates.

Shiro started shooting again, taking over, while Cayde holstered his knife and pulled his cannon back out. I loved watching the way they worked together, so clearly falling back into a familiar routine from long ago. I could feel the elation within Cayde, the earlier sadness now drowned out. It made me feel so good to see him like this and know it was helping.

I’d ended up laying down cover fire and using my hammer, keeping the Dregs off Cayde and Shiro while they both worked together to bring the Fallen Captain down. We thought we were doing good, too, until a giant Servitor appeared out of the same hole the Captain had come out of and started not only shooting at us but shielding Dregs, making them harder to take out.

“Damn it!” Cayde cursed. “Babe!” He yelled and tossed me a grenade launcher as he and Shiro both called up their Light and started laying into the Captain with all they had while I used the grenade launcher on the Servitor. It figured us out, though, and moved over to the Captain, abandoning shielding the Dregs, and shielded it instead. “Keep firing!” Shiro told me as he ran at the Servitor and gave it a couple good swipes with his staff before his Light wore down. Meanwhile, Cayde had managed to climb to a high point and started hitting the Servitor with the strongest bullets he had from his sniper, knocking it back and wearing it down until he managed to short it out, sending it into shrieking spin before it exploded. “Yeah! Take that ya big ball of nasty!” He cheered.

“Captain!” I called, just as he came lumbering at me, gun raised.

“Oh! Right!” Cayde said, then helped Shiro and I finish him off.

When it was over and the area was clear, we all took a moment to lean back against a wall and catch our breaths. “Well … that was fun,” Cayde said.

Shiro nodded, glancing up at the ceiling. “You and I haven’t done that in a looooong time.” He held his hand out, palm up, and Cayde slapped it before they fist-bumped. “Good job, pal,” he said to Cayde.

“You, too, buddy,” Cayde replied.

I leaned back and just watched them, smiling softly, finding their friendship incredibly special. Shiro definitely needed to visit more, and I was going to make it a point to get Cayde out to Felwinter Peak more, too because it was clear they’d both missed each other.

While the two of them rested, I contacted Amanda letting her know it was done. 

“That’s it, huh? You got ‘em,” she said.

I nodded. “Yeah. But there’s nothing here that would suggest _why_ they killed him, though. Unless it’s part of something bigger we just don’t know yet. We’ll have to tell Petra to have her Corsairs keep a sharp eye for anything else.”

“Right,” Holliday replied. “Okay. Y’all get back to that teleporter when ya can. I don’t think my little trick is gonna fool Zavala twice, so … This might be the last time you ever set foot in the Cosmodrome. See you back in the Tower.”

I nodded and ended the comm.

“Last time, eh?” Cayde asked, coming over to me, leaning back against the metal wall beside me, gently bumping my shoulder with his. “How ‘bout we take a little walk, then?” He suggested, glancing at me and I knew what he was asking. 

I gave him a nod and walked back out with him and Shiro, pulling my helmet off once we were outside, shaking my hair out. Despite the bitter cold, I closed my eyes and breathed in the air, feeling the snowflakes lightly sting my skin as they landed on my cheeks. 

“So this is it, huh?” Cayde asked, looking around.

I nodded and reached over, taking Cayde’s hand in mine, Ghost materializing between us, then led him up the hill, Shiro silently following. 

When we got to the crest, a few steps from where we’d come in, I brought Cayde over to the right of the path and crouched down with him amidst the rusted metal of what was once a car. The roof was gone, eroded away with time, and only part of the car was visible, the bottom part, just below what was once the dash, having long ago sunk into the earth, most of it also eroded, the rest looking almost melted. I cupped my hand and scooped and pulled away the snow that covered the spot on the drivers side, gradually revealing the dirt and tan, frozen, dead grass underneath but also something else. The indent in the ground where my body had once been, now slightly more filled in and covered, but part of it still clearly there.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and looked up to see Shiro softly smile and give me a little pat before nodding. He glanced over at Cayde. “I’ll meet you both back in the cave,” he murmured. He’d have been welcome to stay but I think he felt a bit like he was intruding on something he felt should be just between Cayde and I, so let us be, stepping onto the transmat and disappearing.

Cayde watched him go, then settled on his knees as he looked over at me. I smiled a little and glanced up at Ghost.

“I had been searching for … Well … I honestly don’t know. A long, long time,” he quietly told Cayde. “There were times I thought I should give up … that maybe I would never find my Guardian. I had been everywhere. Even … beyond here. Every place I could possibly think to look.” He was quiet for a moment, shaking himself back and forth a little, as if shaking his head. “Somehow, I found myself back here - of all places. I’d been here before, early on … but nothing had ever given me that pull I felt when I finally came to this exact spot.” He looked down at the indent in the ground, already starting to be covered again by the falling snow. “She was … partly buried in the ground … her upper body - what was left of her bones - laying out through the window … as if she’d been trapped and trying to get out but … didn’t make it.”

Cayde looked down at the spot on the dash that had been melted then over at me, wincing, but I just offered him another bit of a smile and nodded. I’d heard Ghost tell me this before and while part of me wanted to know who I’d once been and what exactly had happened to me … remembering being burned alive wasn’t part of it.

“I don’t know how I knew her name. I just did. The moment I brought her back, I knew it,” Ghost continued, looking at Cayde. “Just like I knew there was something special about her. Something unique.” He drifted down closer to Cayde so he was eye-level with him and spoke to him face to face. “It could all just be a coincidence … but I’m more inclined to believe it took me so long to find her because the timing needed to be right … for you.” Cayde blinked at him, obviously not knowing what to say. He looked past Ghost at me, then down at the ground and settled his fingers in the groove where my body had been left for so long, slowly tracing the shapes of the edges and dip in the center as if committing it all to memory.

He then huffed a bit of a chuckle. “Figures Solar is the part of the Light you connect with so well.”

I smiled again and he looked over at me then reached out and pulled me into a hug as best he could, my shoulder pads making it a little difficult. I wrapped my arms around him and held him close in return, resting my head on his shoulder, feeling nothing but warmth, despite the chill all around us.

“You don’t remember anything?” He whispered and I shook my head. He nodded. “Good,” he said then eased back after a moment. “I mean … not good but … good that you don’t … don’t remember … that.” He looked down at the melted part of the car again.

I nodded. “I know what you meant,” I murmured.

He looked at me and reached up, lightly caressing my cold cheek with the backs of his fingers. “I’m sorry … what happened to you. Even if you can’t remember it. I’m still sorry,” he quietly said. 

“I’m not,” I replied, taking his hand in mine before kissing the backs of his fingers. He looked at me, frowning, and I softly smiled. “It led me to you.”

His shoulders sagged a little and he tilted his head, shaking it a bit as he tenderly smiled at me. “Ais …”

“Trust me,” I nodded, “I’ve thought about this for a long time. You’re worth it, Cayde. You’re worth it.”

His mouth opened a little and I saw the faintest shimmer of tears just forming in his eyes before he closed his mouth and pulled me back into a hug.

 

We sat together in the cold snow holding each other for what seemed like forever and, yet, somehow, not long enough.

Eventually, Cayde took a breath and slowly let it out, then eased back and looked at me, frowning. “You’re Awoken,” he stated.

I nodded.

“But …” He looked down at the car. “If … the Awoken didn’t appear until after the Collapse … how …?” He frowned.

“Ghost and I came up with two theories,” I said. “Either I was human and somehow became Awoken through the resurrection process - the why for that we’re not sure or even if it’s possible for that to happen - or … I was born Awoken here on Earth and was out here for some reason and died in this car.”

Ghost bobbed an affirmative and Cayde frowned, thinking about the two scenarios before he nodded. “So … whether you were human once or not, you kept that key you found here because, if you were human, it might mean it was something of yours. If not, it was from where you died so, either way, you had something important to you.”

I nodded. “What I was, though, isn’t important to me. Nor is what I once did, where I lived, or who I was. All I know is, I woke up here and the path led me to you. That’s all that matters to me.”

He took my hand and lanced our fingers together, closing his eyes, and sighed, his breath trembling as he shook his head. “I still don’t know why me. But what I do know is, I’m never lettin’ you go.”

I leaned forward and pressed our foreheads together, closing my eyes as well. “I’m never letting you go, either,” I whispered back and felt him give my hand a squeeze.

 

Eventually, Cayde, Ghost, and I bid farewell to the Cosmodrome and joined Shiro back in the cave. After making our way out, we met up with Devrim to explain what had happened over a cup of tea, then flew back to the Tower. I had to admit, I was a little worried we were going to get off the ship and see a very angry Zavala standing there to rip us a new one but, instead - and thankfully - it was just Amanda, who we gave the pages of Ives’s journal to so she could return them to Petra.

With the ship secured and the sun now set, the Tower was lit up from all the lanterns and candles, and spooky sounds softly echoed over the Courtyard from the speakers. We noticed Zavala’s post was empty and I glanced at Cayde who shrugged. 

Making our way home, we passed through the Bazaar and saw Ikora’s usual post was empty as well. Cayde frowned. “That Fireteam was out takin’ care of the Cabal earlier. Maybe somethin’ happened.” 

The laughter and giggles of a few children still in the Tower filled the space, most of whom were with heir parents, sitting down to dinner they’d got from the Ramen shop or one of the other vendors set up for the Festival. Others still seeking out candy and playing with friends while their parents took a much needed break, sitting down in the common areas, chatting amongst themselves. Cayde looked around, not seeing Ikora anywhere, or Zavala, so he ducked us into an alley off to the side and opened up his comms. “Ikora? Zavala? Anyone there?”

There was silence for a few beats before Ikora quietly answered. “Yes, Cayde?”

“Hey, is everything alright?” Cayde asked. “We didn’t see either of you out here.”

“We’re fine,” Ikora softly replied. “Zavala just needed … time. And a friend. And a lot of scotch.”

“Oh. Do, uh … should I, uh …?”

“No,” Ikora murmured, her tone still soft and holding a kind warmth to it. “I’m with him. Be with Aislin and Shiro.”

“You sure?” Cayde asked, and I could sense he felt bad he hadn’t been here for Zavala.

“I’m sure,” Ikora told him. “Goodnight, Cayde.”

“Goodnight,” Cayde replied, and the comm ended. He looked at me.

“Zavala okay?” Shiro asked. “Did something happen?”

“Festival of the Lost,” Cayde quietly said, then looked at him. “He’s just … dealin’ with stuff.”

Shiro nodded and I rubbed Cayde’s arm. “She’s got him,” I assured him. “Come on. Let’s go home.” He nodded and we made our way back to the apartment.

After the three of us cleaned up and changed into some comfortable clothes and ate, Cayde got a fire going in the fireplace and I made some hot chocolate for them, topping each mug off with dollops of whipped cream and a cinnamon stick, and brought them out to the living room. Shiro was laid back in a plush, armless lounge chair, his Ghost laying with him at his shoulder, both of them taking in the warmth and soft crackle of the fire, and Cayde settled on the couch, waiting for me to join him. 

I handed Shiro his mug first, getting a happily surprised thank you from him as he sat up to drink it, then brought Cayde his. He smiled up at me, taking it, and sipped it, sighing at the warmth and sweet richness. Shiro and I both chuckled at him and he looked at us, confused. “What?” 

“You have yourself a whipped cream mustache, bud,” Shiro told him as I sat down beside Cayde. Ghost floated over and stared at him just as Cayde looked down toward his lips, crosseyed. When he realized Ghost was just hovering there, he snaked his tongue out and licked the cream off, then pointed a finger at our Little Light. “If just one photo makes its way into public view, I’m turnin’ you into a doorstop,” he warned.

Ghost actually chuckled and floated over to the shelves nearby, where there was a little basket Cayde had bought just for him, along with a special little scarf of his own that he settled into, wiggling until he was comfortable.

“So …” Shiro sighed and looked over at Cayde. “You two going to tell me what happened?”

Cayde sipped a little more of his hot chocolate then stared into the cup as if it held the answers to the universe. “You remember I was helpin’ Petra out with Reef stuff in my off time?” He asked Shiro.

“Mm hm,” Shiro nodded, watching Cayde as he drank.

“We had those Barons to deal with?”

“Yeah, you said Uldren went crazy and attacked his people with them. That’s what led to the Reef falling apart before you caught all of them and locked them up,” Shiro said.

“Mmm,” Cayde nodded. “Well, uh … They got out,” he said and I noticed Shiro sit up a little straighter. 

"From super max?” Shiro asked, frowning like that was impossible. “How?”

Cayde shook his head. “We’re still lookin’ into it. But, uh … anyway … Petra got hold of me and let me know the prisoners were loose and things had gone to shit. None of us knew about Uldren and the Barons. We all thought it was a riot, not a break. So, uh … Ais and I went out there. Figured we’d round ‘em all up and get things back online. Easy-peasy. Only it, uh … it wasn’t.”

Shiro frowned. “What happened?”

“I was stupid,” Cayde muttered. “I was me. I thought I had it all under control, y’know? So I dropped down a good fifty stories on the central security hub, not waitin’ for Ais or Petra. Busted through the bottom of the prison, went out in a ball of fire. Thought it’d make for a helluva good story later.”

Shiro smiled a little and nodded.

“I was so overly confident I had it, I didn’t realize they weren’t only waitin’ for me, but I’d dropped myself right down in the middle of ‘em,” Cayde said and set his cup down on the coffee table before pulling his legs up to his chest, hugging them and resting his chin on his knees as he stared off into the fire. “Swarmed me with Scorn from every direction. Got a good number of ‘em with my blades but when I tried to get them with he Ace …”. He shook his head. “There were too many. Got me good but I fought back. Was pretty beat up though. And then I … I …” His eyes welled up and he pressed his face into his knees. “I’m sorry, I can’t,” he barely managed to tell me as I put my arms around him, letting him lean into me.

Shiro set his cup down and got up, coming over to sit on the other side of Cayde, resting his hand on Cayde’s shoulder. “Hey, it’s … it’s okay,” he assured, then looked at me as if to silently ask what the hell had happened.

I pressed a soft kiss to the side of Cayde’s head. “Do you want me to finish it?” I gently asked and he gave a little nod, not looking up. “Okay,” I nodded and rubbed his back as I looked at Shiro. “One of the Barons, Pirrha, had a specially made weapon. He waited for Cayde to call Sundance to heal him. When Cayde did …” I pressed my lips together and shook my head. 

Shiro’s mouth fell open a little and he looked at Cayde and moved his hand form his shoulder to the back of Cayde’s neck, giving him a gentle squeeze. “But if Sundance is …”

“Somehow, the love I feel for Cayde … when it happened … his Light passed through me. But it didn’t leave. Not all of it.” I held my bottom lip between my teeth as it was my turn to look into the fire, searching for the right words. “Reksis Vahn put Cayde through a reinforced concrete wall. By the time I got down to him …”. I shook my head. “His body was so badly damaged it shut down. We thought he’d died. But he’d gone into some kind of coma. Apparently, if Exo bodies get damaged enough, the body shuts down to divert all that’s left to keeping the brain going until the repairs can be made. But it’s not long. Three days at the most. And we don’t have the technology to repair him.”

“Then how …?” Shiro asked.

“The Deep Stone Crypt,” Cayde murmured, not lifting his head.

Shiro’s eyes went impossibly huge. He looked at Cayde, then at me. “What?”

I nodded. “Cayde found it. And it was the only shot we had at saving him. So I went to it and, with Ana Bray’s help, we got in and got the med-lab running. Ikora and Zavala brought him and we put him back together. Once his body was fixed, the neural and cerebral connections were re-established and … he woke up.”

Shiro looked dumbfounded, shaking his head before looking down at Cayde again. “You … You almost really died? _Real_ death?” He asked and Cayde finally lifted his head and looked at him, nodding. Shiro looked a mix of still shocked, maybe a little angry, and like he was going to cry. He shook his head again, then he grabbed Cayde and pulled him into a hug, startling Cayde at first, who gasped as he was enveloped in Shiro’s arms. “You know you’re … you’re the only person close to any kind of family I got?” Shiro asked him. “You were more than just my teacher and friend, you were … were like a … like a fa - ” He closed his eyes and shook his head, hugging Cayde tighter. “Don’t do that again,” he said. “Please?”

Cayde not only looked absolutely stunned by what Shiro had confessed, but he felt it as well. He looked over at me, wide-eyed, and shook his head as he snapped himself out of his stupor and sat up straighter, putting his arms around Shiro, nodding. “I’m sorry,” he murmured. “But I promise. Okay?”

Shiro nodded. “Okay,” he said, resting his head on Cayde’s shoulder, sighing. “If you had teeth, I’d knock ‘em down your throat right now for being so stupid,” he murmured. 

Cayde nodded and chuckled a little. “And I’d deserve it.”

“Yup,” Shiro replied.

Despite the sombre feel of the moment, the bit of lightheartedness between them made me smile. And while both men were shaken, it was clear they cared about each other very much. Shiro would have been devastated if anything had happened to Cayde and I think Cayde hadn’t realized just how much, let alone that Shiro saw him as a father-figure in some capacity. 

After a little while, I got up and and kissed the top of Cayde’s head and whispered to him I was going to bed, deciding to let them have some time together alone. Shiro seemed to need that and Cayde would likely do well from it, too. He gave me a bit of a nod and winked at me before I headed upstairs.

 

I must have nodded off because I didn’t even hear Cayde come up. What made me realize he was there was his weight dipping the mattress beside me and the slight tug on the sheets. I looked over my shoulder, seeing him getting in, pausing when he saw I was looking at him. “Sorry,” he whispered. “Didn’t mean to wake ya.”

I smiled and shook my head, rolling onto my back. “It’s alright. What time is it?”

“Little after one,” Cayde said, settling under the covers. 

I rolled over and pressed against his side, resting my head on his shoulder. He put his arm around me and rubbed my back, kissing the top of my head. “He okay?” I asked.

“Yeah,” Cayde nodded. “Just scared the hell out’ve him. Seein’ me like I am now, you’d never know anything happened. It’s easy to get that he’da never thought …” He shook his head.

I nodded. “Yeah.”

“Y’know, I ain’t never seen him cry?” Cayde said. “Even when A … Andal … was gone …” He shook his head. “He was sad, I know that. But … he held it together. Kept that strong façade. I’m sure he let it out at some point, but … I never saw it.” I rubbed his chest, just letting him talk. “Also had no idea he … saw me as a - more than a … mentor.”

“A father?” I asked.

“That sounds so weird,” Cayde admitted, shaking his head. “I mean … Come on? Am I really ‘dad’ material?”

“You wrote to Ace all these years,” I pointed out. “Even if you aren’t sure if he was ever real, you were still his dad. Still wrote to him and talked to him. Promised him you’d protect him form the bad guys.”

“I think you know my journals better than I do,” Cayde lightly chuckled then sighed and looked up at the ceiling. “Thing is … I knew - if he really was real - he’d’ve grown up and been long gone by now. Lived his life. And, I hope, a good and happy one. But, when I was writing to him - to his memory - I pictured him as a little kid. No older than … eight … nine. I can do little. I get little.”

I smirked. “Cause you act ‘little’?” I asked.

“Exactly,” Cayde nodded, pointing a finger at me, and we both laughed at that. “But, seriously, I just … Little kids I can handle. Y’know, you scrape your knee and need dad to make it better. That I know how to do. But … a man who no longer worries about scraped knees but my mortality and bein’ scared of it? That’s … that’s heavy. And I don’t know how to do that as well. _I_ can handle my mortality. I came to terms with that a long time ago. It’s different now with you, cause I don’t wanna go anywhere. I don’t wanna hurt you or put you through what happened at the prison ever again. _Ever_. I just didn’t know I …” He gestured up at nothing. “I didn’t know I really mattered that much to so many people. And I sure as hell didn’t know one of ‘em saw me the way he does.”

“Probably a … silly question,” I said, “but … are you okay with it? How he sees you?” 

“Yeah, I’m okay with it. Of course. Just … It’s a lot to take in. I mean, we all grab onto what helps get us through the worst this world throws at us. If me bein’ in that role helps him, then I’ll be there.”

I nodded and felt him shift his head to look at me so I looked up. “He asked me where it was, y’know? The Deep Stone Crypt.”

I sat up a little, looking at him. “What did you tell him?”

He shook his head. “I told him I couldn’t tell him. Told him it was too risky. He understood, but I think he was really disappointed there wasn’t something that would give him answers to that big blank spot in his memories.”

“If it was safe - ”

“It’s Clovis-Bray. It’s not safe,” Cayde said, adamant. “Besides, I told him it’s why I feel the cold now and he wouldn’t want that, livin’ in Felwinter. He’d have to pack up and move to the tropics. Live a miserable life in the sun by the ocean, drinkin’ mai tai’s with sand in all his crevices.”

I chuckled. “What did he say to that?”

Cayde looked at me. “He said ‘Or I could just find someone to make me as warm as Aislin makes you.’.”

I sighed and caressed his cheek. “Come’ere,” I said and pulled him up into my arms, hugging him. 

He sighed and hugged back. “Don’t know what I’d do without you,” he murmured.

“I don’t know what I’d do without _you_ ,” I told him. 

“Let’s never find out, okay?” He asked.

“Deal,” I nodded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, yeah. The Shiro confession was the turn I wasn't expecting, but it just worked its way in and felt right. Hope you all thought it worked and felt right, too. I just wanted to build up the relationships and really have it send home to Cayde the influence he has on people but also show the influence they have on him. Also hope you enjoyed his and Ais's little moment int he Cosmodrome. :) Okay, sleep time for me. Back at it tomorrow! :D


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A word of caution, while this is a good feels chapter, the beginning is NSFW. So just FYI.
> 
> That being said, here's the lead up to the more tender chapter to come. Enjoy!

I woke to soft kisses on my shoulder that slowly worked their way up along the side of my neck, sending an excited tingle through me. Warm metal very carefully and tenderly nuzzled just under my chin and familiar facial features tucked themselves against my skin, breathing in my scent.

I sleepily smiled, not even opening my eyes, and lifted my hand, settling it on the back of Cayde’s head, caressing it lovingly. He sighed and nuzzled me again, shifting his body up over me, laying between my legs. I could feel the firm warmth of his bare skin brush against the insides of my legs and I realized he’d taken his pajama bottoms off. I smirked to myself and lifted my arms, putting them around him, lightly trailing my fingers down the back of his neck and tracing the curve of his spine. When I heard him make a little moan, I opened my eyes to look at him, seeing his blue eyes glowing up at me in the dim light of the room. The teal plates on his face shifted up a little in a smile and the lights of his eyes softened. “Too early for this?” He whispered.

I brought my hands to his face and curled my fingers, brushing the tips over the shapes and lines that made up his handsome features and shook my head. He nuzzled me again and turned his head, kissing my wrist before he pulled himself up my body a little further. He held himself up on his elbows, kissing my lips, his arms slipping under the backs of my shoulders in a loose but loving hug. 

I softly gasped against his kiss when I felt the tip of his arousal suddenly pressing into me, the wetness dampening my underwear. When the kiss ended, I looked up at him, seeing his half-lidded eyes looking at me with nothing but desire. I smiled at him and coaxed him down for more kisses, moaning softly. He’d never done this before. Just woken me up in the middle of the night excited like this. I didn’t know what had caused it, but I certainly wasn’t complaining! 

Eventually, he broke the kiss and moved his lips back down to the side of my throat again, then went even lower, kissing my chest though the thin material of the loose tank top I was wearing. He slid his hands underneath it, brushing his thumbs over my nipples making me moan a bit too loudly. I heard him lowly chuckle as he caressed my sides, savoring the feel of my skin. My heart started to race and I lifted my arms, draping them over my head along the pillow and arched up, pushing my chest up into him. He let out a heady moan and sat up, pulling me with him, peeling my top off and tossing it aside before kissing my lips, sliding his tongue over them with a needy sigh, laying me back down again in the process. 

My hands slid over the top of his head, then down the sides of his neck and over his shoulders as I pushed my hips up, rubbing against him. He sucked in a sharp breath and licked up the center of my chest, then focused on my breasts, giving them careful and gentle attention with his lips and tongue. I gasped again, letting out a shuddering sigh of pleasure, my head tossing form side to side at the excited thrill his touches sent through me. If I didn’t know better, I’d never once think his face was made of hard metal, he was being that tender, that loving.

When he lifted his head he was panting a little and I smiled at him, coaxing him up for another kiss. As his lips found mine, I slipped my hand down between us and slid my palm over his throbbing heat, cupping him gently, feeling how soft and hot his skin was - how delicate. He gasped and lifted his hips for me, my fingers carefully massaging and fondling his testicles. I was still amazed that not only could he feel me like this but that he had anatomy and sensations just like a human man. I had no idea how it was possible, how this body of his, one that had been manufactured, was able to allow him to experience and feel the things he could. But I was glad for it. I loved that I could make him feel like this! Feel this good. And I loved that he trusted me so completely. Loved that he let himself be vulnerable with me this way and just gave in to whatever he was feeling, knowing I would never hurt him or make him feel anything but loved. 

As I continued to gently massage him, he pressed his face back into the side of my neck, his hips rocking slowly, whimpering with pleasure and holding onto me, even trembling a little as he panted. “Ais …”

Hearing him say my name like that … It did things to me. Made a fire I already had constantly burning within me for him only rage more. I bit at my bottom lip, holding it between my teeth, finding myself holding my breath as I closed my eyes and just let myself feel him move, feel his breath heavy and hot on my skin, feel him gradually tensing, getting a little closer with each rocking motion of his hips, each careful caress of my fingers. I was swelling and throbbing myself, impossibly wet, wanting him more than anything, but also not wanting to stop what I was doing, it was so perfect in and of itself seeing him like this.

I heard him groan and he lifted his head, kissing me again, then gently stilled my hand and eased it away, my wrist wet form his excitement. He worked his way back down my body and slid my underwear off then crawled back up, kissing his way along my bare skin before settling back between my legs. I smiled at him, cupping his face in my hands and kissed him with all that fiery passion raging inside me. I felt him smile, his tongue gently brushed along my lips, panting softly as he rocked his hips forward, gently easing inside me with a shuddering sigh. 

I gasped and lifted my right leg, curling it around his hip possessively, pulling him down as I savored the feel of him filling me. He gasped and paused in kissing me, whimpering again, resting his forehead against mine until he was fully settled. When he was finally able, he lifted his head and looked at me, his eyes so open and unguarded. I held his face in my hands and nuzzled the tip of my nose against the little combed ridge that made up his. He chuckled, scrunching his face a little, his tone soft and sweet. He slid hand down to the back of my thigh, holding it, bending his knee out to the side under it for leverage, and started thrusting his hips, rocking into me.

I softly cried out, feeling my body adjust to his fullness while swelling even more around him. I draped my arms around the back of his neck and held onto him, hugging him close as he pressed his face to the side of mine, both of us panting in synch to the rhythm of his hips. “Cayde,” I practically sobbed, he felt so good against me and inside me. He replied by holding me closer against him and turning his face into my cheek, kissing it softly as he rocked his hips a little faster. I was writhing under him, gasping and panting, holding on tight, even as I trembled. I felt the hand he had at the back of my thigh squeeze me harder, almost tight enough to bruise as he lowly growled. 

I was so close and oooooh, that growl of his! It was one of the sexiest things about him and I loved that it showed a hint of something buried deep. A fierceness about him he rarely let show, but a side I just knew no one ever wanted to mess with. It drove me wild, that contradiction with his softer, more tender and playful side. He was so many wonderful things and I loved every one of them! 

“I love you,” he whispered to me, his voice holding a slight tremble.

“I love you,” I whispered back and pressed my cheek to his, panting even harder, the heat from his body mixed with my own warming everything around us. I felt a light sheen of sweat break out all over me and I gasped, so close -right on the edge - and when he thrust into me again, I felt it send me over in a dizzying, pleasure-filled tumble. I groaned, tensing and squeezing around him as I shuddered, hugging him to me just as he gasped, his own climax triggered by mine, his body jerking against me, a soft cry tearing it’s way from his throat.

 

Cayde had his eyes closed and was laying against my side, his arm around my waist, head pillowed on my stomach in a surprisingly comfortable way. I had the covers pulled up over us and my arm draped over his shoulders, my free hand idly caressing his cheek.

“Tomorrow night’s the candle-lighting ceremony,” he quietly murmured, lifting his hand, idly tracing light, delicate swirls on my hip.

“Mm hmm,” I nodded, my thumb softly brushing along his right brow and I felt him tilt his head into it a little, so I did it again.

“Have you watched it before?” He asked.

“Yes,” I whispered. “It’s very beautiful.”

He gave a little nod. “I’ve never … done this with anyone before.”

“You mean had someone with you during the ceremony?” I asked.

He nodded. “Kinda nervous about it, actually,” he confessed. I put both my arms around him and hugged him, feeling him press even closer. “I need to go out tomorrow,” he then said, switching gears a little. "Into the City. Alone. Every year I … I go to this little bakery that makes these sweet little strawberry filled cookies. I had some on me when I first met Amanda. I gave her one as part of my thanks for fixing my Sparrow.” He was quiet for a moment. “We didn’t have a festival back then. But we did honor those we lost every year. The first year she was here and we had one, I brought her some of the same cookies since she really liked the first one I gave her. She was really sad that first year. She is every year, but that year was the worst one … Understandably … It cheered her up a little, though, and … it’s sorta been somethin’ I do for her every year. A way of remembering her parents.”

I kissed the top of his head and rubbed his back. “That sounds incredibly special, sweetheart. It must have helped her a lot.”

He nodded. “It seems to, yeah.”

“And you, too.” I slowly ran my fingers over his mohawk as if I were running my fingers through hair. “Have you talked to her about Andal?” 

He shook his head. “No. She knows who he was and that we were friends. That he was like a brother to me,” he whispered. “She knows it’s a hard time-a year for me, too, because of it. But I can’t, uh …” He shook his head. “I can’t.”

I nodded. “Okay.”

“We don’t really talk anyway, we just sort of … sit together. Share a couple-a cookies and, uh … just … just be there for each other for a while.”

“Sometimes that says more than words ever can,” I murmured.

He lifted his head and looked at me. I smiled, laying my hand on his cheek, then carefully rolled us over onto our sides so I was facing him, snuggling close to him, and settled my hand over his heart. He laid his hand over mine and tangled our legs together, then pressed our foreheads together and closed his eyes.

We had a whole conversation then, one that stretched on for the rest of the night … and neither of us ever said a single word.

 

“Hey,” I smiled as I came down the stairs, seeing Shiro sitting at the table with a cup of coffee. 

“Morning,” Shiro greeted, looking up at me, smiling, too. He got up to get me a cup of coffee.

“Sleep okay?” I asked, going over to the table, sitting across from where he was.

“Yeah,” he nodded and came over, setting a cup down in front of me as he sat back down in his own chair. “It’s weird sleeping in a bed, though.”

I tilted my head, frowning, but smirking at the same time. “You know, Cayde had the same reaction the first time he and I shared a bed.”

Shiro chuckled. “That doesn’t surprise me. He used to sleep standing up all the time. I think, the entire time I’ve known him, I’ve only seen him sleep laying down maybe … twice?”

“Really?” I asked, eyebrows rising. “He told me he’s slept on cots and make-shift beds and stuff, as well as standing up, but I didn’t realize he slept that way that much,” I said, sipping my coffee as I sat back in the chair.

“Oh, yeah. I mean, we’re Exo’s. It’s not like it hurts us to do it, standing on our feet like that. And we won’t tip over unless pushed. But we can just stand there and nod right off. I can’t tell you how many times I’d wake up out there - in whatever ramshackle hut we found ourselves in for the night - and Cayde would be leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed, one leg crossed over the other, gun held in his hand and resting against his arm. He looked like he was staring out at the night, standing watch. And then I’d hear him snoring. Would get up and check on him. Out like a light.”

I chuckled, imagining that, and found it so him to do something like that.

I heard footsteps on the stairs behind me and looked over my shoulder, seeing Cayde coming down, dressed in civilian clothes - brown pants and a light-weight cream colored hooded sweater - Ghost floating along behind him. 

“Well, that’s going to take getting used to seeing,” Shiro said.

“What’s that?” Cayde asked, coming over to me, leaning over the back of the chair, giving me a kiss.

“You in normal clothes,” Shiro said.

Cayde smiled. “All Ais’s doing. She got me into wearing clothes when I started living with her.”

Shiro looked at me, arching an eyebrow.

“Wearing the armor when kicking back on the couch or cooking wasn’t really the most comfortable or practical thing,” I explained.

“Ooooh, he’s been cooking for you, huh? Yeah, Cayde can cook. Taught me a few things, too. Did he ever tell you about the cockroach chili?”

I felt my eye twitch while Cayde covered his mouth, trying not to laugh. “I’m going to leave while I still can,” he nodded, heading for the door, setting his hand on top of Sundance’s urn as he passed it.

“You’re leaving?” Shiro asked, twisting around in his chair as he followed where Cayde had gone.

“Yeah. I, uh …” Cayde glanced at me then back at Shiro. “I have somethin’ important to take care of. I’ll be back later, though.” 

“If you need anything …” I said.

“You’ll know,” Cayde softly said, smiling. “Be good, you two,” he told us giving me a wink.

I winked back and he headed out, Ghost going with him.

“I know today’s the candle ceremony and all but … is he okay?” Shiro asked, turning back around in his chair.

I nodded. “He just has something special to do for a friend.”

Shiro nodded and sipped his coffee. “Yeah, that sounds about right. He talks a great deal about not having many friends, but a lot of good he does - and has done over the years - has gained him more than I think he realizes. I mean, sure, there are people out there who definitely want him dead, but the good people far outnumber the bad.”

I sat back up, putting my hands around my cup as I rested my arms on the table. “When we brought him back, he got overwhelmed with the number of people he discovered really care about him. He said he didn’t think they really liked him, just tolerated him.”

“Yeah,” Shiro nodded. “That’s because he knows he annoys people sometimes with his personality. He’s a good guy, he can just be …”

“A pain in the ass?” I said with affection, smirking.

“I was going to say a handful,” Shiro chuckled. “But, yeah. He’s … he’s always so focused on keeping that wall up. Not letting people see anything but that cocky and confident side. Over the years, I sort of got the impression he figured, if someone is willing to put up with the bullshit and look beyond it, then he could let them get closer.” He sipped his coffee and pointed a finger at me. “You … must have some serious patience and understanding.”

I laughed. “Actually, the funny thing is I saw past that façade really early on, but I think it was after we all lost our Light because of Ghaul - when I went looking for him and fought off a ton of Vex and Fallen to save him - I think it triggered something in him he wasn’t expecting.”

Shiro frowned. “A ton of Vex and Fallen? What happened?”

“Oh he had a good idea to get a Vex teleporter to get up onto Ghaul’s ship and stop him. But, without the Light, there were just too many Vex and Fallen in the area. He couldn’t get back out.”

“He always did say it’s not the getting in, it’s the getting out. But, yeah, even without the Light, he’d do something reckless like that,” Shiro nodded.

I nodded, too, smirking at the memory - the more detailed memory of him getting stuck in the Vex Loop. But I wasn’t going to mention that part. 

“How’s it working with you two sharing a Ghost? I saw him go out with Cayde but now that means you can’t go anywhere, right?”

“Well, sort of. Actually, Cayde could’ve gone into the City by himself. Ghost just went with him because he knows Cayde misses having Sundance there.”

Shiro nodded as he drank more of his coffee. “Yeah. I remember when Lush lost his Ghost - Did Cayde ever tell you about him?”

I nodded. “He did,” I softly said. “He went on a run a year later and never came back, right?”

Shiro nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, that kid had passion. He was a good kid, too. It was too bad. But he had the same feeling. Like part of him was missing.” He shook his head. “Cayde and Sundance, though … They were definitely cut from the same cloth.”

“That they were,” I smiled. “She always had the same witty come backs, goofy reposes to things that took her by surprise … She drove Ghost crazy a lot. Got under his figurative skin, but I think he loved her company anyway. She was a challenge to his own dry wit.”

“She must have liked you, seeing how happy you make Cayde,” Shiro said, smiling. 

I smiled back at him. “I think she did. I hope she did. I hope she knows how much we love him and that we’ll look after him where she can’t. But, yeah, I miss her being around. I miss seeing her hovering by Cayde watching him cook and saying how much she wished she could taste whatever it was he was making. I miss hearing her laughing with him when watching a good movie. Or listening to her reminisce with him about places they’d been while he’d be working on some maps. Or even totally embarrassing him with funny stories. I think one of the best ones was when they were staying in a village somewhere - this was probably back before you even met him - and he was trying to show off for some kids and got his cloak stuck on a pole …” 

“Oh! Oh, I know the one you’re talking about!” Shiro said, pointing a finger at me, laughing and nodding. “Yeah, he was up on this rickety scaffolding that led up the side of an old building. He was helping the villagers fix some windows cause a storm was coming in and decided to show off to the kids below. So he summersaulted off the planks but his cloak got stuck on one of the poles holding up the scaffolding so he just ended up dangling there!”

“Yes! That’s the story!” I laughed.

“Yup, and Sundance said that Cayde - still dangling there, everyone laughing at him - looked at her and said: I hope lightning strikes me dead and if it does, please don’t rezz me.”

I laughed even more.

“Oh, man. Those were the early days. Like … If I remember right, he’d only been a Guardian maybe a year or so at the time of that story. That’s an old one. It was going to be about another ten years from then before I met him.”

“How did you meet him anyway?” I asked.

“He never told you?”

I shook my head.

“Oh, well, you know Cayde and how much he loves poker and card games in general,” Shiro said and I nodded. “Well, we happened to find ourselves at the same broken down, seedy as hell, out in the middle of nowhere’s nowhere bar this side of the pond. I really don’t know if he was there before I showed up or not but, doesn’t matter, anyway, I was up at the bar and I heard this commotion behind me. Turn around and there’s Cayde - and Andal - sitting at this table, arguing with a group of some really rough lookin characters I knew were no good. They’re yelling at Cayde, claiming he cheated. Cayde’s yelling back, telling them what they can go do with themselves, Andal’s sitting there, swirling his drink in his glass, like here we go again … I knew there was only a couple seconds and guns were going to be drawn, so I went over to try and break it up before all hell broke loose. Ended up getting hit in the back of the head with a chair.” He shook his head, like he was still surprised by that. “I spin around, punch that guy. The other guys arguing with Cayde get up, flip the table. Drinks, cards, chips, everything goes flying. Next thing I know, the whole bar is in on this fight. Cayde’s laughing the whole time - looking back on it, I think he did it all on purpose - having a blast, cracking-wise with Andal while punching every guy that came in arms-length of his fist. I’m punching guys, Andal’s - believe it or not - still got his drink and trying to finish it off while using his pistol to make one of the little shits dance! It was chaos! By the time it was over, the three of us were all that was left standing, one guy's hanging by his underwear off a broken fan about to fall from the ceiling, half the building was burned down, Sundance was making some off-hand comment about it being another bar Cayde effectively destroyed, and Andal … Andal still had his damn drink!”

I was laughing so hard, my cheeks were starting to hurt and I could barely see! 

“So cayde turns to me, introduces himself and Andal, then gestures to the half-smashed bar and asks if he can buy me a drink. Bartender’s completely knocked out and laying over the thing. But Cayde, he just walked up, went around the back, poured me and himself a glass, then toasted to a job well done. And that - that was the beginning of a beautiful friendship,” Shiro finished, raising his cup in a little toast before finishing off his coffee.

 

After some great stories and a couple more cups of coffee, I took Shiro out for the day, exploring the City which, like the Tower, had decorations, special vendors, and even little street shows and spooky events for kids. I think I ended up occasionally laughing at his bar story a few times, though, whenever something would make me think of it! It was just so Cayde and made me really wish I’d gotten to meet Andal. 

“He was a good guy,” Shiro said, when I asked about him. “Couldn’t tell a joke to save his life, though. He didn’t have that smoothness Cayde always had. It always came out forced. But, oh, was he a good guy. Would give you the shirt off his back if you needed it. Wouldn’t matter if it was snowing and it was the last thing he had. He’d offer it to you. I think it’s because of him Cayde managed to find his moral ground. He set an example and Cayde followed it. Not that Cayde was ever a bad guy. But Andal showed him how to find his feet. How to hone that good side. And then Cayde passed it on to me.”

I smiled and took Shiro’s arm, walking with him through the festivities and enjoying the rest of the events in the central part of the City. I was definitely getting a greater sense of the man Cayde called a brother and why, even after all these years, it was still so painful for him. Andal had been a brother, but also a guide. A moral compass. Someone who helped shape him into who he was today. Like losing Sundance, losing Andal had been like losing part of himself. No wonder his emotions were so raw. He felt ripped up inside. Like pieces had been torn away.

That really made me hurt for him.

“Can you really feel each other?” Shiro asked out of the blue and I glanced up at him. “Cayde said your bond makes it so you can feel what the other is feeling.”

I nodded. “Yeah.”

“Can you feel him now?” 

Again I nodded and focused on him for a moment. He was okay, but a little sad. I wasn’t sure if he was with Amanda or not but, if he was, I didn’t want to call him and interrupt. I figured, if he needed me, he’d call me.

“Do you know what each other is thinking?”

I shook my head. “No. We just get a sense of how the other feels. Our emotions. And we can sense when the other is nearby.” I chuckled then. “The first week, Cayde kept hiding in places around the Tower and tried jumping out to scare me, but I always knew he was there. And then he started figuring, if he was really fast, maybe he’d get me before I knew, but that only led to him falling down a few times because he’d trip over stuff, so focused on trying to get me, he wouldn’t watch his feet. Great Hunter … totally wiped out.”

Shiro laughed. “Yeah, that sounds like him.”

Something caught my eye then. One of the vendors was selling stuffed dolls of the different Guardian classes. But it wasn’t the dolls themselves that got me, it was the Hunter doll specifically. They had on little cloaks. I grinned and went to speak with the vendor.

 

“Soooo … you bought a little cloak? Why?” Shiro asked, frowning at the little bit of black material as I looked it over, smiling. 

“It’s for Colonel,” I said. “Cayde bought a chicken mask for the costume part of the festival. Mentioned needing a little cloak for Colonel. I think this will work perfectly.”

“Oooooh!” Shiro chuckled. “So they’re both chicken Hunters, huh?”

I nodded, smiling.

“What are you going as?” He asked.

“You know, I didn’t give it any thought,” I admitted. “I’ve never participated before.”

Shiro looked at me, seeming a bit surprised by that. “Well, we’ll have to come up with something for you. Can’t have you not dress up for your first festival.” He gave me a little tug. “Come on. I have an idea.”

After seeing to gettng me something to wear later in the week for a costume, I took Shiro around the rest of City, enjoying different foods, watching a few street performers, and even buying a few things. Shiro actually got a nice blue sweater and, while he didn’t feel the cold like Cayde did now, he still thought it would be nice to wear on his days off. I also got him everything I used to make the hot chocolate I’d made for him and Cayde the night before so he could make some back in Felwinter, and we picked up a few special candies made just for Exo’s by one of the Exo vendors. They were like cherry cordials, but with similar liquor to the Ab~Synth used instead of regular liquor. This way they actually packed a punch for them. “Which one do you think Cayde would like?” I asked Shiro as he tried a few samples. “Mmm. That one. It’s like rum. And strong,” he said around a mouth full of chocolate, pointing to a little chocolate truffle that was sprinkled with a light orange colored powder.

I nodded and got a box of them for Cayde and a box of the ones Shiro ended up liking, too. 

 

When we got home, it was almost time to get ready for the candle-lighting ceremony. Cayde was back and was laying down on the couch watching an old black and white Western, Ghost settled on the pillow above his head. He looked up when we came in and smiled. “Well, looks like you two had a day,” he said, seeing the bags we carried in as he sat up. Ghost got up and floated over, checking out the bags, Shiro’s Ghost showing him some of the things we got for them to wear over the coming days, while I went over to Cayde.

“It was nice,” I told him, caressing his cheek, leaning over, giving him a kiss. “You alright?” I could sense he was little worn out from the day.

“Yeah,” he nodded. “It was a nice day, actually. We went flying.”

“You did?” I asked, smiling. 

He nodded. “Mmm. Went back out to a place in the mountains Amanda remembered camping at with her parents. Hiked to the spot. Shared a few cookies. Talked …” he shrugged, “about anything that came to mind. It was nice.”

I crouched down and hugged him, feeling him press his face into my shoulder, sighing. “You’re a good man, sweetheart,” I whispered, rubbing his back. 

He leaned back and smiled at me. “So, what did you two get up today?”

I grinned. “Close your eyes.”

“Close my eyes?” He asked, eyebrows rising.

I nodded.

“Kaaaaay,” he said and did so.

I went over to the bags and looked around inside, glancing over my shoulder. I saw he had one eye part way open. “Hey, no peeking,” I said, snapping my finger at him. He quickly shut it and Shiro and I both chuckled. 

Once I got what I wanted, I hid it behind my back and went over to him, crouching back down by the couch in front of him. “Okay, open your eyes,” I told him, petting his knee. When he did I had the little cloak held up for him.

He blinked at it for a couple of moments before it fully registered what he was looking at. “Y-You found her a little cloak?!” He asked, taking it, looking it over. “How? Where?”

“There was a vendor selling Guardian dolls. I asked them if they had any extra cloaks and she had a few that weren’t sewn on some of the dolls yet. Sold me one.”

“Huh. And here I was just gonna cut up one of the curtains,” Cayde said.

“And I would’ve broke your fingers,” I told him and he chuckled. I grinned and gave him a kiss. “It’ll work, then?”

“It’s perfect, Ais. Thank you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all liked that one! I had fun thinking up possible little moments from once upon a time with the trio and how they may have met. Hope you all think I did it justice. 
> 
> More to come soon!


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright! Here's chapter 10! :D Hope you all enjoy!

The Candle-Lighting Ceremony was being held down in the Annex at sunset. 

The Tower was sombre. 

The festivities halted for the evening. 

The only real sound was the low, peaceful ebbing ring of temple bells being sounded off in the distance for the occasion. 

As the hues of the sky surrounding the City were softly bathed in reds and purples, twinkling stars slowly breaking through far above, and the Traveler and all it’s slowly gyrating shards showing in a warm, brilliant white, a procession of Guardians, each carrying a single, lit, white candle, quietly made their way down through the Tower.

Shiro and I both flanked Cayde who stood between us, Ghost floating along with Cayde and I, Shiro’s Ghost floating along over his shoulder. Shiro and I had each taken one of Cayde’s arms to walk with him through the procession to the main ceremony, offering our support and comfort. He had dressed in Andal’s cloak, as usual, but also wore a special set of black Hunter funerary robes that he’d told me he’d had specially made for Andal’s funeral and had not worn since. Tonight, though, they seemed appropriate, especially since, tonight, the candle he’d be lighting would also be for Sundance.

I could feel the slight tremble through his whole body, even as we walked, and I could sense the mix of trepidation, nervousness, and sadness. Amongst all that, though, I also got the faintest sense of gratefulness. A sense of love in knowing he wasn’t alone this time, giving him a bit of strength and determination. I gave the inside of his upper arm a gentle caress with my thumb and sensed those feelings swell a little as he glanced at me out the corner of his eye. 

When I thought back on the other Candle-Lighting Ceremonies I’d witnessed, I remembered never seeing Cayde walk in any of them. Actually, I’d never seen him at all. Anywhere. It never occurred to me until just now that it was more likely than not he waited until later, after everyone was gone, to come in and remember Andal in his own time, away from everyone else’s eyes. He was a very private person with those things. 

As we got deeper into the Tower, I could hear soft humming chants from Warlocks, like the ones I was familiar with in the Mountains beyond the tower and at Felwinter Peak. And, when we finally arrived in the Annex and took our places standing in the front row surrounding the central platform, I saw them, dressed in white robes, standing high above on the catwalk balconies surrounding the area. 

That was when I took in the whole space and saw how beautifully it was decorated this year. The three banners of each class - Hunter, Titan, and Warlock - all hung proudly out behind the platform that overlooked the City. In between and to the sides of each banner, long, spiraling bunches of weaved pink carnations and ivy arrangements hung, and simple, yet beautiful yellow box lanterns criss-crossed on loose wires above, adding a soft and comforting glow, mingled with streamers of each class color. Red and white for Titan, purple and yellow for Warlock, and aqua and gray for Hunter. As for the Annex platform itself, it was filled with hundreds of purple candles, all spread out on platforms of varying heights, but none too high to reach, and none so low as to feel unimportant or less than any of the others. Everything was arranged so that each could shine brightly when lit and always be seen, down to its last moment. 

As the chanting softly ended, Zavala stepped out onto the platform and looked up and around at everyone in attendance. Being as close as we were, I could see how tired and worn he looked, and I heard Cayde let out a bit of a soft sigh of sympathy.

“Tonight …” Zavala began, his voice echoing out through the Annex as strong and steadfast as ever, despite the weariness I saw in him. “Tonight we stand united … as we have always been.” He looked around at everyone standing before him. "But tonight … our union is not on the battlefield … It is not in the face of a common foe. Tonight … we stand united in remembrance … Tonight we stand united, our hearts beating as one, our Light shining bright in honor of the sacrifices made by the brave Guardians … and Ghosts,” Zavala said, glancing at Cayde as he said that, “who gave everything to push back the Darkness.” I felt Cayde shudder a bit and I leaned against him, hugging his arm, while I noticed Shiro put his candle in his other hand so he could put his free arm around Cayde’s shoulders as Zavala continued. "From the first stone lain in the foundation of this great City and every man, woman, and child who has come to call it home, to the the planets that stretch beyond Earth - Piece by piece, day by day, battle by battle, we have stood steadfast and strong. Where the Darkness has pushed us, we have pushed back even harder no matter the cost,” he stated, his voice as strong and hard as his body appeared to be before he looked down for a moment, relaxing some. “No matter the cost …” he softly repeated. 

A somberness washed over the whole Annex for a few moments and a soft breeze blew in from the distance, gently moving the banners and flowers behind him as Zavala took the time to gather his thoughts and leave us with ours before quietly speaking again.

“Those who have given their lives - their very Light - so that we may carry on and see to the future they fought for and believed in every moment of every day - they are the true heroes of our time. Wherever they are now, may our … may our love and our gratitude find its way to them. May they always be remembered.”

As he finished, Ikora stepped out form the side, carrying two candles and handed one to him. He took it with a little nod to her, then stepped over one of the purple candles at the center of the platform. After a brief few moments with his eyes closed, Zavala lit the first candle, then stepped back and blew out the one he held in his hand. Next, Ikora stepped forward, closed her eyes, her lips moving ever so slightly as she took a few moments of her own, then she lit her own candle and stepped back. 

When they were done, Ikora and Zavala looked over to us and I felt an instant welling of anxiousness in Cayde. I leaned over and kissed his shoulder, giving his arm a gentle squeeze, noticing Shiro lean close to his ear at the same time. “We’re right here,” he whispered. I’d never seen Cayde so nervous. He was always so confident. But, now, he was suddenly anything but. The shaking was almost obvious, the candle in his hands trembling a little as Shiro and I walked with him out onto the platform, our Ghosts floating over with us. No one said anything, but I knew all eyes were on us, watching carefully, likely some wondering why Shiro and I were with Cayde and, no doubt, some surprised to see him for once.

“It’s just the three of us here. No one else,” I whispered to him, trying to help him imagine everyone else within the whole Annex was gone and that we were alone. “Just think of Andal and Sundance. Think of how much they mean to you. Let everything else fall away. Okay?” 

He nodded and looked down at the flame of the little candle in his hands. I felt deep sadness and regret filling him, but also love and gratefulness. As well as longing. He missed them both. Terribly. And I knew it was always going to hurt when he thought of them. Even with good memories that made him laugh and smile. There would always be some pain there. But I knew Cayde would take it because he’d rather have had them part of his life then never to have known them at all. 

When I looked up at his eyes, I saw they were brimming but he was refusing to let a single tear fall, blinking them back and taking a bit of a shuddering breath. Finally, after a few moments, he forced himself to stand a little taller, pushing it all down, then reached out and lit one of the purple candles for them, smiling a little as he did, before bringing the candle in his hand to his lips, blowing it out.

I let go of his arm and slipped mine under his cloak, rubbing his back, then looked over to Shiro and nodded. He looked down at his candle and I was pretty sure he was not only thinking of Andal and Sundance, but Lush as well, and likely a few other friends lost along the way. After a few moments, he, too, lit a candle, then blew his out, giving Cayde’s shoulders a squeeze. Cayde glanced over at him and, despite feeling shaky, he gave a little lean into Shiro, and a bit of a smile, Shiro smiling back. Then, Cayde looked at me, his eyes soft, still shimmering a bit, but warm. “You’re turn, beautiful,” he whispered, his voice a little shaky and raw sounding, but soft.

I slipped my arm lower around his waist, giving him a tender hug and nodded. I had no one I’d lost. No one I’d ever been friends with who I’d ever had to say goodbye to who I was close to. There were only those Guardians I’d heard of and known of, or briefly worked with, like the Speaker. Some who were in battle with me and lost their lives, but few I’d personally known. The closest call there had ever been for me was Cayde. And I was lucky enough to have been able to bring him back. 

But I knew, besides that close call with Cayde, there were others who I was grateful to. For so much. And not all had lost their lives. Some had survived and still continued to fight with all they had to keep our world safe, even with what a select few of us knew was looming in the dark. So, for Cayde … for Sundance and Andal … For our Little Light - our Ghost - for Shiro, Zavala, Ikora … For Eris, Shaxx, and Saladin, … for everyone who had and continued to risk it all every day … even those without the Light, I lit my candle, gratefully, and thanked them.

 

As the Candle-Lighting Ceremony neared an end, the entire Annex became a warm beacon of light on the wall overlooking the City below. Guardians that remained gathered quietly to talk and reminisce with each other while Tower Frames brought in trays of refreshments and the Warlocks above took up softly chanting again.

Cayde had kissed my cheek and whispered that he wanted to go over and talk with Zavala and Ikora for a few minutes, leaving me with Shiro who got drawn into a conversation with Shaxx and a couple other Guardians I didn’t know. I was only half paying attention, really, I was more focused on keeping and eye on Cayde, sensing the weariness in him despite wanting to offer some comfort to Zavala.

After a little while, I felt a hand lightly touch my shoulder and I turned to see it was Shiro. “I don’t have to have any emotional connection with him to know he needs to get out of here,” he softly said. “This isn’t really his thing. He doesn’t do well with death. Why don’t you take him home?”

“I know. And I was thinking about that, I just didn’t want to be rude and drag him away from Zavala too soon,” I said before sipping a little champaign from my glass. “What about you?” I asked.

He smiled and shook his head. “Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine. Besides, Shaxx and the others over there invited me out for drinks. It’s been too long since I’ve seen him and hung out. Think I’ll take them up on that. And it’ll let you two have some time alone together tonight.”

I set my glass down on a Frame’s tray as it walked by and hugged Shiro tight. “Thank you for being an amazing friend,” I whispered.

He hugged me back. “Anytime,” he whispered, then eased back, smiling even more. “Go on. Go rescue him.”

 

When Cayde and I got back to the apartment, we washed up and changed into some comfy pajamas. I made some jasmine tea while Cayde got a fire going and, once the tea was done, I joined Cayde on the couch, settling in behind him as he pulled a blanket over both of us. I handed him his cup and he blew on it then sipped it, sighing and laying back into me, his whole body relaxing with a soft sigh of contentment. 

“Feel a little better?” I asked, sipping my own tea. 

“Yeah, actually,” he nodded. “I didn’t think I was gonna get that shaky. I never had that happen before. Though … never walked the ceremony before, either. Only ever watched it. Usually I go in after everyone’s left.”

“Did your own private ceremony alone, huh?” I gently asked. It was just as I’d thought.

“Mmm hmm,” he nodded, drinking more of his tea. 

“What made you change your mind and do it differently this year?”

He turned his head, looking over his shoulder at me. “You.”

I raised my eyebrows in surprise, mid-sip from my own cup. “Me?”

He nodded. “Yeah." He turned himself a little, resting his elbow on my knee as he continued to look at me. “I had you and Shiro to be there for me this time. And Ghost. And that meant the world. But it was mostly that you were there that helped. And … Well, I was hoping that … if I went, you’d go, too, and light a candle. Be part of it. Thought it might help you.”

I softly smiled at him and leaned forward, resting my forehead on his shoulder, feeling him press a tender kiss to the top of my head as he rested his free hand on the back of my neck, has fingers caressing me softly. “Hey,” he whispered.

I lifted my head and he smiled at me then took my cup and set it on the coffee table with his. After that, he turned and pulled me down a little before laying against my chest, carefully tucking his head under my chin. I chuckled and fixed the blanket on top of him, draping my arms around his shoulders, rubbing his back as he gently hugged me. “You okay?” He asked.

I nodded. “Yeah, why?”

“Just getting this feeling from you. Like … not sadness … but … I don’t know. I can’t really place what it is.”

“Yeah, I can’t either, “ I admitted.

He nodded and was quiet for a few moments before he spoke again. “Can I ask what you thought about when you lit your candle?”

“Of course you can,” I nodded. “I was thinking how I never really knew anyone who was lost. How even though I’ve only been a Guardian five years, it’s still enough time to have made friends … but I never really did.” I looked up at the ceiling. “Made me realize how disconnected I was. That I became so focused on what I was that I … I sort of didn’t really … live. I just … fought. Until you became something more in my life.” I smiled as I felt him give my sides an affectionate squeeze and I trialed my fingers over the ridge of his mohawk before my smile faded some. “I’m starting to wonder who really needed who more. I spent all that time out among the stars and planets, fighting back the Darkness. Aliens. Monsters. Gods. Looked at all forms of death and destruction, walked other realms and planes … saw things … heard things … Came back with little else but nightmares and voices in my dreams.” I shook my head. “I don’t think I realized how much I needed you until you were there. Or how much I needed friends until, little by little, your friends became mine, too.” 

He lifted himself up on his elbows and looked at me. “Why didn’t you tell me, Ais?” He gently asked. “I knew there was a lot you were dealin’ with but … why didn’t you ever talk? Not just tell me about it but really talk to me?”

I reached up and softly caressed the teal plate just under his left eye. “This isn’t a knock at your age, but you know I know you’re quite old and been all over the place and seen some pretty crazy stuff, right?” I asked.

He nodded.

“I also know there’s a lot that’s been lost to you. Even with the stuff your other selves left you in the journals. But still … there’s a part of me that … that thinks if … you’ve forgotten horrible things, then let them be forgotten so you can keep that peace. Why give you new ones?”

“Basically you’re saying you’re tryin’ to protect me?” He asked with a bit of a smile, reaching up to caress the side of my face.

I nodded.

He took my hand in his and gave it a kiss. “Ais, I appreciate that and I get it. And I’d be a hypocrite if I said I wouldn’t do the same if things were reversed. I totally would. But … not only are ya my best friend and it kills me seein’ ya tryin’ to handle this stuff on your own, but, don’t forget, I can feel it when you are.” He gave my stomach an affectionate poke. “This dang bond of ours seems hell bent on makin’ sure we keep an eye on each other and that we make sure the other is okay. And right now you’re not totally okay, ya damned stubborn Titan.”

I couldn’t help it, I laughed and he smiled. “You’ve been though an awful lot the last few weeks. I just didn’t want to add more stuff on top of that,” I told him. “I feel guilty.”

He shook his head. “You’re not. Really. So don’t feel guilty.”

I closed my eyes for a moment, then pulled him up and slipped my arms under his and hugged him, sighing as I felt his weight settle on top of me, pressing my face into his shoulder.

He slipped his arms under me and hugged me tight. “There. Now, was that so hard?” He asked, a smile in his voice.

“Yes. Now shut up,” I told him and heard him chuckle.

 

“You know, you really do have an _amazing_ ass,” I told Cayde as my hands slowly slid over his warm, firm, and well-toned synthetic skin.

“Hey, I told you you could play only if you were gonna talk,” Cayde chuckled, stretched out naked on his stomach on the bed. We’d moved upstairs after deciding we wanted to go someplace more comfortable where we could lay down together, although that had only led to me being unable to keep my hands off him, so Cayde had come up with the brilliant idea that if I wanted to touch, I had to talk.

“I am talking,” I told him as I playfully drummed my hands on his bare bum, making him laugh some more, wiggling it a little.

“You know what I mean! I’m the only one allowed to be sly here!” He told me.

I chuckled again. “Okay, okay. Wait, where was I?” I asked. 

“You were talking about being on the moon.”

“Oh, right. It really is a strangely lonely place up there, isn’t it?” I asked, sliding my hands up to his lower back, giving it a gentle massage. “You liked lavender, right?”

“Yeah, it is, and yeah, why?”

I slid off the bed and got some of the lavender oil from the bathroom. Cayde looked over his shoulder at me as I got back up on the bed, smirking at me as he settled his head back on his folded arms. “How is it you always end up spoiling me even when something is meant to help you?” He asked.

“Trust me, this is helping,” I assured, pouring a little oil on my hands. I rubbed them together then slowly slid warm, oiled palms over his lower back and up toward his shoulders, making him moan. I smiled at the reaction and closed my eyes, focusing on the feel of his skin as I took myself back to the moon. “I remember riding around on my sparrow, looking around the barren and gray terrain, thinking about the history I read before going there. How, so long ago, humanity used to look up at the moon and worship it. How they used to dream of visiting it some day. Reading about the first moon landing and what a tremendous achievement it was. Then the first colonies being built there … how it was like something from a story … a work of fiction finally made real and possible … And then how everything they’d accomplished was lost … given up to the Hive to save Earth.” I shook my head. “I read about the Hive … Read Eris’s notes Ikora offered to me … but nothing prepared me for what I encountered below the surface. Especially not the deeper I got. And it’s not the Acolytes or the Thralls. Not the Knights or the Ogres, or even the Shriekers or the Wizards … none of that really ever bothered me. It’s what couldn’t be seen. It’s what I felt down in that pit. It’s what I heard. It’s what lurked in the darkness. Like cold hands about to settle on my shoulders and an icy breath at the back of my neck. And the voices. They were always all around me. And through me. Like tuning forks on my spine. Every time they spoke it set me on edge because I felt it. Pulling at every part of me. Right into my soul.” I shook my head “I never forgot.” I shook my head again. “I can’t ever forget.”

I didn’t realize I’d stopped massaging Cayde’s back. I hadn’t even realized he’d gotten up and rolled over until I felt his hands take mine, starling me. I jumped, eyes snapping open as I gasped, shaking. “Shhh shh shh. Just me,” he soothed, petting my hands as he held them. “Come on, lay down.”

“I was - ”

“Nope,” he shook his head. “You’re done. It felt wonderful. I love you.” He lifted my hands to his lips and kissed them. “Thank you. But you’re done. I’m takin’ care of you for the rest of tonight. No arguing with me. Now, I want you to lay down, and get comfortable, and stay put, you understand?” He asked, as he moved aside, fixing the pillows for me to settle into.

“Cayde I - ” He paused in what he was doing and arched an eyebrow at me and, for the first time ever, actually looked stern in a way I’d never seen before. I got the sense I better not argue with him, so I nodded. “Okay,” I said and, only once I was settled back and comfortable, did he get up off the bed.

“I’ll be back in a couple minutes, and I mean it - don’t get off this bed,” he told me, pointing a finger at me, but holding a softness in his features and tone as he grabbed his bathrobe, pulling it on.

“Where are you going?” I asked. 

“Don’t worry about it. Just lay there, relax, and I’ll be back in about two minutes,” he told me, then hurried downstairs.

I laid my head back into the pillows and stared up at the ceiling not exactly sure what I was feeling. Anxious? Maybe. I had resolved to let Cayde in more, especially tonight but, now that tonight was here … I seemed to be trying to find ways to avoid it … or deter from it in some way. Giving him a massage was a way to distract myself while talking about it. So I didn’t have to really connect to what I was talking about. But it seemed there was a part of me that was determined to go deeper into it and Cayde had picked up on it. 

Why was I so afraid to talk with him about it? I knew it wouldn’t make him go running off or anything. I knew he’d be supportive and here for me. I knew he actually wanted to know what really happened in there, not just what he knew from the reports and over the comms. So what was it? Why couldn’t I just talk to him the way he talked to me? Why did I always have to be the tough one? Not that I _had_ to be with him, but I seemed determined to be. Because …

I heard footsteps and lifted my head, seeing Cayde coming back up, carrying a glass of rosé and a small plate of cut up pieces of the chocolate he bought for me yesterday at the Festival. I smiled. “Is that what you were after?” I asked as he came over to my side of the bed, setting the plate down on the bedside table before handing me the wineglass. “Mm hmm,” he nodded, leaning over, kissing my forehead. 

“Now …” he said, taking his robe off. He draped it over the leather bench at the foot of our bed and went to his dresser and pulled out a pair of sleep pants, pulling them on. “You don’t get to argue with me. You don’t get to play ‘big strong Titan’. You don’t get to be the tough one tonight.” He came back over, picking up the bottle of lavender oil along the way, and got up on the bed, sitting down on his knees near my feet. “I know you like to. I know, for whatever reason, you’ve got it in your head you've got to look after me and make sure I’m okay first.” He poured a little oil into the palm of his hand before closing the bottle and rubbing his hands together. “All the time, actually.” He took my left foot in his hand and started slowly sliding and gently squeezing his fingers along the back of my calf to my heel, making me sigh and close my eyes. “You tend to take whatever frustrations you got out on those punching bags of yours, or working out, or meditating, rather than talking about what you’re feeling. You’re a really great listener, Ais, with really great advice. There’s no one I’ve ever felt safer with. Ever. Really. No one else I could ever open up to that much. No matter what’s wrong or what I need, I can always go to you. But you never take your own damned advice. Which you should. I know you trust me. I know you feel safe with me. But what I don’t get is why you won’t talk to me. Open up. And I know you were tryin’ here a little while ago, but you couldn’t really do it without somehow takin’ care of me in the process to distract yourself. Why?” 

I opened my eyes and looked at him as he moved his hands to work over the top of my foot and massage my ankle. It felt amazing and relaxed me. I sipped some of the rosé and laid my head back in the pillow, looking up at the ceiling again. “You’re … afraid of being alone, right? … Of being left alone. Like … it terrifies you to lose everyone. That feeling, thinking about it. You know the one I’m talking about?”

“This ain’t about me, Ais,” Cayde gently told me.

“That’s not what I mean,” I said, shaking my head. “I’m trying to set something up for you to understand. But I’m right, aren’t I? You know that feeling I’m talking about. Of all things out there - Save … save us losing each other. That aside, because that’s a whole other thing and - and I don’t even want to think about that - so … just in a general sense … if you were to say there was one thing that terrifies you the most, that would be it, right? That loneliness.”

He looked at me for a moment, then nodded. 

I nodded, too. “Yeah. So … you have loneliness. Me … the thing that scares me?” I noticed he’d stopped rubbing my foot and was watching me, actually genuinely curious, waiting for me to say what it was. I took a bigger mouthful of my wine before telling him. “Vulnerability.”

He blinked at me. “Vulnerability?”

I nodded.

He frowned. “I’ve seen you vulnerable before, though. Or … do you mean something else?”

“I mean … Becoming reliant. Needing someone to … to take care of me. Losing my strength or ability to fight. Needing someone besides Ghost to help me. Feeling like I need to be taken care of … that I can’t handle things on my own. It terrifies me.” I drank more of the wine. “Since the Cosmodrome … I’ve only been reliant on myself with just Ghost there to help. I woke up, confused and terrified, with two choices, fight or run. I didn’t know where I was or where to run to, so I fought. And, along the way, I watched. I watched people die, Guardians die, monsters crawl out of the dark, so called gods threaten all we know. I’ve been tired and afraid, and lost, and sometimes wondering why in the hell am I here? Why me? What was I that made that giant ball pick me? And, somehow - for some reason - I’m the only one who can do some of the things I do. Other Guardians have gone in where I have. Some with WAY more experience than me.” I shook my head. “Never came back. But I went in and did what they couldn’t and I don’t know why. So I keep getting sent back in to places. The worst of places … Absolute hell. And I go because … because I feel this - this will inside me to do it because it’s the good and right thing to do, even though I really don’t want to because I feel like I’m going to break sometimes.” I looked at him feeling so tired. “But I go … deeper and deeper each time, even though it scares the hell out of me. And I feel a piece of me get left behind or damaged in some terrible way each time and it pisses me off because I feel like I’m going to give in and I refuse but I’m so worn down. Then - before you moved in - when I’d come back - sometimes not even sure if I was glad I had - I’d turn in a report and go back to an empty and quiet apartment. Ghost - as you know - is a wonderful friend who has always been with me all the way - but he can’t hug me. He can’t offer warmth or reassurance in a way a person can … so … I’d just push the fear and loneliness down and deal as best I could, drink to help myself get some sleep, then get up and do it all over again, day, after day, after day.” I swallowed and drank a bit more of the wine, the glass almost empty. “Then, one day, I left this world - this very realm …” I downed the rest of the wine and set the glass on the nightstand. “And what I saw - what I realized - made me suddenly feel so small and hopeless. Like there was so much more out there than I ever imagined. Things much worse than what was in my nightmares. And it felt like everything I’d spent the last few years fighting against was nothing compared to what’s coming … like it was nothing compared to what’s been surrounding us in the dark this whole time. _Everything_ I put into this fight so far was all I had and it doesn’t seem like it barely made a dent so how, _how_ are we going to stop what’s coming? Even with all of us, it doesn’t seem like it’ll be enough.” I shook my head, feeling tears slowly escaping, rolling down my cheeks as I looked at Cayde, noticing he had been completely focused on me up until that point, just letting me talk - letting me get it out. “And you know the worst part?” I asked him, as my vision blurred. “Lately, all I’ve been thinking is how afraid I am, the moment I marry you, the worst of the worst is going to come crawling out of the dark and I’m going to lose you all over again and not be able to save you.”

Cayde let go of my foot and quickly crawled up beside me and, before I knew it, I was in his arms and being pulled against his chest. “Come’ere,” he whispered.

I don’t ever remember his chest feeling so broad and solid before, or his arms as strong as they were in that moment, but they held me like the fate of the world depended on it while his hand was gentle and soothing at the back of my head, petting me softly. “Nothing’s gonna happen to me, Ais,” he whispered, rocking me from side to side. 

I was so tense and stiff, trying so hard to hold on, my muscles actually burned. It felt like someone was stabbing me with hot knives everywhere. 

“Hey, hey,” he whispered, then softly kissed my temple. “I’ve got you this time,” he told me. “You hear me? I’ve got you. And they may not be Titan arms, but they’re Exo arms. Next best thing. Nothin’s gettin’ past these babies,” he said, a smile in his voice and I couldn’t help but smile, too, around a few sobs. “And I promise you, nothin’ is ever gonna take away your strength, baby. No matter what. Sometimes … sometimes it takes greater strength to be vulnerable. If-if that makes sense. And if it feels like you don’t have it, you take mine, okay? Whatever you need. Either way, I gotchya.” 

I nodded and held onto him so tight, at one point I was afraid of hurting him, but he just gently shushed me and rubbed my back. I’d never cried so much in all my five years of Guardian life. Never allowed myself to. I really didn’t know how Ikora and Zavala seemed to hold it together with all they knew. And I never dared ask. Cayde, I knew how he did, though, and I knew he had his moments where he didn’t hold it together and came to me. And I knew he’d been wanting me to open up more and come to him like I finally was now. But, until this moment, I just didn’t have it in me.

Actually, I couldn’t lie, it did feel good to let all that out after all this time. I’d really needed it.

When I finally calmed down and caught my breath, I felt Cayde’s hand still rubbing my back and the gentle, slow rocking motion of his body. “Now I now why you’ve been sleeping more lately,” I rasped. “This is exhausting,” I said, trying to joke.

He softly chuckled. “Yeah, but you feel better, don’tchya?”

“Ask me when my head stops throbbing,” I smirked.

I felt him shift and then suck in a bit of a hiss. “Ooh.”

I lifted my head. “What?”

He winced a bit. “Um …” He softly kissed my forehead and rubbed my shoulders. “Wait right here. I’m just gonna run in the bathroom and be right back.” He hopped off the bed and went into he bathroom. I reached up and touched my face and felt it was hot and puffy and I frowned. I leaned to the side of the bed and looked in the mirror over my dresser and winced at what I saw then flopped over and hid my face in Cayde’s pillow. “Urrrrrgh.”

“Ais?” I heard him come back over then felt a gentle pat at my shoulder as his weight dipped the mattress beside me. 

“I look awful,” I mumbled. 

“Well … y-yeah, you got major cry-face, but it’s okay. You’re still beautiful. I brought you a cool washcloth and some aspirin. Here.”

I took a shaky breath and sat up a little, unable to really look at him. I took the aspirins and small cup of water, drinking them down, then took the washcloth. “Thanks,” I muttered, feeling embarrassed.

“Hey, all those times I cried with you and you’re worried about this?” He affectionately told me, motioning to my face.

“You can’t get cry-face,” I pointed out, pressing the folded washcloth to my eyes, sighing at the soothing, cool feel of it.

“Well, yeah, true, but, still. Pretty embarrassing. Remember what I said, though, right? We’re one? So … your cry-face is kinda my cry-face, right? So it’s okay. Besides, I’m not gonna make fun of you or anything,” he assured, petting my knee.

“I know,” I sighed. “Just … not used to you seeing me like this.” I huffed a little. “It’s funny, though. I can be completely naked with you, but this freaks me out.”

He chuckled. “You really are so beautiful right now, y’know that?”

I lifted my head and looked at him, sniffling a little. “I am? Puffy eyes and all, huh?” I asked.

He smiled and nodded. “Yeah,” he whispered. “Cause you just bared a really deep parta yourself to me. And it means a lot.”

I shifted closer and rested my head on his shoulder as he slipped his arms back around me, holding me close and secure. “I knew you’d been dealin’ with a lot, Ais, but I had no idea you’d been holdin’ onto that much. Even after seein’ those Warlocks, and doin’ that meditation and all … I didn’t know it had got to ya like that.” He leaned back a little. “This past year … even though I was sleepin’ on the couch … just havin’ me in the apartment with ya … was that helpin’?”

I nodded. “Having you around was the best, Cayde. It still is. Always will be. Losing you … I really would have lost everything. Not just my best friend but my rock. My soul. I’d have been completely lost without you. In every way.” I reached up and caressed his cheek, the pad of my thumb softly brushing over his lips. “Even without this bond we share … if you hadn’t asked first, I’d have asked you to marry me.”

His eyebrows rose. “Really? You were thinkin’ about it, huh?”

I nodded. “Oh yeah,” I smiled. “I knew you were my other half.”

He smiled back and leaned closer, kissing my lips, nuzzling me softly. “I love you,” he whispered.

“I love you,” I whispered back.

“Hey, uh … you wanna know a really great cure for cry-face?” He whispered.

I arched an eyebrow? “Uh … Okay?” I smirked.

He leaned in close to my ear, his voice low. “Gettin’ naked and lettin’ your … _husband_ slowly ... sensually ... eat chocolate off your body.”

Both my eyebrows rose and I shivered. He’d said ‘husband’. We hadn’t had the wedding yet, but that bond we shared … technically, as far as we were concerned … we were married. And when he said that … I suddenly felt a million times better than I had just moments before. And … I had to admit, the idea of Cayde eating pieces of decadent chocolate off my body …

“You’re cheeks are rosy,” Cayde murmured.

“It’s suddenly very warm in here,” I nodded, grinning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was actually emotionally draining to write because there was a lot happening between Cayde and Ais dealing with things. But I hope you all liked it and got a bit more insight into Ais and who she is and why she is the way she is. Yes, the Hive messed her up, but not in the same way they messed Eris up. Also hope you liked my version of the more sombre version of the Festival of the Lost that isn't shown in the game.
> 
> More to come soon but there may be a bit of a time jump to take us into winter in the story while the game itself moves through May. The wedding isn't scheduled to take place until June (within the fic) which I'm holding off on just to make sure nothing comes up in the game in the meantime. If things stay somewhat in the clear in the game until June, then my plan is to do the Dawning and Crimson Days through May, then the Wedding. I'm just watching the timelines because I know that other thing after Season of the Drifter will happen at some point but I don't know if there were dates for that or not. So I just want to be careful not to clash anything. So, that's the plan. I may slow the fic through May with just Dawning and Crimson Days to see what the game does for June. If June is clear (Or at least part of it), I'll do the wedding. If something needs to happen just before it, I'll work it in. But we're getting close! :D Okay, As usual, hope you liked it, if you have questions or comments, feel free to leave them! Thanks all! <3


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I'm going to be honest and say there was really no central point to this chapter other than, I just wanted to write them having a day and use it to shed a bit more light on Cayde in a bit of a personal way as well as use it to open up for more stuff down the road. The day isn't over with this chapter, either. I broke it up and more is coming in the next chapter. As you will see, this chapter takes place about two months after the last one. We're now in December. The Dawning is approaching soon. This one was just kind of me starting to write something and letting it take over and write itself to see where it went. I kind of liked it and liked that it really did turn out to just show Cayde and Aislin outside for a day just being a couple. No missions, no Tower stuff, no fighting bad guys. Not that there won't be more of that at some point, but I kind of have fun with this stuff and like exploring it, curious to play with Cayde in this setting. So if you like it and like seeing Cayde in this setting and getting to know him better here, too, let me know. If it bores you, though, let me know. I certainly don't want to bore you guys. I'm happy to throw in some explosions! LOL!

I woke with a start to a loud thud and a pained groan. I sat up and immediately looked to Cayde’s side of the bed, seeing space empty and the sheets and comforter pulled down over the side. “Cayde?” I asked, moving over to his side of the bed.

“Ooow,” I heard him groan.

As I scooted over, I looked over the edge of the mattress to see him laying on the floor, his legs partially tangled in the corner of the sheets and comforter, holding his head in his hand.

“Cayde!” I kicked the sheets off and got out of the bed, dropping down to his side, just as Ghost came floating up to our room in concern, checking on us. “Hey, are you alright?” I asked, helping Cayde untangle his legs and sit up, looking him over.

“What happened?” Ghost asked.

“Fell outta the bed,” Cayde grumbled. 

“Yo-What?” Ghost asked.

“I roll around in my sleep sometimes,” Cayde said, holding the right side of his head. 

I gently eased his hand away and winced a little. “Ouch,” I uttered.

“Is it bad?” Cayde asked.

“No, not horrible. But you pulled the corner of your eyebrow out of alignment.

“I got it,” Ghost said, and touched the spot with a little flickering beam of light, fixing it.

Cayde relaxed and blinked, then moved his eyebrow up and down. “That feels better. All fixed?” He asked.

“All back to normal,” I smiled, nodding, reaching up, giving Ghost an affectionate pet. “Thank you Little Light.”

He bobbed and looked Cayde over some more, making sure that was the only damage. Cayde twisted a little, watching him before looking at me. “You okay?” I asked, touching his cheek.

He set his hand over mine and nodded. “Yeah, yeah. Musta …” He sighed. “Musta just been havin’ a bad dream or somethin’.” 

I nodded and leaned forward, kissing the tip of his horn then got my feet under me and helped him to his. 

“Ooh. Shit. I marked up the floor,” he said, noticing a nick in the wood as he got up.

I glanced down at it, seeing it, and shook my head. “It’s okay. Don’t worry about it. We can get that fixed. I’m just glad you’re alright.” I looked him over again and rubbed his chest before fixing the sheets and comforter, pulling them back so he could lay back down. I pet the spot. “It’s still early. Lay down.”

“Gonna hafta get those bars and put them on here for me,” Cayde said as he got back in the bed, pulling the comforter up.

“You mean like on the infirmary beds?” I asked, getting in on the other side.

He nodded.

“Naah,” I said, sliding over to him, slipping my arm around his middle. “I’ll just have to hold onto you tighter.”

He chuckled.

“Sure you’re alright?” I asked. Laying my head on his shoulder. 

“Yeah, I … I guess I was havin’ a nightmare or somethin’ … I don’t remember, though. Fallin’ and hittin’ my head startled the hell outta me. Forgot everything else.”

I noticed Ghost watching us for a few moments and I looked over at him. “You want to stay?” I asked him.

He shook himself back and forth. “No. Just making sure Cayde’s alright.”

“Yeah, I’m alright. Thanks, buddy,” Cayde told him, giving him a wink.

Ghost bobbed, then floated off over the balcony and back downstairs.

Cayde settled back on the pillow. “Wow, haven’t had that happen in a long time.”

“Falling in your sleep?” I asked.

“Yeah. I used to fall off a lotta stuff when I slept. Even when I was standing, I’d fall. I rolled around a lot. Sometimes off other cliffs, not just that first one I ran off-a. I mean, I’d die in my sleep and Sundance would have to rezz me awake. And then, when I was first stayin’ with you, I fell off the couch a few times. But … that was only a couple times. Then … nothin’. It stopped when I started talkin’ to you more. This is the first time it’s happened in … a little over a year.”

I frowned. “You said you might have been having a nightmare. Was it one of _the_ nightmares?”

He glanced at me. “You mean … of the tower? Fightin’ my way to it?”

I nodded.

He frowned, squinting his eyes. “Maybe.” He shook his head. “I can’t remember anything.”

“Nothing at all?” I asked, a bit concerned.

He frowned and shook his head. “No.” He looked at me and I felt the slight concern in him as well. It wasn’t usual for him to not remember anything at all, even with a dream. When stuff happened with his memory, it raised red flags for him.

“Hey,” I whispered, sitting up, rubbing his chest. He looked at me. “It’s okay. Maybe, when you fell, like you said, it just startled you and you became so focused on that, whatever you were dreaming was forgotten. Maybe you weren’t having a nightmare. Maybe it was just a regular dream that was a bit crazy? Maybe …” I smiled a little. “Maybe you were dreaming I got a little too frisky for ya,” I said, trying to cheer him up, winking at him.

He snorted and did smile, and I knew he appreciated it. “Nope. No way I’d have forgotten that,” he said, shaking his head. "But I’m makin’ a mental note to think about that tonight before I nod off and see if I can work in into a dream.” 

I chuckled and leaned forward, giving him a kiss and a tender nuzzle. He looked up at me and I could not only sense he needed me, but saw it in his eyes. “Come’ere, handsome,” I murmured, and slipped my arm under the back of his head, laying over him a little so he could hold onto me. 

He immediately put his arms around me and pressed his face into the crook of my neck and breathed me in, sighing, the sound a little shaky. He was worried. Maybe even a little scared. All the shit he’d been though in his past - even if it wasn’t stuff this version of himself could personally remember and only knew through notes from his other selves - it had left trauma. A lot of trauma. Clovis Bray had done a tremendous amount of damage to him - both as a human and an Exo - that had carried over. It wasn’t that Cayde couldn’t function. He could. But he had his moments. Little triggers. Few and far between. Stress tended to make them happen more and they almost always happened around sleep because it opened up the subconscious part of his brain where those things that were subdued or lost tended to linger. 

After a little while, I felt him shift his head and press his cheek to my shoulder. “Is’snowing,” he murmured.”

“Hmm?” I asked and lifted my head, twisting around a little to look out around the corner of our room and beyond the balcony to the double-story window. In the early morning sunlight, I saw the slight shimmery movement on softly falling snowflakes and smiled, resting my head against Cayde’s.

“This’ll be the first winter where I’ll actually really feel the cold,” Cayde murmured. “But I’m still lookin’ forward to it. I actually really like the winter.”

“Yeah?” I asked. “I didn’t know that,” I smiled, starting to soothingly caress the side of his face.

“Mmm,” he nodded, sounding a little sleepy. “Livin’ out in the Wilds - in the early days - useta take the kids out in the hills nearby the villages I was stayin’ at - where it was safe. They’d made sleds outta old car doors. Would smooth out the outside of the doors and bend the window frames around to hold onto. Put a rope on to pull ‘em up the hill. Had a good handful of ‘em. They’d all get together in a big group an’ go down on ‘em in twos. Sometimes a couple other adults would come. Take turns watchin’ the area, keepin’ a fire goin’, makin’ some hot drinks and food. Kid’s’d go sleddin’ for hours. Made a whole day of it.” He chuckled. “Even got me to go with ‘em a couple-a times. On the sleds, I mean.” He shook his head. “Little monsters - I swear they’d steer me down a path that’d bounce us into a ditch just so we’d go rollin’ and they could laugh at the Exo ass up in a pile-a snow.”

I chuckled at the image that came to mind.

“Eeeh, it was fun, though. Good times,” Cayde nodded.

“We’ll have to do that,” I said, nodding.

“Go ass up in a pile of snow?” Cayde asked and I chuckled.

“Idiot,” I affectionally said and he snickered. “Sledding,” I told him. “I’ve never done it.”

“Geez, babe, we need to get you outta this Tower,” Cayde muttered.

I smiled. He used to say that of himself so often. “Yeah, I know. But you’d do it, huh? You’d brave the cold snow out there just for me, hm?”

“You know I’d brave anything for you,” he said. 

I smiled again. “Well, my brave Hunter, for that, maybe I’ll make you more of that hot chocolate I know you like. The one with the cinnamon.”

“Ooooh,” he murmured.

“And some of that homemade tomato soup with the freshly grated parmesan cheese on top,” I continued.

“You’re killin’ me, Ais.”

I grinned. “And snuggle you by the fire while you’re all bundled up in a warm, soft sweater and cozy slippers.”

“Okay, it’s official, winter is definitely my favorite time of year,” Cayde nodded. “Hate the cold, but love what it gets me.”

I chuckled and looked at him, noticing and feeling he’d cheered up considerably. 

“Thanks, beautiful,” he whispered.

“Anytime,” I whispered back, giving him a kiss. “Now, I was thinking, we have a few things planned for today, but the morning is free. Since I seem to have put you in the mood for hot chocolate and tomato soup, how about I take you into the City to get what we need so I can make it for dinner and, while we’re there … maybe … if you want … if you would be okay with it … ” I frowned. “I’m not sure if this is going to set you at ease or insult you.”

He smiled. “Just say it.”

“Maybe we get a really thick, soft rug for under the bed, so if you do roll out again you don’t get hurt.”

Both his eyebrows went up. “Oh.”

I winced. “I really didn’t want to insinuate anything, I just …” I shrugged.

He snorted. “You didn’t insult me,” he shook his head. “It’s actually a good idea,” he nodded, glancing over the side of the bed. “And beats my face leaving more marks in the wood.”

“I don’t care about the floor, Cayde. I just don’t want you to get hurt, Ghost being able to heal you or not.”

He looked at me and softly smiled, shaking his head and gave me a kiss. “I can get shot, dismembered, and blown up, but I take one little tumble out of the bed and dislocate and eyebrow … You’d be an absolute wreck if I weren’t immortal and couldn’t be healed, wouldn’t you?”

I pondered that for a moment then nodded. “Most likely.”

He laughed and shook his head again. 

 

“You know, I think you like dressing me as much as you like undressing me,” Cayde said, as I wrapped an extra scarf around his neck. I was dressed in regular civilian winter clothes, but Cayde was in his Hunter armor because it had the thermals built into it and we’d both realized he didn’t have a winter coat. It wasn’t something he’d needed before but it was now on the list of things we were going to pick up while out today.

“Any excuse to touch you,” I smiled.

“Oh, is that what it is?” He smirked, pressing a little closer.

I smirked back and slipped my arms around his waist, pulling him into me and gave him a kiss. “Mmm. That and you’re cute.”

He arched an eyebrow. “I know.”

I laughed and playfully tapped the tip of his horn with my finger. “Come on, handsome. Lots to do and then a meeting and I think there’s some Fallen and Hive causing problems we need to see to, and Drifter’s been sending you coded messages about trying to get you back into Gambit for a few more matches. Apparently not only does he think, of all people, you should be in there banking more motes, but he likes seeing you in action. Which … that could be taken in some suggestive ways.”

Cayde snorted. “Oh, hey, speakin’ of suggestive ways,” he said, as we separated - he gently touched the top of Sundance’s urn before moving to open the front door and hold it for me - “I got a message from Amanda this morning while you were in the shower.” He paused as Ghost floated out behind me, then closed the door and offered me his arm as we made our way through the inner wall neighborhood that led to the elevators. 

“What about?” I asked, slipping my arm through his, prompting him to continue.

“Well, it was weird … she said Hawthorne stopped by last night for some parts she ordered, then got to talkin’, and the conversation led to me. She started askin’ Amanda how long you and me had been together and if it had been known for a long time, and were we really livin’ together … she said it got sort of passively aggressive personal. Whatever that means.”

I sighed, wincing. “A couple months ago, when Shiro came to visit, and we were getting ready to head into the EDZ to look into Master Ives’s murder, I contacted Devrim about what was going on. I mentioned you were coming with me and he was like: ‘Oh, I finally get to meet Cayde face to face, Hawthorne talks about him all the time’ and then he mentioned how he thought she had a bit of a crush on you. I didn’t think it was my place to tell him you were spoken for and then things got busy, we had the Candle-Lighting Ceremony, the rest of the festival, and Shiro being here, missions, meetings … It never seemed like the right time to bring it up and then I honestly completely forgot all about it. It just slipped my mind. I’m sorry. I should have told you when it happened.”

Cayde frowned. “So … you knew she had a crush on me?”

“I knew Devrim thought she did. I … didn’t know for sure she did. At least … that’s what I told myself at the time.” I sighed. "But … thinking back to a couple strikes I’d been on where she’d teamed up with you over the comms … I don’t know … You were just starting to hang out with me and coming around the apartment but not really living there on a regular basis. We weren’t really a couple or anything, even though we were getting closer. So it wasn’t like I had a right to be jealous or tell her she couldn’t - ” I frowned. “I just noticed the way she’d talk to you and joke with you. It was sort of flirty and familiar. And then there was the way she’d use your stuff, like your data pad …” I frowned again. “Okay, maybe it annoyed me a bit. A lot, actually. And … I didn’t … want to admit it to myself then but I … maybe sorta I felt like she was encroaching on _my_ territory.”

Both his eyebrows went up in surprise. “ _Your territory_?” He asked, sounding amused.

“I know, I know. That sounds awful. I’m just being honest, though. It’s how I really felt, even if I didn’t like admitting it and refused to let myself see it back then. But, yeah. So, I don’t know if she really did have a thing for you or not and it was just me overreacting. But, if she was asking Amanda those questions … than it sounds more likely she did. Or does.”

“Soooo … basically … you were trynna be all respectful and stuff, but, deep down, you wanted to gouge her eyes out?” Cayde asked and I looked at him, noticing a smirk.

“You gotta stop reading those cheesy romance novels,” I told him.

He leaned closer to me, his eyes narrowing. “Didn’tchya?” He whispered.

I stopped walking, making him stop, too, and arched an eyebrow at him. I was trying not to smile. “Cayde, if I didn’t know better, I’d think you’re trying to play out a fantasy of two women fighting over you.”

“What?” He scoffed, leaning back, looking affronted. "No! Noooo. Pfffft. No.” He shook his head. Even Ghost was looking at him skeptically, though.

“It would be a bloodbath and I’d totally win,” I told him, deadpan, then put my arm possessively around his waist and tugged him along to the elevator, feeling a bit of smug superiority well up inside me. He was totally mine. And I knew it wasn’t because I’d ‘won’ him. He’d chosen me. And, deep down, that really touched me and made me feel special.

I allowed myself to smile then.

Once we were inside the elevator and heading down, Cayde cleared his throat. “Y-Y’know, I’m totally secure in my masculinity, so I have no problem saying I find it such a turn on when you get possessive like that.”

I chuckled and looked over at him.

“That being said, and I’m bein’ serious now,” he looked over at me, “I’ll, uh, shoot a message to Amanda while we’re on the El. Stop in to talk to her on our way to the meeting. I wanna know what Hawthorn said and how. Just get a better sense of it. Either way, think I’m gonna have to have a bit of an uncomfortable conversation with her about this. I don’t know if she’s hurt, angry, thinks I somehow led her on by sayin’ or doin’ somethin’ …” He shrugged. “Either way, should get it cleared up.”

I nodded. “It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have let it go. It really did slip my mind, though. I’m sorry.”

“Hey, it’s not the end of the world,” Cayde assured, affectionately leaning into me, kissing my cheek. “And nothin’ ever happened with her and me. At least, nothin’ on my end. I can’t help whatever she may have thought. But I never had any feelings for Hawthorne. I like her, sure. She makes for one hell of a Hunter for a non-Guardian. Proud to have her on the team. But I only ever saw her as a friend. Still do. Nothin’ more.”

I smiled. “I know,” I nodded. And I did. Despite whatever feelings jealousy may have sparked early on, I never, for one second, doubted Cayde’s faithfulness or trust.

 

We spent the morning wandering the City. After getting Cayde a nice, long and heavy, fur-lined leather coat with a hood, we went to a furniture shop and picked out a thick, fluffy and soft white rug to be delivered to the apartment for under the bed. Once that was done, we headed for the marketplace. It had been a little while since we’d been in this part of the City and noticed it had been closed in for the winter, the usual outdoor stalls now surrounded with special walls that had plexiglass inserts to block out the cold winds and snow, making it an indoor market until spring came back around. It was loud and busy as usual, though, people all over, shouts from vendors and customers bidding on certain larger items that were being carted in, mostly fish that had been brought in from the coast. Some stalls were cooking up items bought fresh right on the spot, creating an array of spicy and exotic smells that floated about the air all around us. We walked around, Cayde carrying a basket for us as we placed a few items in it, mostly the tomatoes and bottles of cream I’d need for the soup, as well as the parmesan. I also got some chocolate and cinnamon and Cayde added in some cloves and nutmeg as well as some apples and some other things. I smiled at him when I saw what he was putting in the basket.

“If I didn’t know better, I’d say those were some ingredients for an apple pie,” I said.

He glanced at me and winked.

My smile broadened. For a man who had lived so long in the Wilds, and played it solo as a Gunslinger with the gambling and looting lifestyle before becoming a Vanguard, he really did the domestic thing so well. He’d adjusted to living with me like it was second nature. He cooked, enjoyed being close, actually picked up after himself, despite his claims about being messy, he even cleaned every now and again. He was completely the opposite of the impression he tended to give off at first. Of course, that didn’t surprise me. But he genuinely seemed to love this life he’d fallen into. I knew he loved it out in the Wilds. Craved being out there and loved the missions we went on - loved that it got him out of the Tower every now and again. There was no getting that out of his system and no way I’d ever want to change that about him. But I did love this other side to him I’d discovered. And I think he was loving it, too. Maybe it was something that was always there, he’d just never had a reason to tap into it until now. No reason or desire to have a home and settle down because there was no one to share it with. Until now. He’d only ever been a soldier. A fighter. A gun for hire. A loner. But, now that he had someone, a whole other side of him came out. Now we had a life we were trying to forge together. And, yes, we were still Guardians. There were still grave threats to this world and this Sol System. To the whole Universe. The Darkness was still out there. It was coming. With all its agents. And the Traveler had brought us back for this reason. To push it back. To save Humanity. We were here because we had the strength and will to fight. And we would.

But we also were capable of love. We weren’t just mindless weapons against evil. And oh, how I loved him. And how I loved making this life with him. Even knowing what was out there. Even though it did scare me. I wasn’t going to let it stop me. I’d take every second I had with him and live it. I’d almost lost him once. I wasn’t going to miss the chance to be with him again.

“Ais? You okay?” Cayde asked, pulling me out of my thoughts.

“Hmm? Oh, yeah,” I nodded, smiling. “I was just thinking how I love that you know how to make apple pie,” I softly chuckled, leaning against his side as he looked at me. “Not something I ever would have guessed you knew how to do.”

He snorted, amused. “Learned it a long time ago. Besides a simple stew, it’s the first thing I learned to make,” he said, letting me lean against him as we slowly walked, looking around for any other goodies to put in the basket. “It’s a cliché, I suppose, but a little old grandmother from one of the villages I lived at taught me. She useta bake all kindsa things in this old clay stove she had. All the kids in the village called her Baba. I think that was once an old world word for grandmother. She was really kind. Ya just didn’t touch anything she made until she told you it was okay or time to eat, otherwise she’d rap ya good on the knuckles with her cane.”

I chuckled. “Got you a few times, did she?”

“That stick of hers hurt,” Cayde nodded, snickering.

“What were you trying to snatch?”

“She made these ah-mazing date-filled cookies. They were soft and just mildly sweet … Oh, Ais … Mmmm!” He shook his head. “I think I remember how she made them, too. I’ll haveta make ya some. You’d love ‘em.”

“You, um … you realize, doing this whole domestic thing - cooking for me, being all sweet like this - it’s totally going get you laid tonight.”

He looked at me, eyebrows raised impossibly high before he looked down at all the things he was carrying. “I, uh … I shoulda got a bigger basket.”

I laughed.

After we picked out the rest of the food, I followed Cayde into a special part of the market for Exos where personal care products and other things were sold. He had things back at home but it was actually the first time I’d been with him to purchase things and, I don’t know, it felt oddly intimate in a new and exciting way. Like I was learning something new about him he was letting me in on. It wasn’t like I didn’t know what he had at home, but to actually be here when he bought things … it was just … it was different somehow. Made him seem … more in some way. If that made any sense.

While he looked on a shelf for some more of his face polish, I looked at a few things stocked on the shelves. One item looked sort of like a tiny drain snake you’d use on a clogged sink, only it came with a nicely made carrying case and other little attachments and brushes. I frowned at it, picking it up to look at it. I was pretty sure Cayde had a box almost like this, but older looking. “What’s this?” I asked him.

“Hmm?” He asked, glancing over his shoulder. “Oooh. That. That’s a sorta fancy and sometimes unpleasant Exo version of a toothbrush. I got one.” He came over to me as he set a tin of his usual polish in the basket. “We use it for cleanin’ out all the parts in our mouths. But, if food gets stuck further down, that’s what the longer pieces are for and …” He looked up at the shelf. “This,” his said, pointing to a bottle, “is a solution that dissolves whatever might be stuck in there. You put this stuff in the little bottle that comes with the kit and it flushes it through the hose as it works its way down though your throat. I’ve had to do it a couple times and, believe me, it’s why I’m so careful with what I eat, cause it’s not pleasant and you kinda gotta throw it all back up after.” I made a grossed out face. Yikes. “Yeah,” He nodded. “But, before these kits were made, it was pretty much just wait til whatever food was stuck in there either got pushed through by other food or … rotted and that’s kinda worse. It’s why Tevis useta tease me about my breath. Never let me live that down from the old days. So, when they came out with these, I got one.”

I frowned. Sometimes I really wondered just what it was about being an Exo that was supposed to have been better than being a human. It just seemed like it opened a whole host of other issues to deal with. Cayde took them all in stride and, being a Guardian, of course, that made some easier. Like the reboots. He didn’t have to deal with those. Dying and regenerating took care of his body feeling like it needed that refresher. Which, I was actually glad for. He also didn’t rust or fall apart in any way. No joints fell out of alignment or wore out. He didn’t break down. He still took care of himself in other ways. He took pride in his appearance, hence the Exo polish, and minding what foods he ate so things didn’t jam up the inner workings of his digestive system. But, the Exo’s who weren’t Guardians, like Banshee … they still had all those things to deal with. Really, the more I thought about it, the more I learned … What was Clovis-Bray really trying to do in creating Exos?

“Did I freak ya out?” Cayde asked.

“Hm?” I asked, coming out of my thoughts.

“You went away there for a minute,” Cayde said.

“Oh, no, no. I was just thinking how wild it was to have to deal with that. But, no, you didn’t freak me out,” I told him, shaking my head. “But, yeah. I mean, I’ve since learned why you stuck with softer foods and soups but, funny, I never thought to ask what happened if you got something really stuck down there."

He smirked. “You’ve always been sort of chivalrous about those things with me.”

“I never liked to intrude with personal stuff with you. You always seemed so private. I figured if you wanted me to know, you’d tell me,” I softly said, smiling.

He arched an eyebrow at me. “Ais … We sleep together,” he quietly said. “We are, for lack of official documentation and a ceremony, married. I don’t think there’s anything you can’t ask.”

I smiled and he smiled back.

“Okay, well, this isn’t anything crazy or even, by any stretch of the imagination, private, just something I wondered, and regarding food,” I said. “You always eat stuff that’s spicy and really rich. Is that because you just really like spicy and rich things?”

He shook his head. “It’s so I can taste them.”

“Your tongue?” I asked.

He nodded. 

I had sort of suspected, but I wasn’t sure. Cayde was a wild guy who was well traveled. You never knew. “So, it’s that your tongue has tastebuds sort of like mine, but not quite as developed, so spicy and rich to you tastes normal, but to me, is genuinely spicy and rich?”

He nodded. “You so could have asked me this a long time ago,” he chuckled, amused. “I’d have answered. This definitely wasn’t a question I’d have thought too personal at the time.”

I smiled. “I know. Still …” I shrugged. “Just seemed weird to ask.”

He chuckled again and shook his head, leaning forward, kissing my cheek, then moved down the aisle a little and picked up a jar of what was the Exo equivalent of lotion for the mesh that covered his joints, opening it, sniffing it, then looking at the label. “Sandalwood? That’s gonna be way too strong and weird with the mint, I think,” he muttered, putting it back.

I walked up behind him and rested my chin on his shoulder and looked at the jars on the shelf. “This is going to be a first for me, but the mesh on your body? The winter months bother it sort of like the way my skin dries out in the cold?”

“Yeah. The cold stiffens it. The lotion acts like a lubricant to keep it flexible and stretchy,” he nodded, leaning back into me a little, and I sensed the soft affection coming from him. I smiled. 

“So you’ll be wearing it almost daily? It’ll be like a cologne? What scent have you gotten in the past?”

He shook his head. “Unscented.” He glanced over his shoulder at me and gave a little shrug. “Didn’t really have a need to smell ‘nice’. But … I wanna change that. I … kinda wanna smell nice for ya. Not just like face polish.”

I smiled and kissed his shoulder. “You do realize you have a scent that’s uniquely you?” I quietly told him. “It’s mingled in with all the leather of your armor and your scarf, and just all around you,” I murmured, sniffing up the side of his face though his hood while being discrete, since we were in public.

“I know,” he softly replied, the optics of his eyes dimming a little in a tender reply. “But I want something else. Something special. Something …”

“Sexy?” I asked, smirking.

He nodded.

“You don’t want to get that here, then,” I shook my head. I grabbed a jar of the unscented mesh lotion and stuck it in the basket. “Come on.” I kissed his cheek. “Let’s pay for this stuff and I’ll take you to get some actual cologne.”

 

“Y’know, this is a part of the City I usually sold stuff but never really bought anything,” Cayde said, looking around. We were in a part of the City were the more fancy and upscale vendors and markets were. 

“Trinkets and things you ‘found’ in your travels, hm?” I asked, smirking.

He nodded. “Hey, uh … you and I … we never … we never talked about uh … are we gonna … um … are we gonna get bands? For the wedding? I mean … rings?”

I looked over at him, noticing he was looking at me. We really hadn’t talked a lot about the wedding, strangely enough. We had an approximate time for it, we knew who we wanted to officiate it, the basic ceremony and after party … but the finer details … we really hadn’t talked about it. 

I stopped walking and looked at him more fully, giving him my attention, sensing something deeper within him. This was very important to him. Far more important than he was letting on. And it wasn’t that he’d ever let it seem that it wasn’t important in any way or that it didn’t mean the world to him. I knew it did. It was just that he’d played it off in a casual way. Took it in stride. But, now, I was getting the sense that this was far more sentimental and important than he’d initially let on. That he actually wanted to do things for it and plan it. That he was sort of excited about it. And that made me excited about it.

“I’d love to get rings to exchange with you, yes,” I nodded, smiling. “How about we really talk about that and other stuff over dinner tonight?”

His whole face seemed to light up. 

Someone who really didn’t know an Exo, or really didn’t know one intimately, wouldn’t know all the vast expressions they really had and could truly show. But the longer I knew Cayde and the closer I got to him - especially being emotionally linked to him - the more I could see the emotions show on his face in the tiniest shift of plates or subtlest change in the light of his eyes. And, right now, he was positively giddy! He nodded. “That’d be wonderful. I’ve been wanting to talk with you about it but … I ain’t good with that stuff. I … Well, you know … I … I never thought I’d ever … ever be …” He looked at me, sort of helplessly and I smiled and stepped closer to him, slipping my arm around him in a warm hug, nodding. “I know,” I whispered. “Me either.” He tilted his head down onto my shoulder and we stood together like that for a few moments, letting the bustle around us fade away as we took comfort in each other’s warmth and loving reassurance before separating.

“Now,” I murmured, looking him up and down. “No question, I think a soft scent of mint suits you. It’s clean and I like the way the polish smells. I’ve gotten used to it with you.” He smiled. “And …” I slipped my arm around his as we started walking a little further down, heading for a place I knew that sold the really nice and expensive perfumes and colognes. “We need something fresh and crisp to balance it. Maybe a nice citrus. And … to make it extra masculine, add in a bit of a woodsy scent.”

When we got to the shop, we went through a few colognes trying to find the right one, a lot of which were way too strong, too generic, or, as Cayde said of one with a sour - looking face, too glimmer up the ass, Hideo. I had hissed Cayde’s name in admonishment, trying to shush him, and hoped no one heard that as I looked around. Cayde looked around, too, and shrugged like he didn’t care. And it was true, Hideo was an ass. But you really had to be careful. You never knew who might be listening where he was concerned. Problem was, Cayde was a bit reckless and didn’t think sometimes.

After a few more selections, Cayde found a cologne and brought it over to me. “Hey, I like this one, whaddeya think?” 

I sniffed it and immediately felt my toes unconsciously curl in my boots as a bit of an excited thrill went through me, my eyes widening. This scent was heady and masculine, but not overpowering, and invoked the same sensation I got when I sniffed the collar of Cayde’s suit he wore under his armor that day he’d left it with me while he’d changed into the black armor Zavala had made up for him. That day, I’d smelled decades of the Wilds embedded in the fabric of that collar along with the strong scent of leather and the rich iron from the sands of Mars. There had also been the spicy scent of gunpowder from so many missions and fights and the exotic hints of spices from the ramen shops mingled with his own personal musk - that slight hint of citrusy lemon that came from the soap he used. This cologne had all of that and even had traces of mint in it, too, just like his face polish. It was perfect! I looked at Cayde and swore he must have felt what the scent did to me because his eyes widened, too. “Whoa, okay, I think I’m getting this one,” he uttered, swallowing with effort. 

I just nodded in reply and licked my lips.

“Uh huh. Definitely this one,” he whispered and leaned over, kissing me softly, then took the bottle over to pay for it.

 

“So, uh … You really liked that scent, huh?” Cayde asked as we sat together on the El, heading back to the Tower.

“That’s what you smell like to me,” I told him, nodding.

“That’s what I smell like?” He asked, blinking.

I nodded. “I mean, it’s stronger. A little more fancy. But, yeah. Pretty much,” I smiled. “And I love it.”

“I … wow, okay,” Cayde said, sounding a bit surprised.

“What?” I smiled again.

“I, uh … w-well, to be honest, I didn’t realize I smelled that good. Not that I thought I smelled bad, I just … I didn’t really pay attention to how I smelled. I wasn’t goin’ for, y’know, smellin’ good. Just makin’ sure I didn’t smell bad.”

I chuckled and leaned against his side and whispered into his hood. “You remember our first night together?”

I felt him shiver. “I’ll never forget it,” he whispered back, a smile in his voice, and I felt him lean into me in return.

“Remember how I pressed close to you and sniffed you? You were so surprised I’d done it.”

He softly chuckled and nodded.

“You always smelled so good to me.”

He lifted his arm and put it around me and I rested my head on his shoulder as we leaned back in our seats. A couple other passengers looked at us, a little curious or nosey but, otherwise, ignored us. “So, now I got somethin’ that makes me smell even more like me to drive you extra wild, hm?” He murmured.

I nodded.

“If Andal could see me now, I don’t know if he’d be laughin’ or just standin’ there, jaw to the floor,” Cayde chuckled.

I smiled, mostly at Cayde talking about Andal with a smile in his tone, no stuttering or strain to his voice. His mood was light and good in this case and I was so happy for that.

“From what you’ve told me about him, I think he’d be surprised but really happy for you,” I said, nodding, rubbing his chest. I glanced up at him. “He’d want you to have a good life.”

Cayde looked at me and smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More to come soon. Like I said, let me know what you think. I'm just playing around with the dynamic here and curious about Cayde in a domestic situation. We know what he's like being a Guardian and a Vanguard, but how he handles living with someone and in a home is something else and that's sort of what I'm playing with here. My own interpretation of that and how I think he is, deep down, despite how he shows himself to be. I think, under it all, he's a man who's always wanted a family and a home, so he's, very tentatively, letting that side creep out and embracing it. We'll see how it plays out. :)


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 12? What? Really? Finally??? Yup! So sorry everyone. I have no idea why this one took so long. I just got stuck on it for some stupid reason. The next one following is the rest of this one. Just wanted to break it up. But I hope you enjoy the mush here and it tides you over! :)

When Cayde and I got home, we put everything away, then went to the Hanger to feed Colonel and chat with Amanda on our way to the meeting. She told us exactly what I figured based off what Devrim had said - that she was pretty sure Hawthorne had developed a bit of a crush on Cayde while working with him over the past year since the Red War and that she seemed a bit surprised to learn he and I were not only together, but that we’d been together for so long. And, while Cayde and I thought it odd it was only more recently she seemed to notice this, Amanda pointed out that Hawthorne tended divid her time between seeing to Clan business with Guardians from her perch in the Bazaar and making runs to the Farm, making sure the people there had the supplies and equipment needed to keep things running, especially since working the comms had sort of faded out when Cayde got called away to work with Petra out at the Reef when the Barons and Uldren had first became a problem. 

With that making a bit more sense now, Cayde decided he’d think how to approach it and talk with her later, so we went to the meeting with Ikora and Zavala and got the reports from the other Guardians from around the Sol System. Apparently there was a surge in Taken in the Dreaming City, as well as Scorn, and there were also reports of more breakouts at the Prison of Elders. Something was wrong within the mainframe itself but, with the Taken and Scorn issues, the Corsairs that were usually overseeing the prison had all been diverted to the Dreaming City. Right now, the Prison was unmanned.

“That is certainly one neither of you have to see to,” Zavala assured.

“No one else knows that prison like Cayde and I do, though,” I pointed out. “More importantly, no one else is available. We’re stretched thin as it is.”

“Besides, whaddeya want us to do?” Cayde asked. “Avoid it? What’ll that accomplish?” He shrugged. “Yeah. It’s got bad memories. Really bad memories. And … I think, one day, we should maybe go back _there_. Just to … y’know …. But, for now, we aren’t goin’ back in that particular parta the prison, are we?”

“As far as I know, no,” Zavala assured. “The breakouts are all in the upper levels and the arena. Around on the other side. You’d be going through there and possibly following the rail system.”

“Yeah, so …” Cayde glanced over at me. “We’ll be okay, right?”

I gave him a soft smile and a bit of a nod. “If you’re sure you want to, then it’s like you said, what does it accomplish if we run from it?”

He smiled back. “Alright! Let’s go put some prisoners back on ice, then! After that, we’ll swing by the Dreaming City, pay P.V. a visit. Help her out with some Taken and Scorn. Then, after all that, I’ll see to that thing I need to, we’ll cook a nice dinner, I’ll make you a fantastic apple pie, then we’ll kick back, relax, call it a day. How’s that sound?” He asked me, draping an arm over my shoulders.

“Perfect,” I said, smiling, leaning into him.

Cayde gave Ikora and Zavala a finger gun with his free hand, making a little clicking sound as he winked at them. “We good here?”

Ikora had a soft smirk on her face and Zavala seemed to be trying to hide his warm amusement. I got the sense they liked seeing us like this and knowing we had each other, even though they were still both worried about us going to the prison. “Be safe, the both of you. And keep in touch,” he told us.

“Hey, we are the pinnacle of keeping-in-touchness,” Cayde assured him as we backed out of the meeting room. 

I made a face at that as the door slid shut once we were on the other side. That just sounded weird.

“Pinnacle of keeping-in-touchness?” I asked him, looking at him skeptically as we headed back for the hanger. He still had his arm draped over my shoulders.

“Eeeh, they knew what I meant,” Cayde said, waving it off.

I snorted.

 

Once we were on the ship and prepping it for take off, I looked over at him.

“I’m really sure, Ais,” he told me without looking at me as he flipped a few switches, the engines starting to whir. “I need to. I want to.” He paused and looked over at me. “Are you really sure you want to go? I know it’s just as hard for you.”

“Just … don’t you dare die on me,” I softly told him. “I _mean _it.” I needed to do this, too. I knew I did. There was no point in running from it. There would be times when we would have to go back there for things, just like now. We had to force ourselves to accept what happened and move past it. Cayde was right. Running from it wouldn’t accomplish a damn thing. And that was a lot coming from him after all the pain and grief he’d been though and was still, in some ways, going though.__

__He looked at me and leaned over the console, pulling me into a hug. “I’m not going anywhere,” he whispered._ _

__“You better not,” I told him, hugging him back. “If you do, I swear, the moment Ghost rezzes you, I’ll kick you square in the ass.”_ _

__He softly chuckled and I smiled, hugging him a bit tighter._ _

__

__Cayde navigated the ship through the familiar purple nebula and graveyard of debris from old ship pieces and other junk that had found its way to the Reef over the centuries. There were no Corsairs guarding the area anymore and we saw no other Guardian ships on the radar. For now, it seemed, we were alone out here._ _

__As we made our way along a familiar route, we soon spotted the enormous ramshackle prison peeking out through the mists beyond. I felt a bit of anxiousness well up within Cayde as soon as his eyes settled upon it. The last time we were here was a few months ago, just a couple days after everything had happened._ _

__I reached over and set my hand on his arm, petting it softly, both to comfort him and because I just needed to feel him there. This place would never be easy for me to come back to. For him either. Never again._ _

__A warm, gloved hand settled on top of mine and gently squeezed before letting go as Cayde punched in commands for the ship then navigated us down and around to the docking area on the other side - to the west of where everything had happened with him and Sundance. It really was a completely different area of the prison. Ghost appeared as Cayde brought the ship around, looking out the window, surveying the area. “I always forget how massive this place is,” he quietly said. “That’s a lot of bad guys.”_ _

__“Queen’s been runnin’ this place for a long time,” Cayde nodded._ _

__Something suddenly dawned on me then. “Cayde … If Savathûn comes here … and does what Oryx did on Phobos …”_ _

__He looked over at me, his features grave. “Yeah.” He nodded. “We already know, babe. It’s, uh …” he sighed … “There’s a contingency plan in place.”_ _

__I frowned._ _

__“The Council agreed … life is life. Not all the baddies in here deserve death. Some do. Some are just that. Big. Bad. Mean. And just want to travel the Sol System and kill whatever crosses their path. But some are just like you and me - fightin’ for their people. Fightin’ for their home. For whatever they can to survive. Prisoners of war.”_ _

__I nodded in agreement._ _

__“So … Unless there’s no other choice … and I mean _no_ other choice … the prison stays. But …” he nodded, “if the time comes, and we know what happened on Phobos will happen there … And the thing with Gambit doesn’t pan out … If the Motes don’t work …”_ _

__“You rigged it to blow, didn’t you?” I gently asked._ _

__He nodded. “Every last inch of this place. No faults. No mistakes. No accidental ‘oops, it didn’t go off.’. And nothin’ left. Zavala gives the command, Petra, Ikora, and myself - we’re the ones with codes for the failsafe. The Queen was the original one with the code for the Awoken before Petra, but … Y’know, considerin’ what happened there … But, yeah. Place goes up if we have no choice.”_ _

__I nodded. “What I’ve seen of the Taken … What I’ve learned … death is better than becoming one. We’d be doing them a favor if it comes to that. I mean … Yeah … If it works and we have to … the Motes are going to be our best bet for fighting back. But, in the very end … ”_ _

__He nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, I know. Either way ya slice it … It ain’t a happy choice.”_ _

__I sighed and looked over at him and shook my head. “I had no idea you were carrying that around with you, though. This place being rigged.”_ _

__He offered me a bit of a sad smile. “Vanguard, babe. It’s a heavy job. And I know, little by little, you’re kinda easin’ into it cause of our bond. And I know you can take it. I know you’re strong enough and smart enough to handle it. But, yeah. There’s, uh … there’s stuff that … sometimes you just sit back and go: Well, shit, I wish I’d stayed in bed today,” he softly chuckled._ _

__I smirked._ _

__“I do that every day,” I smiled. “Now that I share it with you.”_ _

__His features brightened and he leaned over and softly kissed my cheek before I glanced up at Ghost. “You’ve been unusually quiet,” I said._ _

__“Taking it all in,” Ghost said. “Tactically, I’m not surprised. Relieved, actually.” He looked at Cayde. “Glad to know there really is a plan in place considering what we know is out there.”_ _

__“Did you think we wouldn’t have plan?” Cayde asked, sounding a bit surprised._ _

__“None of you ever really speak of anything,” Ghost pointed out._ _

__“Of course not. We’re the Vanguard. If we went and told our plans and it got out and everyone knew, we’d lose the element of surprise. It’s like a hand at poker. You don’t say what you’re holdin’!”_ _

__I smirked._ _

__

__Cayde brought the ship down to Airlock Six and Ghost secured it above the area while I got up and switched my chest armor out to the Hallowfire Heart. Over the last couple of months I’d finally managed to gather up all the resources I’d needed to get the proper work done on it I’d needed to bring it up to its full potential. I figured this would be as good a time as any to test it out._ _

__As I finished clipping it in place, Cayde smiled and stepped over to me, touching the part just under my chest where the flames flickered behind a transparent shield. “It’s beautiful … the way the fire dances within it,” he murmured, looking it over. It was the first time he’d been able to see it since it was all finished. “It’s really from the Sunbreaker Order, hm?” His eyes moved up to look at mine._ _

__I nodded and set my hand on his. “‘A Sunbreaker does not answer to any but the will of the Light.  Wields no power but the fury of fire.’,” I softly said._ _

__He nodded and leaned forward, kissing my forehead. “You are a fire, beautiful,” he murmured with warm affection, slipping his arms around me, hugging me._ _

__I smiled. “And you, my Little Firefly, you’re the spark,” I whispered as I held him in return, feeling a soft tingle of emotion within him, his arms tightening around me. “I love you,” I whispered, rubbing his back._ _

__“I love you,” he whispered back, nuzzling the side of my face, holding on for just a few more moments._ _

__“You ready?” I softly asked, easing back a little, looking at him. I got the sense that he wanted to go because he felt he really needed to but, at the same time, he just wanted to stay right here._ _

__“As ready as I’ll ever be,” he whispered back._ _

__

__The prison, actually, didn’t end up being as difficult for either of us as we had expected. Yeah, it had its moments, but it wasn’t terrible and we took our time and focused and relied on each other for support. Plus, two other things helped keep us moving. One was being in a completely different section with no actual triggers, and the other, believe it or not, was Drifter. He’d hacked into our comms, having ‘gotten word’ about the destabilization of the prison and Reef. Turned out it was Variks’s Servitor. It had gone crazy without Variks there and had actually come to think it was Variks. Started running the combat subroutine Challenge of the Elders, which explained why a lot of the prisoners were on the loose and all the transports were running. Basically, the prison was on the verge of being run by the prisoners and we had to get it back under control._ _

__What I was really grateful for was, after a while, Cayde started getting into things and focusing so much on fighting the bad guys, he started having fun. I could feel it. And that was another distraction. More importantly, he was having fun while remembering to keep his promise to me and being careful. He wasn’t getting cocky and taking unnecessary risks. We worked as a team and did things smart, sniping targets that could easily get us in their sights, then luring out the others and picking them off by tag-teaming. The only time we actually had a close call was at the end when we met the Servitor itself. It, literally, turned up the heat on us, too, then brought a Centurion in, along with a very large Vex. We were tempted to use one of our new combined powers but, with all the cameras in this place, we knew it would be a bad idea. We still weren’t sure what the rules about that were, and more discussions needed to be had with both Ikora and Zavala, as well as Shaxx, since he was overseeing our practice runs with them. If it was something to be discussed with the Council, we wanted to leave no room for anyone to call us a danger and we certainly wanted to make sure no foolhardy Guardians tried to recreate what we had by harming or killing theirs or another’s Ghost. There were just too many things to worry about right now to risk anyone knowing._ _

__In the end, Cayde and I did it the old-fashioned way. I used my Hammer, he used his Golden Gun, and I used the Hammerhead while he picked off anyone who came in his sights with his Ace and a Scout Rifle. We went thought a lot of ammo, but we did it and secured the prison, walking away with a few new weapons and parts Cayde would sell to Banshee, some glimmer we’d bank for a rainy day, and a cut for Drifter for helping out._ _

__

__When we got back on board the ship, I stashed the loot and weapons securely and turned around to see Cayde had sat down on the floor, leaning back against the hull._ _

__“Cayde?”_ _

__He looked up at me as I pulled off my helmet. He lifted his hands and I saw they were shaking. I frowned. I wasn’t getting any distressed emotions from him. He seemed okay. “It’s crazy,” he said. “I feel fine. But …” He shook his head and looked at his hands helplessly._ _

__I unclipped my chest armor and set it and my helmet aside then sat down with him. “Maybe you’re just relieved?” I offered, putting my arms around him._ _

__He nodded. “I thought I’d freak out at least once or … something … I really did. But … I was okay. Weird thing is I - I don’t know if I was okay cause I was numb or … if I was really … truly okay. Y’know what I mean?”_ _

__I nodded. “I was so focused on you - worrying about you - I wasn’t really paying too much attention to myself. I don’t know what I was really feeling in there,” I admitted._ _

__He frowned. “Ais …”_ _

__“I know. But you were having fun once we got past the transport rails. I felt it. And that helped me. I stopped worrying so much and relaxed. That was good. I’m glad you did okay,” I smiled. “You were like you were before. I mean, before the bad stuff happened that day.”_ _

__He chuckled a little. “Yeah. Yeah, before things went south, you and I … we were havin’ some fun that day, weren’t we?”_ _

__I silently laughed as I recalled him running about the prison, talking to me over the comms. “You were telling me to slow down cause I was making you look bad. And you were counting off the number of bad guys you’d shot. Oh, and I think you’d even made a comment about wondering how they even got guns while in there.”_ _

__“Yeah, what was up with that?” Cayde asked._ _

__“Only thing I can think is they broke into the arena weapons storage,” I said._ _

__His eyebrows went up. “Ooooh. Y’know, you’re probably right,” he nodded. “You sure you only been at this five years?” He asked._ _

__“Maybe I just had some really good teachers,” I smiled, affectionately tapping his horn._ _

__“Oh? Who might those be?” He asked, a twinkle in his eye._ _

__I tickled him, making him yelp and curl up. “Hey, hey, hey!” He protested, grabbing my hands._ _

__I laughed and eased up._ _

__He smiled and leaned forward, giving me a kiss. “How’d I get so lucky?” He murmured._ _

__“I was wondering the same thing,” I murmured back._ _

__

__After letting Ikora and Zavala know what had happened and that the prison was now secured, Cayde and I spent the rest of the afternoon in the Dreaming City helping Petra and the Corsairs push back Taken and Scorn. We also spent some time collecting several sprigs of Baryon Bough to bring back with us, some to use for repairs and upgrades for our own weapons and armor and the rest to give to Banshee to store and use for weapons he was working on._ _

__When we were done, and after making a ... special stop on Io for some quiet time to ourselves ... we returned to the Tower, the sun having already set. Once we dropped off a bunch of sprigs to Banshee, we made our way home, heading for the open Bazaar area, seeing Hawthorne’s post was empty._ _

__“Huh. Well, to be honest, I’m a bit too tired to try and handle that one tonight anyway,” Cayde admitted. We climbed the stairs near her post, but made a right instead and crossed over the stone walkway to the double doors that took us into the interior wall hallway that led to our apartment._ _

__“Lucky for you, though, I still got enough energy in me, I’m making that tomato soup,” I told him with a smile._ _

__“Seriously?” He asked. “After ...? Wow. You don’t have to do that, Ais.”_ _

__“No, I want to,” I nodded. “Besides, I was actually looking forward to it. And, um ... you did work up an appetite.”_ _

__He leaned over and lightly kissed my temple, softly chuckling. “I’ll help, then. How about you you treat yourself to a nice hot shower while I cut up the tomatoes and the other stuff and put them in the oven for you so they’re all set when you get out.”_ _

__I smiled. “You remember the recipe?”_ _

__“Of course. I love that soup. I think it was the first thing you ever made for me,” he said, his tone warm and full of affection. “It was after I’d had one of my nightmares, too. Talk about comfort food.”_ _

__I leaned into him and rubbed his chest as he gave me a little hug._ _

__When we got to the apartment and opened the door, the rug we’d ordered was leaned up against the wall, rolled and bound, ready for us to bring upstairs._ _

__“Oh. Rug. Right,” Cayde said, looking at it. “I see the Frame made sure it was delivered okay.”_ _

__“Well, I know what we’re doing tomorrow,” I said, looking at it and checking the delivery slip._ _

__“What, you don’t want to lug it upstairs and move a bed tonight, too?” Cayde teased._ _

__I chuckled, bumping him with my hip._ _

__

__I had to admit, even after Io, the hot shower was wonderful. I felt all my sore and stiff muscles relax and the still lingering chill from the prison fade away. Even with the thermal regulators in the armor, somehow, the cold always found a way to seep in by the end of a long day._ _

__As I stepped out of the bathroom, the savory, warm scents of tomato, garlic, basil, and other herbs drifted up the stairs followed by the soft sound of music. I smiled, breathing deep, and finished drying my hair and pilled on a pair of black leggings followed by a soft, light, cream colored, off the shoulder sweater, then headed downstairs. When I stepped down into the main living area, I saw Cayde in the kitchen near the stove, his back to me, slowly swaying to the music. It sounded like he’d put on a collection of some of our favorites and, right now, one from long, long ago was playing called ‘Movement’. He’d apparently changed while I was in the shower and had on a simple pair of dark blue pants and a light gray long sleeve top, the sleeves pulled up as he worked at chopping what I noticed were the apples he’d picked up earlier._ _

__I smiled and walked over to him, not saying anything as I slipped my arms around him from behind, resting my cheek against the back of his shoulder as I started to sway with him to the slow beat of the music while the lyrics picked up around us:_ _

_____When you move_  
_I'm put to mind of all that I wanna be_  
_When you move_  
_I could never define all that you are to me_

_____So move me baby_  
_Shake like the bough of a willow tree_  
_You do It naturally_  
_Move me, baby_

__“Hi,” he whispered._ _

__“Hi,” I whispered back._ _

_____You are the rite of movement_  
_Its reasonin' made lucid and cool_  
_I know it's no improvement_  
_When you move, I move_

__As he continued to cut up the apples, his hips swayed to the beat of the music and I could hear him lowly hum. I grinned and slid my hands down to his hips, lightly taking hold of them, pressing into him from behind, kissing the back of his neck as I moved with him, the music slowly picking up. He slyly glanced over his shoulder at me, chuckling and I nuzzled him and breathed him in, picking up the soft, heady scent of the cologne, my smile broadening._ _

__Sly devil._ _

__The oven dinged._ _

__“Your tomatoes are done,” he said, and playfully bumped me back with his bum._ _

__I laughed and kissed his shoulder, then grabbed some mitts and took the tray out, the veggies and herbs looking delicious._ _

__“Ooh, those came out good,” he said, looking them over._ _

__I nodded. “Thank you for taking care of them.”_ _

__“No problem,” he winked._ _

__“I see you’re going to make that pie, too,” I smirked, noticing he was almost done cutting up all the apples._ _

__“Mmm hmm,” he nodded._ _

__I softly chuckled and shook my head._ _

__“What?” He asked._ _

__“Funny, just … I never imagined I’d ever have anything like this,” I admitted, motioning to everything around us._ _

__He leaned over and softly kissed my cheek, holding his lips lightly pressed against me for a moment. “Neither did I, Ais,” he whispered. “Never in a million years did I ever think I would, let alone deserve it.”_ _

__I set the mitts down and hugged him, feeling him carefully hug me in return. “Apple juice fingers,” he murmured, and I chuckled, giving him squeeze._ _

__

__While the pie baked in the oven, Cayde and I settled down at the table to a couple well filled bowls of soup topped with shredded parmesan. A nice warm fire crackled away in the fireplace nearby and Ghost settled comfortably in fluffed up linens that were laid in a small basket on the table beside us, idly snoozing like a lazy and content cat. I had reset the music to start playing again, turning it down a bit so we could talk, remembering Cayde had wanted to discuss plans for the wedding._ _

__“So … June. And you’re still not going to tell me why, hmm?” He asked between sips of the soup._ _

__I smirked. “It’s a surprise.”_ _

__He chuckled. “Okay. Is there a specific date? We need a date.”_ _

__“Weekends tend to be best,” I said._ _

__Cayde got up and grabbed his tablet and brought it over typing in a few things. “Says the first is a Saturday.”_ _

__I smirked. I knew he was picking the first because he really was excited about the wedding. But, I also knew he’d been disappointed I’d asked that the wedding be so far out. When he saw why, though, I knew he would understand and everything would change. I was really excited for that, so I’d give him the date. The poppies should be out by then. “The first sounds perfect.”_ _

__“Okay, wonderful. We have a date!” He frowned. “Are we supposed to have someone helping with all this?”_ _

__“Maybe?” I shrugged. “We can ask Ikora tomorrow. But at least we’ll have some ideas for then.”_ _

__“Yeah, yeah, okay,” he nodded._ _

__I smiled and watched him type some stuff in the data pad._ _

__When he finished and looked up at me, he blinked, noticing I was watching him. “What?”_ _

__“Did you used to think about this stuff much?” I asked._ _

__“Y’mean about gettin’ married?”_ _

__I nodded._ _

__He frowned and looked off to the side for a few moments before looking at me again, setting the data pad aside. “I used to wonder if I really was once. If Ace ever really was real, too. Yeah, the one I wrote to … that one was in my head. But I mean … I'd wonder if there ever really was an Ace at some point. Y’know, when I was human. But … I don’t know if I would’ve been a good husband, lookin’ at the stuff I wrote about. I bet if I ever was, though … I don’t think it woulda lasted. Even if I was a dad … I don’t think any kinda marriage woulda lasted. Not as the man I was. But … whatever happened between then and now … Yeah, I may have my moments now … But I grew up a lot since wakin’ up a Guardian. I figured a lotta stuff out. Got my shit together. I know what’s important.” He chuckled a little and shook his head. “It took becomin’ a robot to learn what it was to be a man.”_ _

__I reached across the table and set my hand on top of his, caressing it softly. He turned his hand over and curled it into mine as he smiled at me._ _

__“And you’re a damn good one I’m proud to call mine,” I whispered._ _

__He lifted my hand to his lips and kissed the back of it. “Now, I believe one of the big things we were gonna talk about were bands?” He said clearly wanting to change the subject, not wanting to get too emotional over things._ _

__I smiled and nodded. “Did you have any ideas?”_ _

__“I did, actually,” he nodded, then ate a bit more of his soup before continuing. “First thing that came to mind was what to make them out of.” He shook his head. “Can’t be gold. Gold is soft. And with you punching things and me … well, being me,” he chuckled and I smirked, “I was thinking titanium. It’s very strong and, when worked with properly, can be very pretty.”_ _

__“Oooh. Oh, that sounds perfect,” I nodded. “Plus, I’m not a huge fan of gold, anyway.”_ _

__He smiled. “Well, that works out, then. Also, um … I had another idea.”_ _

__“What’s that?”_ _

__“Um …” He held up a finger and got up, disappearing to the corner of the apartment where he had a table set up for drawing his maps and writing in his journals. It was a spot I had made sure he had when we moved in since the other apartment had been too small for that.__

____

____

__When he came back, he handed me a little rolled piece of paper. “I drew this up a while back, not sure when we were gonna get to talk about it.”_ _

__“Oh, Cayde. I’m so sorry, sweetheart. Honestly, I didn’t know you were in the mood to before.”_ _

__“Oh, cause-a Sundance and all?”_ _

__I nodded._ _

__He smiled a little. “Yeah, I suppose my mood was a little off, despite proposing and all. But I’m okay and mentioning the bands today … it really did get me all excited about it. I am lookin’ forward to marryin’ ya, beautiful. Even if it already feels like we are. It’s just … I don’t know. I want that day. I want that moment with ya.”_ _

__“I want that, too,” I nodded, looking into his eyes, saying more than words ever could._ _

__He smiled again and gave the hand I had holding the paper a gentle nudge. “Take a look,” he murmured._ _

__I smiled back and uncurled the paper to see a drawing he’d made of two wedding bands, a his and hers, each with an etched design of a heart and spade intertwined. I couldn’t help my eyes tearing up a little as I gently held my bottom lip between my teeth and looked at him warmly. “Oh Cayde … they’re beautiful.”_ _

__“You like ‘em?” He asked. “I, um … I figured, y’know … Queen of Hearts and - ”_ _

__“King of Spades,” I finished for him._ _

__He nodded._ _

__I got up from the table and went around it, giving him a hug. “They’re perfect,” I murmured. “Absolutely perfect.”_ _

__“Yeah?” He asked, hugging me back actually sounding a bit surprised but, I could sense, deeply touched._ _

__I nodded and eased back a little. “We could take the drawing in to a jeweler tomorrow. See about having them made.”_ _

__On the outside, he looked calm and collected. Total poker face. But, inside, well, our bond wouldn’t let him hide the rush of excitement and, I was sure, I couldn’t hide mine from him, either. He nodded. “I’d love to, beautiful.” He gave me a kiss._ _

__“There’s, um … there’s one other thing,” I said, crouching down beside him. “Since we’re talking about the rings.”_ _

__He frowned. “What’s that?”_ _

__“Something I wanted to mention to you now, and not spring on you when we’re in public,” I said._ _

__He nodded. “Okay,” he said, sounding a bit hesitant._ _

__“It’s something I’d like to have engraved on the inside of your band.”_ _

__“What’s that?” He asked._ _

__I took his hand in mine and held it, looking into his eyes. “This is my Promise. Unconditional,” I told him._ _

__I watched as his eyes slowly grew bigger, his lips parting with realization of the importance and deep meaning of what I’d just said. ‘Unconditional’ really was just that with me. It didn’t matter to me who he had been or what he had done. Ever. Not in any life. Be it as a human or an Exo. I knew all his secrets. The ones that he could share with me and the ones that he couldn’t. And the ones he couldn’t, I understood why and accepted his reasons. I trusted him. I also knew his journals inside and out. I knew the man behind them. I knew the things he’d done, the things he’d thought he’d done. I heard the sadness and anguish in the words, even the anger at himself and Clovis-Bray. I could hear the fear in his voice from the nightmares and wondering if he was truly crazy or not, and the loneliness that sometimes got to him in the midst of it all._ _

__He didn’t hide any of it from me. He showed me who he was. Even though it scared him to do it. He took a chance and he showed me because something about me told him he could trust me. And I loved him. With all his faults I saw a good and wonderful man who made me laugh and really did have a loving heart and honorable soul. So, yes. Unconditionally, I loved him and always would._ _

__“Ais …”_ _

__I gave his hand a squeeze, glad I’d told him here. I knew it would have been too much to spring it on him in public._ _

__He pulled me back up and into his lap, hugging me tight, shaking a little as he pressed his face into my shoulder. “I don’t deserve you,” he muttered._ _

__I caressed the back of his head. “I think the same of you most of the time, too, you know?” I whispered. “How’d I get so lucky to have this absolutely amazing Hunter - Vanguard to boot - even notice me? He’s funny, hell of a fighter, witty, tells terrible jokes, but somehow they’re the best jokes,” I smiled when I felt his body jerk a little in a laugh. “He’s amazingly courageous, too. Not the least bit afraid of a fight. It’s really impressive. And I love it when he takes me for sparrow rides, too. Not to mention he’s a fantastic cook.”_ _

__Cayde softly chuckled again, then looked up at me, his eyes a bit bright. I gently wiped at the corners with my thumb before he pressed his forehead to mine. “I love you. So damn much,” he whispered._ _

__“I love you, Firefly,” I whispered back._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sappy. I know. Hope you enjoyed the idea for the rings. I kind of like Cayde being all excited about the wedding. It is canon he likes romance and reads all those romance novels so I'm kind of going with that being his thing. LOL! Ais likes it, too, but I just see Cayde being a bit more gushy about it in some ways. Trying not to show it but then being kind of all giddy about it without realizing! LOL! More to come soon! :)


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter was supposed to be the going out chapter but then they got home and started talking and something happened and it never got into the next day where they went out. So that's coming in the next chapter. This one just did its own thing where Cayde had a moment and needed help. So, I know you guys like these moments where they just talk and you get a little bit more insight into some moments from Cayde's past, even if they are hard on him, so enjoy. More soon! :)

By the time we’d finished dinner, the pie was done baking and Cayde took it out of the oven while I took care of the dishes and cleaned up, then we went back to the table to continue to talk about wedding ideas while we waited for the pie to cool.

“I can’t remember, did we discuss the wedding itself, beyond what you’d wanted to do for the ceremony?” I asked Cayde. 

“After the ceremony we were gonna go back to the Tower for a big party after with everyone, right?” Cayde asked.

“Oh, okay, we did discuss it, then,” I nodded. Cayde gave a nod, too, and typed a few things on the data pad. I smirked. “Making all kinds of notes, hm?” I asked as I got up and went around, taking a seat beside him so I could see what he had so far. He smiled and slid the data pad over a bit so it was between us as he pressed his shoulder to mine. 

I smiled back and looked at what he had typed as I rested my head on his shoulder. 

“Well, not _all_ kinds-a notes, but I got the basic day laid out. It’s the little details, I ain’t got a clue on,” he admitted then sighed. “And … I feel kinda … I don’t know … weird … puttin’ us in the spotlight, y’know? I mean, not that I ain’t usta bein’ the center of attention, but … this is different. It’s a different kind of attention and … I ain’t usta this kind and … well … it’s a day that’s … that’s …”

“A day that’s going to require you to put a bit more of your personal side out to the public and you’re not quite sure how to do that and you don’t want to screw things up and over do the goofy and posturing side and be a jerk at your own wedding and get into trouble?” I gently offered.

Cayde looked over at me, blinking in surprise, his lips parting ever so slightly before he shook his head and chuckled a little. “How do you do that?”

My smile broadened a bit and I shrugged. “I just know you. Just like I know everything’s going to be fine. I promise,” I said, giving his arm a hug. 

His features grew wonderfully sentimental and something warm settled right at the center of his chest. He didn’t say anything, he just … looked at me for a few moments, then leaned forward and rested his forehead against mine, closing his eyes, letting out a careful breath before swallowing. 

I knew he wanted to ask me why I loved him the way I did. Why I loved him at all. What was it about him that made me care about him, hold him in such high regard, and think the world of him. The answer to all those questions was, I just did. 

Because. 

He was my Firefly. 

There really was no single answer. It was a feeling. A knowing. And I think he knew that, despite always desiring an answer. But the always desiring an answer came from him always feeling like he was never good enough because of all the flaws he knew he had and the ones he couldn’t remember but had written about, both as himself now, and his past selves, as well as the ones he’d dreamed. 

And, yet, somehow, they all made him perfect in their imperfect ways.

And I loved him for all of them.

And I was pretty sure he knew that, too.

“Are you okay?” I whispered after a few moments, laying my hand on top of his, softly caressing it. He felt a little strange.

“I don’t know,” he quietly admitted, keeping his eyes closed, his forehead pressed to mine. “I’m excited about the wedding. Excited to plan all this out with you. Never thought I’d ever be doin’ something like this. But … I’m kinda scared. Like ya said … I don’t wanna be a jerk and screw somethin’ up.”

“You won’t,” I murmured, hugging his arm.

“You know me _so_ well you’re sure of that, hm? He asked.

“Mmm hmm,” I nodded, smiling.

He eased his head back and looked at me, smiling softly then gave me a kiss. 

 

We sat together for a while longer, planning a few more things, then eventually decided stop for the night, since it was getting late, and cut into the pie, taking it into the living room and settled back on the couch to enjoy the fire while we ate.

Cayde was sitting beside me, his left leg up on the couch and curled under him, his right bent out in front of him, his foot resting on the coffee table. He was quiet and I noticed his gaze wasn’t on the fire but above it, at the mantle, looking at Sundance’s urn. “You alright?” I carefully asked, sensing a little twinge of sadness.

He blinked, as if being pulled out of somewhere, then looked over at me. “Hmm?”

“Are you alright?” I asked again.

“Oh. Um … If I said yeah, you wouldn’t believe me, would ya?” He asked.

I shook my head. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to, though.”

He looked over at Sundance’s urn, then back at me. His lips parting like he wanted to say something, but nothing came out. Then his shoulders slumped and he sighed and leaned back against the couch cushions, staring up at the ceiling. 

“I’m sorry,” I said, reaching over, setting my hand on his knee.

He shook is head, still staring up at the ceiling. “Nothing to be sorry about,” he murmured, then went quiet for a few more moments before he finally spoke again. “I was - I was thinking … that I wished … she could be there,” he quietly said.

I looked over at him just in time to see a single tear slip out of the corner of his eye and slide down over the teal metal of his cheek toward the back of his jaw before he sighed. “If there wasn’t somethin’ after … I don’t think we’d be here now,” he murmured. “There wouldn’t’ve been anything to bring us back from. So … she went somewhere. She ain’t gone. I know that,” he said, nodding, then sniffled a little. “I believe in that,” he added, nodding again. “I just wish I knew she was okay. Y-Y’know?” He said, then turned his head and looked at me. “I wish I - I wish could tell her I was sorry,” he said so quietly I almost didn’t hear him. “That I’m so damn sorry.” He closed his eyes, bowing his head and I took his plate and set both his and mine on the coffee table then pulled him into my arms and held him. 

He shook his head, resting it on my shoulder. “Didn’t meanta get like this. It just suddenly … hurt.”

“Shhhhh. It’s alright,” I murmured, softly caressing the back of his head and neck.

“I wish this would get easier,” he quietly said.

I kissed his forehead, just beside his horn. “If I could take it away, I would, sweetheart,” I whispered. “In a heartbeat. But it will get easier in time. I promise.”

He slipped his arms around me and gave me a squeeze, nodding. “I know you would,” he murmured back. “Just … sometimes … everything feels fine and then … one little thing, like this, hits me square in the chest and it’s like it happened yesterday.” He took a slow, deep breath, then carefully let it out. “I went though this when Andal died. Only thing with that was … well, you weren’t here and … I didn’t deal with that so good.”

I twisted around a little and fixed a couple pillows then laid back, pulling him with me so he was nestled in beside me and the back of the couch, head resting on my shoulder. “What happened?” I murmured, wondering if he’d be willing to talk this time. 

He was quiet for a moment and I noticed he’d picked up the string to my hood that was laying over my chest and was idly fidgeting with it. “I spent a lot of time drunk,” he uttered. “I mean … really drunk. On the Exo stuff. To the point I’d get sick. Scared the hell outta Sundance. Apparently, when I get really drunk, I stop being fun and just get mean. Either that, or it was just that I didn’t give a shit at that point. I knew … I knew there was a point of honor. For Andal I needed to take up his cloak and stand in his place. I just hurt so damn much I wanted to make it stop and the only thing that made it stop was drinking. I mean, I can handle being drunk sick, but grief sick?” He shook his head.

“What finally pulled you out of it?” I asked, lightly stroking his side. 

He lifted his head, trying to look up at me and frowned, realizing he was going to knock me in the jaw. “Sorry. Love my horn but, sometimes I wish I could take it off when it gets in the way,” he said, sounding a bit more light-hearted in the moment.

I smiled, shifting a little, tilting my head further to the side for him so he had room.

He rolled a bit more onto his back so he could still look at me, but so his horn wouldn’t get me. “Um … what was the question?”

I smiled again. “What finally pulled you out of being so drunk?” I asked, reaching over us, rubbing his chest.

He sighed and laid his hand on top of mine. “I was stayin’ in my ship, not far outside the City. He shook his head. “Had a campsite I’d made up. Or … well, lookin’ back on it, it was a fire pit surrounded by empty bottles and cans and a heap of rags and whatever else it was - I don’t even remember now - I occasionally passed out on. It’s a good thing I’m an Exo and not a human or Awoken cause I can only imagine how much worse that place woulda been if I required food and a shower cause I know I’d’ve had food scraps scattered, not caring about animals coming and going, and I likely would’ve smelled terrible.” I smiled a little. “Anyway, Ikora came lookin’ for me one day. And, you know her now as the more calm, cool, level-headed, soft-talkin’ and reserved Ikora. The more wise-sounding Ikora that’s more … caring. Well … the Ikora I knew back then … Okay, so, I’m sittin’ under the wing of my ship, in the shade, it’s like, high-noon. Not that the sun would bother me, really, but the shade was more comfortable. So I’m sittin’ there, leaning back, gettin’ drunk, not bothering anyone. Just me and my empty bottles and cans and my burned out fire pit. And here comes Ikora, up over the hill on her sparrow. She stops and gets off and looks around then looks at me. Neither of us say a word to each other. I just sit there and finish off what’s left in the bottle I had then toss it off wherever, hearin’ it break against a rock or somethin’. She takes one more look around, then comes over to me and, uninvited, sits down beside me and says: ‘This place is a shithole.’.”

I couldn’t help it, I snorted a laugh.

Cayde nodded. “Yup, you can laugh. Lookin’ back on it, she was right. Total shithole. Trust me, that was the good side of the ship. You didn’t wanna see the other side where I threw up.”

I winced. “Oh, Cayde.”

“Yeah, it was bad,” he nodded. “Anyway, she told it to me straight because she knew I needed to hear it that way. She said that she was sorry Andal was d - Andal was - ” he frowned, still unable to say it and sighed. “Gone,” he finally said instead. "That she was going to miss him. And so was Zavala. She told me … a lot of good things about him. Things from hers and Zavala’s point of view so I’d know that I wasn’t the only one who felt the pain of his loss. That they were hurting, too, and, yeah, they understood that they weren’t as close to him as I was. That they understood he was like a brother to me but that they still shared in the loss. And then, after getting me to understand that, she got tough and she told me I needed to stop feeling sorry for myself because it wasn’t gonna bring him back and it wasn’t gonna bring honor to his name. If I wanted to make him proud, I needed to do what I promised I would and put on his cloak and stand in his place.” He sighed. “And I’ll tell you what, I didn’t wanna hear it. I got so pissed. I can’t remember everything that happened or what I said - although I know it wasn’t nice - but I remember gettin’ to my feet and yelling at her and throwing bottles and punching the side of my ship. And she just sat there and let me.”

“She knew you needed to get it all out,” I murmured, lightly caressing the side of his face with the backs of my fingers. 

He nodded. “Yeah. But I took it too far and had an all out tantrum rather than just a healthy dose of letting out anger and grief, so she got up and looked at me and said: ‘When you’re done being a child, you know where to find us.’. And she left, leaving me standing there wanting to start yelling and punching things again, but realizing, if I did, I’d just be actin’ more like the child she just called me.”

“Oof. That must have stung,” I said.

He nodded. “Yup. But it knocked sense into me. It finally made me realize I was wallowing instead of honoring his memory and he’d be disappointed in me. And knowing he’d be disappointed in me hurt. It was okay to be sad. It was okay to be angry. But I’d gone beyond that to the point of self destruction even Sundance wasn’t able to snap me out of. But Ikora managed to make me realize what Andal would be thinking of me. He wouldn’t want me to be like that. So it pulled me out of it and got me to sober up. I cleaned up and went back to the Tower and … when I got there, his cloak was waiting for me.”

I frowned. “It was waiting for you? You never saw his - ”

Cayde immediately stiffened and I felt a sudden rush of anxiety, fear, and pain grip him.

I winced. “Okay, I’m sorry. I won’t touch that one,” I said, rubbing his chest again. Whatever had happened with Taniks when Andal had died … it had been really bad.

He relaxed some and took a shaky breath. “I-I can’t,” he shook his head. “I can’t.”

I nodded. “It’s okay, You’d have to. You don’t ever have to,” I assured him, placing soft little kisses over his forehead and horn, trying to soothe him.

“I’m glad you’re here,” he whispered. “I have … I have so many good memories of them … of Andal and Sundance. I’ll always focus more on those than losing them. It’s just right now … um …”

I nodded. “I know. Something just triggered and you’re feeling a bit sad,” I said, keeping my voice soft as I tenderly stroked his cheek. “All these good things happening and you wish they were here for them.” 

He nodded. “Yeah,” he uttered.

I nodded, too. “They are,” I told him. “I don’t know how I know, I just … I just believe that they know you’re happy and, wherever they are, they’re smiling.”

His eyes, unusually dim, brightened a bit, and he smiled a little. “Y’know … I may not have the memories … but I know I’ve been around since the Golden Age. So … long time.” He looked down at his chest, at his hand laying over mine and slipped his under mine, lifting it, lacing our fingers together. “I don’t think I was ever a man of faith. Of any sort of religion that ever was or is now. But, like I said, I do believe that there is something after. That we’re proof of that. So I think they’re somewhere and … I hope it’s good. I hope they’re happy,” he nodded, studying my hand and the way our fingers interlaced. He turned his head and looked at me. “Funny, though … when I think about all that time … whether I was alone or with friends … living in the Wilds or here in the City and the Tower … just … all the things I can remember … I remember being. I remember … surviving. I remember coping. It was just … I had Sundance and Andal and my crew and friends - well, they come and go over time, but you y’know what I mean. And I had Zavala and Ikora over the years … Shiro … Shaxx, Amanda, Petra … a few others … What I’m trynna say is …. When I think about it … I had things and people but … I managed and was pretty … solo and independent and, well, y’know … A Hunter. You know what we’re like.”

I smiled and nodded. He was rambling, which meant he was nervous about something. “What are you trying to say?” I gently coaxed.

“That … I really didn’t realize … despite how independent I am, how strong I’d become over the years - and I ain’t trynna show off or be a jerk here but I know I can be formidable when I hafta be and can hold my own and all - but …”. He sat up a little, looking at me. “Deep down … I ain’t all that strong with some things. Like this. Like now. And … before … That would scare the hell outta me. But …” He shook his head. “Not now. Cause you’re here. And I really am glad you’re here, Ais. Yeah, it’s hard. Like I told ya before, this ain’t easy, bein’ vulnerable like this. But I’m so glad you’re here,” he nodded. “Cause I feel so shaky right now. And maybe it’s cause-a why you said. Cause things are good and I’m happy but sad cause they’re not here to share it. And I miss them.” He shrugged and I saw tears in his eyes again. He threw his hands up and gestured to his eyes like he had no idea where this was coming from or why.

I gave his shirt sleeve a little tug and got him to lay back down and I put my arms back around him. “I think that’s exactly what it is. You’re excited and want to share that with them and wish they were here for the wedding so it’s making you sad you can’t. And that’s leading to you thinking about what happened to them and that’s … making it harder.”

“Am I being an idiot?” He asked.

I shook my head. “No.”

He lifted his head. “So I’m not being an asshole on ya? I feel terrible feelin’ … terrible when I should be … happy.”

“I know you’re happy and I know you’re exited. And I know, come tomorrow, you’ll feel better. I’m not angry you’re upset. It’s okay to be. I know why you feel the way you feel. And I’ll hold onto you as tight as you need me to until it passes.”

He smiled a little, then tucked his head under my chin as carefully as he could, resting his head on my chest, and sighed, finally relaxing while I rubbed his back.

“Damn it,” he uttered after a little while.

“What is it?” I asked, concerned. “You okay?”

He sighed. “No.”

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m warm. I’m comfortable. I’m feeling better … And I kinda want my pie now, but I don’t wanna move.”

I pressed my lips together, closing my eyes, trying not to laugh. That was so Cayde. Like flipping a switch. He’d been sad and upset and he’d had enough of being sad and upset. Now he saw something to make it go away and change the tone and he was taking it, so he’d grabbed onto it.

When I hadn’t replied, I noticed he’d tilted his head to glance up at me, a bit sheepishly. I looked down at him, arching an eyebrow. His expression only became more sheepish. 

Oh, he was laying it on thick. 

With a bit of a smirk, I gave him a wink then wrapped my arms around him and flipped us over in one quick move, startling him.

“Whoa!” He yelped, suddenly finding himself under me. “Wha-?”

I chuckled, rearranging us so he was comfortably laying back in the pillows and I was settled between his legs, then gave him a kiss. “Ais, w-” I set my finger over his lips to gently shush him before he could ask any questions and reached over and grabbed his plate off the table. After setting the plate on his chest, I scooped a small bite of pie onto the fork, holding it up to his lips. “Open,” I instructed.

He smirked and opened his mouth and I carefully set the bite inside, watching it disappear with a quick curl of his tongue, pulling it down under the membrane. “I wasn’t expectin’ this, but I like where it’s goin’,” he admitted. 

I smiled and ate a piece, myself. “This really came out good, you know,” I told him, then gave him another bite. 

“You like my pie, hm?” He asked.

“I _love_ your pie,” I nodded.

“Are we still talking about my pie?” He asked.

I snorted, almost choking on the piece I was eating.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The problem with Cayde is, he really does flip like a switch sometimes. I can see it in the gameplay where he has moments of calm and then suddenly excited so I imagine he can go from sad to seeing a distraction to pull himself out of it and grabbing onto it. He strikes me as the kind of guy with a past that hits him hard and it hurts like hell so if he sees something that will distract him from it and pull him out of it, he'll take it and Ais recognizes that. So I hope that came across at the end there. More to come soon! :)


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Um, well, I hate to give anything away here, but I should warn you, this chapter is NSFW. 
> 
> Okay, that said ... *Hands out fans* Enjoy.

The next morning I was in the kitchen cutting up some mango to add to the oatmeal I had cooking for breakfast while listening to the news on the television coming in from the City. A few quadrants were still under construction, some coming along fine, but a couple sites were having difficulty getting supply shipments in thanks to Fallen and Cabal in certain sectors attacking and raiding the caravans, despite Guardian deterrence. Some civilians and workers were complaining that the lack of initiative being taken by the Vanguard and the need for Guardians to step up and be tougher and take more drastic steps was the problem. And, to top it all off, representatives of Hideo were being interviewed in the segment, supporting the civilians and workers in their criticisms of the Vanguard and Guardians. They even went so far as to say Executor Hideo was vowing to use whatever means New Monarchy had at their disposal to see to the finishing of the construction and completion of the City Refurbishing Projects and, if necessary, would send their own agents out to guard the caravans bringing in supplies. 

I stopped cutting up a mango and stared at the screen, shaking my head. “Mother fucker,” I uttered.

“Uuuh … Good morning to you, too?” Cayde said, sounding a bit surprised by my choice of words as he came downstairs, dressed in his usual gray hooded sweater and deep brown pants, Ghost in tow. I looked over at them as they made their way over to me. I pointed to the T.V.. Cayde frowned and looked at it, listening to the rest of the interview as he stepped up behind me, stealing a slice of mango and eating it. His frown deepened the more he listened, Ghost hovering over his shoulder.

I shook my head again. “It’s been a little over a year and, despite the massive amount of destruction and losses, given with what we’ve had to work with and had to come back from - all while continuing to fend off agents of the Darkness and other threats - I thought we were doing pretty damn good. It wasn’t until the last couple months, with the cold weather setting in, these supply caravan routs got really dangerous and _now_ New Monarchy steps in and makes it sound like this has been an ongoing thing for the whole past year and like you guys and the other Guardians haven’t been doing hardly anything to help, all while that finely robed asshole sits up here in the safety of his ivory tower and pretends to be a man of the people,” I seethed, jabbing the knife toward the T.V..

Cayde reached out and gently took the knife from me before I accidentally stabbed myself or him with it. “Easy, beautiful. I know. We all want to stab him but we gotta play nice. He plays nasty, hoping to get us to do the same and use it against us.” He set the knife down on the counter and gave the oatmeal I was cooking a stir as he pondered for a moment. “They said they were gonna send in their own agents to guard the caravan routes, right?”

I nodded. “I guess. If the Vanguard and Guardians don’t do more.”

“It would be real unfortunate if, purely for safety reasons - since they’re makin’ such a big stink about the caravan routes being so dangerous - the Vanguard secretly changed them but didn’t tell anyone outside those who are on a need to know basis.” He glanced over at me and smirked.

I leaned back against the counter and crossed my arms over my chest, smirking back. “Leave Hideo’s agents out there with no one to guard? But won’t that put them in danger?”

“Well, that’s the real kicker,” Cayde grinned. “I gotta go talk to Hawthorne this morning. Y’know, about that … thing. Maybe I could persuade her to take some of her best people through that area - along with us and a couple other Guardians - to save their sorry asses. Now she’s got one up on Hideo.” He winked.

I grinned, shaking my head. “Oh, I love you.”

He chuckled. “Course, I gotta clear all this with Zavala, but I don’t think that’ll be too hard. He doesn’t like Hiedo any better than the rest of us. I’ll take care of that after talkin’ with Hawthorne.”

“Anything I can do to help?”

“Talkin’ with Hawthorne?” He asked, eyebrows rising. “Babe, somehow, I don’t think that’d be a good idea, considering the subject.”

I shook my head. “No, no, silly,” I said, lightly slapping his arm. Of course I wouldn’t be there for that. I knew that was something he needed to do alone. “I meant with Zavala and Ikora on getting the caravan route changed and all that.”

“Ooooh. Oh, no. Pfft. I can handle it,” he said, waving it off. “You,” he said, setting the spoon in a holder and shutting off the stove before turning, slipping his arms around me. “You were so … so understanding last night.” He shook his head. “I-I was … wow. Anyway, I know I don’t gotta say it, but I’m sorry I got … well, the way I got.” He held up his hand before I could protest. “I know. I know there’s no need to be. But I want to apologize anyway. It felt good to talk. It felt good to get it off my chest, but I’m sorry it put a damper on the mood. Actually, I had planned on more of a romantic night with you. Nothin’ over the top, but I wanted to dance with you some more. I liked it when you came up behind me there while I was cooking and swayed with me a bit,” he murmured, smiling.

I smiled back and gave him a kiss, putting my arms around him in return. “We can do that later, if you want,” I murmured, lightly rubbing his back.

“I’d like that,” he whispered, nodding. “But, this morning, just relax and enjoy some quiet and time to yourself. Okay? I’ll be fine. And, when I get back, we’ll take care-a the rings. Sound good?”

I gave him a warm hug, kissing his cheek, nodding. “Do you want anything to eat before you go?” I asked. “Besides that little bit of mango I totally saw you steal.”

He chuckled. “Naah. I’m good.” He gave me a sweet little nuzzle and pressed his forehead to mine as I pet his chest, then gave me one more kiss and headed for the door, touching Sundance’s urn as he walked past the mantle before leaving.

“He seems much better this morning,” Ghost observed once the door closed. 

I nodded, filling a bowl with some oatmeal and added some mango slices and honey to it. “Yeah, he is.”

“What happened?” Ghost asked, following me as I took my breakfast into the living room and sat down on the couch, turning down the T.V.. 

“He just … he was missing Andal and Sundance. Doing stuff with the wedding made him realize they weren’t going to be there for it. Struck a few nerves.”

“Ouch,” Ghost uttered. “He was doing so well, these last few weeks, too. He seemed to be back to his old self, for the most part.”

“Well, from what I’ve heard about other Guardians who have lost Ghosts, it’s a severed bond that never really heals. I know you’re a tremendous help and he feels that connection and bond with you as much as he did with Sundance but I think that feeling is always going to be there to some degree.” 

Ghost nodded. “It happens the other way, too. When Ghosts lose a Guardian. We wander, aimlessly, feeling like a part of us was ripped away.”

I reached up and soothingly caressed his shell, feeling him press into my palm, shuddering a little at the thought. “You’ll never lose us, Little Light,” I murmured. He looked at me, then floated down and settled on my shoulder, tucking in close. 

“I imagine all the damage from those mind wipes Clovis-Bray did throws him off, too,” Ghost then said.

I picked up my bowl and leaned back into the couch as I nodded. “Sometimes he has strong reactions to things. Overly emotional reactions he can’t explain. When they hit in public, he covers them with what others see as inappropriate reactions. Badly timed jokes, slapstick, a stupid move, even acting like a jerk, you name it. He’s learned to turn that into a form of armor, though. Some people think he’s foolish and not very bright because that’s what it appears like when he acts that way.”

“He’s actually quite cunning and smart,” Ghost pointed out. “I know I thought wrongly of him when we first met him, though.”

I nodded. “All part of his armor,” I fondly said. “He wasn’t needing it much lately but, after last night - actually, it probably started the night before, when he fell out of bed.”

“You think the nightmares are starting again?” Ghost asked.

I nodded. “I’m just not sure what triggered them, if anything.”

“Do you think whatever happened on Enceladus - that stuff that was injected into him to restart his brain and body - do you think it did something?” Ghost asked.

“For the most part, he seems like his normal self. I’m willing to bet, though, that stuff was a newer form of the original fluid used when his body was first activated after his consciousness was downloaded. Whatever it is and how it activates the robot brain and connects it and his consciousness and body, and makes all three work together … I think that’s why he feels things more - physically - like the cold, and maybe partly why his emotions are a bit out of whack, along with just all the other stuff he’s dealing with. In one of his journals, one of his other selves wrote about needing to see counselors on a regular basis within the Clovis-Bray facility. Early on. Ones that helped with adjusting to the new bodies. If the fluid was a newer version, designed to make Exos feel more human and help eliminate more of the DER issues they were having, that’s a good thing, but he may be going through that adjustment and we’re kind of fumbling without knowing everything that changed and how.”

“It’s strange, the stories that circulate about Exos,” Ghost said. “The most common story is that they were created for some long forgotten war. When I first heard about that, I assumed it was the big war at the time of the Collapse. When the Darkness arrived. But, the more I’ve learned, especially through Cayde, the more it seems they were created to be … human. Not so much the war machines I’d heard about. Sure, some are built bigger, bulkier, others slimmer, more lithe, but very few seem like war machines. Especially none of the shells of the ones we saw on Enceladus.”

I nodded. “I love Cayde and I know he can hold his own in a fight but he’s definitely not a war machine.”

“Maybe a cuddle machine,” Ghost light-heartedly offered. 

I snorted. “He is that,” I nodded. “But, seriously, yeah. Clovis-Bray … I get why Cayde is so angry and fearful of them. More so angry. They lied to him and others and messed with their heads and memories. And I know, those brief moments when he forgets where he is and who he is, who I am … even if it’s just a second … it scares the hell out of him. And then he gets _really_ angry deep down. He tries not to show it. But I can sense it.”

“Do you think he’s fighting it? The changes?” Ghost asked.

I shook my head. “No. He’s not fighting them. He likes that he can feel more, even if he doesn’t like being cold.”

“Strange the cold bothers him so much,” Ghost said.

“It’s what it makes him feel deep down. There was something he wrote about a long time ago. About when he was human, just before becoming an Exo. About giving his body to the ice. I think the cold gets to him because it triggers something from when he went through the process.”

“Have you talked with him about it?” Ghost asked. 

I shook my head. “I’ve wanted to but I’ve been hesitant because I’m afraid of …” I sighed, frowning.

“Putting him through more trauma?” Ghost asked.

I nodded. “He has his limits.”

Ghost bobbed. “On a lighter note, what are you going to get him for Dawning?”

“Hmm?”

“Did - did you forget about the Dawning Festival coming up?” Ghost asked me.

I had to admit, I had. Last year, with the Red War, we hadn’t even had a festival. And the year before that, Cayde and I hadn’t been that close. So this would be the first year we’d celebrate together. I had to get him something nice. Something special. But what?

 

A couple hours later, Cayde returned and flopped face down on the couch with a grunt. “‘Kay,” he mumbled onto one of the pillows. “So, Zavala was already cranky this morning making for one very short Titan to try and talk to. Apparently he saw the news, too, so the plan’s a go, but we gotta play it real careful and cool. There’s another caravan that’s supposed to be comin’ through this week. So, if we’re gonna call Hideo’s hand, that’s our chance.”

I went over to him, Ghost following, and sat down on the edge of the couch next to him and wordlessly started rubbing his back and massaging his shoulders. He sighed, groaning pleasantly before folding his arms under the pillow and turning his head on it, glancing over his shoulder at me. I gave him a little smile. “So he’s going to see to it the route is secretly changed and we’re going to be leading in some other Guardians and Hawthorne’s people to help the caravan safely to the City?”

He nodded. “That’s the plan. Just gotta make sure no one outside of a small circle of us knows what’s happening.”

“Is Hawthorne going to help?” I asked.

“I didn’t ask her yet. It … seemed like a bad time.”

I winced. “Did it not go well?”

“Oh, it went … okay.” He shrugged. “As … okay as an … awkward conversation with someone who has a crush on you can go.”

“Is she alright?” I asked, working his shoulders.

“Yeah, yeah, she’s alright,” he sighed, relaxing some more. "We had a good long chat and cleared some things up. I told her I was really flattered and she was a hell of a Guardian in the making and I was proud to call her one of my Hunters. I could tell she was … disappointed, though. That I didn’t see her as anything more than that. Made me feel a little bad. But she knows I’m spoken for and engaged.” He rolled over and reached up, caressing my cheek. “That I already found the love of all my lives,” he softly added.

I smiled and laid my hand on top of his, turning my head, kissing his palm.

He smiled back and tugged me down against his chest putting his arms around me. I returned the hug, tucking my head in beside his. “Are you alright?” I murmured. 

He nodded. “I am now,” he whispered. 

“I’m still sorry I didn’t tell you sooner,” I said. I still felt bad about that.

He poked my side, making me jump a little and squirm away from his finger. “Stop it,” he said. “You didn’t do anything - and nothing on purpose. ‘Sides, everything’s fine.” 

I glanced up at him to see him looking down at me with a bit of a smirk before he winked at me. I smiled and he kissed my forehead and I sighed, kissing him back, following along the side of his jaw, until I got to his chin, where one of the larger bolts of his face stuck up. “You can really feel that, huh?” I softly asked, as I lightly circled it with my finger. 

“You touching my chin?” He asked.

“Touching this … bolt, I guess it is,” I said. 

“Bolt’s a good word,” he nodded. “It and the one on the other side not only give me a ruggedly handsome profile, but hold my said exquisitely crafted chin on,” he preened a little, making me chuckle. “But yes, I can feel you touching it. Why?”

I shook my head and shrugged, still smiling. “Still hard to comprehend, sometimes. That it’s metal but living. That you can feel me touch you.”

“I can feel everything you do to me,” He quietly said.

I lifted my head and looked at him for a moment, then reached up and very tenderly touched the tip of his horn with my finger and slowly trailed it down along the underside to the base before it came to rest on the white metal of his forehead. He looked up at first, a bit cross-eyed, watching my finger as best he could before I noticed his eyes move to my face and silently watch me as his body relaxed even further. I gave him a soft and loving smile and moved my finger down his forehead further, then to the side, over the edge, following along the line of his right eyebrow. When I got to the pointed end, I curled my finger a bit downward and followed the ridge of the high teal metal cheekbone just under his right eye. He blinked, only once, keeping his eyes on me as I traced the curve under his eye all the way in toward his nose, then moved my finger down toward his lips. As I got closer to them, I turned my hand, my fingers moving along the ridges of his open cheek and the underside of his jaw, and brushed the pad of my thumb over his slightly parted lips in a gentle caress. I felt the metal plates of his face shift a little in a warm smile as I tilted his head toward mine and tenderly kissed him.

His eyes drifted shut and he sighed, nuzzling me affectionately. I smiled against his mouth and eased back, looking at him for a moment before I carefully got off him and stood, offering him my hand. He took it and I gave him a playful little tug, getting him to his feet, then led him upstairs.

Cayde laughed as I pushed him back onto the bed, his body falling into the fluffy white comforter with a soft ‘foof’. I grinned, looking down at him laying there in nothing but his pants, having already tugged his sweater off on our way into the bedroom. He sat up on his elbows and watched as I peeled off my leggings, leaving on just my black lace underwear and a short black, loose knit, off the shoulder top. 

Black was sort of my color.

I crawled up onto the bed, my eyes intently on his, slowly inching my way toward him like a cat stalking a mouse. His eyes widened a bit as I got closer, crawling up over his body. I leaned down, kissing my way up along his bare stomach then slowly licked up the center of his chest with the tip of my tongue, making a soft purring sound before lifting my head, my lips finding his again. He sucked in what sounded like a little surprised gasp, then moaned as I deepened the kiss, his hands lightly gripping my upper arms as I eased him back down into the pillows. As I continued to kiss him, my hands explored his chest and up over his shoulders, then slid up along the sides of his neck until I was cradling his head in my hands. I curled my fingers around the back of his head and neck and carefully worked them along the hard metal and softer parts where his skin merged with it. He sighed, his eyelids fluttering closed, and I moved my fingers up a little further, massaging the metal of the sealed port where his consciousness had been transferred. He moaned again, his hands lazily sliding down to caress my forearms. It wasn’t a sexual thing with him, but he had told me once that it felt really nice when I did this. That it was strangely soothing but also sent a thrilling tingle through his whole body, not just where I was touching him. 

Taking advantage of his head being tilted back, I kissed along the side of his throat and just behind his left ear, lightly blowing on the little wet marks left by my lips. Cayde groaned and I lifted my head, seeing him looking at me, his eyes slightly glazed over - like the actual lights, themselves, had a strange hazy quality about them. “You alright?” I softly asked, still lightly caressing the port.

He gave a little nod.

“Just feels really good?” I asked.

He gave another little nod. 

I smiled and kissed his lips, then took over caressing the back of his head with just my left hand as I moved my right back down over his chest and stomach, letting my fingers slowly trail over his pecks and follow the form of his muscles, feeling them flutter a bit at my touch. I didn’t even have to look down to know when my fingers were tracing along the very fine and faint teal lines of beautifully - almost artistically - designed metal mesh woven into his deep gray skin that lay along his ribs and over his stomach, defining the lovely male physique of his torso. 

We had been close - best friends, even - for over a year now, but intimately close for only a few months. And, in that time, I had learned his body; taken my time to explore every inch of him. Cayde had been amused and also wonderfully overwhelmed by the attention, watching me with equal curiosity each time I explored. More than anything, I think he loved the way I touched him because I didn’t just explore him with my eyes but I got to know him in a whole other way. I took my time and softly touched him, caressed his skin, and let him feel me as I felt him. I’d kiss him and nuzzle him, whisper sweet-nothings in his ears, and always made sure he was okay with anything I did, my touches and kisses always tender and delicate. There was an overwhelming sense of trust shared between us. It wasn’t just from our bond, either. It was something that had formed even before that. 

Another breathless moan escaped his lips, and I felt his hand slide up under my top and over my side to my back, moving along my bare skin, his fingertips following along the curve of my spine. My eyes focused on his again and I smiled before pressing our foreheads together. He sighed, eyes closing, and he pushed his head up a little so the ridges of his nose would nuzzle against the tip of mine. I grinned at his subtle playfulness, and kissed him, my right hand sliding down even further, easing between his legs to carefully stroke the forming bulge through his pants, the palm of my hand already warm, and growing even warmer with the slight friction of the fabric. 

He groaned into my mouth and shifted his hips, moving his legs apart as I found a slow, gentle rhythm that matched his shallow panting breaths that puffed against my face. I could feel the plates of his face growing warmer, his breaths quickening and shuddering with desire, the hand he had at my back tensing a little as his excitement slowly built. 

After a little while, I gradually slowed my fingers at the port and delicately kissed each of his eyebrows and down over his cheeks, my lips softly ghosting over the warm metal as I eased my hand away from the back of his head and moved the other away from between his legs. He opened his eyes, half-lidded, so he could see what I was doing, his lips parting ever so slightly as he tried to calm some of his excitement with a couple deep breaths. I grinned and shimmied down, stroking his sides as I kissed my way down his torso to the top of his pants. I glanced up at him to see him watching me with rapt anticipation as I caressed his thighs then gently held his hips in my hands before taking hold of the top button of his pants with my teeth, making a playful growling sound. I wiggled and gently yanked at it, eventually popping it open, nuzzling at the newly exposed skin of his abdomen. When I looked up again, I saw Cayde staring at me, the tip of his tongue actually touching his upper lip, the optics of his eyes now brighter and slightly more dilated. 

Well!

“Like that, do you?” I purred as I started to carefully ease his pants off. He nodded as he lifted his hips for me and, once he was free of the pants, I slowly slid my hands back up his thighs and leaned down, kissing one hip, then the other, as I crawled my way back up his body. He followed me with his eyes until I was hovering right over him and stared at me wantonly for a few moments, then reached up and brushed my hair away from my face, cupping my cheeks as he coaxed me down for a kiss.

I moaned and sighed into his mouth as I slid my hand back down, my fingers and palm laying over his throbbing heat, feeling just how excited I’d got him. I grinned. Oh, how I loved knowing I could make him feel like this! He gasped at my touch and pushed his hips up into my hand, almost mewling, whimpering delightfully, then opened his eyes, looking up at me as I looked down at him, my hand gently closing around him. He instinctively started rocking his hips into my touch and I found a nice, slow, steady rhythm with him. Letting out a little cry of pleasure, he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close, pressing his face into the crux of my neck and shoulder and breathed me in, moaning before arching again. “Ais …”

I caressed his cheek with my own, holding him close until I heard a low growl from him, and quickly found myself laying on my back, Cayde over me, kissing me, carefully working his way down the side of my neck as his hand slid back under my top, laying over the center of my chest. I curled my fingers and lightly raked my nails up his arm to his shoulder, then back down again, turning my head into his as his lips found mine once again, the hand on my chest sliding down then back up, warming me with he heat of his palm and forcing tingling goosebumps to rise all over my skin from his touch. 

It never ceased to amaze me how soft his lips could be, even though they were metal. He was so careful and could make them yield to mine in a way that made them almost feel like flesh. I looked up at him, lifting my hands to his cheeks, caressing them, before sliding them up over the top of his head along his mohawk, my fingers following the raised ridge as if combing through actual hair. He looked at me with warm, passion-filled eyes, and smiled at me, eliciting a warm smile from me in return, then kissed me again, both of us moaning as he laid against me, working his left arm under my shoulders while his right hand lovingly pet my side. “Let’s stay like this forever,” I whispered between kisses.

“Okay,” he whispered back, nudging me gently, getting me to tilt my head to the side so he could playfully but carefully nip at my ear, making me gasp and shudder. I felt his tongue trace the edge before pulling the lobe between his lips, not exactly sucking on it, but something similar he was able to do with his tongue. I whimpered and pushed up against him, moaning his name reverently. He lowly chuckled and kissed down my throat, then eased away and sat up just far enough to get me up, too, tugging my top off. 

I gave him a gentle nudge, getting him to sit back on his knees then straddled his lap. He put his arms around me and pulled me close, holding me against him as he hugged me and pressed his face to my chest, moaning and kissing my breasts. I sighed, arching back, my arms gently hugging his head as I shivered, feeling an excited flutter in my belly. “I love you,” he breathed, and I sat upright, seeing him look up at me. I tilted my head forward and nuzzled him adoringly. “I love you, Firefly,” I whispered back.

It was never just sex with us, it was always making love. Always more than just that final rush of pleasure at the end. We loved making that passion build within each other, feeling it everywhere. When every touch spoke volumes beyond any words; when every kiss was like a sweet little song we sung to each other. We were so completely entwined in those moments, it was sometimes hard to tell where one ended and the other began. 

I barely registered Cayde laying me back down and easing my underwear off until I felt him crawling back up over me, his blue eyes practically on fire. I grinned and fanned myself as I watched him, making him chuckle. When he settled between my legs, he kissed me again, his forehead resting against mine. I looked up at him and softly caressed his jaw as his eyes drifted to my shoulder. I felt his fingertip lightly touch my skin and follow the soft ripples of light that slowly moved below, tracing them back to my chest where his finger came to rest over my heart. I smiled as his eyes met mine again, then he kissed me with a sweet little needy whimper, his tongue brushing over my lips. I sighed, opening them, and he deepened the kiss, his hand sliding under my thigh as he lifted my leg up over his hip and rolled this pelvis forward, easing inside me, making me gasp and arch under him. “Cayde …!” 

Oooh, I loved when he did that! He felt so incredible! So perfect! I never wanted it to end! I wrapped my arms around him and held him close as he rocked against me, writhing under him in pleasure! I carefully raked my fingernails down over his back, making him hiss and growl.

Oh, that growl!

“Oh, don’t you dare stop,” I panted, feeling his hot breath at the side of my neck.

“Well, y’know we, uh - we Exos … we keep going,” Cayde playfully purred, nipping at my ear before growling some more.

I laughed and then, I swear, my eyes must have rolled right into the back of my head as he moved just right, making me cry out. Everything faded away and all there was was him. All I could feel was him, smell was him, need was him. Passion didn’t even begin to cover it and no fire I could wield ever felt so hot or intense! I didn’t know what had made this time together so exquisite and so deeply meaningful, but the moment I felt him take my hand and hold it between us as he laced our fingers together, holding my eyes in his, it was one of the most glorious moments I’d ever experienced with him. And when we both felt the excited, tingling rush of our mutual climax, his eyes never left mine, even when both of us teared up a little from the flood of emotion that followed. 

 

After my shower, I got dressed and finished up in the bathroom, fixing my hair in the mirror, when Cayde came in and affectionately bumped me with his hip. I grinned at him in the mirror just before he shifted behind me and wrapped his arms around me, kissing the back of my head. I sniffed the air, leaning back into him, hugging his arms to my chest. “You’re wearing your new cologne,” I murmured.

He nodded. “Mmm hmm. You like it?”

“Love it,” I sighed, rubbing his arms. It accentuated his natural scents so perfectly. I turned and snuggled up against his chest, the soft warmth of his sweater only adding to how cuddly he felt. I heard him softly chuckle. “Are we gonna make it outta here today?”

I smirked. “Oh yeah,” I nodded, my voice low, almost a whisper. “Just holding onto the moment, I suppose. That was …” I shook my head. “Amazing. You were amazing.” 

I felt a surge of pride within him and I smiled as he turned his head and lightly kissed the top of mine. “So were you,” he whispered back. 

I lifted my head and nuzzled him, kissing his lips. 

 

It took us a bit longer than expected to leave. We just couldn’t stop taking a few moments to snuggle each other. I don’t know what had come over us. Not that anything had to have come over us or we weren’t normally affectionate with each other. We were just more so today than normal. Maybe it was because of last night. Maybe it was excitement about the wedding. Who knew? I just knew I loved it and I could tell Cayde did, too. 

“Ooh! Hey,” he said as we finally headed out, Ghost floating along with us. “Speaking of romance, while we’re out, can we check out some books? I wanna see if I can find some new ones to read.”

“Uh oh. Did you finish your last dashing Hunter rescuing a meek and wanton Warlock?” I smirked.

“Hey, it wasn’t a Hunter and a ‘wanton Warlock’,” he said. “It was a space pirate and an alien princess.”

I chuckled. “My mistake.”

“Go ahead. Laugh. But it was a good story,” he said, putting his arm around me as we walked. “He actually had this really cool spaceship that looked like a pirate ship. And he had an eyepatch!”

“Ooooh. Did he have a wooden leg, too?” I joked.

He arched an eyebrow at me. “Nooo. But, on occasion, he had something else that was wooden.”

I snorted. “Traveler, you’re terrible!” I laughed.

“You set that one up!” He chuckled. 

I nodded. “I did. So, that one was, um … more like erotica than romance, hm? I didn’t know you read that.”

“Before you, I may have kept to myself but I was never a monk, Ais!” He chuckled.

“Oh, don’t I know it,” I chuckled. I then wondered something and stopped walking, making him stop, too. “Okay, before we keep going and get around people, I need to ask you something.”

He looked at me, curiously. “What’s that?”

I pressed a little closer to him. “When you read these books … do you …?” I arched an eyebrow at him, giving him a rather sultry look, smirking a bit before licking my lips.

His eyes narrowed a bit in a sly and slightly heated way as he leaned his face in as close to mine as he could. “Do I what?” He whispered, then practically grinned. Well, Exo-grinned.

I sucked in a shuddering breath and held my bottom lip between my teeth for a moment. “Ooh, you do, don’t you?” I purred. 

That was … unbelievably hot!

He winked at me and I suddenly had an idea and gave his lips a kiss. “We are definitely stopping to get you some new books on the way home,” I nodded, then tugged him along, hearing him snicker behind me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I, uh ... I actually had to take a cold shower in the midst of writing this one. I reeeeeeeeally hated that he wasn't actually here. I so wanted to rip his clothes off and do such wonderful things to him! Hope you all enjoyed and are delightful puddles on the floor! More soon!


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is one of those chapters that didn't go as planned and wrote itself. Especially at the end. No idea where it came from or why. It wasn't in the plans. But this is just one of those moments where I let it do its thing and this is where it went. So I hope you enjoy it. This is an angsty chapter, though, not going to lie. Just fair warning.

It was hard to describe how it felt to be in the jewelry shop with Cayde picking out wedding bands. It seemed like it was just yesterday I’d walked into the Tower for the first time, going into the Hall Of Guardians, to see him standing at the conference table with Ikora and Zavala, not only a stranger to me, but a strange being as well. I hadn’t seen any Exos before him. When I arrived at the Tower, most other Guardians had their helmets on and, those who didn’t, were Awoken, like me, or human. And I hadn’t yet seen Banshee, who had been tucked away in the corner on the other side of where I came in. Cayde was the first. And, surprisingly, instead of being shocked, I was … almost enamored by him. The moment when he looked up to see who had come walking in and the light caught the shimmering blue metal of his face - such a lovely shade. The light of his eyes, oddly warm and inviting, despite the cool aqua color. And that horn. I smiled at the thought of it. It so fit his personality - confident, a bit flashy and cocky, and totally handsome. Of course, I didn’t know anything about him then, but I did think him handsome at first sight, even if I was surprised by his appearance, curious what he was.

And, now, here we were, five years later. I never would have imagined, one day, that handsome Exo would be my husband. Hell, I never imagined I’d have a husband, considering what I was and what I did, or even that I’d be with anyone, let alone form a bond that was so incredibly special and strong.

Wave after wave of various emotions passed over me as we picked out a lovely set of polished white titanium rings with step down, rounded edges, to give them a nice finished look. The bands themselves were also a little wider than normal, but we’d wanted that to accommodate the design Cayde had drawn of the entwined heart and spade. When the jeweler had scanned Cayde’s image and used a special design tool on the computer to show us what the rings would look like finished, both of us got a bit choked up. It was one thing to imagine them, but to actually see them, that was truly special. 

When the design of the rings was complete, I’d asked about engraving and the jeweler added the special vow I’d had just for Cayde to the inside of his ring. That was when I felt Cayde slip his arm around my waist and lean into me, before softly kissing my temple. “I have one for her ring, too,” he told the jeweler, surprising me. I looked at him and he looked at me, lifting his hand to my face, lightly stroking my cheek with the side of his finger as he smiled. “Your Light in the darkness. Your Firefly,” he whispered.

I felt the sting of tears and my vision blurred before I closed my eyes and pressed my forehead to his, giving his lips a tender kiss. 

“You like it?” He whispered, although I was sure he could sense how it made me feel.

I slipped my arms around him and hugged him tight, nodding. “I love it,” I whispered back. “So much.” He put his arms around me and held me close and I sighed, feeling the world fall away for a few moments, leaving only him and the warmth of his embrace and the steady swishing sound go his heart against my own.

The last thing to be done was sizing and, once the jeweler knew our sizes and we put down a deposit, we were told the rings would be ready in about two weeks. When we left the shop, we stood outside for a little while, arms around each other, and just took a few moments to let it all sink in.

“We … just bought wedding rings,” Cayde murmured, looking up toward the sky, then chuckled a little.

I looked at him and smiled, laying my head on his shoulder. “We did.”

He shook his head. “Doesn’t feel real. I feel like I’m … like I’m dreaming. But a good dream, for once.” 

I lifted my head and kissed his cheek and he looked at me and smiled. 

 

We decided to hold off on the wedding cake. We actually found that harder to figure out and a bit more stressful than the rings, and Cayde suggested we ask Ikora for her input there since she was more familiar with this stuff - having been involved in a couple weddings for others in the past - than we were. The only thing we really knew for sure was we wanted a chocolate cake. So, instead of doing that, I decided to take Cayde book shopping. 

I hadn’t ever been book shopping with him before. I knew he enjoyed romance novels but I hadn’t fully grasped his love of them and fantasy until we went in and I could feel his excitement and glee. He was just like the little kids who excitedly came in and plopped down in the reading nook where all the picture books were! “So, I never asked,” I quietly said as we browsed, “but … when did you start getting into these books?”

He smiled a little as he scanned the spines of various books on the shelves in front of us. “It was a random thing. I was out exploring - one-a the old cities - and lookin’ around in the buildings, seein’ what I could salvage. Back then, before glimmer, it was all bartering. And I counted myself lucky, bein’ an Exo. Not needing food or anything like that because, sometimes, finding - even catching food - was hard. So not having to worry about that was an extra load off. But ammo … ammo was always important. So finding good stuff I could trade for bullets was key,” he said, glancing at me, smiling a little. “Anyway, I was lookin’ around for whatever I could find and, in one-a the buildings, I found a couple-a books. First books I ever found or read - as six. Besides the journal I had on me.”

“What were they?” I asked.

He frowned. “One was really boring. I don’t remember. It was some military book. But it was all in one piece and got me some ammo, so I traded it. The other, the cover was partially burned. The beginning of it was gone - the first couple-a pages. But … it was about a stuffed rabbit that … was so loved it became real.”

I smiled. I knew the story he was speaking of. “What happened to it?”

I felt a pang of sadness as well as deep sentimentality rise up inside him and I looked at him, concerned, opening my mouth to ask him if he was okay. I didn’t get a chance to, though, before he shook his head and leaned over, pressing a kiss to my forehead. “It’s with Andal,” he whispered, then shook his head again, as if to gently ask me not to say any more right now. I nodded and rubbed his chest and slipped my other arm around his lower back, giving him a warm, reassuring hug. I was actually surprised he’d said as much as he had here, now knowing that. 

He made a throat-clearing sound. “I’m okay,” he murmured.

He wasn’t, but I nodded.

“Well, anyway, I know those two weren’t exactly romance,” he said, smirking a bit. “But they were what I started with. It was later - when I started thinkin’ about who I may have been before - that the Queen and Ace came to be. And I’d make up stories in my head. Of what if’s and … just … maybe a life I once had - maybe … wanted.” He shook his head, seeming a bit lost there for a moment. “When I started comin’ around people again, after bein’ in the Wilds for a time - not long before meeting … Andal … Um … they didn’t have a huge library, but they had books - where I was stayin’. So I read. And one of the books I read was a traditional tale of love. But it was sweet and … I really liked it. Got a little lost in it,” he said, smiling fondly. “Made me feel good for a while. Not so alone. I could be the guy in the story and feel like the girl was there with me, y’know?”

I nodded and lightly caressed the small of his back with my thumb, noticing his eyelids droop a little before he shook himself out of it. “Do you want to go?” I asked. “It’s okay if you do.”

He shook his head. “No, no. I’m good,” he assured me. “Besides,” he said, perking up a bit and tucking the other stuff away. “You wanted to get some special books.” He smiled and winked. 

He wasn’t fully okay. I don’t think it was a bad thing I asked about the books or that it brought up these memories he had, it was just sort of a lousy place and time because it seemed like he would have kept talking and opened up more if we had been home. For now, though, he seemed to want to set that part of it aside so I smiled and nodded. “If you’re sure.” 

He nodded. “Yeah. Just … got sentimental there. I’m alright.”

I gave his cheek a kiss and felt him lean into me a bit more than usual as we wandered around the shop for almost an hour looking around at all kinds of books and even sharing a cup of coffee from the little bar the owners had set up. By the time we were done, Cayde had three new books, two romance and one fantasy. We’d also picked out a book that was … a little more adult, even if a bit on the cheesy side. “How come you like the cheesy books?” I asked. “Why not the more serious ones?”

“Come on, can you see me with anything serious?” Cayde snorted, smirking at me. I chuckled. I had to agree, he had a point there. “But, uh, no … life is … well, you know … it’s already serious a lot of the time. It’s nice to escape that,” he said and I nodded, hugging his arm as we headed out of the shop. “‘Course, haven’t needed to do that as much now with, uh, with you in the picture. In a different way than before. I haven’t felt that need to escape as much. Well, at all, really. Now I just like to read because I enjoy it.”

“Is that what you were doing before? Escaping?” I asked as we crossed over one of the short stone bridges that took us into another area of shops. 

He nodded, adjusting his scarf and hood to protect himself from some cool winds that were coming in. “When you and I started hangin’ together and talking after the War, it took the place of reading like I used to do all the time. I still read, but … I did it less. I enjoyed bein’ with you. Enjoyed talkin’ with you. You took me away from the hard things I was dealin’ with. Even - even when I was talkin’ about them with you, you were helpin’ make it better. It wasn’t stayin’ all trapped in here,” he said, touching his chest. “I felt safe with you the way I did in the books. Even more, actually.”

I reached up and caressed the back of his head through the hood and down the back of his neck as he looked over at me. “I had no idea,” I softly said, shaking my head. He shrugged, seeming to not really know what to say. “So it was kind of like when you’d write to your Queen, in your journals? When you’d lean back against the pillow and pretend she was there with you … the books took you away like that, hm?”

He nodded. “Yeah,” he murmured. “At the end of the day, after everything we dealt with - Ikora, Zavala, and I - Sometimes it was pretty tough. Depended on what big nasty decided to rear its ugly head that day - I’d pick up one of my books and just get lost in it for a while.” He shrugged. “I know I’m not the only one who does that. Lots of people do. But … you seemed surprised, so …”

“It was just that I didn’t know it was something that important to you,” I explained. “Ghost and I both knew you liked the romance novels. When you invited me to hang around with you more, I noticed them in with your stuff. But we just thought they were something fun and silly you read. I didn’t know they held a deeper meaning to you.”

He smiled a little and I hugged his arm a bit tighter. There was so much to him that I knew, but so much more that he still had a bit guarded. And that wasn’t for lack of trust, it was just parts of himself he was used to keeping close to the chest. If I asked, I knew he’d share them with me but, otherwise, they weren’t things he tended to think to or really want to talk about.

We heard a soft ping, then, and Ghost materialized in front of us shortly after. “We got a message from Ana Bray. She found something she thought you might find interesting while continuing her search through the Clovis-Bray files on Mars. She’s wondering if you have time to come by.”

 

After meeting with Zavala to clear our launch to Mars, we went home to change into our armor and get ready.

“He had that look on his face. You know the one he gets,” I said to Cayde of Zavala as I pulled my underarmor on. 

Cayde nodded, zipping up his one piece brown jumpsuit he wore under his heavier leather armor. He seemed preoccupied and was quieter than normal. I could also sense he was a bit anxious. I was guessing he wasn’t sure what Ana had found and it was Clovis-Bray, so that was putting him on edge for now until he knew more.

“Hey … Space Cowboy,” I gently said, waving my hand in front of his face. “You okay?” 

“Hm?” He grunted, startling a little. “Oh, sorry, babe.”

“It’s okay,” I nodded. “You alright?”

“Yeah,” he nodded. 

I turned my hand over, offering it to him. He smiled and took it, lifting it to his lips, kissing the backs of my fingers. “If it was something bad, she’d know well enough and warn us. It’ll be okay,” I assured him.

“I know,” he nodded. “It’s just that it’s … them. Anything with them I … I worry.” He frowned and looked at me. “What look did Zavala have?”

I smirked. “The ‘I’m worried about what this may be, so be careful’, face.”

Cayde let out a little chuckle. “Yup, that sounds about right,” he nodded before his smile faded a bit.

“Sure you’re okay?”

He nodded. “Yeah,” he said, but it didn’t sound very believable. “Besides, I got you here. I know you won’t let anything happen to me,” he winked.

I stepped closer to him and kissed his cheek before tenderly caressing it. “It’s true, you know?” I said, my tone affectionate but serious, “I really won’t let anything happen to you,” I told him. 

He frowned as he tilted his head, looking at me questioningly, as if he didn’t know how to respond to that.

“I know. Big bad Hunter who’s been out on his own for centuries, traveling all over the Sol System and fighting some of the biggest and baddest there is out there - He can totally take care of himself,” I said, smiling a little as I adjusted his collar. “And then here’s me, only been at this job a few years. Not even a blink of an eye compared to you. Sure I may have taken out a few baddies and … put a few so called ‘gods’ in their place … But I’m still no where near as experienced as you out there.” I looked into his eyes and I could tell he was taking a moment to register what I was saying. “Even so, my Light, I promise, _I won’t let anything happen to you_ ,” I vowed.

He blinked at me and I not only felt within him but saw a myriad of emotions pass over his features, so easily visible, even for an Exo. I knew he wanted to reassure me he could take care of himself, but we both knew, even the best Hunters out there could get overwhelmed - as had happened to him in the prison. I knew he didn’t want me to think of him like a burden I had to look out for, but saw he immediately squashed that thinking, knowing I never had and never would see him that way. He was a strong, capable and skilled man under all the cockiness and goofing around and I could see the warring thoughts within his eyes as he reasoned out what I had said. He knew I hadn’t said it as any attack on his capabilities, expertise, or experience. I said it as a vow to someone I love more than _anything_. That I would protect him from the things that threatened him just as I knew he would protect me. It was my vowing to have his back, to look out for him and be the reassurance he needed if things ever got really bad. It was my reiterating something he already knew but just needed to hear right now.

And, maybe … maybe I needed to say it as much as he needed to hear it. Needed to remind myself that things were different now. That what had happened at the prison had been terrible and frightened both of us. That we never should have separated but neither of us could have known what was waiting below. By some miracle or sheer luck - perhaps a bit of both - he hadn’t left us for good. He was here and alive. But I knew I’d never be so careless again. And I knew he’d never let himself be so cocky and arrogant again, either. 

Without saying anything, he leaned over and hugged me, pressing his face into the side of my neck and nodded as he breathed me in. I put my arms around him and hugged him tight, nodding, too.

“As a Hunter - And-And I tell them this all the time - your job is to watch everyone else’s back, which means no one is watching yours but you,” Cayde murmured. “Even with friends and a Fireteam, that’s the way it is. That’s whatchya get used to. Especially when you’re out in the Wilds a long time. Problem with me is, I get cocky and … and arrogant. I get overconfident. That’s what went wrong in the prison. I …” He sighed and shook his head, pressing his face against my neck a little more. “There never was a time I had someone really watching my back,” he murmured and I felt his warm breath brushing along my skin, making me tilt my head against his. “Not like this. Not that I … allowed,” he continued. "It’s just the way it is-was. But this … this is different. I _feel_ you there, Ais.” He hugged me a little tighter, being careful not to squeeze me too hard though. “And I don’t know what to do with it cause … cause parta me is so relieved … but another part of me is … scared.”

“Why?” I whispered, lightly stroking the back of his head with my fingers.

“Cause I …I’m afraid of doin’ something stupid … and you’re gonna be there to save me from it but … but it’s gonna be like … Sundance.”

I winced and eased him back, squeezing his shoulders. His head was bowed and I gave him a gentle shake to get him to look at me. “Hey,” I whispered and he finally lifted his eyes to mine. “ _Nothing_ is going to happen to me. Or you. We watch out for each other. We take care of each other.” He nodded but I could feel something was wrong. “Come’ere,” I said and took his hand, leading him over to the couch, sitting him down. I sat down beside him and turned, pulling him back against me. He hugged my arms tight to his chest and pulled this knees up. “What’s wrong?” I asked. He shook his head, not saying anything but I could sense the anxiousness and trepidation building within him until he was shaking in my arms. “Cayde …?”

He shook his head again and turned onto his side, curling up even more, resting his head on my chest. 

“Okay,” I whispered, nodding, laying my hand against the side of his neck, my fingers stroking along the back of his head. I felt his hand wrap around my wrist, holding on tight, still shaking. “It’s alright. Whatever it is, it’s alright,” I murmured, kissing the top of his head. Ghost appeared and looked down at Cayde, clearly worried, the back end of his shell twitching anxiously. I shook my head at him. ‘I don’t know,’ I silently mouthed to him as he floated down just above Cayde, watching him carefully.

I waited a few minutes, resting my cheek against his head, but he still hadn’t spoken. “Cayde … baby,” I whispered, “whatever it is, you can tell me. But I need you to talk to me, okay?” I hadn’t seen him like this since the prison and it was scaring me a bit. I didn’t know what had triggered it. He seemed fine this morning and overjoyed getting the rings. Maybe it was the book store? Talking about Andal? I didn’t know. But, clearly, something got to him.

“Y-you remember telling me … about how you were scared … that - that as soon as we … as soon we got married … somethin’ bad was gonna happen and … and take me away?” He uttered, his voice so quiet I held my breath so I could hear him. I nodded, kissing the top of his head and gently twisted my wrist to get him to let go before wrapping both my arms around him. “I … The nightmares are comin’ back. But last night I … I had one of us. Not of the Crypt.” He shook his head again. “They took you away. They took you away and I couldn’t stop ‘em.”

“Who?”

“Them. The shadows. They don’t have faces. They never have faces cause I can’t remember,” he quickly uttered, shaking again.

“Shhhhhh. I’m right here,” I whispered, rubbing his back. “I’m right here.” I looked up at Ghost who had stopped twitching the back end of his shell and was just listening to and watching Cayde, obviously very concerned, just as I was. “Why didn’t you tell me?” 

“I thought I’d be okay. Thought shopping for the rings would help. And it-it did. I felt _so_ good,” he uttered before shaking his head, letting out a little sob. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to ruin today.”

“Shhhh. You didn’t,” I assured him.

“I just couldn’t shake it. And I-I was trynna hide it cause you were so happy and I didn’t wanna - didn’t wanna be a downer. But we got to talkin’ about A-Andal and …” He shook his head. “It’s not your f-fault but it just …” He shook his head again.

“Started making you feel that loss you were trying to push away?” I murmured. 

He nodded.

I nodded, too. “I’m right here,” I whispered again and rested my cheek back on top of his head, rocking him gently as I quietly hummed the lyrics to a slow and soothing song, trying to calm him down. 

There were so many things - so many dark and terrible things he was holding onto from so many lifetimes. Some he couldn’t remember, but they showed themselves to him in his dreams. And he put on the brave face and flashed the upbeat and silly façade … but under it all, he was scared. And little by little, it seemed he wanted to talk about it, despite his steadfast assurance he wanted and needed to keep that part of his life to himself to keep those he loved safe. It was wearing him down, though. It was a burden that he was having a very hard time carrying alone anymore. He knew I was more than willing to carry it with him. To help him. And telling him I wouldn’t let anything happen to him … I think that was both a tremendous comfort but also worried him. He didn’t want anything to happen to me any more than I wanted anything to happen to him.

After a short while, I noticed he’d relaxed. The shaking had stopped and I couldn’t sense what he was feeling anymore. I tilted my head, looking at his face, and saw he’d drifted off to sleep. I gradually stopped humming and kissed the top of his head one more time, then pulled the blanket off the back of the couch and eased it over us before looking up at Ghost. “Little Light?” I whispered and he floated down closer to me. “Could you contact Ana and let her know, unless it’s really pressing, we’ll be there tomorrow instead?” He bobbed an affirmative. “And could you also let Zavala know? Don’t …” I shook my head. “Don’t tell him about Cayde. Just let him know something came up. Okay?” Ghost bobbed again and floated off to the apartment console to see to that while I laid my head back into the pillow and closed my eyes, not sleeping, but letting myself drift a bit while Cayde rested.

 

I wasn’t too sure if it was an hour or two that passed before movement against me snapped me out of the light doze I’d drifted into. I blinked my eyes open to see Cayde shifting, lifting his head and looking around, seeming a bit confused before he realized he was laying on top of me. He tilted his head up, his eyes catching mine, and I smiled warmly at him, stroking his cheek. “Hey,” I whispered. 

“Ais?”

“Yeah.”

“What happened?” He uttered, sounding a bit groggy. He closed his eyes and rubbed his hand over his face, waking himself up a bit more.

“You don’t remember?” I asked. I had to admit, while a little worried about that, I wasn’t surprised.

He frowned for a moment then I watched his eyes slowly go wide as it all came back to him. He winced, scrunching up his face. “Shhhhhit,” he uttered. “I’m s-” 

“Don’t you even,” I gently said, cutting him off with a finger to his lips. “It’s alright. There’s nothing to be sorry for.”

He sighed, looking at me sadly and shook his head, as if trying to silently say it anyway, then sat up, easing the blanket off his side. I sat up with him and rubbed his back. “Want me to make you some tea?”

“Don’t we hafta go to see Ana?” He asked.

I shook my head. “Ghost rescheduled to tomorrow.”

He frowned then leaned over and briefly rested his forehead on my shoulder, sighing, and I sensed the relief. “Tea would be great, babe, thanks.” He lifted his head and gave me a bit of a smile. 

I smiled back then kissed his cheek and got up, going over to the kitchen to heat up some water. As I set the kettle on the stove I heard Cayde moving around behind me and turned around to see him heading for the room where we kept our armor and weapons, unzipping his suit along the way.

After Cayde came back out, changed back into his sweater and pants, I gave him his tea and he took it back to the couch where I noticed Ghost was waiting for him while I went and changed back into my own clothes. When I came back out, Ghost was settled on the arm of the couch next to Cayde, who was sitting with knees pulled up and slightly parted, forearms resting on top of them. He was holding the cup in his hands, blankly starring at it, even as I came over and sat down with him with my own tea.

“What were you humming to me earlier?” He murmured.

I looked at him, mid-sip of my tea, before swallowing and setting my cup down on the coffee table. I rubbed his arm, then got back up, feeling him watching me as I went over to the music console next to the fireplace and scanned through it until I found the song I’d been humming to. 

As very soft, slow piano music began to play I noticed Ghost look between us as I went over to Cayde and held his eyes with mine as I eased his cup from his hands, setting it down beside mine. I carefully tugged him to his feet and put my arm around his waist, taking his hand with my other, and began to sway with him to the soothing melody as a woman’s voice began to sing the lyrics.

_I will be the answer at the end of the line_  
_I will be there for you while you take the time_  
_In the burning of uncertainty I will be your solid ground_  
_I will hold the balance if you can't look down_  
_If it takes my whole life I won't break I won't bend_  
_It'll all be worth it worth it in the end_  
_'Cause I can only tell you what I know_  
_That I need you in my life_  
_When the stars have all gone out_  
_You'll still be burning so bright_

He closed this eyes and pressed his forehead to mine, not saying a thing. I could feel him, though. Feel him trying to calm himself and let go of the feelings from earlier. 

_Cast me gently into morning_  
_For the night has been unkind_  
_Take me to a place so holy_  
_That I can wash this from my mind_  
_The memory of choosing not to fight_

“You’re not angry,” he murmured. It wasn’t a question. 

I shook my head. “Why would I be angry?” I murmured back.

He shrugged a little. “Kinda screwed up today. I didn’t mean to lose it on ya.”

“You didn’t do it on purpose, Firefly.”

“It was supposed to be happy, though, and … special.” He sighed.

“It was. Still can be. The day isn’t over, handsome,” I told him, smiling a little.

He blinked, his lips parting like he was going to say something then he let out a surprised yet grateful little chuckle and wrapped his arms around me, hugging me close. “Why are you so understanding?”

“Because I love you, you silly man,” I told him, hugging him back.

He lifted his head and looked at me, searching my eyes with his before leaning back in, kissing me softly.

_If it takes my whole life I won't break I won't bend_  
_It'll all be worth it worth it in the end_  
_'Cause I can only tell you what I know_  
_That I need you in my life_  
_When the stars have all burned out_  
_You'll still be burning so bright_

_Cast me gently into morning for the night has been unkind._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone is curious and wants to hear the song, it's on YouTube and Spotify. It's called 'Answer' by Sarah McLachlan.
> 
> Again, sorry for the angst, it's just where the story seemed to want to go. Hope you all liked it anyway. More soon!


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this one is a short chapter but it's one I'm sure a lot of you have been curious about and waiting for. So, enjoy! More soon!

After a few soft and sweet songs, slowly dancing together, we went upstairs and laid down on the bed, spending the rest of the evening and late into the night, just talking. I’d curled up against Cayde’s side, resting my head on his shoulder, feeling his arms go around me in one of the snuggliest hugs he’d ever given. I’d smiled and hugged him right back, pressing a tender little kiss to his jaw. 

“So, what happened?” I quietly asked, rubbing his chest.

He sighed and shook his head. “I don’t know,” he admitted and shrugged. “Never had that happen before. Losin’ it like that just cause I got overwhelmed.” He laid his hand on top of the one I had on his chest, curling it around mine, idly caressing my knuckles with his thumb. “That ain’t like me.”

I shook my head. “No, it’s not,” I agreed as I sat up a little on my side, propping my elbow up above his shoulder in the pillow, and resting my cheek on the heel of my hand.

“I scared you this time, didn’t I?” He asked.

I pressed my lips together then sighed and nodded. “A little. I wasn’t surprised you got overwhelmed. But your reaction scared me, yeah.”

He gave my hand a squeeze. “Let me say it?” He said and gave me a look that said he really needed to, so I nodded. “I’m sorry,” he murmured, reaching up, touching my cheek, giving it a soft pat before laying his hand back over mine. 

I curled my fingers around his and nodded. “It’s okay,” I assured him and leaned over, kissing his forehead, letting my lips linger against the smooth, cream-colored metal for a moment before sitting back up. “You said something about shadows. That shadows took me away. That they were always shadows because you couldn’t remember their faces.” He turned his head a bit, looking up at me. “You were really scared,” I added.

He stayed quiet for a bit, looking at me, then off at things around the room, obviously contemplating before finally speaking, his voice quiet. “The shadows, I think, are the scientists from the labs. The ones who switched me.” He gave his head a little shake. “I can never see their faces, though, or anything familiar in any of the dreams. Everything is always blurred and dim. I just see fuzzy shapes and … w-well not colors. There are no colors. Everything’s black and white and gray. It’s like the medlab back on Enceladus. But all blurry.”

“What happens in the dream?”

He went quiet again and I didn’t push it. I let him take his time.

“I think I’m relivin’ that moment when I was human … and then an Exo. When they put me in this body.” He shifted himself, rolling a bit onto his left side so he was turned into me more and looked up at me. “It’s terrifying,” he whispered and I squeezed his hand, feeling him squeeze mine back. “Not only can’t I see, I can’t hear. Everything is muffled and … garbled up. I hear sounds - voices, I think - but I can’t understand anything. I hear echos of feet on the floor and … I think, equipment.” He frowned. “Computers … something making a loud whirring noise. And then I get really scared … and I start shakin’. I try not to. And then I panic and wanna leave. I try to move but I can’t. They won’t let me. And I start screamin’ and trynna get free but suddenly this - this _awful_ pain rips through my head. I mean, really, it-it feels like someone took an axe to my head.” He looked up at me, still holding my hand, and pointed his index finger at me. “And, believe me, I’ve taken an axe to the head. That’s what it felt like.” 

I couldn’t help but smirk a little, even as I winced. I leaned over again, giving the top of his head a kiss. 

He chuckled a little at my reaction. “Seriously, though, it hurt like hell. And then there’s this loud, deafening, vibrating screech. The kind that makes you wanna throw up, it’s so bad. Then I feel this weird … pulling. After that, everything goes black and silent.” He took a steadying breath and slowly let it out. 

“This is a dream?” I asked him. It was very vivid for a dream. But, then, he is an Exo. They didn’t really dream like Humans or Awoken.

He nodded. 

“How often do you have this dream?” I asked.

“Few times a year, maybe,” he shrugged. “They feel more like fragments of memories playing out as really bad dreams, though.”

I nodded. That is what it sounded like. “You know that entry in your first journal about how you’re pissed off cause you thought they sent you a bill for the hull damage but it turns out it must have been a letter offering you the security job, but as an Exo?” He nodded. “You wrote that you suddenly weren’t so mad anymore. Not just because they were going to forgive the hull damage, but all your debt. So it seems like - at least at that point - you were okay with it. And then there was another entry - ” I paused when I noticed he was smiling at me. “What?” I smiled back.

He shook his head. “I love how you know my journals as well as - if not better - than I do.” He waved his hand. “Keep going. What were you gonna say?”

I chuckled a little. “Um, I was going to say, there was that other entry you wrote to Ace about next time he saw you he might not recognize you because you’d be a robot.” I shook my head. “What I was getting at was, it seemed like - at least at first - you were okay with it. And then, after, you seemed to be fine, too, like in the entries you wrote about doing the security detail for Sundaresh. But … I’m more inclined to believe your fragments of memories and some of your dreams, where you're scared, than the journal entires. And I only say that because you also write about how they rebooted you and wiped things from your mind. After it was done. What if …”

“They altered things?” He offered. I nodded and he nodded, too. “I thought of that. I already know they messed around with my memories. But I wrote the thing about the hull and the letter in my journal before becomin’ an Exo. They weren’t in my head, then.”

“No,” I shook my head. “But … what if … it sounded good and it was a way out of all the debts, so you were willing to do it but … something changed your mind once you got there? You said you were scared. You tried to move and they wouldn’t let you. What if the letter to forgive your debt was just to lure you there but, once you saw what was really happening or figured something out you changed your mind but, by then, it was too late?”

He gave my hand a squeeze and nodded. “Already considered those things, too.” He sighed. “I can tell you, they made me do things I didn’t want to do. I can’t remember what they were personally, only what the other me wrote and what I see in the nightmares. And the nightmares … I can’t tell what’s really real and what’s exaggerated. But I know I did bad things.” He sighed again. “And the worst part of that is I don’t know what, exactly, to be sorry for, or who to ask forgiveness from. I just … I try to do good now to … to make up for it.” 

He closed his eyes, then, letting out a very careful but slightly shaky breath, then moved to sit up. I moved out of his way and sat up with him. “Ais … I … I need to tell you something. And … It’s something that … I … Scares me doesn’t begin to cover it,” he said, looking over at me. 

I nodded, setting my hand on his back. 

He nodded, too. “I wasn’t gonna tell you. But, uh … Well … I think if we weren’t bonded I’d, uh … I’d keep it all a secret. It’s not a trust thing. It’s a me scared shitless thing. But I need you to promise me something first.”

I nodded. “Okay,” I said, a bit hesitant and concerned but if he needed me to do something for him, I would.

“If … if I’m ever not … me. If something like what happened with Hiraks happens again … Promise me you’ll stop me? Promise me you won’t let me hurt you or anyone else. Promise me, Ais. Please?”

I looked at his eyes, glancing back and forth from one to the other. That was … “You’re saying … you want me to promise to kill you if I have to?” I frowned.

He swallowed and nodded. “I-I couldn’t live with myself if I hurt you. Really hurt you or … or killed you. And I mean the no comin’ back killed you. Or if I did that to anyone else I love and care about. Especially Ikora, Zavala, and Amanda … Please, Ais?” 

His voice was shaking and I could feel the desperation within him as well as the fear. I took his hand in both my own and gave it a squeeze, nodding, even though I didn’t want to promise this. I knew, if things were reversed - if I knew there was a chance I’d hurt him - I’d want him to do the same. “I promise,” I vowed. 

He nodded then leaned over and put his arms around me, resting his chin on my shoulder. “Okay … um … so … you can’t ever say anything. Okay? This needs to stay between us.” I nodded, returning the embrace. “Right," he nodded. “If-if … Traveler help me,” he quickly uttered and shook his head, clearing his throat and I frowned, feeling nothing from him but anxiety and trepidation. “If I tell you this and you wanna leave me, I understand,” he quickly said.

My eyes widened and I put my hands on his sides, pushing him back so I could look at his face. “Hey …” I shook my head. “I’m not going anywhere, Cayde. You hear me? No matter what it is. Unconditional. Remember?” I saw the briefest hint of tears in his eyes before he blinked them away and regained his composure, nodding. It didn’t change how he felt, though. He really was scared as hell right now. “Cayde, just tell me. Whatever it is, I’m not going anywhere. You won’t lose me.”

He closed his eyes, taking another deep breath, calming down. “Sorry. Right. Okay … Okay,” he nodded, getting himself under control. “So … Um … the minds behind the Crypt … They put something in place in all of us. A subroutine. They call it The Long Slow Whisper. It’s designed to draw us all back to the Crypt and reset us … it’s an override. If we refuse to do what they want, they can force us. They’ve done it before. On Venus. A long time ago. Before the Collapse.”

“You remember?” I carefully asked, eyebrows furrowing as I tried to squash the anger I felt welling up inside me, not just on Cayde’s behalf, but also for all the other Exos they’d done this to.

“I don’t remember but I was smart enough to leave myself a warning before they called me back and wiped my memories of it. I even left myself a voice recording so I knew it was me. Not just hand written notes like my journals. I left myself records of what I - of what I did. We did. All of us. Those of us they had … doin’ things for them. Basically, what Clovis Bray wanted, they got. Didn’t matter who got in their way.”

I suddenly recalled Cayde’s words to me about Ana back on Enceladus when she’d pushed him too far: _“Typical Bray. So hell bent on something with no care who they hurt so long as they get what they want.”_. His anger in that moment now made so much more sense. Not that I didn’t already know he was angry with them and some of the reasons why. But now I really got the full sense of it.

“They made me. They can unmake me,” Cayde uttered. “But I’ll be damned if I’m gonna let them make me hurt the people I love. Especially you. If we weren’t bonded …” He shook his head. “I fell in love with you. Loved being with you. Stayin’ with you in your apartment after the War. But it was always in the back of my mind what could happen. If they’re still around - and I think they are, somewhere - and could activate that subroutine … It’s the real reason I was scared to share a bed with you. I was afraid I’d wake up in the middle of the night not myself. I still am. And I’m sorry I lied to you but … I wanted to be happy for once,” he managed, shaking his head, tears dripping out onto his pants when he closed his eyes. “It was so stupid and selfish, I know, but I wanted it and was so happy.” He shook his head again. “Makes me no better than them, though, I guess.”

I punched him in the shoulder hard enough to almost knock him over sideways. He yelped, grabbing and rubbing at the spot I’d just hit, looking over at me with wide, startled eyes, blinking. 

“Don’t you _ever_ say that again,” I snapped at him angrily. His mouth fell open a bit and I grabbed him up in my arms and pulled him against me. “Now what’s all this ‘was’ and ‘loved’ past tense bullshit? You think I’m going somewhere or something?” He leaned his head back and looked at me, bewildered. “What? You really think that’s going to make me leave you?” I asked him. Yeah, I wasn’t happy he’d lied to me, but I knew why and I got it. I got his reason for it. It wasn’t malicious. He was trying to protect me while trying to find a little bit of happiness, himself. And I sure as hell wasn’t going to be angry at him for that.

His lips moved like he was attempting to say something but nothing came out so he just shook his head like he was at a loss as to what to say.

“I _love_ you, Firefly. I’m not going anywhere,” I assured him, flashing him a smile. “And if they are out there and they try anything - if they make me have to keep that promise to you - I’ll find them and make them regret it. And then I’ll bring you back, just like before. But I’m not going anywhere,” I said, my own eyes tearing a bit at the promise.

Cayde shook his head. “Damned headstrong Titan,” he affectionately whispered, then hugged me tight, laughing a little. 

I tightened my arms around him and rocked him a bit, caressing the back of his head. “No more lying to me, okay? If you need to keep a secret or can’t tell me, just say so. I understand why you keep secrets. But don’t lie to me. Alright?”

He nodded. “Alright,” he murmured, then eased back out of the hug a little. “I should tell you something else, then.” I nodded and patiently waited. He cleared his throat. “The only one who I trusted with knowing anything even close to what you know now is Petra. She wasn’t here, she wasn’t a Guardian, she was part the Reef and could leave our dimension if she had to, so I knew she could get away from them if need be. So I entrusted her with … with taking care of me if I turned. I also kept her in the loop about things with the Crypt. But, the main thing is, she knew, if something happened to us Exos and that subroutine activated … she was supposed to find me and stop me, then fill in the others and do what she could to stop Clovis Bray. We should talk with her and let her know you know now and the new plans.”

I nodded and sighed, looking at him with sympathy, caressing his cheek. “No wonder you’ve been having such a hard time.” 

“I’m sorry,” he sighed, shaking his head. “I didn’t know what to do. I’ve never been in love before. Not in this life. Sundaresh was so long ago and I was a different man then. Not that it would have ever gone anywhere, now that I know what I know about her. And this life … well, you know this life. I thought I could handle it. Thought I had it all figured out so I could be with you but keep you safe. I never thought we’d be bonded. Light bonded. And I honestly never thought of marriage until after that. Basically, my planning was shit.”

I nodded. “Yeah,” I said matter-of-factly. He gave me a slight wounded look. I winked at him and smirked, and he snorted then playfully shoved me so I shoved him right back, which earned me a pillow to the face. I blinked, shocked, then tackled him onto the mattress and the next thing we knew, we were in an all out pillow fight, laughing hysterically! We finally had to stop after a while because our sides hurt from all the laughing! 

“You know, I think today turned out to be really special,” I murmured to him, laying beside him as we caught our breaths, my hand holding his between us, our fingers entwined. I heard and felt him move his head, turning it to look at me. I looked over at him and smiled. He smiled back and wiggled himself a bit closer and, as he did, I rolled over and cuddled up against his side, laying my head on his shoulder, just as I had when we came up here earlier. 

“I don’t know if I’ll have any nightmares tonight,” he said, putting his arms around me, “but I know, this time - for the first time - I’m not going to go to sleep worried if I do.”

I looked up at him and he flashed me a smile. I smiled back and we shared a soft, sweet kiss before we both settled back and fell sound asleep, wrapped up in each others arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have NO idea if the LSW is this or not. I don't know what Bungie has planned for that. This is a best and logical guess based off lore, research, and what others think it may be. I could be completely wrong. If I am, and we do find out, for sure, what it really is, I may come back and do an alternate chapter line here. It depends. We'll just have to wait and see. But, for now, here you go, I hope you liked it, and more to come soon!


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little more exploring, a little more cuddling, a little more Cayde and Ais just talking. All the things I know you like. More soon!

“Whelp, I see the Cabal are still at it,” Cayde said, glancing out the window as he circled us around over the Braytech Futurescape. 

“Hive, too. Looks like they still have a pretty good hold of the Core Terminus,” I observed, looking over the building that was still not only covered in Hive gunk but had Acolytes and a couple Knights moving about the entrances, as well as a few Thrall running about. I shook my head. Seemed for every one we put down, two more took their place.

Damned Hive.

“All set for transmat,” Ghost informed us as we came in close to the landing zone.

Cayde flipped a couple switches, putting the ship on auto pilot, then got up, checking his canon, slapping the barrel into place before reholstering it. “Ready, partner?” He asked me, flashing me a smile.

“Always,” I smiled back, getting up and joining him, pulling my helmet on and readying my sidearm.

Ghost transmatted us down onto the landing platform just outside the Futurescape building where we crossed over a concrete walkway that led inside. The Cabal that were in the area appeared more interested in fighting off the Hive than paying attention to us, although a couple Psions did try to get us with their Void Waves. Cayde leapt and rolled out of the way of one of the lines of fiery purple waves and propped himself up on one knee, quickly aiming and taking both of them out in two quick shots. I smiled as I watched him, always admiring seeing him in action, even doing the simplest things.

“Okay, so, I say, after whatever Bray has for us, we totally go around and clean up some Cabal and Hive,” Cayde said, holding his canon up near his shoulder, scanning for any more Cabal or Hive that might come running into the area. “Feels like it’s been forever since I got to fire my gun.”

I smirked to myself at his choice of words. “Didn’t you just do that yesterday, though?” I asked, deadpan.

Cayde frowned and lowered his gun. “When would I have - ?” His features quickly changed, eyebrows rising, as he realized what I’d hinted at. He smirked, nodding, pointing a finger at me. “Funny.” He sauntered over to me, playfully bumping into my side as he moved around behind me and gave me a little one-armed hug. “Funny Titan.”

I chuckled and shrugged. “I hang around you all the time. Some of it’s bound to …” I bumped back into him with my butt, “ _rub off_.” He laughed and we headed inside the Futurescape building where we saw Ana working at a couple computers and a console at the top of the stairs near the large windows.

“Well, you two are in a good mood,” She greeted as we climbed the steps up to her.

“And why wouldn’t we be?” Cayde asked, holstering his gun. “Outta the Tower, stunning Martian landscape to explore, bad guys to shoot. Just like old times,” he said, leaning up against one of the console tables, crossing his arms over his chest. “What’s up?”

Ana smirked. “You guys remember the Dust Palace, right?” 

Cayde and I both nodded. “Been there a few times before the Red War,” I said.

“Well, I found some references to it in here in some locked files. Stuff about the Exo Science research labs,” Amanda said.

“Labs?” I asked, my eyebrows rising. “You mean lab, right? The one on the upper level?”

Ana smirked and shook her head. “There’s another one.”

I frowned and looked over at Cayde. “Did you know about that?”

“Nope,” he said, shaking his head, pushing himself away from the table and coming over to stand beside me. Ana typed in a few commands on the keyboard and I looked at the architectural schematic of the Dust Palace she was pulling up on her computer. Since the Dust Palace was part of the Buried City - meaning the City itself had literally been buried under the sand dunes of Mars for centuries - we had only ever known a portion of the actual building that remained sticking up out of the ground. From exploring it in the past, I knew the now ground level was once an observatory dome that had, at one time, been on what was roughly the thirty-sixth or seventh floor. Of course, that meant thirty-five levels or so were buried under the sand. According to the schematic, in its day, the Dust Palace stood a whopping fifty-five stories. 

“Wow,” I uttered, pulling my helmet off to get a clearer look at the screen, feeling Cayde lean over my shoulder to get a better look, too. “So all this,” I said, drawing a line across more than half the building with my finger and gesturing to everything below it, “is all buried?”

She nodded. “Yeah. And this …” she said, pulling up another set of prints and pointing at a mapped room on the twentieth floor, “is the second laboratory.”

The room itself didn’t show anything. It was just a labeled quadrant in the building, but it appeared most, if not all, of the twentieth floor was devoted to Exo Science. “That’s a good fifteen stories below ground. Do you have anything on it?” Cayde asked.

“No. When I looked up stuff for the upper level lab, I can only pull up a simple description of what it was used for. It looks like it was mostly a maintenance and counseling lab. Exos that needed repairs, routine work, or had DER issues would go there. There aren’t any personal records that I can find, though. Nothing helpful. And no records on who worked there, either. Also, the lab equipment that had been in there is long damaged and stripped.”

I nodded. “Yeah, it’s pretty torn up in there. Only thing Ghost and I ever found that was still somewhat active was some kind of machine,” I shook my head. “An A.I. with a connection to Rasputin. Ghost said he was controlling it,” I told her as Ghost materialized between Cayde and I at the mention of his name.

Ana blinked. “Charlemagne? It was still active?”

“Who?” Cayde asked.

“Charlemagne,” Ana repeated. “A submind of Rasputin.”

“Ah,” Cayde nodded. “Right.”

I frowned at Cayde. It seemed he knew what that meant. “What do you mean? What’s a submind?” I asked Ana, turning my attention back to her. Apparently that was something about my mission neither Zavala, Ikora, or Cayde - at the time - had let me in on for whatever reason. Of course, it had been early on and the things I’d come to do and learn since then had changed things.

“Well, Rasputin’s the main mind but he had subminds that branched out from him to preform other tasks throughout Mars. Charlemagne, Malahayati, and Voluspa. Charlemagne’s the one you found in Meridian Bay. I never thought it would’ve still been active after all this time, though.” She pressed her lips together for a moment. “So that’s what the Cabal were so interested in there.” 

I looked at Cayde. “I take it this was above my pay grade at the time."

“Teensy bit,” Cayde nodded, holding up his hand, his finger and thumb close together. “But, hey,” he shrugged. “I think it’s safe to say things are a bit different now, though.”

I smiled. “So Rasputin branched off and was running other things around Mars, including stuff with Exo Science?” I asked Ana.

She nodded. “Yeah. Everything was tied into him. Either directly, or indirectly with the subminds.”

“Well, that confirms it,” I told Cayde. “You’re definitely not Rasputin. You can’t multitask for shit.”

Cayde snorted and chuckled. “I seem to, uh, ‘multitask’ just fine when it counts,” he said to me in a hinting voice, giving me a wink.

“Subtle,” Ana snorted.

“Hey, I can flirt all I want with my wife,” Cayde told her. “One-a the great perks of bein’ married.”

“You’re not married yet,” Ana pointed out.

“Technically, we are,” Cayde told her. “So,” he then said, quickly diverting the conversation, cutting off Ana who was obviously about to ask something, “I take it you called us here to go check out the Dust Palace? You do realize that whole area’s back in Cabal hands? Well inside the Exclusion Zone now.”

“Since when has something like a few hundred Cabal and an Exclusion Zone ever stopped you?” Ana asked him.

Cayde looked over at me, his eyes practically twinkling and I smirked. “Oooh, you’re going to have some fun today, aren’t you?”

 

The Buried City, along with much of the area I’d explored when I’d first came to Mars, was half-way around the planet from the Hellas Basin. Riding the sparrow there would take too long and be impractical to boot, so we re-boarded the ship and made the quick flight over, transmatting down into The Barrens. 

Phobos, surrounded in prismatic shimmering mist, was a massive rotating moon that hung not far above the derelict cityscape only a couple miles over the dunes in front of us. Low winds kicked up more dust and sand here than Hellas Basin. It was dryer and hotter here, no ice, and Cayde had put his helmet on before we’d transmatted down to avoid all the sand getting into his face.

As we stepped up over one of the dunes and looked out toward the city, I tried to imagine it much bigger and more sprawling, the buildings far taller, as the schematics and blueprints Ana had found showed. “How much of the Buried City have you explored?” I asked Cayde.

“Likely about as much as you,” he said. 

“Came here looking for stuff about your past? With Clovis Bray?”

He nodded. “Found as much as you, too. Just stuff gone to hell and cleaned out. Whatever was here was long gone.”

“This place doesn’t seem to bother you like the other place. You’re not as … weary of it,” I said, noticing he’d been more curious to explore what Ana had found here as opposed to anything having to do with Enceladus. 

“That’s cause the other place is home base,” Cayde pointed out, glancing at me. “Mars was just made to look like it was. The other place, though … Well, you know.” I nodded. He didn’t have to explain. I had Ghost summon Cayde’s sparrow then got on, waiting for him to get on behind me. He was the better shot, especially at faster speeds. 

“I’m picking up Red Legion readings in the area,”Ghost told us, “but nothing near the large numbers I was expecting.” 

“Well, that’s good,” Cayde said as I heard him click his canon barrel back together then slip an arm around my middle, holding on. “Should make gettin’ in a bit easier.”

“Yeah, but what is it you always say? It’s not the getting in, it’s the getting out?” I smirked. 

“That’s what I got you for, though,” he said, sounding amused. “You’re just as tough as any Cabal I’ve ever run into. We get stuck, you can just punch our way out, right?”

“You’d love watching that, wouldn’t you?” I chuckled.

 

I sent us soaring up over a few dunes then zipped us down into an underground gnarled tunnel that had once been the insides of a building, bringing us out on the other side into the Hollows, the Dust Palace right in front of us. Of course, it wasn’t enough we had Red Legion to deal with, but also Taken that had come into the area. After taking some time to clear ourselves a path and any threats in the area, we made our way inside, Ghost using Ana’s directions from the schematic to guide us through.

“According to this … we need to go down … to go up … to go down,” Ghost uttered, trying to make sense of the plans while Cayde got his helmet off. “Ooooh. Oh, I see,” he said after a few moments. You remember the elevators at the center of the other observatory?” He asked, making Cayde’s helmet disappear. “That huge room with the balconies and all the windows? I think that’s where we’re supposed to go. Looks like it’s the elevator shaft there that’ll take us down.”

Seemed some Red Legion had also made a camp out of the inside of the building, along with a few Flayers, but only part way in. Once we got past the main entrance, the place seemed clear and a relative ghost town. In fact, the bodies of the Cabal, Flayers, and even Vex I’d taken care of, years prior, were still laying where they’d fallen, the Cabal and Flayer’s bodies now rotted away to dried husks inside their armor. I’d noticed Cayde look at me but he didn’t say anything. I think he sensed that, while I knew I’d done what I’d had to - that it was them or me at the time and they had been trying to kill me - it still struck me in a melancholy way to see the bodies still lying there. To see what I’d left behind. I think he knew all to well from personal experience that there was nothing that really could be said. We both just knew and I found him walking a little closer to me as we made our way to the place marked on the radar, his own way of showing and offering comfort without making a big deal out of it.

I appreciated it.

When we found the elevator shaft, the elevators themselves were blocking the way down, but along the side of one of the lifts, there was a gap wide enough for us to squeeze through and get access to the emergency and maintenance ladder. Cayde used a rope, tying it to a white pipe and slipped through first but I quickly realized, as a Titan, with my armor, there was no way I’d fit, so I ended up having to take my armor off.

I noticed Cayde peek his head back up through the gap when I wasn’t right behind him. “Whoa. Whatchya doin’?” He asked.

“I can’t fit. Too fat. All that pie,” I joked, taking stuff off, Ghost making the pieces disappear as he stored them for me.

“Pie, huh? I think it’s more just you Titans and your obsession with big shoulders. Sure, maybe they absorb some of the force but look at ya. You can’t squeeze through any tiny spaces like us _nimble_ Hunters!” He gloated.

“But that’s why we have you Hunters,” I pointed out. “We send you all into the tiny spaces cause we know that’s where all the creepy little things usually lurk that tend to eat ya. Then, if you don’t come back, we know not to go in,” I teased, playfully tapping the tip of his horn.

He made a face then flipped me an affectionate middle finger and disappeared back down the shaft while I chuckled and followed. 

“Wait!,” Cayde suddenly called up below me, just as I started making my way down the ladder. 

I immediately stopped, hearing the urgency in his voice. “What? What is it?” I asked, looking down.

“It’s … It’s … Oh, Traveler, no!” He gasped. “It’s one of the creepy little things coming up to _EAT YOU_!” He dramatically exclaimed, then grabbed at my ankle and made a nomming motion with his hand and fingers as he yanked at my foot, making snarling and munching noises.

I yelped in surprise, trying to pull my foot away. “You little shit! Get moving or I’ll step on your head!” I told him, laughing.

He laughed back and winked up at me as he let my ankle go. 

Goofball.

 

After climbing down about three stories, Cayde sighed. “This is gonna take forever, y’know? I got a shorter way,” he offered.

“You’re going to let go and fall, aren’t you?” I asked.

“It’s quicker,” he pointed out with a little shrug.

“I thought you didn’t like heights and falling?” I asked.

“I don’t. If I don’t expect it. But when I do it knowingly, on purpose, that’s something different,” he pointed out. “I’m prepared for it."

Well, that made sense, I guess. Still, I groaned. “Alright but wait.” I motioned him to move over and I worked my way down the ladder until we were side by side. “Not letting you fall alone,” I told him, putting my arm around him.

“Why does this feel romantic?” He asked, smirking at me.

Cayde and his romance.

“Shut up,” I told him, pulling him close against me. “Ghost? You ready?”

“I hate to say it or encourage either of you, but yes,” he sighed.

“This is going to hurt,” I uttered.

“Nah. We’re too high up. Impact will kill us instantly. Won’t feel a thing,” Cayde said looking down into the darkness of the shaft over his shoulder. “Unless we hit the sides on the way down. There’s always that.”

“Eeergh,” I groaned, then chuckled. “Let’s try to drop straight down so that doesn’t happen, okay?”

“And, if it does? You gonna shield me from as many hits as you can, all the way down?” He asked, smirking as I felt his hand settle on top of mine on the rung, his fingers lightly caressing between them.

“You know me too well,” I murmured, leaning my face closer to his, giving him a tender nuzzle as I hugged him a bit closer. I wouldn’t lie, ever since the prison, it was hard to not be a little over-protective of him, even knowing he could take care of himself. He softly chuckled and rested his forehead against mine, closing his eyes. 

He knew. 

He knew exactly how I felt and why. 

“You ready?” He whispered as I felt him sift sideways, taking one foot off of the rung below. I smiled and nodded, doing the same. 

“Still so weird … but nice,” he whispered.

“What’s that?” I murmured, feeling his fingers carefully work at mine, gently and slowly lifting each one away as he pressed tight against me.

“Someone lookin’ out for me. Well … lookin’ out for me the way you do. The devotion is … reassuring in a way I’ve never known.” He opened his eyes and looked into mine. “I’m glad you’re here with me for all-a this.”

“There’s no place else I ever want to be,” I told him.

His smile warmed and he gently pulled my last finger off the rung. As we both started to tilt we give ourselves a little push up and off the ladder so we fell straight down together, feet first, and wouldn’t hit the sides. 

It only took about five seconds before everything went black, but it felt like longer to me in a strange, dream-like way. I felt the rush of air all around us and Cayde’s arms strong and sure around me as we fell, my hair whipping up and around my head … but all I really knew in those few seconds were Cayde’s eyes looking back at mine and that warm smile on his face never wavering. 

 

When I woke up, Cayde was already sitting up beside me, waiting for me. “Welcome back, pal,” he smiled. 

I shook myself out of the resurrection daze and blinked my eyes back into proper focus, then sat up with a bit of a groan, tilting my head from side to side, getting the kinks out with a couple soft pops. “You okay?” He asked. 

I nodded. “You?”

He nodded, too, then gave Ghost a smile. “See? She’s fine,” Cayde told him as he got to his feet and offered me a hand up. 

“Were you worried I wouldn’t be?” I smirked, taking his hand, letting him pull me up.

“Me? Pffft. Naaah. Ghost was, though. Soooo worried.”

Ghost sighed and rolled his eye then gave Cayde a bit of a stern look. 

I arched an eyebrow at Ghost before I looked at Cayde, who’s expression became a bit sheepish. I smiled. “Soooo worried, hm?” 

“Okay, maybe I was a teensy worried when I saw I’d landed on top-a ya,” he said. “But you’re good, right?” He asked, rubbing my arms. 

I nodded, but sensed he really had been concerned. I supposed we both still had those lingering fears and triggers from a few months ago. Even though we knew we had Ghost, seeing the other die - and feeling it - neither of us could help the anxiety it caused. I was pretty sure it was going to be like that for a long time to come.

I leaned in close then, setting my hands on his chest as I did, and lowly whispered inside his hood into his left ear. “I kinda like it when you’re on top of me, though,” I purred, my smile becoming a grin, hoping it cheered him up. I heard a little surprised gasp from him and, when I leaned back, I noticed both his eyebrows had risen considerably, his mouth slightly agape, and felt a little excited sensation coming form him. I chuckled and gave his cheek a kiss, glad it seemed to have worked to distract him. “Come on, handsome,” I said, and tugged him out of the elevator shaft. 

 

We stepped out onto a short concrete landing that gave way to a set of stairs leading down to another room just below. It appeared this elevator shaft had only one purpose, and that was to go to this particular level alone. 

“This is the twentieth floor but it looks and sounds more like we’re in a subbasement,” I said as the first thing that registered with me was what sounded like strange echoing sounds from ventilation and occasional bangs from the pipes within the structure. 

“Well, technically, we are. We’re fifteen stories underground,” Cayde pointed out. “But, yeah, in its day, it wasn’t. Sure is built like it could’ve been, though.”

I nodded and noticed the walls on both sides of us were large, smooth, concrete cinderblocks, adorned with wide, horizontal stripes, painted in red. A large and slightly faded deep blue Clovis Bray ‘CB’ emblem was painted above a set of open sliding pressure doors at the bottom of the stairs and white pipes and tubes also lined the walls on either side of us with square air ducts affixed to the ceiling. A single old bar light was anchored between them, overhead, and gave off off a dingy, yellowy glow. 

Cayde pulled out his gun as we started down the steps and, despite a calm poker face, I could sense some anxiousness rising in him. I pulled my own gun out, just to be on the safe side, and hurried my pace just enough to get a little ahead of him so I could make sure we were safe. I didn’t think anyone or anything would be down here. Not after so long and with this part of the building having been buried for all that time as well. But it never hurt to be too careful where Clovis Bray was concerned.

“I think we’re all clear,” I told him, after looking around. Cayde gave a nod and re-holstered his cannon, as did I. That was when we both took a few moments to really look around and take in the room.

The first thing to really catch both of us were two huge red and gray tanks, one stationed on each side of the room as you stepped down into it, along with one massive white tank suspended from the ceiling in the center, with what looked to be either black cables or piping going to it. The words ‘Clovis Bray Exoscience’ were painted on the walls above on both sides over raised and railinged platforms that appeared to have, at one point, been desk areas where computers and other equipment had been set up and used but, now, most of it was gone. By the looks of the areas, everything had been cleaned out in a hurry and not by anyone who’d come in to strip and steal stuff after the Collapse. Things were gone, but nothing was destroyed by being yanked out where it could have been broken. Some pieces of equipment, though, had been deliberately destroyed - fried from the inside out, I’d noticed, looking at some blackened and singed console screens. Ghost came over to where I was looking over one of the consoles and scanned it.

“This system had a failsafe built in. It was triggered. A long time ago. Everything that was in it was burned away,” he said, then moved to scan another machine.

I turned to see where Cayde had gone and saw him not too far from me, crouched down to the floor, looking over some pieces of old yellowed and burned papers. I saw him frown as he picked some up, looking them over, then sigh and carelessly toss them back onto the floor. “Nothing useful?” I asked.

He shook his head and stood. “All junk or burned or faded. The writing’s gone.” 

I looked around at the litter on the floor as I came up beside him, noticing the way old paper cups, metal cans, and some food wrappers were in grouped piles, then looked around at some more of the fried equipment. “They did this, didn’t they?” I asked. “They destroyed their own lab and everything that was in here they couldn’t take out with them.”

He nodded and pointed to the cups, cans, and wrappers. “They were in here a while. Sealed in, I bet. But not for too long. There’s no bodies, no blood …” he looked around, “no signs of any struggles, and the elevators are all up, not down here.” He looked at me. “Betchya, when the Collapse happened, this was the safest room to be in.” He motioned to some large crates. “They’re empty. Probably extras. I’m thinkin’ they sealed themselves in and waited the worst out then, when help arrived, they packed up and took out everything they could, fried what they couldn’t, and took off to some underground bunker, or another planet all together.”

“Or moon,” I offered.

I saw his eyebrows twitch a little before he nodded. “Or moon.” He stepped away from me to go down into the center of the room where the tanks were and I followed, Ghost coming up beside me.

I frowned as soon as I saw the pipes going into the large red tanks on the floor. They were blue and white. I went over to the tank closest to me and looked the pipes over, noticing a small monitor and keypad affixed to the side of the tank. “Ghost, can you get anything out of that?” I asked him, pointing to it. 

Ghost floated down to the tiny keypad and started scanning it as Cayde came over. “What is it?”

“When we had you in the medlab, fixing you up, these same pipes were there. Blue and white,” I told him, tapping them with my fingers as I looked up at them and the tank. “Whatever the solution was that reactivated your body, it was a combination of a blue and white liquid. 

He blinked at me, as if he were processing that, then looked at the pipes. “That CAT-GEN-55?” He asked.

“I think so,” I nodded.

“Nothing," Ghost finally said. “This has been fried, too.”

I frowned. “Damn.” I looked up at the tank and noticed it was labeled. “3.4, H2, 6-LEV, MAIN IN,” I read out loud. I went over and checked the other tank and saw it read the same thing on the side. I looked around the room again, noticing smaller tanks against the walls, different than these. They were stacked, two and two, a top tank feeding into a bottom tank with processing units nearby. There were also three large, circular terminals with monitors and computer systems that fanned out at the back of the room. The two stations on the side seemed to control the tanks there while the central terminal brought everything together. I frowned and went over to the steps that came down into he center of the room and sat, looking around at everything, trying to piece it all together. 

After exploring with Ghost a bit more, Cayde came over and sat beside me, Ghost joining us. From the way Cayde was looking at me, I knew he could tell I was thinking, so he stayed quiet and just looked around the room. After a couple of minutes, I noticed him shiver then reach down to the side of his armor and adjust the temperature controls. I frowned and got up, moving to the step behind him and sat back down, wrapping myself around him, slipping my arms under his as he wordlessly leaned back into me, resting his own arms on my knees. “Are you cold, cold, or is it more an unsettled chill?” I quietly asked, sensing his uneasiness. 

“Y’know when you go into a place that isn’t necessarily bad but just has a vibe about it that sets you on edge? Where you just feel uncomfortable bein’ there?” 

I nodded. 

“That’s here,” he said. 

I rubbed his chest and felt him hug my legs in closer against his sides. I could feel the uneasiness more strongly now. It wasn’t anywhere near as strong as the feeling he’d had in the Ascendant Realm, but it was similar. It was that jittery, jumpy feeling, like he was just waiting for something to come out of the shadows. And I knew it wasn’t actually a fear of any _thing_ , it was a fear of what that thing could do. Cayde wasn’t afraid of people, Fallen, Cabal, Hive, or even Taken. Actually, he was relatively fearless in general. 

Save two things. 

One was being left all alone. The other was losing himself. 

Having his memories taken. 

And he knew Clovis Bray could do that. He didn’t fear them as people, he feared what they could _do_ and what they had done in the past. Especially to him.

Bottom line was, he was traumatized. He just couldn’t clearly or directly remember the things that had traumatized him. He knew of them through things his past selves had written and flashes of blurred dreams and nightmares that otherwise stayed locked away in a part of his mind that had been rendered inaccessible to him by a company and people who, in the long and short of it, forced him into servitude. 

Really, that was what it boiled down to. Or so I gathered from all the things I’d read his other selves had written. 

Once upon a time, in his human life, Cayde had been a solider of sorts. Exactly what kind, I wasn’t sure, and whether or not he’d thrived as one and got noticed or was kicked out for, well, being him, I didn’t know. I just knew, based on what he wrote, he was already well trained and skilled by the time he was working for Clovis Bray. And not doing things that were exactly good or lawful. Of course, one of the jobs he’d done had been at their request and resulted in some very expensive hull damage any idiot would know no average person would be able to afford. It seemed all too convenient, a man with Cayde’s skills, who otherwise likely would have turned down the offer to give up his human life for that of a man’s mind in a machine body, would find himself at such a crossroads. Where he could stay human and lose everything, or agree to become an Exo and have a clean slate. I had no doubt they saw what he could do and how valuable he could be for them, so they found a way to corner him and keep him forever. 

“Did ya figure it out?” I heard him ask, and I blinked myself out of my thoughts. 

“Figure it out?” 

He nodded. “You were lookin’ around the place, like you were trynna figure out what they were doin’ here.”

“Oh,” I nodded. “Yeah. Well … From what Ana found, my guess would be stuff from you know where, was brought here and this was a processing lab. The other place was where you were born but this …” I looked around, “this is where Exos were maintained. Updated. Treated.” I tilted my head to the side so I could look at his face. “They were constantly working out the DER issues and the stuff - that liquid that bought you back and reconnected things - it seems like it’s made you feel more.”

He gave a little nod and a shrug. “Mostly the cold, but yeah, I do have more sensation and taste. I’ve noticed it gradually getting stronger. Nothing big. No major change. But enough I know this body feels more and I can taste things a bit better.”

I nodded. “I … I don’t just mean physically,” I gently said and saw Ghost turn his attention to us out the corner of my eye.

“Oh,” Cayde uttered, then looked away, down toward his feet. “You mean, uh … the ups and downs?”

I nodded.

“Yeah,” he quietly murmured.

“Ana said there were counselors among the doctors and technicians part of the Exoscience program. And it makes sense. Going from a human body to an Exo body, especially in the early days, was traumatic. But … it looks like they found a way to upgrade some of the newer bodies. Like yours. When they went from being more than just machines.” He finally looked at me again. “Maybe you’re having a hard time because the changes are causing fluctuations as they balance themselves,” I offered. 

“Maybe,” Cayde nodded. “Or, maybe I’m just an emotional guy under all this handsome hardware,” he said, smiling a little.

I smiled, too, chuckling a bit, and nodded. “It’s possible,” I agreed. “But you have been through an awful lot in a short time.” 

I still felt guilty about that. That, despite saving Cyade’s life because it was the right thing to do - and the only thing anyone would ever consider for someone they love - that, somehow, I’d made his life harder. That I’d forced these difficult things onto him because I was, ultimately, selfish, wanting him back and damned the consequences at the time.

“Don’t,” he said, his voice unusually deep and stern, the features of his face hardening as I felt his hands jerk at my knees to pull me out of my thoughts. “Don’t you dare. I can feel what you’re feelin’, Ais, and I ain’t gonna have it. Yeah, coming back sent me on an emotional rollercoaster and the ride’s still goin’, but I’m here and I know you’re on it with me, holdin’ my hand when it gets to be too much. So don’t you dare beat yourself up for doing something outta love.”

I looked at him for a few beats, then sighed, closing my eyes, leaning my head against his. He returned the gesture and I hugged him a bit tighter, the two of us sitting together in contented silence for a while.

“So … you think this place processed that stuff from the other place and used it for updates and repairs on Exos?” He murmured, otherwise not moving. “This is where they - we - would come if we needed any work or maintenance done?

I gave a little nod. “Mm hmm. Not this room, but the lab up above, I think, may have been a place, if not _the _place, where memories were worked on … or erased. The equipment up there … including that one machine that’s the submind to Rasputin … ” I shook my head. “I wouldn’t be surprised if this is the place you wrote about being rebooted at. After that job on Venus.”__

__He lifted his head away from mine to look at me. “The stuff up there, though, except for that submind, it’s all destroyed, right?”_ _

__I nodded. “Yeah,” I softly said. “I’m sorry, sweetheart.”_ _

__He shook his head dismissively. “Good.”_ _

__I frowned, furrowing my eyebrows. “Good?” I asked, surprised by his response._ _

__He nodded. “Yeah. Good. Who I was - in all my lives … he’s long dead and gone, Ais. I’m me. Here with you. That’s all I want. That’s all that matters to me.”_ _

__I reached up and lovingly stroked the side of his face and kissed just beside his horn. “I love you so much, you know that?” I whispered._ _

__He twisted himself around on the step and put his arms around me, hugging me close as he pressed his face to the crux of my neck and shoulder. “I know,” he whispered. “I love you, too.”_ _

__I smiled and held him, idly rubbing his back, letting my eyes silently wander around the room for the next few minutes before Cayde spoke again, his voice muffled by my shoulder. “Y’know what just occurred to me?”_ _

__“What’s that?” I asked._ _

__“That elevator shaft is the only way outta here.”_ _

__I actually felt my expression flatten as I realized that meant the only way out was to _climb_ fifteen stories. “Shit.”_ _

__I felt Cayde’s body shaking with silent laughter._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, yeah, for those of you who may not know, haven't found it, or been there, this room in the Dust Palace really exists and you can get to it if you know how. Youtube has some vids on it about doing a mission but deviating from it and going to the Dust Palace instead to access it. You don't need to be on the mission to access it. I just put myself down on the patrol rout, went to the Palace and found the elevator then let the Psions kill me to have the game rez me in the room. But if you look up the 'Dust Palace Secret Exoscience Room' or 'Dust Palace Secret Room' in the YouTube search and follow how to get to the spot once inside, you should be able to access it.  
> Anyway, hope you enjoyed this one and a little more about my theories on Clovis Bray and Cayde, as well as a little more lore about Rasputin. I'll have more soon! :D


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A nice little conclusion to the last chapter. Up next ... Hopefully Hawthorne teaming up with Cayde, Ais, and others to get a little one up on Hideo! ;D

My arms and legs were like weak and shaking noodles by the time we made our way out of the elevator shaft. Despite all Ghost’s efforts, there was no repairing the controls to bring the lift down. Whoever had been here long ago had made sure everything to the lab was shut down.

Cayde had gone ahead of me up the ladder and, when I finally reached the top where we’d come in, he was waiting for me, hand out to help me up. I smiled at him and brushed some hair away from my sweaty brow and took his hand. Once I was out, I actually sat down, shaking out my arms and hands and stretching my legs. “I don’t think any time in the gym ever matched all that climbing. My arms and legs better look damn good after all that,” I uttered, catching my breath. He chuckled, looking a little winded, himself, and sat down beside me, then put his arm around my shoulders and coaxed me back to lay down with him for a few minutes, letting me use his arm as a pillow. Ghost checked us over and Cayde pet his stomach, inviting Ghost to settle down with us, which he did, Cayde laying his hand over Ghost, idly petting him. 

“I think I’m gonna bring up Guardians needing grappling hooks and some motorized zip line pulleys to Zavala again,” Cayde quietly said, catching his breath as well, bending his right leg and shifting himself against me more comfortably. I rolled a bit to my side and moved my head, laying it on his shoulder, feeling his arm curl around me more as I did. 

“They’d really come in handy in some places,” I nodded. “Sure, we can jump higher than non-Guardians, but even that’s limited. Grappling hooks with lift functions would be great for some things, especially something like this. How come Zavala never approved them before?”

“Resources and cost to have them made. And I gotta confess, I didn’t push it too hard. I just passed on the message from other Guardians who told me they could use ‘em. Guess I’d been in the Tower long enough I forgot how handy they really can be. Plus, I’d been used to usin’ ropes when really stuck. Never had the fancy gear. After today, though …” he nodded. “Definitely pushin’ for them.”

I smiled. “At least you thought to have a rope with you to help get us down to the ladder.

“Yeah, but it’s pretty useless for fifteen stories,” he said with a bit of a chuckle. “A grappling hook woulda been great to get back out. Just shoot it as far as it could go, let it pull us up, then shoot it up again. We’da been outta that shaft in no time and without noodle arms and legs.”

“Yeah. But then where would the excuse be to take a few minutes to lay like this?” I asked, my smile broadening. 

I felt him turn his head and kiss mine. “Don’t need an excuse for that,” he murmured. I felt a warm tingle all through me and I closed my eyes, snuggling up as close to him as I could, resting against him for a few more minutes.

 

Like Cayde was so fond of saying: It wasn’t the getting in, it was the gettin’ out. And getting out of the Exclusion Zone was a bit more tricky than getting in. Apparently the Cabal we’d taken out on our way to the Dust Palace had been reported back to their base and reinforcements had been sent in to find us.

“Okay, so, don’t think the usual’s gonna work here. Too many. I say we make a straight shot for the tunnel. Just open up and let ‘em have it,” Cayde said, peering out around the corner of the entrance to the Dust Palace. A Psion must have spotted him and tried firing at him. Cayde jerked his head back just as the shot grazed the metal of the wall right by his face, leaving a flash of sparks.

Cayde grabbed at his horn to make sure it was all still there, which it was. “Oh, ho. You’re first, pal,” Cayde uttered under his breath, then pulled out his sniper and peered back around the corner, taking aim. As soon as the Psion showed its head, Cayde fired, killing it. “That’s one!”

I smirked. “Feel better now?” I asked.

“They shot at my horn!” Cayde exclaimed, as if it had been a terrible affront against all Guardians everywhere. “And, uh, I believe I said that’s one. You’re already behind, gorgeous,” he told me, practically grinning, then put his helmet on and dashed out, firing. “Got ya!” He yelled, killing a Cabal just around the corner. “That’s two!” He took out another one. “Got you, too! That’s three!”

“Damn it,” I uttered. “Stop being such a show off!” I called, laughing as I rushed out firing, hurrying to catch up to him. 

Cayde practically cackled!

 

“So, who won?” Ghost asked when we regrouped on the other side of the tunnel just outside the Exclusion Zone.

“Two-hundred-thirty-six!” Cayde proudly exclaimed as he hopped off the back of the sparrow before I even fully brought it to a stop. 

“Well, looks like I’m buying, tonight,” I grinned at him, leaning over the handlebars. “Two-hundred-thirteen,” I said.

“Really?” He asked, sounding surprised. I couldn’t see his expression through his helmet. “I woulda sworn you had me beat when you took out that whole group up on the platform outside Building Five.”

“Came close but nope,” I shook my head. “You got me this time, handsome,” I smiled.

“I gotchya, huh?” He asked, stepping closer, leaning over, affectionately pressing the front of his helmet to mine. “Whaddeya say we even up the score a bit, hm? Scoot back,” he told me and motioned me to move back on the sparrow. When I did, he straddled the seat in front of me and I slipped my arms around his waist as I laid against his back. “How ‘bout we take a ride? Hone those firing skills of yours from a sparrow?” I grinned and pulled out my scout rifle, holding onto his waist more securely with my left arm. “Ya ready?” He asked, revving the sparrow. I nodded. “Remember, lead the target,” he told me.

I nodded again and Cayde released the clutch and sent us flying back over the dunes along the old trails in the opposite direction of the Exclusion Zone.

Of course, I did eventually end up making the same number of kills as Cayde by the end of the sparrow run but it didn’t look like I would at first. Took me a bit to get the feel for it. I really was terrible at hitting a target while moving so fast. And Cayde - being Cayde - shook things up a bit, literally, jerking the sparrow sometimes, on purpose. I think he sensed I was getting mad at him after a while, though, because, instead of laughing, he became more serious, going into mentor mode, and explained he was trying to teach me to anticipate things not always being smooth. And, while frustrating, I had to admit, he was right. I may have been a great shot on my feet in the middle of a fight, but on a sparrow … It was like I’d never fired a gun before. Keeping it steady, I was okay but the path wouldn’t always be smooth and I wouldn’t always get so lucky as to have little to no fire on me. I needed to learn to compensate quickly while keeping the target if I was going to get better at this. It wasn’t easy at all, either but, after a little more practice, I started to get the feel for it, even managing to get a couple Cabal with their shields up!

When we finished up and returned to the ship, Cayde pulled his helmet off and gave me a kiss. “I’m proud of you,” he murmured. “You got some Hunter in ya.” 

I smirked, wickedly, and made to say something, when he quickly put his finger over my lips, shushing me. “Heard it soon as I said it,” he chuckled. 

I laughed and put my arms around him. “Thanks, Firefly. You’re a damn good teacher, you know that?” I told him, affectionately tapping his horn. I was pretty sure, in no time, I’d be just as good on the sparrow as I was on my feet thanks to him.

“Aww,” he uttered, hugging me back. “So touched.” He sniffled, wiping at an imaginary tear. “Think I’m gonna cry,” he jokingly whimpered. 

I chuckled and shook my head, looking at him, caressing his cheek. “So you’re okay?” I asked. He’d seemed it but I just wanted to make sure.

“Me? Yeah,” he nodded. “You on the other hand …” he said, tapping the tip of my nose.

I frowned. “What about me?” I asked. I felt a pang in my chest. I hated focusing on myself. I didn’t know why, I was just always more comfortable taking care of him as opposed to being the one being taken care of. It was just who I was. I didn’t do well at all with vulnerability.

He gave me a knowing look and lightly trailed his finger along the side of my jaw. “Back in the lab. You still feel guilty,” he gently said as he watched his own finger move along the profile of my face. It wasn’t a question. It was a statement of fact and I resisted the urge to groan. “Why? You didn’t do anything wrong,” he said, shaking his head. “Why do you keep beating yourself up?”

I sighed and leaned against his chest, feeling him put his arms around me, slowly rocking us both back and forth. “I don’t like seeing you in pain. I don’t like knowing you’re hurting,” I told him. “And, please, don’t take what I’m saying to heart in a way that makes you want to try to hide those feelings. I don’t mean it that way and I don’t want you to do that. Ever. I just … I feel terrible that I didn’t think of that. I didn’t think of the after. That, once you woke up, you’d have to go through all that pain.”

He eased me back, holding my upper arms, giving them a squeeze, and looked at me pointedly. “Ais …” He frowned then nodded. “Yeah … it hurts. Not all the time, though. And I’m workin’ through it. I’ll always love her and miss her. Terribly. But the pain I’m goin’ through … you didn’t do that,” he said, shaking his head. “That’s on me. And, no matter what was used to reconnect my brain and body, I was still gonna go through that grief cause of what happened. But I’ll be okay,” he assured me. “And, you know what?” He asked, resting his forehead against mine. “I’d take all that pain, a thousand times over, to be right here with you,” he murmured. 

I felt my throat tighten and I swallowed with effort, my eyes stinging. I shook my head. “Dumbass,” I uttered with total affection, smiling, even though I was sniffling a bit.

He chuckled and nuzzled the tip of my nose with the little combed ridges of his own, making me scrunch up my face at the way it tickled, then he hugged me close once again, petting the back of my head, lovingly running his fingers through my hair. “So, this is what I’m thinkin’,” he murmured. “How ‘bout, we check in with Ana, let her know what we found, and pass that all on to Zavala and Ikora for the files, then we go home and take a nice hot bath - totally together, of course - and finish the night off on the couch with some ramen and a big bottle of wine while we watch a movie?”

I laughed. “Wow. You got that all laid out there, handsome,” I said, petting his chest. “One would think you were planning this well beforehand.”

“Mm. Maybe I was,” he cooed, kissing my forehead and rubbing my back. “So, whaddeya say? Sound good?”

The smile I already had only grew and I gave him a hug as I nodded. “Sounds perfect.” 

 

“It’s not all about what I woke up to, is it?” Cayde quietly asked as his warm, wet hands slowly slid up my back. “This guilt you’re feelin’.”

I sighed as I rested my folded arms on my knees and my cheek on my arms, taking in the warmth of the water all around us and Cayde sitting right being me, lightly massaging my back with a mix of the soothing bath water and some bath oil.

“Do we hafta have the ‘It’s okay for you to be the vulnerable one once in a while, nothing bad is gonna happen if you are' talk again?” He asked me, making me smile. I looked back at him and saw him tilt his head to the side to smile at me before he leaned forward and kissed my shoulder. 

“It’s hard to explain,” I quietly told him. “And I know you don’t blame me for anything, and there really was nothing I could have done, except what I did do.” I moved my head, resting my chin on my arms instead, staring straight ahead as Cayde continued to softly caress my back. “I guess the easiest way to explain it is just … like I said before - not liking seeing you hurting and having no way to … to take it on for you instead.”

I felt his hands still on my back. “Y-you’re saying you wish you could just … take all the bad feelings and grief away and feel it yourself instead of lettin’ me feel it? Like, literally take it all on yourself? And you feel guilty you can’t do that?” He asked, sounding a little incredulous. 

“I know it’s completely illogical and silly, but … yeah, that’s the long and short of it,” I nodded.

“Ais …” He sighed and leaned over my back, wrapping his arms over mine as he rested his forehead on the back of my shoulder. “I love you. I love your heart. Your willingness to do something like that for me. And it touches my own heart and … I ain’t good at finding the right words but just know it makes me feel _so_ loved - loved in a way I’ve _never_ known in this life or any of my memories.” He gave me a squeeze. “But,” he then said, “I’m a big boy. Been around a long time. I know life ain’t easy. Guardian or not. Lived it long enough to know shit gets real and gets hard. And bad things happen. They tear you up inside and leave marks - not all of ‘em visible. And, sometimes, they make you a bit tougher, while others …” He took a breath and let it out. “Some just leave a really big and nasty hole in your heart. And there’s nothing that can be done for that, ‘cept to just bear it each day after until it starts hurtin’ a bit less. And …” he sighed and lifted his head off my shoulder. “Believe me when I say I wish you’d been around when we lost Andal. I really do. I wouldn’t’ve been fun at all to be around, I know, but … I know you’da made it a hell of a lot easier. Would’ve made the pain a little less. Given me … given me someone to hold onto I just couldn’t do with anyone else back then. But I gotchya now. I know that. And I don’t want ya feelin’ guilty you can’t make the pain go away cause you have no idea - ” He swallowed. “If you hadn’t been here, I wouldn’t’ve made it. You brought me back. But, that aside, if I’d managed to somehow survive but without Sundance … Ais, it woulda broken me. I mean, _really_ broken me. You - and Ghost - not only saved me, but gave me my Light back. Gave me a family. Love me - unconditionally. And there’s - ” He sniffled a bit and took a careful breath, letting it out. “There’s no words I can think of that will _ever_ convey what that means to me.”

I turned around and kissed his lips as I slipped my own arms around him and held him. He sighed, relaxing, and leaned back in the tub, hugging me as he pulled me with him. “You do so much more than you realize,” he whispered. “You got no reason to feel guilty, so please don’t. I can handle the pain. I can handle it cause you’re here. And I’ll be alright cause you’re here. Okay?”

I nodded. “Okay,” I told him, letting go of the guilt.

He smiled and I affectionately rested my forehead against his as I rubbed his chest.

“Mmmmm. Y’know, I think the tub is even better than the couch or our bed for makin’ you talk,” Cayde playfully teased.

I snorted. “Well, you know, us Titans are naturally stubborn and tight-lipped. Takes something like some soothing hot water and skilled hands at our backs, giving us a nice massage, to get us to open up.”

“Oh! So you’re confirming, this is what I gotta do, huh?” Cayde chuckled. “You’re gonna be a prune, babe.” He wiggled his nose against the tip of mine. “I wanna know everything,” he whispered.

I laughed. “I don’t like being a prune but … foot massages help, too. You know … just offering that up,” I said, idly tracing the ridge of what made up his collarbone.

“Do they?” Cayde asked, leaning his head back, looking at me with a bit of a smirk.

I nodded. “And chocolate.”

His eyebrows rose. “Uh huh,” he nodded, then, as best he could as an Exo, practically grinned. “I take it back. You got A LOTTA Hunter in ya.”

I slyly grinned right back. “Well …” I cooed, lifting my hand to softly caress along the top and side of his head. “Not yet I don’t.”

He threw his head back and laughed and I took the opportunity to kiss under his chin and down along his throat, making him groan, both of us sinking down further into the hot, steamy water.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed! More soon!


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a lot of fun writing this chapter. I think I was just in a goofy mood. Whatever the case, though, hope you enjoy and more to come soon! -- Oh, and some of you may recognize a little mention to a phobia of Cyade's discussed on Tumblr. ;) . Had to put it in. It made for some added fun!

“How close?!” Cayde yelled from behind me over the loud whirring roar of the anti-grav transport engine and billowing rush of wind all around us. Gunfire whizzing by our heads made keeping my head up to see and navigate difficult and occasional grenade blasts on either side of us kept knocking the transport, forcing me to compensate as quickly as I could, leading to both a jarring and jerky ride.

I checked the console map on the dash, watching the tiny blinking arrow that was us move along the terrain, heading for the perimeter that surrounded the area a few miles just outside the Last City. “Still a mile out!” I called back, just as a grenade blast got a little too close, the force bouncing the transport up high on one side like we hit a hard and rough bump, nearly knocking Cayde over. I felt him grab at the back of my seat to steady himself just as one of the engines blew, black smoke and fire erupting to our right, that side of the transport drooping, forcing us to slow and pull in that direction as I did my best to compensate. “Damnit!” He hissed and I heard him put another round in his gun before firing. “Keep it steady as you can!” He told me. “Hawthorne! Where are you?! We’re down an engine and they’re close enough on our asses they need to be buyin’ us a drink!” 

“We’re almost to you - coming in hot on your left!” 

I heard the familiar growling sputter of a Pike come up beside us, the rider’s gun focused right on Cayde’s head, ready to fire. I gasped and grabbed Cayde by his scarf and yanked him down, just as the gun went off, narrowly missing him. I pulled his gun out of his hand and fired, taking the head right off a Vandal, sending it and its Pike spiraling, crashing into a tree in a ball of fire. 

Cayde sat up and looked off behind us where the Pike had crashed, then at me before I blindly handed him his gun back while I focused on weaving our transport around a few large rocks and more trees that had come up in front of us. “Told you you were a good teacher,” I smiled, then felt the transport start to really drop on the right as a bigger billow of black smoke came out of the engine. “Damn! We’re losing altitude and speed!” I told him, pulling on the steering wheel again as best I could, having a hell of a time getting the transport to respond properly. Part of the already damaged engine clipped one of the rocks and bounced us. Cayde fell into my lap, both of us grunting. “Hey there, fast-learner,” he sweetly said. “So, uh … you seein’ anyone? Maybe wanna go get some Ramen some time?” He casually asked just before both his eyebrows rose in surprise, his eyes focusing on something behind us. “Duck!” He yelled, and pushed my head down as he fired over me.

“Cayde, I can’t see!” I yelled, trying to peek around him under his arm as I yanked the steering wheel back the other way.

A loud explosion sounded behind us and I felt it lift our back end from the force.

“Cavalry’s here!” Cayde cheered, then gave my cheek a quick peck as he let me back up. “We’ll pick this up later, beautiful,” he cooed, making me smile, then hopped up and resumed firing, joining Hawthorne and the others in getting the last of the Fallen off our tail while I did my best to keep the transport steady until we could land it.

 

“The caravans made it safely,” I heard Hawthorne tell Cayde somewhere behind me as I looked over some rubble from one of the Pikes, along with a dead Fallen that was laying nearby. The others on our team were securing the area and putting out fires. As I checked over the Vandal’s body and collected its weapons, I found something unusual clutched in one of its hands and frowned. I crouched down and pried it from its fingers, looking it over, suddenly realizing what it was. “Cayde … Hawthorne …”

I heard them come up behind me and I stood, turning to face them. “Whatchya got?” Cayde asked and I handed him what I found. He looked it over for only a moment before his features flattened, his eyes narrowing. “Son of a bitch,” he uttered.

“Yeah,” I nodded.

“That a comm device?” Hawthorne asked, looking at what Cayde was holding. 

“Yup,” he answered, giving a nod. 

“Not Fallen?” She asked. 

He handed it to her. “No. It’s City made.”

She looked at it. “Are you saying … these Fallen were working with someone from the City?”

“These Fallen are the same ones who have been raiding the caravans the last couple months. We changed the route,” I said, shaking my head. “It’s too far away from the old one for them to have found us as fast as they did. Someone tipped them off.”

“But … how?” She asked. “I thought this was all top secret. No one outside of us, Zavala, and the caravan knowing. None of us would have tipped them off.” Then, I saw her features change as Cayde’s had. “Unless … Oh, shit.”

“Mmm hmm. Question is, who?” Cayde asked.

“We need the records of everyone who’s been part of the caravans for the last few months,” I said. “And cross-check any and all we find consistent with New Monarchy affiliation.”

“An inside job,” Hawthorn surmised.

“Wouldn’t be the first time someone did somethin’ like this,” Cayde nodded. “Kinda insulting, really. Least they could do is come up with somethin’ original. But, if it is New Monarchy … well, it’d make sense. Tip off Fallen where the caravans are comin’ in, raid ‘em, make it look like Guardians can’t handle it, then send in their own people to ‘save the day’. Makes New Monarchy look good, Guardians look bad. Makes Zavala look like he doesn’t have as good a handle on things - ”

“That _asshole_!” Hawthorne hissed.

“We don’t know for sure,” I reminded, not wanting her to get all worked up just yet.

“But we got one helluva good hunch,” Cayde pointed out. “Only problem is, if we are right, Hideo isn’t stupid enough to leave himself open to get caught. Too many variables. He’ll make sure his tracks are covered. And, with Fallen known for bein’ scavengers …” he said, glancing at me, knowing I knew what that meant.

I sighed. Cayde was right. “Yeah … Best way to catch them would be to not catch them.”

“Wait, what?” Hawthorne asked, looking at both Cayde and I like we were crazy.

Cayde held a hand up to her. “Not catch them right away,” he clarified. 

“You mean find out who it is and watch them?” She asked.

Cayde and I both nodded. “Why take the little fish when you can dangle it as bait for the bigger one?” I asked.

“You _sure_ you’re not a Hunter and Ghost just rezzed you with the wrong armor when you woke up?” He asked me.

I smirked and winked at him as Ghost gave Cayde a mildly scolding look. Cayde childishly returned it then stuck his tongue out at him, resulting in Ghost buzzing around Cayde’s head like a pesky fly, the two of them playfully fighting with each other.

“Your Ghost has gotten pretty close with Cayde, hasn’t he?” Hawthorne quietly asked as the two of them traded affectionate insults, Ghost playfully darting at Cayde. I nodded, snickering as I watched them. “Doesn’t Sundance get jealous?” She asked.

I stopped breathing for a moment, a sensation of mild dread washing over me at not being prepared for the question. Hawthorne didn’t know. No one knew, outside of Zavala, Ikora, Amanda, Ana, and Petra, and the doctors in the Tower who had cared for Cayde before we brought him to Enceladus. And they had been sworn to secrecy. Oddly enough, Cayde and I never really talked about what to say if someone asked where Sundance was.

Cayde stopped laughing and playing with Ghost, gently holding his hand up to him to still him, looking at me with concern. I gave him a careful look, then glanced at Hawthorne out the corner of my eye. “Um, no. She’s fine with it,” I nodded.

Hawthorne looked at me strangely. “Haven’t seen her in a while. This whole mission in fact,” she observed.

“Oh, hey,” Cayde called. “Before I forget, Ais, we need to make that, uh, call to Zavala,” he told me, interrupting Hawthorne’s prying. 

“Right,” I nodded, starting to head over to him.

“I already contacted Zavala about the caravans,” Hawthorne said. “Remember?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Cayde nodded. “This is about the other thing. And some official Vanguard stuff.”

She frowned at him. “Uh … Okaaay.”

Cayde smiled at me as he offered me his arm, moving us off to a more private area to talk, Ghost following along. 

“That was too close,” I quietly said once we were out of earshot. Cayde nodded.

“We keep doing missions like these, people are going to grow increasingly suspicious and likely find out,” Ghost cautioned.

“We do need to come up with what to say if people ask about her,” I nodded.

As we moved over behind some trees, Cayde sat down on the lower part of a large boulder and sighed, rubbing at his face as he rested his elbows on his knees. I moved over to the other side of him and sat, feeling him immediately lean against me. “I don’t mind if … if people know Sundance isn’t here anymore. I don’t mind if they know Ghost is now my Ghost, too,” he murmured. “It ain’t that. I just … I can’t take the pitying looks and the way I know they’ll walk on eggshells around me,” he said. “I don’t want to be seen as … broken.”

I nodded. “I know,” I softly said, putting my arm around him. “But you’re not broken, you know that?” I gently asked. “You’re as strong as I’ve ever known you to be. Maybe more so in some ways. Just because Sundance … had to go home, that doesn’t mean you’re less without her. She’s always a part of you.” I’d told him that many times. It seemed to help him whenever I said it. 

He was quiet for a few moments before he looked up at me, smiling a little, nodding. “And I got the two of you. She left me in good hands.”

I caressed his cheek, and leaned over, resting my head against his, feeling a wonderfully warm tingle between us. He tilted his head up and gave me a kiss, leaving me pleasantly surprised by his reaction. This was the first time we’d spoken of Sundance and he hadn’t shed a tear or gotten so down he couldn’t speak about her normally. I was so happy, I actually laughed a little. 

He smiled again. “Y’know, I like that,” he said, taking my hand, giving it a squeeze. “What ya said. The, uh, ‘went home’ thing. Can-can we use that insteada the … other thing?”

“Yeah, of course,” I murmured, nodding.

His features warmed even more and he gave me an affectionate nuzzle. “You’re really happy,” he observed, sensing what I was feeling.

I nodded again. “You’re doing better. You were able to talk about her and stay calm,” I said, curling my hand around his. 

“I did, didn’t I?” He noted, looking at me a bit surprised but also proud. He took a breath and let it out, glancing up at Ghost who gave him a nod before floating down, nuzzling Cayde’s horn.

“Hey,” I said, giving Ghost’s side a gentle poke. “How come you were never this affectionate with me?”

“I was,” he said. “You just prefer affection in a different way.”

“That sounded so wrong,” Cayde said.

I snorted and laughed. It really had!

“That’s not what I meant, Cayde,” Ghost sighed, rolling his eye before bopping himself against Cayde’s temple in the equivalent of slapping him upside the head.

“Ow! Hey! Don’t do that! You know I have severe PTSD from Eris throwing rocks at me!” Cayde mock whined. He didn’t, but he liked to make people think he did. I think it was a sort of run-on inside joke he had with Eris. Only … well … she didn’t joke. But I think it made Cayde feel a little better to have some kind of lighthearted connection with her as opposed to seeming animosity. She hadn’t forgiven him for losing her ship. I’d tried to mend that back when it happened, taking responsibility for it, but she didn’t seem interested in placing blame anywhere but with Cayde and Cayde had asked me to let it go, saying he was taking responsibility because it was his idea, then made me drop any protest. Aside from his joking about the ‘rock on his map’ and getting hit by a rock, he didn’t tend to bring up the ship. Deep down, I knew he felt guilty and bad for it, despite all of us knowing it was the best chance we’d had at getting on the Dreadnaught. At this point, though, I didn’t bring up the ship. The only thing it would do was make him feel bad and Traveler knew, Cayde didn’t need that. Instead, I laughed harder at his joking only to have him shove me off the boulder while he continued to sit there, snickering at me. I countered by grabbing the back of his ankle, wiggling my fingers and squeezing, tickling him mercilessly through his boot! He actually shrieked and made to grab at my hand only to fall off the boulder and land on top of me, both of us laughing uncontrollably at the silliness of it all!

I heard a rush of footsteps and we both looked back to see Hawthorne and a few others standing there, armed, apparently thinking we were in trouble before they realized what they were seeing and gaped at the two of us laying on the ground in a rather suggestive position before becoming a bit embarrassed that they’d seemingly interrupted something. 

“Vanguard call, huh?” Hawthorne asked, smirking, arching an eyebrow as she put the safety back on her rifle.

“It was a quick call,” Cayde nodded. 

“Right,” she said, giving him a rather skeptical look while the others continued to stare at us.

Cayde cleared his throat. “Hey, uh, y’all can stay if you want but this show ain’t free, so … ” He held out his hand and wiggled his fingers like he wanted to get paid. 

Nadiya started reaching into one of the small packs she had strapped to her hip, looking through whatever she had in there.

“A-are you actually lookin’ for cash?” Cayde asked, sounding surprised. 

“You said the show wasn’t free,” she said, pulling out a couple bank notes. “Twenty enough?”

“Twe - ?”Cayde arched a sharp metal eyebrow at her, then pulled out his gun, pulling the hammer back with a click. “Get outta here, ya pervs, I was joking!” He told all of them.

Everyone quickly scurried away as Cayde hollered after them: “And I’ll have you know, we’re worth at least a couple hundred!” I pressed my face into Cayde’s upper arm to stifle my laughter while he shook his head. “Twenty. I’m insulted,” he said as he turned his attention back to me, putting his gun back in his holster. I shook my head at him.

“What?” He asked.

“You are _awful_ ,” I said, snickering.

“Hmm. Yeah. I am, aren’t I?” He nodded, winking at me. “Think maybe they’d have actually coughed it up, though, if I’d dropped my pants?” He asked with a straight face, eyebrows rising in curiosity. I reached around and slapped his ass. He jumped, startled. “Oh-ho-ho! Wow! You get frisky when you’re out in the Wilds!” He exclaimed, then made the expression like he was grinning.

I grinned back and draped my arms around the back of his neck, giving him a kiss. “And you get more relaxed,” I murmured.

“Mmmm,” he cooed, nodding, running a couple of his glove-clad fingers through my hair. “The Wilds are a special place. Guess we’ll have to - ” He paused to give me another kiss. “ - come out here more often … won’t we?” 

Something suddenly came to mind and I grinned, tucking the idea away for later as I nodded. “Guess we’ll have to,” I said, then kissed him again.

 

Cayde and I both knew we couldn’t take things as far as we wanted to. Too many people close by but, more importantly, we had responsibilities to see to, not to mention reporting our suspicions to Zavala and Ikora for real. Of course, that didn’t stop us from exchanging what seemed like countless sweet-nothings whispered ever so tenderly in each others ears, accompanied by loving touches and caresses in between kisses. It was only a few minutes but I loved how time always seemed to stand still when we were together.

When we did rejoin the others, we finished clearing the area and traced our steps back where we’d started, collecting any weapons that the Fallen had dropped during the chase, as well as looking for any other evidence to back up our suspicions but found nothing except that one comm device. 

“So … stake out?” I asked Cayde as we secured the last of the weapon crates to Hawthorne’s transport.

He finished locking the clamps on the crates then crossed his arms and leaned against the side of the vehicle, looking me up and down. “Seriously, you’re sure you're not a Hunter just masquerading as a Titan?” He asked.

I frowned in thought. “Hmm. I don’t know. Are Hunters known for their physical strength?”

“Eh, we’re more on the sneaky and cunning side, putting speed and stealth above strength, but …” He stepped over to me and quickly stooped down, grabbing me up in his arms around my waist, lifting me up off the ground in a startled gasp. 

“Cayde!” I laughed, balancing myself by grabbing at his shoulders.

He chuckled and hugged me close as I draped my arms around the back of his neck and stared adoringly down into his aqua eyes. “Some of us are known to work out.”

“You’re an Exo,” I said. 

“So? I can’t work out?”

“One,” I said, holding up a finger, “I have never once, in all the time I’ve known you, seen you work out." I held up another finger. "Two: You’re. An. Exo,” I chuckled, tapping his horn. “You could work out all day and it wouldn’t change anything.”

“Sooooo … you’re sayin’ I can’t take credit for these amazing pecks of mine? Pffft. Buzzkill.” 

I smirked and relaxed into his arms even more, idly petting at the back of his hood with my fingers. “You don’t … happen to have a steamy little fantasy going on in that head of yours, do you?” I softly yet slyly purred. “About a handsome Exo … working out … shirtless … in a certain little gym under the Hanger … that maybe … a rather once tight-lipped Titan you may have a _tiny_ bit of a crush on frequents.” 

His eyebrows slowly rose. “This bond of ours … I didn’t get any of the mind reading abilities. I don’t think that’s fair. Why do you get the cool stuff?” He joked.

I grinned as I held my bottom lip between my teeth and trailed the backs of my fingers over his cheek. I just knew him too well. “Oh, but my sweet Firefly … you do have one really special ability I love.”

“I do? What’s that?” He asked.

My grin became rather sly and I waggled my eyebrows at him.

“Oh!” He whispered in excited surprise, both his eyebrows going as high as they could. “Well … maybe I could … demonstrate some of that _special_ ability later?” He rumbled in a low purr of his own before kissing me.

“And maybe I - ” I purred, between kisses, “could demonstrate these tight lips on you?”

He sucked in a little quivering breath and shivered then moaned as he kissed me again.

We heard a throat clear and both of us paused, mid-kiss, and glanced sideways to see Hawthorne standing there, arms crossed. 

“How do you two get anything done?” She asked.

“Well, uh,” Cayde mumbled against my lips. “W-we’re usually not interrupted,” he attempted to say, sounding a bit like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

She arched an eyebrow and stepped aside, revealing the rest of our Fireteam all standing around, watching us.

Oh,” Cayde uttered easing me down onto my feet as I did my best not to blush. “So … you all were watching us? And listening in? This whole time?” He asked them.

Everyone nodded.

“Ah. Right,” Cayde nodded. “That story about the gym - any of you utter a word, they’ll never find your bodies. And you all owe us money.”

 

The small fire at the camp Hawthorn, Jin, Nadiya, and a couple scouts from the Farm had set up looked cozy and warm while they all sat around it, roasting a couple wild rabbits while trading stories.

Or so Cayde whispered to me while he laid on his stomach beside me, looking through the scope atop his sniper rifle from where we sat on a ridge above the main area where we’d taken out the Fallen.

“You’re supposed to be watching over here, handsome,” I quietly told him, smirking as I looked through my own scope, surveying the area like a good and diligent Hunter should.

“Yeah, yeah. Ooooh, is that a sweet cherry glaze? Mmmm. I hope they save me some,” Cayde muttered.

“Those poor bunnies,” I sadly uttered.

“Poor bun -? It’s the Wilds, baby. It’s the way of the land out here. Sometimes you gotta do the tough stuff to sur - ” He stopped when he glanced over at me and saw the cheeky expression I must have had. He scrunched up his face and stuck his tongue out at me. “I’m not sharin’ with you when we get back,” he said, then went back to looking through his scope.

I snerked and went back to surveying the area.

After another hour, the half moon was high in the sky, casting a bit of light over the valley below us. I yawned, stretching a bit before blinking and rubbing at my eyes to try and stay awake and focused. It had been a long day. “Wish we could have brought some coffee,” I murmured. I felt Cayde scoot closer to me until he was pressed up against my side. 

“You can rest if you want,” he whispered. “I can keep an eye on things.”

I smiled at his chivalry and affectionately bumped my shoulder to his. “Thank you, love, but I’m okay,” I assured. 

I heard him shift. “Love?” He murmured.

“Yeah?” I asked, as I scanned down along the trail with my scope, focusing mostly on where the Pikes had been destroyed.

“No, I-I mean … you just called me ‘love’.”

I blinked and glanced over at him, seeing his eyes softly glowing right back at me curiously. Honestly, it had just slipped out naturally. I didn’t know what to say, so I shrugged, smiling. He smiled back. “So … Firefly, sweetheart, handsome, love … You got a lotta names for me.” He went back to looking through his scope. “Feel kinda bad I only call you beautiful.”

“I like that you call me beautiful,” I murmured with a smile, feeling a giddy tingle.

“Mmm. But I feel like I should come up with something more … special. Like … cupcake.”

I slowly looked over at him.

He hesitantly glanced back over at me. “You … don’t like cupcake?”

I leaned close to him. “You ever call me ‘cupcake’, especially in public, I’ll spank you. And it won’t be for fun,” I whisper-purred in a sweetly threatening way.

His eyes widened and he shuddered, making me smile even more broadly before I went back to looking through my scope. “H-have you been reading my books?” He asked, sounding scandalized.

I pressed my lips together even as the muscles in my face forced me to smile against every last bit of will I had.

He gasped. “You have!” He whisper-hissed. “We were gonna read those together!”

“I couldn’t resist. I got curious and just checked out a couple pages,” I whispered back. “I wanted to know … what might get you going.” I heard him suck in a bit of a breath as he was about to respond, and I cut him off. “If you say cupcakes, I will shoot you,” I told him. I heard the soft clink of his metallic lips clamp shut. “Mmmm,” I nodded, giving him a wink.

“You wouldn’t really shoot me,” he muttered, looking back through his scope. 

“I’ll put a snake in your boot,” I countered.

He loudly gasped and I glanced over at him, his eyes huge and mouth hanging open. I could sense he was mildly scared, but more amused. He knew I’d never do that for real because I knew he did have a genuine phobia of them. It was why he wore the legwarmers. Too many times, while living in the Wilds had resulted in a few crawling up his pants legs. “You do,” he hissed, pointing a finger at me, “and I’ll fill your pillowcase full of spiders!” He countered. 

I looked over at him, feeling myself pale at the mention of my own phobia. “How … ?”

“Oh, yeah, yeah. I know about that fear of yours,” he told me. “You think I didn’t? You talk in your sleep,” he nodded.

“When did I talk about spiders in my sleep?” I asked, frowning. That had been a secret I’d tried to keep. I felt silly being a Guardian and being afraid of a tiny spider.

“A while back and, I gotta admit, I don’t know why you don’t like ‘em. You can’t stand all the mosquitos in the summer and they take care of ‘em,” he pointed out.

“Nothing needs that many legs!” I hissed.

He blinked at me, then lost his composure and snorted, dropping his head to the butt of his rifle and snickered, shoulders shaking. I smirked at his reaction, then started chuckling along with him, affectionately bumping his side with mine, shaking my head. “Oh, Traveler, we are such dorks,” I uttered.

He nodded, still snickering.

“I love you,” I murmured, amused, pressing a kiss to his shoulder.

“Love you, too,” he murmured back as I looked back out my scope. “Cupcake,” he added under his breath.

I twisted around and slapped his ass. Hard.

He jumped and stiffened, sucking in a shocked and strangled breath, not moving, his eyes huge, mouth agape. “Oooh, that’s gonna leave a mark,” he wheezed, sounding like someone who had a severe sunburn that just got smacked.

“I warned you,” I told him, going back to surveying the valley.

“That was so hot,” he added, wheezing again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See? Goofy. But fun. I think they needed this and I hope I made you all smile. Working on Chapter 20. :)


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little in between moment with Cayde and Ais. Not sure what sparked this line of conversation with them, but I enjoyed writing it!

“And you’re sure the comm device you found is City made?” Zavala asked over the radio.

“No question,” Cayde said, actually looking the device over, turning it over in his hand, as he leaned his hip against the table the small radio was sitting on while talking to Zavala. We were in our own private room at what was once a two-story stone cottage-style home with a small barn attached, not far from the valley we’d diverted the caravan through and had been watching all night. It was similar to the Farm out in the EDZ, only smaller and more secluded in the forest. The structure was also in better shape than the house at the Farm, this house having been made into an inn of sorts where both Guardians and Scouts tended to stay while out here. The rooms were furnished and the kitchen and bathrooms had running water. A group of civilians also lived here year-round and took care of the place, as well as saw to the gardens and animals, just like was done at the Farm. They also prepared meals for whoever came to stay for a night or two.

While Cayde spoke to Zavala, I peeled off my under armor and laid it out on a chair, Ghost having already stored my outer armor. As I padded by Cayde on my way to the small bathroom to get washed up, he leaned over and pressed a soft kiss to my temple. I smiled at him and lovingly pet his stomach, leaving him to continue talking to Zavala.

“We’re gonna keep an eye on the area for one more night,” I heard him say as I splashed some cool water onto my face. “See if whoever’s playin’ best buds with the Fallen shows up to look over the wreckage. Got a feelin’ they might, just to make sure nothin’ was left behind that might’ve tipped us off. Too late, of course, but you never know.”

“You think it’s someone with the caravan itself?” Zavala asked.

“Best bet?” Cayde asked. “I’d put my glimmer on someone who’s with the caravan, yeah, but who also has ties to New Monarchy.”

“You know, even if you’re correct in your assumptions, there’s no way Hideo would ever leave any trace back to himself,” Zavala said in a way that suggested this wasn’t the first time something like this had happened but led to nowhere. 

“Yeah,” Cayde sighed, and I heard a light clunk that sounded like he’d casually tossed the comm device onto the table. “Son-of-a-bitch is slipperier than a slime covered Hive worm.”

Zavala sighed. “Indeed. Ikora already has a couple of her Hidden watching New Monarchy. Has had them in place for a while now with nothing out of the ordinary to report. If they are behind this, they’re being extra careful. I’ll see to it the people with the Caravan are watched as well. If her agents notice anything, they’re report back to her. It’s possible we may not get to him but we’ll certainly see to it whatever he had planned falls through.”

“This is startin’ to feel a bit like Concordat. Ironically enough, it was New Monarchy who put a stop to ‘em,” Cayde said. 

“Yes,” Zavala lowly rumbled, sounding like he was in thought as he said that. 

“You thinkin’ what I’m thinkin’, Big Guy?”

“It would be a stretch, Cayde,” Zavala said. “But not entirely unthinkable.”Mm,” Cayde grunted. “Well, we’re gonna get some rest. Like I said, we’ll check the area out one more time tonight. Got some Scouts watching it now, though. Either way, we’ll be back tomorrow.”

“Very well. We’ll contact you if we learn anything on our end,” Zavala said. 

“Right,” Cayde replied. “See ya tomorrow, Big Guy.”

I heard him end the transmission then start shuffling around, getting out of his own armor as I dried my face and changed into a sleep shirt before going back out into the bedroom. “What’s Concordat?” I asked Cayde as he sat down in a chair, unclipping his knee and shin pads, having already taken off his cloak and weapon holsters, draping them over the back. He looked up at me as I came over to him then crouched down in front of him, taking over getting them off for him, before helping him with his leg warmers. 

“They were a fourth Faction,” he said as he leaned back in the chair, letting me help. “You know when you go into Bannerfall for some of the Crucible matches?” I nodded, setting his leg warmers aside before easing his pant leg up to take off his boot, lightly massaging his calf in the process. “You ever notice some black flags layin’ around? Got a green circle on ‘em with green rectangles and squares inside?” He asked, his eyelids drooping a bit at the feel of my hands.

I nodded. “Yeah, I noticed them,” I murmured. “Never really thought much of them, considering I was spending more time trying not to get shot,” I smirked.

He smirked back. “That’s Concordat. They were a Faction lead by a guy named Lysander. Never met him,” he said, shaking his head. “Before my time in the City and at the Tower. But, apparently, not long after Twilight Gap, he and his Faction tried to get control over the Consensus and then take over the City. Got exiled and the Faction was disbanded. That’s why Bannerfall is called Bannerfall. It’s where they fought New Monarchy and lost.”

“So … New Monarchy were the good guys in that case?” I asked, surprised as I gently pulled Cayde’s boots off before rubbing his feet. 

He nodded. “New Monarchy isn’t really a bad Faction, Ais. Don’t get that impression. They’re a balance to the other Factions and give insight into a specific part of the Consensus. They were created to help lead the City back into a new Golden Age. They were meant to offer hope in that way, just like Future War Cult was meant to prepare us for any war to come and keep the City apprised of all means of defense, and Dead Orbit - even if a bit self-defeating - was meant to have us ready if all else failed and we had no choice but to leave. Over the centuries, though, it’s all become muddled in politics and infighting.” 

I looked up at him, feeling like I was, in a way, seeing and hearing a completely different man. But I knew I wasn’t. It was just a part of him he didn’t let anyone else really see. That part of him that was far smarter than anyone ever gave him credit for. That side that knew how to read a room and who really did understand the complicated workings of the City and its government. This was the side I was sure both Zavala and Ikora knew was in there and maybe had seen pieces of over the years - the side that reassured them Cayde really could handle being a Vanguard, and that he wasn’t just standing in for Andal out of honor and love for his brother. I smiled to myself, both impressed and, in a strange way, newly fascinated with him as well as humbled. I did know a lot for someone so young and new to being a Guardian. Things came easy to me. Things, perhaps, from a past life, that just gave me understanding in a lot of areas. But it was moments like this where Cayde really showed me something I had yet to fully come into. Life experience in this world. There were things I could do and things I could understand but some things - like the way the government ran and people he’d been surrounded by and came to know over the years worked - I could only learn through him and through time, just as he had. 

“Hideo is a slimbeball,” he continued, as if I hadn’t had a moment, although I was pretty sure he’d sensed I had, but just decided to let me have it without making a big deal out of it. “He touts once bein’ a poor boy who got lucky and made a few good decisions that got him some money. But … I’ve known a lotta poor people in my time. A lotta poor people who suffered and who had nothin’. Just the clothes on their backs and whatever they could scrounge up to eat to make it though another day. Some managed to get themselves outta that. And it’s really, really rare for someone who grew up poor in the City, or the Outskirts and Wilds - who rose to wealth - to not have some kind of sympathy, care, or understanding for others in that position. He’s fulla shit. He’s never felt what it’s like to be hungry, or cold, or alone. He’s only ever wondered about the next day, not if there will _be_ a next day. And … yeah, I’m an Exo. Even before things changed, I could feel hunger - same as I do now - but the way this body is set up, after a while, it … seems to divert that sensation. Like, it tells my human consciousness I don’t need food, so don’t worry about it, and my brain just starts to agree and I feel fine. But people - ” He shook his head and his voice grew a little quieter, a little sadder. “I’ve … listened to little kids cry until they couldn’t anymore, cause they were so hungry. And me an’ my crew, if we ever came across people like that, we did whatever we could to help ‘em. So … I know. Not personally, but I’ve been around it enough to know. And he ain’t never been there. He cares about money. He cares about power,” he shook his head. “Not about the people. Unless they’re useful to him. But New Monarchy, itself, ain’t bad. And the people who are part of it ain’t all bad. Just remember that, okay?”

I offered a little smile and nodded then stood up on my knees and eased between his legs and wrapped my arms around his middle, laying my head on his chest. I was a mix of so many emotions just then, the top ones being love for the kindness he truly had in his heart for others, pride in what a good man he was, and surprise at seeing and hearing the part of him that was far wiser and more collected and serious than he’d ever let on or showed me before. I heard him pull off his glove and felt fingers at the back of my head, slowly combing through my hair before he softly chuckled. “Not usta that side of me, are ya?” He murmured.

I shook my head. “Knew it was in there somewhere and knew it came out when really needed,” I whispered. “It’s just … interesting seeing that side of you. Paints a whole new picture of you in my mind.”

“A new picture of me in your mind? You can see me right here. What do you mean in your mind?” He quietly asked, still slowly petting the back of my head.

“There’s you … as an Exo. The man I know. But there’s also the you I wonder about. From before,” I quietly said. “This image that forms in my head every time I step back and put everything I know about you together. All the journal entries and stories, pieces of your personality … all those things.”

“You mean me as a human?” He asked.

I nodded. 

“You wonder what I looked like and what I was like as a man? Before everything changed?” He asked.

“Sometimes,” I admitted, nodding.

“What do you see?” He asked.

I closed my eyes and slowly breathed deep, taking in the heady scent of the leather of his chest armor, mingled with the scent of gunpowder and his cologne, then carefully let the breath out. “I see … A man similar to your build … lean but fit. You’re wearing … maybe military clothing … or something similar. Definitely a soldier. You got short hair but it’s a little long on the top and kind of wild. Like …” I smirked, “like you have to have a specific regulation haircut but, just to defy the higher-ups, you leave it a bit long and wild on purpose to annoy them.” I felt his body jerk as he snorted, chuckling a bit. “And … it’s brown but … has some red highlights in it. Fits your fiery personality.”

“I think you mentioned that before,” he murmured.

I nodded. “Some scruff to go with it, too. I can’t imagine you completely clean-shaven. You like being rugged. Bit of a bad boy.” He chuckled again. “And blue eyes,” I added. “But warm. Not cold. Just these really big, beautiful, warm, blue eyes you could get lost in, like I do now.” I felt him shift and lean forward, kissing the top of my head as he moved his hand to put his arm around my shoulders, giving me a hug. I hugged him back.

“That’s quite a description,” he whispered.

I nodded. “Do you ever think about what you looked like?” I asked.

“Sometimes,” he murmured, nodding. “But it’s hard. Not in an emotional way. I’m just usta this face whenever I look in a mirror. I really can’t imagine another face after all this time.”

“Well … technically … you’ve been an Exo longer than you were ever a human at this point, right?”

He nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, this has been my body longer than the one I was born with.”

“If you could go back to a human body - even that one - would you?” I asked.

I felt a strange indecisiveness within him and lifted my head to look at him. He looked back at me, frowning. “I don’t know, Ais,” he finally said. “Would you want me to?”

“That’s not what I asked,” I said, shaking my head. “I want to know what you would want.”

He went quiet for a while longer, looking off at nothing in particular as he thought about it before his eyes found mine again. He stared into them for a while then finally shook his head. “I don’t think so. Not … not for lack of wanting to be human again … I just … I’ve been this for so long … I know me this way. I think if I went back into a human body it would be … weird. Overstimulating. It’d feel alien and … squishy.”

“Squishy?” I asked, actually snorting as I laughed.

“Yeah,” he nodded, smirking. “I’m usta bein’ … hard and horny,” he said, reaching up, touching his horn.

I burst out laughing, pressing my face against his chest. “Traveler, Cayde!”

He laughed, too, hugging me.

“You are just … terrible!” I told him, laughing even more.

He laughed harder, pressing a kiss to the side of my head. “You like it,” he said.

“I do,” I nodded, lifting my head, wiping at my eyes. He’d had me laughing so hard I had tears running down my cheeks! 

“Seriously, though,” he said, “what would you want, Ais?”

My smile faded some at the seriousness of the question, but didn’t totally leave my face. I reached up and stroked his cheeks as I looked into his eyes. “Unconditional, Firefly, remember? No matter what you are, I love you. I love Cayde. Doesn’t matter what body you have,” I told him. “But …” I added, placing a finger over his lips as I knew he was about to say something. “I will be honest and say, this is the body I also know. And … I like that you’re hard and horny, too,” I wickedly grinned.

He arched an eyebrow at me. “You have no idea,” he rumbled, then grabbed me up in his arms and lifted me over to the bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More soon!


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one's a bit more of a serious chapter. Cayde and Ais have a little discussion. But it has it's cute and sweet moments, don't worry. :)

We ended up going back to the Tower empty handed the following night. No one had come back through the valley and we were all a little discouraged by that, especially Hawthorne who really had hoped to get something on Hideo. But, Cayde, ever the optimist, did remind us that the most important thing was that we’d gotten the caravan with the badly needed supplies for the City through safely. We’d also managed to do it without New Monarchy directly interfering and that cheered Hawthorne some. As for the comm device, Cayde handed it over to Zavala who was going to have it analyzed while Hawthorne was also going to keep an eye on Hideo, as well as who was coming and going from New Monarchy’s place in the Bazaar since she was nearby. Ikora also had a couple of her Hidden monitoring the people who were part of the caravan, watching for anything suspicious. With all the points covered, all we could do was wait and hope someone tripped up and gave us something more to go on.

 

With nothing more we could do on that front for the time being, Cayde and I settled back into our usual routines as the Dawning Celebrations neared. We handled missions together and I helped him with going over his Scout reports and drawing up maps for the Hunters. With the state of our joined Light, though, Zavala and Ikora, as well as Shaxx, all agreed it would be best to hold off on going into the Crucible together for now. Of course, that didn’t mean we couldn’t go in separately and vigorously cheer each other on! It actually became a favorite thing of mine over the next couple of weeks, to watch Cayde in the Crucible. All the stories were true. Cayde was sneaky and vicious as hell! And so damn fast! It was impressive to watch! I didn’t often get the chance to just watch him without being distracted, trying to keep from getting shot, myself. So it was a real treat and I could sense Cayde was having fun impressing me, knowing I was watching. I could also sense that Cayde was having a great deal of fun annoying the hell out of Shaxx. I smirked and swore I could hear my fellow Titan’s teeth grinding under his helmet every time Cayde drew his Golden Gun. 

I’d heard the dodgeball story told from a few points of view. From Cayde, of course, who’d gloated and spoke of how amazing he’d been and beat Shaxx fair and square. From Shaxx, who swore it all came down to a tactical error and he would have beat Cayde if not for that, and, of course, from a couple of the former children who Shaxx had to train in dodgeball as part of losing the bet. They were old now, but still spoke fondly of Shaxx and remembered meeting Cayde, but didn’t have much to say about him, since he hadn’t hung around while Shaxx trained them. 

In between missions and Crucible matches, we checked in with Petra and brought supplies to the Dreaming City to help out both the Guardians and Corsairs there, as well as helped clear out some of the Taken, Hive, and Scorn that we came across. And, back home, we helped out with the final touches to a couple of the districts being rebuilt in the City . While there, I took Cayde to visit one of the families I’d helped get back on their feet at the beginning of the reconstruction, wanting to see how they were doing. They were a sweet young couple, Bridget and Andrew who owned a pottery shop and had an adorable little girl named Annabelle who had just turned five. They’d lost everything when the Cabal attacked the City, but had just been so grateful to be alive and together.

Cayde and I were warmly welcomed into their home by Bridget. Andrew was out, but we were offered tea and sat at the kitchen table with her and chatted for a while before Annabelle ran over to me, having woken up from her nap, her little blonde pigtails bobbing all the way. She gave me a big hug as I crouched down to her level. “Hi Belly!” I said as I hugged her back. 

“You’re soft today,” Annabelle said, pushing against my chest with her finger, noting I was wearing civilian clothing.

I chuckled and nodded. “No armor today,” I told her, then looked at what she was holding. “Who’s this?” I asked her, giving a gentle tug to the ear of the handmade teddybear she was lovingly cradling in her arm. 

She held it up to me so I could see it more clearly, it’s button-jointed arms and legs flopping a little. “This is Baloo!” She happy exclaimed with a bit of a lisp to her words. “He sings and dances, and likes to eat perkly-pears!”

“ _Prickly_ -pears, Belly,” her mother gently corrected with a smile. “We read her The Jungle Book a while back,” Bridget explained. “She liked the bear character, Baloo, so I - ”

“So mama made me Baloo!” She cheered, holding him up again, bouncing a little. “He’s my baby,” she proudly proclaimed and lovingly held the bear back against her chest, hugging it as she twisted back and forth.

I studied the bear. “Hmmm,” I said, looking him over. “Sweet eyes, adorable face, cute little button nose … Yup. He looks just like you,” I told her, making her blush a bit and grin. Her big brown eyes then left me and slowly and shyly looked up toward Cayde who was still sitting in the chair at the table beside me looking down at her. “Who’s that?” she whispered to me, pointing over at him.

I smiled. “That’s Cayde,” I said as Cayde got up and came over, crouching down beside me to greet her. 

“Hey, little one,” he said, holding his hand out to her. She shied away from him a bit, hiding her face behind her teddybear. 

“It’s okay. He’s really nice,” I assured her, setting my hand on Cayde’s shoulder. She peeked out from behind the bear and looked Cayde over a little more before she cautiously reached out and carefully curled her little hand around a couple of his fingers. Cayde’s features turned up in a smile as he shook her hand. “Nice to meetchya,” he said.

“You have a horn on your head,” Annabelle said looking up at it in slight awe.

I snorted, covering my mouth. “Belly …” her mother chided. 

“You’re an Exo,” Annabelle continued, as if her mother hadn’t chided her.

“Mm hmm,” Cayde nodded. 

“Are you a Guardian like Aislin?” She asked, saying ‘Guardian’ slowly so as to pronounce it properly.

“Yes, I am,” Cayde nodded again. “I’m a Hunter. Aislin and I work together.”

“My friend Coby’s daddy’s an Exo.” She shook her head. “He doesn’t have a horn, though. He gots two looooong ears,” she said, and tucked her bear in the crook of her arm as she brought her hands up to her ears, fisting them and pointing her index fingers straight up.

I looked at Bridget questioningly and she smiled a little. “Elaina, a friend of ours, her husband …” She pressed her lips together, choosing her words carefully because Annabelle was present. “Fallen. While he was out beyond the walls. She married Tavis-9 a couple years ago. Very nice man. Adores Coby.”

I smiled and nodded. 

“Do you gots babies?” Annabelle asked Cayde.

I felt that question take Cayde off guard and strike a place in his heart. He cleared his throat and shook his head. “No,” he quietly answered. 

“Oh,” Annabelle simply said. “Wanna come play with me?” She hopefully asked. “I gots blocks an’ more stuffies! You can have one, too!”

Cayde blinked like he didn’t know how to answer that and I pet his knee as I smiled at Annabelle. “Actually, we have to get going. We have Lots more to do today. We just wanted to stop in and say hi,” I told her.

Annabelle looked a little disappointed. “I’ll play next time,” Cayde whispered to her, winking, and she perked up. “Okay!” She cheered, then gave him a quick hug and ran off to the other room.

I glanced over at Cayde, sensing how he was feeling, but his face and demeanor were hiding it. He smiled at Bridget. “Cute kid,” he told her as he stood.

Bridget smiled. “Thank you. Sorry if she came off little forward with you.”

Cayde shook his head, waiving his hand. “She was fine,” he assured her.

“I’m sorry Andy isn’t here,” Bridget added. “He had to get some glazes for the pieces he has drying. Takes him a while sometimes. He always needs to find that perfect color. But I’ll tell him you stopped by.” 

I nodded and smiled at her. “We’ll stop in again soon,” I assured. 

“He’d like that. I’m sure he’ll proudly take you all around the new shop,” she said, smiling back at us. "It was nice to meet you, Cayde."

"You, too," Cayde nodded, shaking her hand. 

 

As we made our way back to the Tower, I leaned over toward Cayde. “I’m so sorry,” I said, slipping my arm around his waist as we walked. “I had no idea she’d ask something like that.”

Cayde looked over at me, eyebrows rising. “The babies thing?”

I nodded.

“Oh, pfft,” he waved it off. “It’s okay, Ais. Not your fault. You couldn’t have known. Kids that age have no filters. They don’t know.”

“Still, I’m sorry. I felt that hit you.” I really did feel bad.

He leaned over and kissed my temple as we walked, putting his arm around my shoulders. “It did. But I don’t even know if I really did have a kid or kids or if Ace was real or my son,” he reminded me. “It’s a name in a book another me wrote. I just … made it into something more to help me get through. And, real or not, yeah, he’s still special to me. But I’m okay. Really.”

I nodded but gave his waist a gentle squeeze. We walked together quietly for a while before I heard him tap his lips together a couple times before he glanced over at me. I returned the look. “What?” I softly asked.

“Do you ever … um … think about kids?” He carefully asked.

“You mean having them?” I asked, frowning.

“Well, no, not having them. I know you can’t.” He immediately winced. “Sorry, that-that sounded … insensitive. I just meant, Guardians can’t have kids, I know that. I just … wondered if you ever … thought about it.”

I rubbed his back, knowing he meant no harm in the way he’d said what he did. It was fact. “Honestly? Not really,” I answered. “But …” I sighed and frowned. “It’s complicated, Cayde.” I saw him, out the corner of my eye, looking at me, waiting. I sighed again and stopped walking so I could give him my full attention. He looked at me, his aqua eyes searching my face. I opened my mouth, then closed it, frowning. “Can we talk about this at home?” I asked.

He looked back and forth at my eyes then nodded. “Yeah.” He pressed a kiss to my forehead and hugged my shoulders, rubbing my upper arm before we resumed walking.

We were almost to the gates that led into the Tower base when Cayde detoured us, going down a little side street. “Where are we going?” I asked. 

He winked at me and smiled but said nothing as he led me to a little sweet shop. “Wait here,” he said and disappeared inside for a couple minutes. When he came back out, he had a little brown paper bag in his hand and gave it to me before putting his arm back around me and turning us around to head back to the gates. I looked at him curiously then opened the bag to see it had four large chocolate truffles inside. I smiled as I looked over at him.

“I know whatever you want to talk to me about’s got ya a little … well, not sad, but … anyway, thought they’d cheer you up.”

I gave his cheek a kiss. “Thank you.”

He smiled back.

 

“Okay, so what up?” Cayde asked as we settled in on the couch. Cayde insisted on taking my usual spot and sat behind me, cuddling me back against his chest while we shared a hot cup of coffee he’d made. I offered him a truffle and he declined. “Those are for you, beautiful,” he told me.

I smiled again and nodded, running my fingers though my bangs pushing them back away from my forehead and face. I took a bite of one of the truffles and sighed at how decadent it tasted. “So …” I said, as I swallowed, “I never really gave any thought to having kids, even if I could,” I told him. “And I never really think much about who I might have been and if that me had kids. But …” I bit at my bottom lip as I thought about how to say what was on my mind.

“But?” Cayde gently prompted.

I set the other half of the truffle back in the bag and licked my fingers before I set the bag on the coffee table and turned in his arms, leaning against his chest as I looked at him. “More recently, I have, occasionally, found myself thinking … if it were possible for Guardians to have children … I’d … want them with you.”

He blinked at me, eyebrows rising as high as they could go.

“I know, you’re an Exo,” I said, looking down at his chest, lightly petting it before looking back up into his eyes. “Even if it were possible for a Guardian, Exos can’t have kids. But … in my head and my heart, I don’t see a Guardian or an Exo. I just … I see you. And … if there was anyone I’d want to be the father of my children, it’d be you, Cayde. And, for me, just knowing I found that person who I’d want that with … that’s more than enough.”

His eyes were wide and they were looking back and forth between mine, his lips slightly parted in stunned silence. “I … I-I … I don’t know … what to say,” he confessed with a slight shake of his head, even though I could sense how deeply my confession had touched him. He sat up a little and set the coffee next to the bag on the table as his eyes drifted down to my lips then back up to my eyes. I felt his hands at my cheeks, softly caressing them, before he slid his fingers into my hair, easing it back, then leaned in and very tenderly brushed his lips against mine before kissing them. “I love you,” he reverently breathed. “My beautiful, wonderful, incredible wife. My Queen.” He softly kissed me once more, then leaned back a little to look at me as I licked my lips from his kisses. He didn’t have to say anything else. I knew what he was feeling and knew what he was thinking, even if our bond didn’t allow for me to read his mind. I just knew he was thinking the same thing I’d said to him. That, if it were possible, he’d want me to be the mother of his children. I smiled at him, nodding and he nodded back, both of us tearing up a little before he kissed me again.

 

We laid together, naked, on the floor, on top of the blanket from the couch, the crackling flames of the fire Cayde had built in the fireplace warming us. He was curled up behind me, letting me use his arm as a pillow as he occasionally kissed my shoulder and the back of my neck, holding me close. His hand was curled over my head and he soothingly combed his fingers through my hair in a wonderfully loving caress that was making me sleepy.

After a little while, I rolled over, facing him, and slipped my arm over his waist as I looked into his eyes, holding him tight against me. He settled his arm back around me and smiled, then gently nuzzled me before I tucked my head under his chin. I sighed. I never thought the subject of children would’ve come up with us, since we were Guardians and he was an Exo. But … just knowing we both would choose each other and want that with each other if it were possible … I was feeling so many things but, most of all, I just didn’t want to let him go. Not ever.

“I’m right here,” he whispered and kissed the top of my head as he caressed the back of my neck.

I nodded. “I know,” I murmured.

“You feel a helluva lot more than you let on,” he murmured back. “You act all tough … you are tough … but when something hits you just right it really throws you, doesn’t it?” He gently asked.

Again, I nodded. “I wasn’t expecting it to. I didn’t allow myself to really think about it because I knew it could never happen. Even ethically, it wouldn’t be right. Not with what we do and basically being immortal. Even if we adopted, it would - they’d grow old and die … we’d still be here.”

He nodded. “I agree with ya, Ais,” he quietly said. “It wouldn’t be right. Cost-a what we are and what we do.” He was quiet for a bit, his fingers slowly and softly sliding through my hair. “I … I’d thought about it, myself, though. Even before you. When I thought about Ace. When I wrote to him. I … I kept thinking … he can’t have been real cause … well … if he was … then … Whatever that me was doin’ … it was shady stuff. Stuff that put me in danger, in debt, likely put me in with a bad crowd. Whatever way you look at it, I’d have been a real selfish and irresponsible asshole to have had a kid bein’ who I was. Course, it did occur to me, someone who would do the stuff I was doin’ likely wasn’t all that responsible. But … I like to think that, no matter what I was into … there was a parta me that would just know better there. Would think beyond myself. Especially becomin’ an Exo. It’d be like abandoning them. And that … that’s a cowards way out and … I don’t wanna think I was that. If I’m on my own, it’s one thing, but if I got a family …” He shook his head.

I nodded and rubbed his back. “If he wasn’t real, then maybe that’s why you made him up, like you’d said before. You needed something to make you a better man,” I softly said. “Real or not. And I don’t think you were ever a bad man, Cayde. Maybe, like you said, you got mixed up in some things that were bad … But I don’t think you were bad. You just needed something to guide you.”

He nodded and eased back just enough to look at me and smile. “And now that’s you,” he whispered, stroking my cheek. “And you’re definitely real.” His smile faded and his eyebrows rose. “Least, you better be. Or I need to be in a padded room,” he joked, feigning worry. He eyed me carefully then gave my butt a playful little pinch.

I jumped and slapped his shoulder. “Hey!” I laughed. “Yes, I’m real!”

“Oww! Okay! Okay!” He laughed. “Just checking!”

“Dumbass,” I uttered under my breath, even though I was grinning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know there were some of you who wondered about this subject with them so thought I'd address it. Hope you liked it and it answered some questions. More soon! :D


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is longer than the last few have been. It's also a bit serious, and a bit NSFW. *Wink* . Enjoy!

I stood outside on our balcony in the cold, crisp night air with Ghost hovering beside me, both of us watching the snow lightly fall over the brightly illuminated City below, the colorful lights casting a faint prism over the underbelly of the Traveler. It was stunningly beautiful and festive, even though the actual Dawning decorations weren’t set to be put out until this coming weekend. There was already an air of seasonal cheerfulness making its way around. 

I had myself wrapped up in a fluffy woven shawl over my usual clothes, and had borrowed Cayde’s scarf to keep my neck nice and warm while I sipped a hot cup of cinnamon cocoa, waiting for him to join me. It was late and it had been a long and busy week for me and other Guardians dealing with Fallen and Cabal being more aggressive than usual thanks to the incoming snowstorms that were already pretty bad this year. The storms had even caused some power outages in some sectors of the City as well as the Tower over the last few days but, thankfully, none of the outages lasted long and backup generators had kept the Tower going with little interruption. Cayde had also been busier than normal working with his Hunters and Scouts to keep trails out in the Wilds clear, well monitored, and as safe as possible. There had been a couple nights where he actually hadn’t come to bed because he’d stayed up updating maps and marking new trails based on incoming reports as some had become a bit too dangerous, either because of Fallen, Cabal, or the weather. 

It was the first time I’d actually seen Cayde work so diligently and it was also the first time I’d seen him get a bit grouchy. I’d noticed it starting earlier yesterday. He was short at times and his usual playful and carefree demeanor wasn’t there. He wasn’t mean or anything, he was just … terse. Which was very unusual for him. I had chalked it up to him just being far busier than normal with Guardians coming at him from all different directions. But, when I came back to the Hanger earlier this afternoon, after taking care of a couple patrols for Devrim, Amanda had asked me if Cayde was okay. Apparently even she was noticing something was off. I’d actually started sensing it, though. 

After securing my ship, I headed over to Cayde’s work area to see if there was anything I could do to help him or cheer him up and make him feel better. As I approached, I saw Zavala was already there, talking with Cayde. I’d started sensing his frustration and could hear it in his tone as I got closer. That was when I heard Cayde suddenly snap: “Zavala, stop!” The demand was so desperate sounding and even feeling, that I’d actually stopped, myself, stunned, and blinked at the two men for a brief moment before I hurried the rest of the way over, wanting to know what in the hell was wrong. Zavala saw me and frowned, sighing, his features apologetic and worried. He set his hand on Cayde’s shoulder and give it a careful squeeze. “Cayde … take the rest of the day off.” It was spoken like a concerned friend, but held a slight edge of an order from his commander. Cayde’s shoulders slumped a little and he nodded then lifted his head and looked over at me as I stepped up beside him. “What is going on?” I asked, setting my hand on Cayde’s arm, looking between him and Zavala.

“Nothing,” Cayde quickly said before Zavala could speak. “Zavala … Zavala just thinks I’ve been workin’ too hard and could use some rest.” I looked at Cayde, then at Zavala who gave me a cautionary look. Like he knew something I didn’t that I needed to talk to Cayde about. 

I rubbed Cayde’s back and nodded to Zavala, then focused my attention back on Cayde. “He’s right,” I gently said. “You’ve been going for three straight days with no sleep. Exo or not, you need to rest.” Cayde looked at me again, his expression a bit sad and like he wanted to protest but I shook my head. “It’s okay. The others will handle things. It’ll all be fine. I promise.” My gaze shifted to Zavala. “Right?”

Zavala nodded. “I’ll oversee it personally, Cayde. Please. Go rest.” 

Cayde sighed, rubbing at his face as he nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, okay.”

“Come on,” I gently coaxed, offering him my arm to lead him out.

It was like my presence finally registered and settled him. His demeanor suddenly eased, tremendously, and he nodded again, his eyelids drooping some, allowing his expression to finally reflect how he was really feeling. He took hold of my arm and leaned against me, letting me walk him home.

 

The walk back to the apartment was silent and Cayde leaned against me the whole way like he was almost dead on his feet for real. I didn’t even try to get him to talk. I knew, right now, he was stretched as far as he could go and just needed some sleep. 

While Cayde got undressed, I started up the shower for him and got it nice and warm, then let him wash up while I turned down the bed and changed out of my armor into my regular clothes. 

I laid back in the bed and waited for him, skimming through one of the romance novels on Cayde’s nightstand, smiling with sentiment as I noticed there were some pages with little doodles and love notes. He’d also drawn hearts and spades joined together and lovingly penned my name in a crease, followed by ‘My Queen’. There were also some lines in the book he’d underlined. When I read them, my eyebrows rose. They were some _very_ elaborate and steamy sex scenes. 

Well!

If this was the stuff Cayde had been reading over the years, no wonder he was so good in bed even without any personal experience in this current version of himself!

“Hey, no peeking at my secret sexy notes,” Cayde said as he came out of the bathroom, clad in his sleep pants and a t-shirt, padding over to the bed. 

I smirked up at him. “Not my fault you leave things that are supposed to be ‘secret’ laying about … almost like you _want_ me to find them.”

“I do no such thing,” Cayde huffed, plucking the book from my hands, looking at the page I’d been reading. His eyebrows rose. “Mmmm. That’s a good scene,” he nodded.

“You got it underlined cause you want to try it, don’t you?” I grinned. He winked at me and I giggled a little. “You seem like you’re feeling a little better.”

“Tired,” he admitted with a nod. “The shower helped, though.” He set the book down on his nightstand and I shifted over so he could get into the bed. “Ais, um …” He got in and pulled the covers up over his lower half. “I’m sorry,” he said as he laid back in the pillows. I rolled onto my side, propping my head on the heel of my hand. “For what?” I asked. 

“For gettin’ so snippy and bein’ a … grumpy old Exo. Um … I … I don’t really have it in me to talk right now but … later … maybe we could?”

I nodded. “Sure, sweetheart,” I smiled, and held my arms open. “Come’ere,” I murmured and coaxed him closer so he was snuggled up against my side, putting my arms around him. “Get some rest,” I whispered, tenderly kissing just above his right eye while I caressed the back of his head until he’d completely relaxed and drifted off to some much needed sleep.

 

I’d woken up a few hours later to a heavily snoring Exo who’d rolled away from me in his sleep and was now precariously hanging off the edge of the bed, the blankets tangled and bunched up around his legs. He’d been tossing and turning. I winced with worry and quickly got up, going around the bed, and carefully eased him back toward the middle of the mattress with a few adorable snorts and a slight moan before he rolled himself over the rest of the way and curled himself around one of my pillows, settling again. I smiled, shaking my head, and fixed the blankets over him and left him to sleep, deciding to go downstairs and work on some reports I needed to catch up on. 

 

Ghost hovered by one of the small monitors I’d set up on the table and was transferring recorded footage of our last missions so I could rewatch them for reference with the reports.

“The Hive are getting far more aggressive,” Ghost noted. “Both in ferocity and numbers.”

I nodded. “More bold,” I agreed, making notes in my report from my last visit to the Tangled Shore. “The Thrall have been swarming in greater numbers, too. We’ll have to make some armor upgrades. Toughen the exterior and the lining. Those claws were getting through too fast.”

I heard a soft noise behind me and leaned back in the chair, looking toward the stairs to see Cayde halfway down them, hand on the railing, looking over at me. “Hey,” I smiled. Cayde gave me a little nod and his features shifted into a bit of a smile back. “You okay?” I asked.

He looked hesitant and I could sense he was a bit anxious. “I think - I think it’s well past time I had a serious talk with you about something,” he quietly said, then held my eyes with his for a moment before turning around and going back upstairs.

Ghost and I shared a look and I got up and went to the kitchen first, grabbing a glass and a bottle of Ab~Synth. I had a feeling Cayde might need it.

When I got to the bedroom, Ghost floating along behind me, Cayde was sitting in the middle of the bed, which he’d neatly made, and was laying back against the pillows, knees pulled up, arms casually draped over them. He looked up at us as we came around the corner and gave us a bit of a smile, petting the spot beside him. 

“Want me to pour you a glass?” I asked, showing him the bottle.

“Oh, that’d be wonderful,” he nodded, sounding grateful. I pored a little of the green drink in the glass and handed it to him. “Know what I’m gonna talk about, huh?” He asked, glancing up at me before taking a sip. Ghost floated over and settled down near the end of the bed, wiggling a little in the fluffy material of the comforter like a little bird getting comfortable in a nest.

I nodded. “I’m pretty sure.” I set the bottle down on the nightstand then sat down on the bed beside him. “Andal?” I asked. He nodded, taking another sip from the glass. “What made you suddenly want to talk about him?” It wasn’t that he hadn’t talked with me about Andal before or about his death. He had. But it had been a quick overview. Nothing detailed. Nothing like his usual stories. It had been too difficult for him. He’d kept it short and quick and I never asked questions, not wanting to make it worse.

“Well …” he sighed, looking at the glass in his hand, as if studying the translucent green liquid. “You deserve to know things and, being the wonderful and chivalrous Titan you are,” he said, a bit of a smile in his voice as he affectionately bumped his shoulder against mine, “I know you won’t ask anyone else who might know the answers cause you feel like that’s goin’ behind my back. And I appreciate it, Ais.” I smiled and pet his knee. He smiled back. “Also - most importantly - you’re my wife.” He shook his head and waved a dismissive hand. “Forget the wedding. That’s a formality. You’re my wife. I should be able to talk with you about it. And … least importantly but most obviously, I’ve been in a bad mood the last couple days and … well … ya saw me gettin’ short with Zavala today.”

“Is it … the anniversary of when it happened?” I carefully asked.

He looked at me. “ … Sorta.” He sipped more of the Ab~Synth. 

“How long ago was it?”

He frowned. “You don’t know?” 

I shook my head. “I know who he was and some of the stories. The rough timeline. I know who caused his dea-”

“No you don’t,” Cayde interrupted, looking at me with a shake of his head.

I frowned. “I … I thought it was …” I didn’t want to say the name. I knew how Cayde was about hearing the name.

“Taniks?” He asked, though, surprising me. “You can say it, Ais.” He smiled a little, even if a bit sadly. “It doesn’t bother me when you say the name around me.”

“Taniks,” I softly said, nodding.

He reached over with his free hand, petting mine, then took another sip from his glass. “Taniks didn’t _cause_ A- … Andal’s … cause him to go home.” He gulped down what was left in his glass and handed it to me. “I did.”

I was absolutely stunned by what he’d just said. Even Ghost looked taken aback by it. Cayde had once told me he felt responsible but … never that he felt like he was actually the _cause_.

Cayde looked at me then at the glass, then back at me, obviously wanting me to refill it. I numbly took the glass and refilled it then gave it back to him. He took it with a nod of thanks and held it, swirling the green liquid in the glass, watching it intently as he spoke. “I … have a hard time talkin’ about it because … well, you know me and the ‘D-word’.” I nodded. “And the bad ‘L-word’,” he said, lightly chuckling making me smile a bit. He got more serious then. “But … it all comes down to … I … I feel like I’m the cause … because I wasn’t more thorough. Because, after, I strutted around like the cocky bastard I am - even though I did feel bad, deep down, knowing it meant he’d be in the Tower. But,” he looked over at me, “y’know I _had_ to be me and gloat like an arrogant ass.” He shook his head. “Lookin’ back on it, I think that - more than anything - was what pissed Andal off. He got _so_ mad at me. Wouldn’t talk to me for a while. And, then, when he had to, it was short. Cold. Made me feel terrible. And I think he saw that and came back around. Especially since I really was sorry for gloating like I had.” He drank a bit of the Ab~Synth. “He came out to the Wilds one day and sat me down and looked at me … all serious - y’know, leanin’ forward toward me, hands on his knees, holdin’ my eyes with his - and he said: ‘Cayde, you do know you’re my brother, right?’” His face scrunched up a bit in sadness as he fought back a few tears, then he tilted his head back against the headboard, looking up at the ceiling, his bottom lip and chin quivering as he took a careful breath, letting it out. “I … I said: ‘Yeah.’ … And he said: ‘Then don’t sweat it. Brothers don’t stay mad at brothers.’. And he smiled at me and reached out and clapped my shoulder. And just like that, everything was good again.” 

I smiled and leaned against Cayde’s side, laying my hand on top of the one he was resting on his knee. He turned his hand over and laced our fingers together, holding my hand tight as he tilted his head to rest atop mine. 

“So, what was making you so grumpy this week?” I quietly asked. “You said it was a sort of anniversary?”

He nodded. “Not just that. It’s … Well, the weather and … The areas my Hunters and Scouts are patrolling … It’s the same area where it all happened in the same snowy weather. It’s just bringing back memories. And Zavala was trynna help but … wrong place, wrong time. I was gonna lose it and just snapped at him.”

“He understood. He’s just worried about you.”

He nodded. “I know.”

“How long ago was it now?” I asked, idly caressing his arm.

He sipped more of his drink. “Hundred and thirty-one years.” He glanced over at me and chuckled ruefully. “And, yeah, all these years later … and it still hurts like hell.”

“He was your brother,” I softly said, and kissed his shoulder. “It’s okay." 

He looked at me again, his features warm and appreciative, but sad. “You wanna know what the real icing on the cake is?” He whispered, leaning his face close enough to mine I resisted reacting to the heavy scent of alcohol on his breath. “Why I spaced out in the prison and cried so much over Sundance?” I frowned questioningly but gave a little nod. “I made the same damn mistake. I thought I’d killed Taniks. I thought he was gone and people were safe. Did the same thing with Fikrul. When I went after the Barons the first time. I thought I’d killed him …” he shook his head, “but I didn’t.” He finished off his glass. “And the same shit happened. Someone I loved died because I failed. And someone else I love was hurt. Badly. Cause, in my arrogance, I thought no way could they have survived what I gave ‘em.” He bowed his head, and tears silently dripped from his eyes and ran down toward his lips, a soft sniffle the only real sound he made. 

I gently took the glass from him and set it aside on the night table then put my arms around him, easing him into a hug. He almost fell into me, pressing his face into my shoulder as he hugged me back. 

He didn’t cry like he had before. He was almost silent and completely still, only occasional sniffling and a slight quiet hitched breath now and again. I could feel the dampness of his tears through the thin fabric at my shoulder, though, and I rubbed his back. It was like he was exhausted and defeated, the sensation I was feeling from him slightly depressed but also kind of relieved.

“Can I ask you something?” I whispered. 

He gave a little nod. 

“When I fought Taniks - both times … You weren’t on the comms. And you didn’t come with me. You never told me why.”

Cayde turned his head against my shoulder and sighed. “The first time … I didn’t know. Variks was runnin’ the show. Petra contacted me. She overheard Variks talking to you over the comms and heard Taniks’s name mentioned. She doesn’t know the deep stuff. She just knows the basics. So she thought it was something I should know. It was too late, though. By the time everything was confirmed and I knew for sure what was goin’ on, you’d taken him out.” He shook his head. “I was … pissed. No. No, I was … I was absolutely enraged. I shoulda been relieved. I mean, here was this monster outta my past, dead. My brother avenged … but all I could think was: ‘How dare they take this from me?’. I ended up flyin’ out to the Reef … Got a few good hits on Variks. Probably woulda beat the shit outta him if the Coarsairs hadn’t grabbed me and tossed me in one-a the cells to cool off. I know I shocked Petra. She hadn’t expected me to react the way I did. No way would she have contacted me if she thought I’d do what I did. Zavala and Ikora came out. And … Zavala gave me one hell of a talkin’ to. So did Ikora. We talked about that time I got drunk after Andal … Um … Well, anyway … she laid into me. But in that way she has about her. She’s … she’s the only other one, besides you, who’s shoulder I’ve, literally, cried on.” He eased back a little and wiped at his eyes. I reached over to the nightstand and grabbed him a tissue. “Thanks,” he murmured, smiling a bit as he cleaned up his face. “As for the second time … I remember feeling numb and thinking: What in the hell _is_ he? How does he keep comin’ back? Son-of-a-bitch really is the Boogyman. … But I was there. Listening in,” he nodded. “Ikora and Zavala told me as soon as reports came in about the Splicers trynna reanimate him. They briefed me on everything. But, after the way I reacted the first time … I … I was grounded. So I, very reluctantly, let them guide you through the Strike while I was only allowed to sit in on it … with the condition that I actually had to sit.”

“Sit?”

He nodded. “Yeah. They made me sit down between them while they stood and ran the mission, monitoring you through the feed. It was … a helpless and frustrating thing. But, in an odd way … comforting. It was one-a those rare times when Zavala got all big brother and father-like. And Ikora showed her more … well … her softer side. By the time you put an end to him for the … fourth time, I think that was - they were crouched down on either side of me, just holding my hands. It was weird, I’ll admit. Especially seein’ Zavala like that. I ain’t never seen either of them like that before - or since. Until the prison. But it helped. They got how I felt and knew, cause I felt the way I did, me goin’ in or bein’ on the comms for any of it … I’da just made things worse. I was too close to it.”

“So that’s why, both times, you weren’t around when I came back to the Tower and didn’t talk to me much once you finally did come back?”

He nodded. “I didn’t hate ya, Ais,” he assured me. “I just … I was afraid of how I’d react. And we weren’t close then. Not to mention, I was your … superior. I mean, how would that look, me breakin’ down on ya?”

I smiled a little, reaching over, caressing his cheek. “I’d have been surprised, but I’d still have done the same thing I did the first time.” He looked at me, blinking a bit. “I’d have held you and told you everything was going to be alright.” 

He smiled and leaned in, giving me a kiss and another hug.

“You feel better?” I asked, petting his back.

“Actually, yeah,” he nodded. “I do.” He frowned as he eased back. “Either that, or I’m drunk.”

“Oh, please,” I scoffed. “You only had two glasses. I know you. It takes more than that to get you drunk.” He chuckled and I became a bit more serious. “I know I wasn’t there. And I know I’m not Andal. But I don’t think he blames you, Cayde. I don’t think he ever did.” I suddenly found myself recalling this past Festival of the Lost and now really understanding why Cayde was so shaken. It wasn’t the sadness of the loss of Andal, it was the guilt he felt. He’d been hurting in a way I hadn’t understood.

“Kinda wish I knew for sure,” he muttered, looking down at his hands. 

“Would you have blamed him if things had been reversed?” I asked.

“Of course not,” Cayde immediately replied.

“Brothers don’t stay mad at brothers,” I offered, taking both his hands in my own, giving them a squeeze. He blinked rapidly and cleared his throat as he squeezed back. “Does Shiro know? How you’ve felt?”

“That’s complicated,” Cayde admitted. “I think he knows but not how bad. I don’t … talk with him a lot about that stuff. I just, uh … well, outside-a you, I don’t really talk to people about what I’m really feeling. Even Ikora. She knows more than most, but no where near what you know.”

I nodded. “But Shiro knows what happened to Taniks, right?”

“Oh, yeah,” Cayde nodded. “Yeah, I told him after. Both times. Why do you think he likes ya so much?” He lightly chuckled.

I smirked. “Well, I’d like to think it’s because of my winning personality.”

Cayde’s eyes widened. “Oh, hell, you’ve been hanging around me too much!”

I laughed, and so did he. It was a wonderful sound to hear after everything we’d just talked about. To know he was, somewhat, okay.

“Hey … You know what I could use?” Cayde asked.

I shook my head. “What’s that?”

“Some fresh air and some hot cocoa,” he said.

“Really?” I asked, eyebrows rising, another smirk tugging at my lips.

He nodded. “Yeah. Enough visiting the past for now. It felt good to talk - to finally get it out and tell you about it. But I need a break. And, like you, chocolate cheers me up. Besides, Dawning starts this weekend and we have something much more important to discuss than my past.”

“Oh? And what’s that?” 

“What I’m going to get you for a present.”

I laughed. “I already got my present.” He furrowed his eyebrows, tilting his head. “You, silly,” I told him, affectionately tapping the tip of his horn with my finger.

His demeanor and mood immediately warmed. “Ais …” He shook his head and pulled me into a hug. “I love you so much, you know that?”

“I love you, too, Light,” I whispered, hugging him back.

 

“You’re letting all the heat out of the apartment, you know?” I called over my shoulder, noticing the door was still partly slid open.

“I’m coming!” Cayde called.

I smirked and, when I heard him finally coming out, I looked over to the door and nearly burst out laughing! Cayde was bundled up in what had to be about three layers of clothes along with his winter coat. He even had a hat on! “What in the world?” I asked between giggles.

“You know I don’t like the cold,” he said.

“I know bu-” I frowned when I looked down at his legs. “Are you wearing _my_ leg warmers?”

“They’re fur-lined,” he answered, as if that made it make total sense.

I pinched the bridge of my nose, trying not to laugh. “Sweetheart … it’s not _that_ cold out.”

“It is to me,” he said.

“You know, if you didn’t put on so many layers, I’d be able to hold you more easily, and I guarantee that would keep you nice and toasty,” I hinted.

He blinked at me, then hurried back inside.

“Where’s he going?” Ghost asked.

“To change, no doubt,” I told Ghost, smirking as I went back to sipping my cocoa. I knew Cayde had gotten overly silly to try and balance out the more serious mood from earlier and let me know he was alright. He was silly and adorable like that.

 

“Okay, I’m trusting you to keep your word and keep me nice and warm,” Cayde said as he came back out for a second time, this time dressed more sensibly in a pair of pants and his sweater. Of course, he had to keep up a bit of the silly … 

He was wearing my slippers that had pink furry pom-poms dangling off the tops. 

“Your toes nice and warm?” I grinned, coaxing him over.

“Mmm,” he grunted with a bit of a nod as he sipped some cocoa from his own mug before coming over. “Have I mentioned that I like that your feet are bigger than mine?”

“Only by like a half-size, Cayde,” I chuckled. I drank a little more of my own cocoa then set the mug down on the table nearby and opened up my shawl. 

“Huh.”

“What?”

“Was kinda hopin’ you’d be topless under there.”

“You’re this close,” I said, holding my finger and thumb about an inch apart, “to me chucking you off this balcony.”

“I’ll be good!” He quickly said and shimmied over the rest of the way, pom-poms bouncing against his feet. I smirked and wrapped the shawl around him as he snuggled back against my chest, sighing, looking out at the City and the Traveler. “You know what I love about this view?” He asked. 

“Mmm, what’s that?” I asked resting my chin on his shoulder, rubbing his belly through his sweater.

He sighed, a warm, content sensation washing over him. “I remember when this whole valley, as far as you can see, was nothing but Wilds.”

“I forget you watched this City rise up from nothing,” I murmured.

He nodded. 

“The things you’ve seen … the places you’ve been …” I smiled.

He turned his head to look back at me. “None of it compares to you,” he whispered.

I gave him a tender nuzzle. “You’re racking up some serious husband points,” I playfully told him, smiling.

His eyebrows rose. “Ooooh. Do they get me anything?”

“Maybe,” I cooed and slipped my hands under his sweater. I felt his muscles tense in surprise, his eyebrows rising even higher. I grinned. “Are you getting warm?” I purred.

“A little,” he nodded, his voice holding a giddy squeak to it.

My grin widened and I kissed the side of his neck. His eyes closed and he sighed, then sipped at more of his cocoa while I lovingly traced the soft and subtle curves of his abdominal muscles. 

“I don’t deserve you,” he uttered. “I really don’t.”

“Well, that’s too bad,” I whispered in his ear before slowly, delicately licking the edge. “Cause you got me … and I’m never …” I slipped my hands into the front of his pants and he gasped, “ever,” I grinned again, sliding my fingers over his warm length, “letting you go.”

His knees buckled and he stumbled a bit but didn’t fall, my arms securely holding him up. I heard a light clink as he balanced his mug on the railing, grabbing at my right arm with his free hand as his head fell back onto my shoulder. “Ais …”

I noticed a flickering flash of light out the corner of my eye as Ghost disappeared to give us privacy. I smirked and slid my left hand out of his pants just long enough to take the mug from him before he dropped it, and set it aside, then slipped my hand back in. “You remember that page you had underlined in your book?” I whispered.

He gasped again and turned his head just enough to look at me out the corner of his eye, surprised. “You’re gonna …?”

“Unless you don’t want me to,” I purred again, nibbling at the side of his neck.

He shivered, but not from the cold, and let a stifled moan slip past his lips. I felt his right hand move down and undo the buttons on his pants then slide over my own hand and guide me in what to do, easing himself out under the shawl. He sighed, curling his fingers over the tops of mine and directed me in a slow, teasing rhythm up and down his whole length, twisting my hand a bit in the process. 

“Just like that?” I lowly rumbled in his ear, letting my hot breath ghost over the side of his face as I very gently squeezed my hand around him as I neared the tip. He let out a soft cry, his knees buckling again as he nodded. I held him up with my other arm around his waist, never so grateful as I was in that moment to be a Titan with the added strength. “What are you imagining?” I whispered, licking my lips, brushing them over his ear. 

“I - I’m … Ooooh … I’m laying back … in bed … and you … you’re standin’ at the foot of the bed … in this … Oooooooh so sexy white lace lingerie. So delicate … w-with … a garter belt … and silky stockings. Mmmmm.” He gasped a little and seemed to grin, and I sensed a surge of excitement rise in him just as I felt him swell a bit more against my palm. “Crotchless parties,” he purred.

My lips parted, my mouth agape, in a scandalized smirk. “Why, Cayde-6 … you naughty boy …” purred. Ooooh, I loved this!

He gave me a sly glance, arcing an eyebrow. “Oh, Ais … if only you knew how naughty I get in my head.”

“Really?” I asked, touching my top teeth with the tip of my tongue. “Maybe it’s about time you didn’t just get naughty in your head?” I felt a sudden rush of embarrassment well up inside him, despite the heated and sultry look he was giving me, belying it. “Ooooh. Are you shy?” I soothed with a grin.

He looked away, his coy smile speaking volumes. “Trying not to be,” he admitted, his breathing getting a little quicker, my hand still slowly stroking him. 

“Ooooh, but it’s so cute,” I rumbled. “All those lusty things playing out in your head … Soooooo sexy … but you’re so adorably bashful,” I cooed and nuzzled him, breathing him in as I rolled my pelvis into his backside, my own excitement starting to build.

He gasped and stiffened a bit. 

I paused in what I was doing. “You didn’t like that?” I asked.

“N-no … I … I did … actually.” He sounded surprised by that.

“Do you want me to do it again?” I asked.

He hesitated for a moment, then nodded, even as I sensed excited trepidation all through him. I purr-growled and started heatedly kissing, licking and nibbling at the back of his neck as my hand started up again, wanting to distract him from the shyness and just let him let go with me. I knew it was different when you thought about things but then acted on them in front of someone else. There was always that feeling of embarrassment, not sure what the other person was thinking as they watched you. But Cayde … Like this … surrendering … Oh, Traveler help me, I was _so_ turned on! I rolled my hips into him in a slow, rhythmic motion to match my hand, feeling my own excitement build even more as he adjusted and pressed back into me, gasping again, arching his chest as his head fell back onto my shoulder. His lips parted, his breath puffed out in steamy clouds of vapor. I slid my other hand up to his chest under his sweater, holding my palm over his heart, feeling the swishing pulse gradually speeding up, matching his heady breathing. “Do you know … how unbelievably hot you are … right now?” I softly panted, gritting my teeth as I tried to focus only on him and not how wet and needy I was getting. 

Ooooh, what he did to me! 

“H-how hot?” He panted.

“You’re all fire. Wild … unbridled … ” I lustily panted in his ear. “Needy.”

He shuddered as he exhaled and let go of my hand as both his grabbed at my arms, arching again, lifting himself up on his tippy-toes.

I pressed my face to the side of his neck and breathed him in, groaning as I started speeding up my hand and carefully tightening it a little more around his throbbing heat.

“Ais …” He was trembling and bucked his hips a little faster, rocking back into me as I pushed forward. 

“I’ve got you,” I panted. “I’ve always got you,” I promised. 

He suddenly growled and tightened his hands on my forearms almost tight enough to hurt. “Ooooh, I love your hips,” he sighed, easing up on his grip a little. “Love the way you move them when you ride me,” he rumbled.

“Is that what I’m doing?” I breathed with a proud smirk, pressing my cheek to his, feeling our breaths mingle, our rhythmic panting synching. “Riding you … _so hard_?” I couldn’t help but grin at how fun this was!

“Oooh, you’re fuckin’ my brains out!” Cayde gasped, his hips thrusting as he writhed in my arms.

My eyes widened, my eyebrows nearly going up to my hairline. I’d never heard him talk like that before!

I was making it my mission to make him talk like that again!

“You’re making me so wet, talking like that,” I breathed, carefully nibbling on the edge of his ear - it was a bit hard to nibble on metal, but I made it work - while pressing my hips into him, my chest as well, letting him feel how heavily I was breathing. “I’m so close, Cayde … I’m right there … right on the edge. I just … just need you to …” I grinned, leaving him waiting.

“W-what?” He stuttered, trembling. “Just need me to what?”

I nuzzled his ear and grinned again. “I need you to come for me, baby,” I slowly and very sweetly whispered. “I need you to come so hard. Pleeeeease?”

“Ooooh … Oh, A-Ais!” He let out a soft, whimpering cry followed by a strangled moan before his whole body bucked and tensed, then shuddered. I felt a spasming rush of wet heat splash against my hand just before Cayde’s let out a shaky breath and sagged back into my arms. He panted, starring up at the snow-speckled sky, heart racing. 

After a few beats, catching his breath, he lolled his head to the side and looked to me.

I grinned and brushed my lips against his, kissing him adoringly. 

I felt his features shift into a very satisfied smirk of their own before he spoke, his voice low and sultry. “Mmmmm. Admit it … It was the pink pom-poms? You can tell me. They totally turned you on, didn’t they?”

I pressed my forehead to his and we both laughed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pink pom-poms will never be looked at the same! *GRIN* More soon!


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little sweet, a little sentimental, and a little ... plotting. ;)

“So, Zavala contacted me,” Cayde murmured as he swayed me to the soft guitar music playing from the living room console. “Said P.V. got hold of him with a message from Spider. He’s got a job for us on the Shore he thought we’d personally like to handle. Thought we could take a run out there this afternoon. See what it is.”

“Oooh, is that why you’re in such an excited mood?” I asked, smiling at him as I looked into his shimmering eyes. I’d come downstairs from my morning shower to the music playing and Cayde surprising me, swooping me up in his arms before he started dancing with me, no explanation at all. Not that he’d need one. I loved when he danced with me. He was really good at it, too. Suave in a very confident way. He’d actually taught me how to dance. I still wasn’t that great at it - I swear, I had two left feet - but, just slowly swaying to the music, like we were now, he had a way about him that I became lost in and just followed so effortlessly. 

He lowly chuckled. “Well, I’ll admit,” he said, drawing me out of my thoughts, “getting outta this Tower always gets me excited,” he murmured, leaning in, giving my lips a soft kiss, “that’s not it, though.” 

I smiled. “Then …?” I shrugged a little, giving him a curious look with a little shake of my head.

He leaned in close and whispered in my ear: “Our rings are ready.”

My eyes widened and I leaned back to look at him. “They are?” I asked, excitement of my own now bubbling up inside my chest. 

He nodded, smirking back at me. I knew he’d felt how excited I suddenly was. “The shop contacted me while you were in the shower.”

“So they’re open? We can go now?” I asked.

He laughed and nodded. “Yes.”

I actually squeed. I’m not kidding! I bounced a little, too, and hugged him, making him laugh even more, then grabbed at his hands and tugged him to the entry way closet to get our coats.

 

“I’ve never seen you like this before,” Cayde whispered to me while we sat together on the elevated train into the downtown district of the City. “You’re usually so … reserved.”

I grinned, blushing a bit. He was right. I usually never got like this. But I was so excited to see the rings. “I just … of all the things for the wedding, they’re what I’ve been looking forward to the most.”

“Really?” He asked, eyebrows rising. “Not your dress? Which,” he said, giving my side an affectionate poke, “Ikora has been asking me about. She knows you’ve been busy, but wants to get together with you and Amanda and go get it.”

“Oh?” I looked at him, surprised. “She and Amanda want to take me shopping for a dress?”

“Well, yeah. I mean … isn’t that usually one-a the big and fun things about bein’ the bride? Gettin’ your dress?”

“Yeah, I guess, I just …” I shrugged. “I’m so used to doing things alone.” I shook my head. “I didn’t even think about going with anyone.”

He blinked at me, incredulous. “You were gonna go get your dress alone?” he uttered, sadly. “Ais … I’m the guy and I know you’re supposed to have an entourage for that. It’s supposed to be a big to do. A whole day of it, havin’ fun and …” he waved his hand in a hap-hazard way. “I don’t know. Bridey … stuff.” I smirked but he was looking at me in a concerned way and I ended up avoiding his eyes. I hated that look. He sighed and put his arm around me and leaned close to my ear. “You always reassure me I’m not alone anymore. Well, neither are you, beautiful. Remember that, okay?”

I turned my head at looked at him for a moment, then nodded. He kissed my forehead and pulled me against his chest, wrapping both his arms around me, and held me for the rest of the ride into downtown.

 

“Okay, here they are,” the shop clerk said as she brought out two small ring boxes from the back. She set the boxes on the counter and opened each one, then turned them for us to see.

Ghost had appeared and looked at the rings, his back end twitching back and forth in a happy and excited way. “Wow,” he uttered, clearly approving. 

I smiled.

You ever have one of those moments where you feel like you could just stare at something forever? 

I feel that way about Cayde all the time. 

Sometimes, I swear, I could just stare at him for eternity and never fully take in how incredibly handsome and special he is to me. 

This was the first time I found myself feeling that way about anything else, looking at the rings. I think I even stopped breathing for a moment, too. It was like, seeing them, it suddenly made it all real. 

Really real. 

Before that moment, the reality of a wedding - knowing that Cayde and I were actually going to have a ceremony and celebrate our bond with everyone … It hadn’t really sunk in. It felt like … well … more like a big celebration than something far more profound. I hadn’t really made the emotional connection to it - hadn’t fully allowed myself to make the connection of the ceremony to representing our love and devotion to each other. We kept talking about how it was a formality - that we already saw ourselves as married. And, we were. As far as Cayde and I were concerned, our joined Light already confirmed our love and promise to each other. I think that was why I hadn’t really found myself diving head first into it. I already felt married to Cayde. 

And that, in and of itself, felt profoundly special and magical. 

But, now, seeing the rings, I finally felt what I think I was supposed to feel about it all since he proposed. I felt giddy about the ceremony, incredibly excited, overly emotional, and just … warm. So incredibly warm. Like I just wanted to cuddle up to him, hold him, and softly kiss him for hours and whisper to him how much he meant to me and how much I truly loved him - that I loved him since the first moment I saw him.

“Are … are you cryin’, Ais?” Cayde gently murmured to me, sounding almost shocked. It pulled me out of my thoughts and I saw Ghost looking at me, blinking with surprise. I felt Cayde’s hand at my back, giving it a tender rub and I blinked, touching my cheeks, realizing I was actually crying. I sniffed, clearing my throat as I wiped at my cheeks and glanced at him, a little embarrassed. He was smiling, though. In a knowing way. Like he suddenly knew everything that I’d been feeling and why. I smiled back and leaned into him and he gave me a wonderfully affectionate snuggle and kiss. “Welcome to the party,” he whispered, and I softly chuckled.

The clerk seemed to understand the emotion and politely smiled, patiently waiting for us before she suggested we look the rings over to make sure they were exactly what we’d wanted. She also suggested we try them on to make sure they fit.

Cayde and I both lifted the rings out of their boxes and looked them over. I smiled at the interlinked spade and heart design etched onto my ring. His design looked so beautiful on the white titanium. Simple, perfect, yet spoke volumes about the two of us. I looked at the inside of my ring and read the inscription: ‘Your Light in the darkness. Your Firefly.’. I held my bottom lip between my teeth and smiled. 

That was when I caught Cayde about to slip his ring on his finger to make sure of the fit and I quickly stopped him, setting my hand over both of his. He looked at me, surprised and confused at first, until I gently took the ring from him, then took his left hand in my own, lovingly holding it before lifting it to my lips, kissing the top of his ring finger. “You don’t put on your own ring,” I murmured, smiling at him, then carefully eased it onto his finger, unable to properly articulate into any words the feeling that washed over me and through me as I did.

The ring fit him perfectly, and I stared at it on his finger, brushing the pad of my thumb over it before looking up into his eyes, feeling my own begin to sting again.

He was staring at me, his eyes impossibly soft. Even being an Exo, you could see the emotion in them and behind them. The welling up of love and what I could only say, but not describe, was the same feeling I had. He curled his fingers around my hand, and leaned in, nuzzling me gently, giving my lips a sweet kiss. “I love you,” he whispered, then took my ring and held out his hand for mine. I smiled again and offered him my hand. He mimicked my affectionate gesture and lifted my hand to his lips, kissing the top of my ring finger, then gently eased the ring on before curling his hand around mine, brushing his thumb over the ring, just as I’d done to his. 

My smile grew as I took in the feeling of the ring there, then eased my hand from his as I draped both my arms over his shoulders, wrapping them around the back of his neck, pressing my forehead to his. I felt him slip his arms around my waist and pull me close as he kissed me, my hands caressing the back of his head and neck. “I love you,” I whispered between kisses. “I’ve always loved you, Cayde.”

He rested his forehead back against mine and gave a little nod. “I know,” he whispered back, a smile in his voice. “I’ve always known.” He let my waist go and lifted his hands to my cheeks, holding them adoringly as he kissed me again. “I’ve loved you, too.”

I couldn’t help the rush of emotion, hearing him say that, and felt tears slip from my eyes and run down my cheeks. He brushed them away with his thumbs, then put his arms back around me and held me tight. I could feel the emotion within him, too, a whirlwind of love and affection in a way I hadn’t ever felt before. He’d stopped breathing, deliberately holding his own tears back as best he could.

It was then I noticed, out the corner of my eye, that the clerk was watching us with a happy smile. Cayde lightly chuckled. “Yup,” he told her, standing up a little straighter. “Found the love and Light of all my lifetimes,” he proudly said.

I tightened my arms around him and closed my eyes, breathing in the spicy scent of his cologne and just took a few minutes to savor this incredibly special moment I never wanted to end.

 

“Hey, boss,” Cayde greeted Zavala as we stepped into the Vanguard Briefing Room, Ghost appearing as we entered the room. 

Zavala looked up from his data pad, his eyes focused on Cayde, appearing to be pleasantly surprised to see Cayde in a much better mood than the last time he’d seen and spoken to him. He gave us both a curt but friendly nod. “Cayde. You’re looking rested.”

“Well, I wouldn’t say ‘rested’,” Cayde told him and gave me a sly look. I returned it with an affectionate shove.

“Ooof! Hey, that was a compliment!” Cayde protested.

I snickered, even as Zavala arched an eyebrow at us, doing his best to resist the smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. 

“Ruminating on the enlivening joys of interrelation bliss?” Ikora calmly asked as she joined us from a room next door, stepping inside with her hands lightly clasped behind her back and a slight knowing smirk on her lips. 

“Uuuh … what?” Cayde asked like he didn’t know what she’d said, although I was sure he did.

Ikora lowly chuckled. “It seems to have a very positive effect on you, Cayde.” Her eyes drifted to me. “You as well, Aislin.”

“I can’t help it. He’s adorable,” I casually replied. 

Her smirk became a warm smile. “We need to talk,” she told me, the tone and gesture not seeming pressing, but like she wanted to make it sooner than later.

“Wedding dress shopping?” I asked.

“Cayde told you, then,” she nodded.

“She was gonna go get her dress _alone_ ,” Cayde tattled, crossing his arms over his chest, giving me a sideways glance, arching his eyebrow at me.

Ikora gave me the same slightly sad look Cayde had given me earlier and I elbowed Cayde in his side for opening his mouth, making him grunt and utter and ‘Ow’ under his breath. “It’s fine,” I assured Ikora, giving Cayde a slightly annoyed yet affectionate glance. I couldn’t stay mad at him, even for a few seconds. “I just got used to doing things alone,” I explained. “But …” I gave Cayde a smile, “he reminded me I’m not alone now. So,” I nodded, looking at her again. “We’ll plan something.”

Ikora gave me a pleased nod and we got down to business.

“So, what’s up?” Cayde asked Zavala as we all gathered around the table up near where Zavala was standing. 

“Petra contacted me,” Zavala said. “She said this ‘Spider’ you’re acquainted with has a problem on the Shore. She said it would be something the two of you would want to handle.” 

“Scorn?” Cayde asked.

“Not exactly,” Zavala said and handed Cayde the message.

Cayde looked at the screen, Ghost hovering over his shoulder, and frowned, then looked at Zavala. “You’re kidding me.”

Zavala shook his head.

“What is it?” I asked, turning the thin digital screen Cayde was holding in his hand toward me so I could read it, too. I scanned over the message Petra had sent and felt my lips curl like I’d eaten something that tasted particularly gross. “The … Mindbender and … a Hive Brood Queen?” I asked, incredulous. I looked at Cayde. “They can do that? How?” 

“Uuuh … the usual way?” Cayde offered, shrugging, eyebrows raised.

I frowned and smacked his shoulder. “I know _how_ , Cayde.” I rolled my eyes at him. “I mean how can an Eliksni and Hive crossbreed? I wouldn’t think that was possible considering their make up.”

“It’s happened before,” Ikora said. “But only on a very small scale and the offspring died. According to Petra’s message, Spider believes it’s an entire nest … and the offspring have survived somehow.”

“He spent a long time with the Hive,” Cayde said, handing the data pad back to Zavala. “He was able to do things other Eliksni can’t.” I felt a twinge of anger rise up inside him and set my hand on his back, briefly pressing my face to his shoulder. He glanced at me and calmed, leaning over, kissing my forehead before turning his attention back to Ikora and Zavala. “He changed. Sorta like Eris did,” he continued. “Probably why he was able to successfully breed with them.”

“But, wouldn’t a Brood Queen want pure bred offspring?” I asked.

“If he was changed enough, or she saw potential in his particular … um … mix, she’d see it as giving an advantage to her offspring. It wouldn’t have mattered,” Cayde said, shaking his head. “Hive think in terms of old world royalty. It ain’t about love or like, it’s what’s gonna give you the best stock.”

“Ew,” Ghost uttered.

“That’s the problem,” Zavala said. “We already have enough trouble with the Hive and Fallen as they are. A mixing of the species may not have worked before but if it works this time, we could have an even greater threat on our hands. We need to put a stop to it before it spreads. Take it out.”

 

“Hey Amanda, Marcus been around lately?” I asked her while Cayde prepped the ship.

“Actually, he’s here,” she told me, wiping some grease off her hands as she stood up from an engine she’d been working on. “Stopped in for some thruster couplings. I think he’s in the back room,” she said, tossing her thumb over her shoulder in that direction.

“Oh, great,” I quickly said, and turned to hurry and find him. “Oh!” Turned back to her. “If Cayde comes looking for me … um … I’m … in the bathroom.” She gave me a curious look and I put my finger to my lips. “Wedding surprise,” I whispered. “Shh.” She made an ‘Ooooh’ face and smiled, nodding, then made a zipping motion over her lips before I hurried off to find Marcus.

I found him, crouched down on the floor, rifling through a bin of parts in one of Holliday's back rooms. I made to knock on the wall just inside the door to announce my presence but he beat me to it. “You Titan’s have very loud steps. Is it natural or just all the heavy armor?” He asked, not even looking up.

“Might be natural. Cayde says I have big feet,” I told him, crossing my arms as I leaned up against the wall. 

He turned, looking over his shoulder, frowning. When he saw it was me his eyebrows went up. “Oh! Hey! Long time, no see.” He stood. 

“Not my fault. You should come to the Tower more often,” I told him.

“Hunter,” he said gesturing to himself as if to say ‘duh’. “Plus, I’m not Cayde. I can leave.”

“Cayde can leave,” I said.

“I mean I’m not stuck here babysitting,” Marcus clarified. 

“You’re being a jerk,” Didi scolded as she materialized next to him, giving her Guardian a withering look. Marcus looked a bit admonished. “Forgive him. He’s been in a bad mood all day,” she told me, just as Ghost appeared, giving her an acknowledging bob in greeting. She bobbed back. 

“It’ll work!” Marcus told her. “If I can just … get the damn thrusters to stabilize.”

“New sparrow project?” I asked.

He gave me a suspicious look. “… Maybe.”

I smirked and shook my head. “I don’t have much time, I need to ask you something, but only agree to it if you _know_ you can do it,” I told him, pointing a finger at him.

He blinked. “Uhh … Okay?”

“You know that cabin Cayde won from you?” He nodded. “Well, I ended up with it doing a job for him a couple years ago.”

“He gave away my cabin?!” Marcus asked, sounding and looking scandalized.

“Shh!” I told him, looking behind me out the door. I didn’t see Cayde or sense him nearby, but still. I turned back to Marcus. “Look, I have a proposal for you but you keep. Your mouth. Shut. Got it?” I asked.

He suddenly looked intrigued and seemed to register how serious I was being, so he dropped the jerky attitude. “Yeah,” he nodded. 

I stepped closer to him, keeping my voice low. “Only a handfull of people know for now, we haven’t made an announcement yet, so you _can’t_ say anything but … Cayde and I are getting married.”

Marcus’s eyes went impossibly huge and he actually dropped the couplings he was holding, both of them clattering to the floor. “WHAT?!” He whisper-screamed. Didi blinked her eye in surprise as well. “MARRIED?!” Marcus continued to whisper-scream. “The Wildcard?! The man who could never be tied down?! The Wanderer of the Wilds?! Married?!”

“The Wanderer of the Wilds?” Ghost asked like he was arching an eyebrow if he had one. He looked at me. I shrugged. I’d ask Cayde about that one another time when it wouldn’t give away me talking to Marcus.

“Marcus, I’m limited on time here, look, the cabin, I really want to fix it up and make it into something special for Cayde for a wedding gift. So he has a place out there where he or both of us can go and spend time out in the Wilds. I know how much he loves it out there and misses being there. Can you help me out?”

“Oh! Oh, yeah!” Marcus nodded. 

“Okay,” I nodded. “Can you have it done by the end of May?”

“Um … well … last time I saw it, it wasn’t in horrible shape and, even with the winter … I can work on the inside, then finish up the outside as soon as it warms up. Can I have help?”

“As long as you keep quiet, no one says anything, and you talk to me about stuff first,” I nodded. “We’ll go through Amanda so Cayde doesn’t suspect anything.”

Marcus looked like he was pondering things over, rubbing at his chin, then nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, okay. It probably won’t be cheap though.”

“I’ve got the glimmer,” I nodded.

“Right, okay,” he shrugged, then grinned a bit like a loon. “Married. Really?” He shook his head. “I knew you two were friends, but … wow. So, uh … how’s he in-”

“Goodbye, Marcus,” I said, cutting him off, unable to help smirking a bit. “I’ll contact you later. And, remember, not. A. Word.”

“Hunter’s honor,” he vowed, holding up his hand and nodding. 

I looked to Didi and she bobbed. “I’ll make sure he stays quiet,” she promised.

I nodded and headed back to the ship with Ghost.

“You think he’ll slip?” Ghost asked.

“No,” I shook my head. “He knows I’ll bury his body somewhere no one will find it if he says anything,” I chuckled. Marcus could be a reckless jerk sometimes, but he could keep his word. 

 

“Where’d you go?” Cayde asked as I made my way to his workstation, seeing him filling Colonel’s bowl. “I was about to try and get ya on the comm.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. All that coffee I had when we got back …” I said, waving it off.

“Went right through ya, huh?” He chuckled.

I nodded. “Titan armor is not bathroom friendly,” I nodded, smirking. “We all set?”

“Yup! Colonel is all set for the day - Oh!” He snapped his fingers and went to the little cooler he had under his bench and pulled out a sprig of parsley and floated it on top of her water. “There ya go, girl,” he cooed affectionately, petting her. “Guard the fort, my little Battle Hen.”

“Battle Hen?” I chuckled. “Really?”

Cayde blinked at me then looked at Colonel. “She’s mocking you. You gonna stand for that? Peck her ankles!”

I grabbed Cayde by the scarf, pulling him to his feet. “Gaah! Easy! Easy!” He protested.

“Come on, Battle Boy, let’s go,” I smirked, tugging him along over my shoulder by his scarf.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Had to break this chapter up, since the next part would have made it too long. Hope you enjoyed it! Should have the nest part out soon! :D


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know what to say here. I just had fun writing this one. :)

As Cayde navigated the ship through the jump, I found myself idly holding my left hand in my right, my fingers brushing over the spot on my ring finger where the wedding band had been sitting earlier today. I smiled. Even through the glove, it still felt like it was there. I’d hated having to take it off. I could tell Cayde hated it, too. But we’d placed our rings back in their boxes and took them home, placing them in the top drawer of Cayde’s dresser for safe keeping until the wedding day. June wasn’t that far away and would be here before we knew it. Still, right now, it seemed like forever away. 

I smirked to myself. I just had to pick a deeply sentimental and secret place that forced the time of the wedding to be out a ways. Worth it, though. I was really looking forward to Cayde being surprised. I really hope he liked it. 

Cayde’s hand laying atop my own brought me back out of my thoughts and I looked over at him, seeing him smile at me as he gave my hands a little squeeze. I smiled back, then leaned over and laid against his arm, hugging it softly as I closed my eyes. I felt him shift himself a bit closer, resting his free hand atop my head, petting it lovingly before kissing it. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so sentimental. Usually that’s my job,” he joked.

I smiled and hugged his arm then lifted my head, looking up at him. “Just imagine what I’m going to be like on the wedding day,” I told him.

“Oh, no, no, no. You can’t get all mushy on that day. I already got dibs,” Cayde played back, lightly tapping the tip of my nose.

I chuckled. “You’re just a big ol’ softie under all that posturing, aren’t you?” Of course, I already knew that.

“Shhhh,” he hushed, putting his finger over his lips. “No one can know,” he whispered, as if no one outside of me knew the truth. 

In reality, while I knew the deepest parts of Cayde no one else did - the raw, emotional and vulnerable side he kept hidden from others - Zavala, Ikora, Amanda, Shiro, and Petra knew there was a deeper side to Cayde and had seen some of it in one way or another over the years. It was why they were the only ones coming to the actual Bonding Ceremony. They were our closest and most trusted friends. I had asked Cayde about Ana joining us as well. Especially considering the circumstances surrounding saving his life. He said he needed to think about it and I didn’t push it. He liked Ana. He was more than appreciative and thankful for what she did on Enceladus. She had helped bring him back. And I knew he knew that that meant a lot to me, too, what she’d done. But, that one moment, where she pushed him too far and forced a reaction form him he’d been trying so hard to keep down at a time when he was in a very vulnerable state … That bothered him. He had forgiven her. I knew he had. But she had broken his trust there. 

You could steal from Cayde, cheat him, even stab him in the back - literally and figuratively - and it wouldn’t have quite the same impact on him as forcing his walls down and spurring a raw reaction. He was far more guarded than most thought. Especially considering the way he acts all the time. Which is the point. People don’t see the much deeper man beneath the act. They assume he’s a lighthearted, flippant, man-child and that throws people off. Which is what he wants. So, to get past that without permission, that was, as far as Cayde was concerned, a big no, no. So he was having a hard time there. The people who were part of our private ceremony were those Cayde held close to his chest and had already let in. He knew he could trust them if his guard came down - which he knew was going to happen. To both of us. It was going to be a wonderful but emotional day. And, as grateful as he was to Ana, that infraction into his personal life without his okay had caused a dilemma he was struggling with. I had told him to listen to himself - to what he felt deep down. If he was uncomfortable then Ana would have to understand that. I didn’t want him to feel like he had to hold something back or worry about saying or doing something because he didn’t feel safe to. Especially not then. And, Ana … I like Ana, too. I really do. And she is a good person. She helped bring Cayde back to me. To all of us. But she doesn’t always think about the affect her words and actions have when she becomes focused on something. She sees the thing she wants or wants to know about - sometimes in an obsessive way - and doesn’t always see the forest for the trees. 

Knowing Cayde and how he felt, I was almost positive Ana was staying on the reception only list.

“Hello? Cayde to the space cadet …” Cayde said, waving a hand in front of my face. I jumped a little, startled, and looked at him. He frowned at me. “Where do you keep going?” He asked, frowning. “You okay?”

“Sorry, yeah,” I nodded. “Just thinking about wedding stuff,” I told him and smiled again. “How do you feel about blue and gold being our colors?” I asked. 

“Blue and gold?” Cayde asked, eyebrows rising in curious contemplation. 

“Well, I didn’t want to go with yellow,” I said, making a yuck face. “But, I thought a very soft gold might be nice with a blue. Just gotta figure out the right shade of blue.” 

Both his eyebrows went up a little higher as his mouth opened a little, his expression one of realization. “Ooooooh.” He smiled. “I get it. You’re goin’ with the colors from the corsage I gave you the night I proposed? I bet you want sunflowers, too,” he added.

“Too much?” I asked.

“Well …” He frowned. “Damn,” he uttered.

“What?”

He sighed, dropping his head back against his seat. “That just totally ruins the whole chartreuse and fuchsia theme I wanted.” He threw up his hands. “Man, I don’t get nothin’.” I shoved him, laughing and he practically grinned at me, winking. “I love it,” he nodded. “I really do,” he said, his voice soft. 

I smiled. “I was thinking those would be nice, cause they’re part of that special day but I also would like to bring in other stuff. Like earthy and wood tones. Wild flowers … things you’d find out in the Wilds. I know how much you love it out there. I want to bring that into it. And fireflies.” Cayde casually leaned over toward me, still smiling, propping his elbow up on the armrest, resting his cheek in his hand as he listened to me. “I don’t know how we’d do that. Maybe with little soft flickering lights or something, but it’s important. I’d really love to have the fireflies. Hmm … Having the lights, and the reception being outside at the Bazaar … maybe we sh-” I stopped when I noticed just how he was watching and listening to me. I gave him a questioning look and his smile broadened. “Keep going,” he said with a nod. “Maybe we should what?” 

“Um …” The way he was looking at me … What was I saying? Oh! “Maybe … maybe we should have the ceremony later in the afternoon. Around sunset? It’d be really pretty. Then, when we get back to the Tower, it’ll be dark, and all the lights and lanterns will be lit up.”

He gave me another little nod. “Sounds perfect,” he murmured, a dreamy quality to his voice and expression. 

“Why do you keep looking at me like that?” I asked, smiling shyly, feeling myself blush a little.

He leaned over further and kissed my cheek. “I’m happy. Seein’ you finally get into it. Not that I ever thought you weren’t. But now … the vibe aboutchya’s different. You’re like … _really_ excited.”

I felt a little bad then. “I wasn’t ever not excited, Cayde,” I started to explain and he lifted a finger to my lips. “Shh. He hushed. “That’s nothin’ to apologize for. I know you were. And I know how you are. I know cause I was the same way in the beginning. And I don’t mean with the wedding. I mean bein’ a Guardian. I did the whole ‘keepin’ myself at a distance’ thing for a long time. It’s hard to override that. Even when you want to. I also know the feeling that we’re already married was part of that. And … well … you keep it all hidden a hell of a lot better than me, but I know the prison stuff is still givin’ ya nightmares from time to time.” I averted his eyes. “I never forgot what you told me, Ais,” he said, pulling my attention back to him. “When you said - ” he reached over and took my hand. “When you said you were afraid, as soon as we got married, something bad was gonna happen and take me away again.” He lifted my hand to his lips and kissed it, then softly pet it. “Nothin’s gonna take me away from you. Ever.”

I smiled. “I sometimes forget you know me as well as I know you,” I murmured.

He nodded. “I know you handle things much differently than I do. That, if I pushed ya on it, it wasn’t gonna make you close off, it was gonna piss you off. And I’ve seen you angry. Thankfully not at me,” he added and I chuckled a little while he smiled. “Point bein’, beautiful, I knew you’d come around. So don’t feel bad. The prison got to both of us. We just dealt with it in our own ways.” I leaned over and hugged him, feeling him hug me back. “Glad to see you excited, though.” 

I smiled and kissed his cheek. “Feels good,” I admitted, nodding.

“Duh,” he shrugged and I laughed.

 

As Cayde and I transmatted down onto the part of the Tangled Shore known as the Jetsam of Saturn, Ghost let us know there was an incoming communication from Spider. 

“Infestations starts small,” the Spider’s deep, gravely voice stated over the comms without so much as a greeting beforehand. “Vermin goes scuttling through your home, and you think, "It was just one …" But the next thing you know, your Shore seethes. Guardians! Hive! And you dream of ways to exterminate them…”

“Did you mean to say that last part out loud?” Cayde asked him, frowning, mocking offense at the statement. The Spider lowly chuckled at the question before continuing.

“Two star-crossed lovers have sullied my Shore: our old friend the Mindbender - may he rest in pieces - and In Anânh, a Hive Brood Queen, traitor to her kin. As you know, Eliksni have crossed lines with the Hive in the past, but never at this scale. I'm told there's a whole nest seething beneath my Shore, and I want it exterminated. Snuff it out, and I'll contemplate your debts to me.” With that, the communication ended.

“Wow,” Cayde uttered. “‘Contemplate’. He’s bein’ generous today,” he said, looking around the area which was, for the most part, fairly quiet. Kind of eerily so.

“Think he’ll keep his word?” I asked.

Cayde huffed and looked at me. “Babe, he’s a mob boss. He’s gonna make sure he gets the better end of the deal. No matter what we do. We’re an asset. If he can keep us workin’ for him, he’ll find a way to do it.”

“Well, look at the upside,” I said, and he raised his eyebrows at me, waiting. “We get a little more payback out of the deal.”

He smirked and Ghost materialized Cayde’s sparrow. He hopped on, waiting for me to get on behind him. “Where to, little buddy?” Cayde asked him as I slipped my arms around his waist.

“Up ahead. Not far. Hellrise Canyon. Looks like there’s a high number of Fallen there, too,” Ghost said.

“Probably trynna push the Hive out. Good luck to ‘em,” Cayde surmised as he revved the sparrow. “All set?” He asked over his shoulder. “Ready,” I nodded, and Cayde sped us off to where the tracker indicated.

Cayde followed the path through the grasses and over an eroded metal bridge, leading us to the nest. We only encountered a few Acolytes that tried shooting at us but I took care of them, Cayde cheering - maybe a bit over-dramatically - at my improvement. “You’re gettin’ real good, babe!” 

“Well, like I said, I got a damn fine teacher,” I told him, giving his waist a squeeze.

“Damn fine teacher, hm? Should I be jealous?” Cayde asked.

“Oh, totally,” I nodded. “He is just the sexiest, wittiest, most impressive gunslinger in the whole Sol System,” I said. 

“The whole Sol System, huh? Even better than Shin Malphur?”

“How do you know it’s not Shin Malphur?” I asked, smirking.

“Cause you said sexiest and wittiest, too,” Cayde chuckled.

“Yeah,” I nodded. “Marcus is so dreamy,” I joked.

“Get off my sparrow!” Cayde demanded, sounding scandalized, trying so hard not to laugh and failing, actually snorting!

I snickered and hugged him a bit tighter. “You know no one even compares to you, handsome. You’re the absolute best.” 

I felt Cayde’s hand lay over my arms around his waist and give them a loving squeeze. “Thanks, beautiful,” he murmured and I felt the elation and pride radiating through him.

“Love you,” I murmured back, squeezing his waist.

The sweet moment was sidelined as we came up on the entrance to the nest, hearing a loud guttural roar almost too late. An Ogre was guarding the entrance and spotted us just as we cleared a large jagged rock formation jutting out of the already rough terrain, blasting us with a powerful beam of Void Light from its head.

“Whoa!” Cayde startled and quickly jerked the sparrow back and to the left, dodging us behind the rock - unfortunately, not in time to spare the sparrow from getting a nice blast to its back end! We jumped off, Cayde’s sparrow smoking and on fire! He frowned at it and cast an annoyed glare in the Ogre’s direction. 

“Here,” I said and tossed Cayde my rocket launcher as Ghost took care of the sparrow. “I’ll distract it,” I told him and dashed out the other side of the rock, throwing up my shield. It wouldn’t last long at all, but long enough to give Cayde time to get the shot without getting hit. As soon as the Ogre spotted me, it roared again and sent a constant blast at my shield, cracking it almost immediately. Meanwhile Acolytes started swarming the area, apparently hearing the roaring, and began attacking us from behind. I held up the shield as best I could while I shot back at the Acolytes, trying to keep them at bay. The Ogre’s blast was almost too powerful, though. I had only a few more seconds before I knew the shield was going to give out. 

While I continued to shoot at the Acolytes, I heard Cayde fire the rocket launcher and the blast that soon followed. The Ogre roared and I felt a quick grab and yank on my arm as Cayde pulled me back behind the rock. “Whoa! Wha -?” I heard the Ogre roar even louder, sounding _really_ pissed off! “You missed?” I asked, stunned. Cayde didn’t miss.

“Pffft! No!” He scoffed, reloading the launcher. “Course not. Hit it dead center. It just didn’t go down. Why I pulled you outta the way.”

“Hmm. Already a challenge and we haven’t even gotten inside yet,” I smirked, reloading my cannon. 

“I know! This is so great!” Cayde excitedly cheered. “Let’s trade sides. Confuse the hell out of it.”

“Won’t be hard. They’re pretty dumb,” I chuckled, moving over to his side, while he took mine.

“Mmm. And the dumber they are, the harder they fall,” Cayde said. 

“That’s ‘the bigger they are, the harder they fall’, handsome,” I corrected. smirking.

“Nope. Definitely dumber,” he nodded. "I’ll prove it,” he said and motioned me to throw up the shield and distract it.

I put up the shield, getting the Ogre’s attention as I teased it from behind, waving at it. It roared and blasted at my shield, the force cracking it instantly. I flinched backward a bit, startled. This thing was strong! Cayde didn’t waste any time and took the shot as I ducked back behind the rock, my shield shattering to nothing. I heard a loud, gargling roar that gave way to a painful screech, then heard a loud crash. … Followed by repetitive rumbling thumps that shook the ground, gradually getting closer. 

“That still didn’t do it?” I asked, eyebrows raised as I scurried over to Cayde, thinking the thing was lumbering toward us. I noticed Cayde stand up as I got closer, lowering the rocket launcher, and I cautiously stood up straight, following Cayde’s gaze as I stepped out beside him. He put his arm out in front of me, stopping me from going further, just as the Ogre’s body slowly rolled down the hill past us and finally came to a stop at the bottom, a tangled mess of floppy limbs. “See?” He said, gesturing at the body. “Dumber they are, harder they fall.”

“That wasn’t a fall, that was a roll,” I told him. “That doesn’t count.”

“That so counts!” Cayde protested. “Look at the distance and slope! That counts as a fall!”

I shook my head, holding my breath so as not to laugh. “Roll,” I managed.

“Fall,” he insisted, then tossed the rocket launcher back to me as he dramatically stuck his flat, ridged nose up in the air and flipped his clock back in riotous indignation, then trudged his way up the hill.

I couldn’t help it, I laughed! “By the way, I’m leading. Sixteen to one.”

He paused and looked back at all the dead Acolytes and frowned, then pointed at the Ogre. “Look at the size-a that thing! That’s gotta count for like … twenty.”

“Twenty?!” I asked, taken aback. “You crazy?! No way!” I said, catching up to him.

“Okay, okay. Seventeen,” he attempted, looking at me hopefully. 

I crossed my arms and arched my eyebrow at him. He couldn’t see my face through the helmet but I knew he knew the look I had. “I’ll give you ten,” I told him.

“Ten?!”

“I was gonna give you five,” I countered. “But now you only need six to catch me and not eleven.”

He frowned and sighed, then glanced at the entrance to the nest over his shoulder before looking back at me. He gave a nod. “Okay,” he casually said as he shifted his weight to one leg, hip jutting out while he spun the Ace on his finger. He smirked and a sly look passed over his face. “What are we bettin’?”

“Betting?”

“Yeah,” he nodded. “Whaddeya want if you win?”

“Oooh, we’re doing this, huh?”

He nodded.

I smirked and pondered for a moment, lightly tapping my finger against my helmet near my chin as I thought. “Foot massage,” I finally said. He gave great foot massages! I wasn’t going to pass one up if I could get one! “What about you?”

“That’s it? Just a foot massage?” He asked.

“Yeah, why?” I shrugged.

“I’ll give ya a foot massage anytime you want. No need to waste a bet on it. Come on. Get creative!” He encouraged. 

I raised my eyebrows in surprise. Well. This just got interesting. I thought for a few moments, trying to come up with something … different. “Okay, I got it,” I finally said with a nod “Karaoke at the Cantina. And you have to sing ‘Never Gonna Give You Up’,” I grinned. 

“You’re Rick Rolling me?!” He asked, eyes widening, sounding and looking offended as he gestured at himself like I’d just betrayed him. “Oh, that’s low,” he said, leaning back a bit. He was joking, I knew. I could tell he was amused and a bit impressed with my choice. Cayde actually had a pretty good singing voice. First time I’d heard it was on a Strike on Nessus when he broke back into the feed Failsafe had cut off. He’d just sung the tonal scale, amused at hearing the sound of his voice back over the comms again, but it had caught my attention and sent a little thrill through me I’d never quite felt before. The next time I’d heard it was the morning after he’d stayed at my apartment for the first time - after the bad headache the Cabal had given him and he’d spent the night on my couch. I’d woken up to hearing him in the kitchen, making coffee, quietly humming and singing some random little song.

I pulled myself out of the memory and wickedly chuckled, excited at the thought of not only hearing him sing again, but the reason! “You said get creative,” I shrugged.

He sighed. “Yeah. Yeah, I did, didn’t I?” He nodded. “Alright then. If you wanna play it that way … If I win … Still karaoke at the Cantina. Aaaaaand … “ he pointed a finger at me, “ _you_ gotta sing Never Gonna Give You Up … but in a _pink_ dress.”

My jaw dropped inside my helmet. “What?” I asked. I hadn’t seen that coming! I hated pink clothes! “Oh, come on. That’s lower than low,” I protested. “That’s lower than Rick Rolling!”

He chuckled. “Hey, baby, all’s fair in love and war.”

“All’s fair, huh?” I asked. “Okay. Well, I’m amending my bet, then, to the same terms as yours.”

“Uhhh … what?”

“Yeah. Same terms,” I nodded. “If I win, you've got to wear a pink dress, too.”

He pressed his lips together and frowned, narrowing his eyes at me then stood up straighter and stuck his hand out toward me. “Deal.”

“Deal,” I nodded, taking his hand, shaking it. He smirked, then his hand tightened around mine and he pulled me against his chest with a hard thump. I grunted. “Uhhh … yes?” I asked, feeling my eyes widen in surprise.

He leaned his face in close to my helmet, almost like a predator staring down his prey. I’d never seen him like this before. I was both intimidated and turned on! What had gotten into him?! “I’m gonna get you the pinkest, sequiniest, frilliest dress I can find,” he threatened.

I felt a grin tug at my lips. Oooooh! “Oh, handsome,” I scoffed and gave him a playful shove back. “You should be more worried about yourself and the tiered fringy dress I have in mind for you. I do love it when you shimmy those sexy hips of yours.”

His eyebrows rose. “This just got really weird and really sexy,” he quickly said, sounding impressively stunned. “I don’t know if I wanna beat you now, or let you win so I can shimmy for ya.”

“Oh, well, you can shimmy for me any time you like,” I purred, walking my fingers up the center of his chest.

He lowly chuckled, giving me a wanton look just as I sensed something from him. Something fleeting and very faint, but it was there. Something … akin to … relief. It had taken me a little while but things suddenly came together. Listening to me talk about the wedding, the slightly silly attitude, the bet, and now this? He was using it all as covers - as distractions. His armor was up. This was really bothering him. The whole thing with Hiraks had really gotten to him and had lingered. He and I both knew what had happened wasn’t his fault, though. Hiraks had made him stab me. But I knew Cayde still felt awful about it. Like he just knew there must have been _something_ he could have done to stop it. But there hadn’t been. It wasn’t his fault and I didn’t blame him. Not at all. And realizing his armor was up - that he was feeling so much more under it all - I wanted to offer him some form of comfort. I wanted to reassure him. But I knew this would be a bad time. The armor was up for a reason. He needed to focus. He wanted to see this through. And if I said something now, it would only upset him, not help him. So, instead, I smirked again, even though he couldn’t see it, and pressed as close to him as I could. “How ‘bout you shimmy for me when we get home, hm? All around the bedroom.” He sucked in a little shuddering breath and I sensed the giddy excitement well up within him. My smirk became another grin. “Is that a yes?”

He nodded. “Oh yeah,” he rumbled, then leaned in as close as he could, easing his face around the side of my helmet. “Thank you, Ais,” he murmured, a soft and grateful seriousness to his tone. 

He’d picked up on me figuring out what he was doing and was grateful I hadn’t said anything. I softly smiled and gave a little nod, affectionately caressing his hip in acknowledgement, then eased back. “Ready?” I asked.

“If by ready you mean ready to totally win this bet, then hell ya!” He spun his cannon in his finger again and gave me a wink, then turned and started running for the entrance. “Chop - chop, baby! I know that armor's heavy and I already got a head start on ya!” He taunted over his shoulder.

I groaned, then chuckled, and hurried to catch up!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really do enjoy writing them being a little silly with each other! I'm biased, I know, but I think it makes for a wonderful and lasting relationship! <3 More soon!


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter that didn't go as I'd originally drafted but I like better than what I'd had. Hope you all enjoy it too and, as always, more as soon as I can! :)

I loved being on missions with Cayde. It was so different than the years before when he’d just be over the comms, chatting with me. I not only got to listen to his witty commentary but got to see him in action, too! And it never got old. I was still amazed at how fast he could really be. And not just on his feet, but intuitively. It was like he just seemed to know where an enemy was going to come from or what they were going to do and he was already prepared for them. I guess there was definitely something to be said about experience - and Cayde had centuries worth!

“You’re trailin’ behind, baby!” He said as he rejoined me on a rise of rocks overlooking a cavern now full of dead Hive. He reloaded his cannon and I smiled at him, forgetting I had my helmet on and he couldn’t see my expression. “It’s alright. Worth it to get to watch you.”

His eyebrows rose as he clicked the barrel of his gun into place, a sly look working its way over his features. He slid closer and pressed up against me, slipping his arm around my waist. “You love watching me, huh? Love watchin’ me enough it’ll cost ya havin’ to sing in a pink dress in front of our friends?” He teased.

I pet his chest, snickering. “So worth it.”

“Hmm. So all I ever gotta do to win a bet against ya is just distract you with a few of my signature Hunter moves, huh? Maybe wiggle the hips a little?” He asked, wiggling against me as he said that.

I laughed. “Well, I don’t know if you’ll win, handsome,” I said, affectionately trailing my finger down the center of his chest, following the crease in the leather. “We still have more Hive to go, but … it’ll definitely give you an advantage,” I purred.

“Oooh, I like advantages,” he cooed back, waggling his eyebrows at me before giving the side of my helmet a sweet little nuzzle. “I have a feelin’, though, no matter what happens with the bet, we’re both gonna win tonight,” he whispered to me, then dashed off, lowly chuckling, leaving me a little too warm in my armor! 

“He really is a cheeky, self-confident son-of-a-bitch, isn’t he?” Ghost asked. 

“The comms open, little buddy! I heard that!” Cayde called as I laughed so hard, I was doubled over.

 

When we got a little further in, we saw the Eliksni had crashed one of their ships into the side of the cavern below the Shore while another hovered not too far out, firing into the chaos, a couple dozen Fallen actively attacking the Hive. “Huh. Looks like they aren’t too happy about the little union, either,” Cayde muttered peeking out over a rock we were using for cover as we reloaded our weapons. Neither the Hive nor the Fallen had noticed us, both sides too busy fighting the other.

“I don’t see a way around,” I said, scanning the area.

“That’s okay. Through works,” Cayde gleefully said and jumped up and started shooting. “Fifty-eight! Fifty-nine! SIXTY!”

“You’re keeping tabs, right?” I asked Ghost.

“Yup.”

“He’s winning, isn’t he?” 

“He is.”

I grumbled and hurried out into the fray, running ahead of Cayde while he cleared out the Fallen, hoping to get a few Thrall and Acolytes to catch myself up to him.

“Oh - ho - ho! You think that’s gonna save ya?!” Cayde called from behind me, having jumped up on top of the crashed ship. He started shooting past me, laughing as he took out the group of Thrall that had started charging me, as well as some Acolytes, before I could get more than a couple shots off.

“Hey!” I sputtered, looking back at him. “That’s not fair, you jerk!” I laughed. “Those totally count as mine!” He was such a dirty cheater! He cackled at my frustration and hopped off the ship, running toward me. He playfully slapped my butt as he zipped past me in a flash, making me jump and yelp in surprise! “Oh! Okay, now I’m not playing!” I called after him, rubbing my butt before I chased after him through the tunnels, both of us laughing as we ducked and weaved about the pathways and jumped over rocks, taking out Hive, all while tagging each other with playful little pinches, tickles, and gropes as we’d catch up to or pass each other. It got to the point where counting off shots while trying not to get killed in the process, all in the midst of the fun, was impossible for us to keep track of, so Ghost took over the score-keeping. We were being wild and crazy and likely totally unprofessional as Guardians, yes, but we were having too much fun, considering why we were there, and it had cheered us both up!

I knew Cayde didn’t like to let it show how much what happened with Hiraks bothered him and I knew part of that was because he knew it bothered me, too. More than I was letting on or willing to admit. We both wanted to be as reassuring for each other right now as possible and saw this as a form of therapy.

An … odd form of therapy. But it was helping some.

Of course the fun sort of came to a screeching halt when we encountered In Anânh, herself. 

“Y’know, I kinda imagined she’d be bigger,” Cayde confessed as we skidded behind a twisted and hardened cone of Hive resin and rock just as In Anânh screeched at us and cast a huge blast of Solar energy, attempting to either kill us or drive us out of her nest. “Okay, that’s new,” Cayde said of the blast. “Back at ya, screechy!” He hollered and jumped out, engulfed in flames as he spun through the air and flung burning blades at her. 

In Anânh screamed and shook herself in pain at the blades that had embedded themselves in her, then dove down into the ground, disappearing. I made my way over to the hole and peered down into it as Cayde stepped up beside me and looked down as well, the flames around him fading out. He made a low whistling sound. “Bit of a drop.” 

“I’ve never heard of a Brood Queen so close to the surface," Ghost said. “Mission reports from the Hellmouth on Luna don’t even mention them. You ever encounter one when you were on the Moon, Cayde?”

“Nope. I never went far enough in to. Only one I know of who might have come across one is short, dark, and creepy,” Cayde said.

“Short, dark, and creepy?” I asked.

“Eris,” Cayde clarified. “You still got a feed to the ship, little buddy?” 

“Yes,” Ghost replied. “This isn’t like Mars in the Clovis Bray facility. My feed isn’t broken. I can transmat us out.”

“Good,” Cayde nodded and set a hand on my shoulder. “Help me out here,” he said and motioned me over to the other side of the hole. 

“What are we doing?” I asked, but figured it out as he handed me some explosives. “Ah.” 

“Spread ‘em out around the area,” he told me, pointing around the large space as he started setting one up. 

“These won’t blow up the whole Shore, I hope,” I joked, chuckling as I headed over to another part of the cavern and started placing them. He snorted. “No. Incendiary explosives meant to set fire,” he explained, then moved to set another one up. “They’ll burn this place down and destroy anything left of the nest, but they won’t hurt the Shore. Might feel like an earthquake just happened, though … rattle Spider a bit. But he could do with a bit of rattling.” 

I chuckled again. “You’re going to have to tell me how you ended up meeting him one of these days,” I said.

“Eh, not much to tell, really,” Cayde said, crouching down with another explosive, setting it. “Was doin’ a job movin’ some supplies through the Shore for the Awoken. This was back when this place was more parta the Reef and the Hive and Cabal hadn’t landed here. The Fallen that had aligned themselves with the Queen, more or less, called it home. Sort of a safe-port for ‘em. Still dangerous, cause not all the Houses got along, but safer than Earth anyway.” He moved to set up the last explosive he had as I neared him with the last of mine. “Shiro was with me, helpin’ out - this was when Andal was the Hunter Vanguard.” I gave a little nod, smiling over at him, happy to hear him mention his friend without trouble. “So, after we were done, we stopped in the bar - I think you know the one. It’s an ether bar but they served drinks in there, too.”

“Oh, you mean the one not far from where Spider’s staying now? In that same complex?”

“Yeah, that one,” Cayde nodded and finished up, standing, dusting his hands off as he came over to me, watching as I finished securing the last explosive. He looked at it then around the area and nodded his approval. “Anyway, we wanted a drink before hittin’ the road, so we went in, expectin’ we’d walk into this seedy type bar - like so many others we’d been into - only with Fallen and Awoken. I mean, music was blastin’, we heard a bunch noise, sounded like a good time, so why not?” He shrugged as I stood and leaned back against the wall beside me to give him my full attention. “Instead, what we walked into was a whole bunch of Dregs and Vandals gettin’ tipsy over pipes of ether while making bets, dancin’ around, and gettin inta scrapes over who knows what. Now, you can imagine how awkward it was when a whole bar of Fallen go dead quiet - even the music stoped - and dozens-a sets of four glowin’ eyes look up to see a couple Exo’s walk in. It was like those old Western films I like when the dude walks inta the bar and everyone stops and stares at him, sizin’ him up.” I chuckled a little and nodded, knowing exactly what he meant. “So, we looked around, I may’ve tried to make nice by sayin’ hi and givin’ a little wave and askin’ what was good to drink, but that didn’t go over too good. All I got was a few snarls and narrow-eyed stares, a couple sorta makin’ their way toward us, lookin none too friendly, so Shiro and I decided to just back out nice and slow. I mean, clearly, we were in the _wrong_ bar. That’s when Spider hollered out for us to stop where we were. We looked around, cause we hadn’t seen him at first. He’d been up on the other side of the room, sorta in the dark. But, when he leaned forward, the top half-a him comin’ into the light … whoo. We weren’t expectin’ that. I mean, the years and his legs have changed him. He ain’t as big or imposing as he usta be. But, in his day?” Cayde shook his head. 

“What happened to his legs?” I asked. “I noticed he has them covered up.”

Cayde nodded. “Yeah. I guess he got into fight with his brother, or so I heard. Don’t know much else,” he shrugged as I nodded. “Anyway, Spider waves his arms out wide like this,” he said, making the gesture himself, stretching his arms way out to his sides. “And, in this big, billowing voice, he says: ‘Come now! Is that any way to treat guests to our humble establishment?’ And the whole center of the room parts as he motions us to come over to him. Shiro and I look at each other then make our way over and, the whole time, we’re playin’ it cool and relaxed but, in my head, I’m thinkin’: ‘shit, shit, shit, what are we into now?’. I’m scannin’ the area incase we gotta get outa Dodge real quick, but not seeing too many options. Turned out, though, bein’ Exos was a real good thing that day. He likes us.”

“Oh, really?” I asked, surprised.

Cayde nodded. “Yeah. We’re like the Earth artwork and the dead Ghosts he collects. Artifacts from a bygone era. He’s fascinated by all that stuff. And we Exos - like you know - some of us have memories of back then. He likes the stories. Likes hearin’ about what humanity was once like. So Shiro and I spent a couple good hours sittin’ there with him, drinkin’ and talkin’ about what we remembered. Or what he thinks we remembered, anyway.”

“You can spin a hell of a yarn,” I smiled and he chuckled softly, nodding. “Eh, it wasn’t all embellished,” he said. “But I knew a couple little flashes of memory wouldn’t keep us safe in there, he wanted to hear stories, so I spun that yarn and Shiro helped. The ol’ arachnid took a likin’ to us from that day on. And that’s how I got to meet the Spider.”

“Not at all what I expected,” I admitted.

“Oh? What’d you expect?”

“You made a bet or crossed someone wrong and he was the guy you had to pay the debt to,” I said matter-of-factly.

“Ah,” Cayde nodded, pointing a finger at me. “That - that was just as likely, yes.”

We laughed, then checked everything over one last time before jumping down the hole and following the broken ledges through a tunnel into another cave. “What is that?” I asked, looking down into a small pit below us, seeing swirling purple light and what looked like spikes sticking up from it.

“Huh. Looks like a form of Void Light she’s usin’ as defenses,” Cayde said, looking at it, himself.

“I used to think Guardians were the only ones to wield the Light. But in the last couple years …” I shook my head. 

“Starting to see the bigger picture, huh?” Cayde asked me and I nodded. “Yup. It gets a whoooooole lot more complicated when you start seeing that bigger picture. Things ain’t so black and white and the Light ain’t always used for good or by those who’d use it for good.”

“Was that something you learned joining the Vanguard or something you figured out long ago?” I asked him.

He smiled a little and lovingly held the chin of my helmet in his fingers as he studied me for a moment. “Long ago, baby,” he murmured. “Come on,” he said, motioning me with a tilt of his head to follow as he took point.

I had a feeling there was much more to his encounters with the Darkness that he either recalled or had dreams about that he hadn’t really talked about with me. Or anyone. Not that he had to. I wasn’t out to know every single thing about him or about his past. He was entitled to his secrets and to not have every aspect of his personal life exposed, even to me. What I knew, I knew. He’d shared those things by telling me because he wanted to, showed me through his journals, or I’d learned because of talks after his nightmares. Whatever he hadn’t told me I never took as him hiding anything. They were simply things that he hadn’t shared. Especially the deeply emotional things that had been terrifying. He tried sometimes but … they were difficult and I didn’t like putting him through that. And, knowing Cayde as I did, some things he kept secret because he felt they were his burden to bear and he wanted to keep the people he loved safe. I would never fault him for that.

“Watch it, we got Shriekers!” Cayde told me. I ran up to him and skidded down onto my knee, pulling out my sniper rifle as he did his. “I got the one on the right,” I told him. He gave a quick nod and took aim at the other one, firing just as it opened while I shot the one closest to us just as it started its attack. 

Once both Shriekers were dead, we focused on the Ogre that came lumbering out and roaring at us, then cleared the area of the Thrall, Acolytes, and a handful of Knights that followed. We ran into In Anânh once more - or, rather, a shade of herself - as we came up to a bridge over what appeared to be a bottomless drop below that, no doubt, went through the rest of the asteroid and opened up into space. The Shade tried attacking us by making more Void traps pop up under us. Cayde managed to jump back out of the way in time but me, I got hit pretty good, feeling the searing, burning cold radiate through me as the Void spikes burst up into me. The pain in my feet and legs made me stumble and fall to my knees behind a large stalagmite once I managed to get out of the way, myself. After that, I felt it spread all over, like wasp stings everywhere on my body. I let out a cry, despite myself, my eyes tearing.

“Ais!” Cayde rushed over, ducking behind the rock formation beside me to check on me. “You alright?” He asked as he looked me over, despite, I’m sure, knowing the answer.

All my muscles ached with a terrible cramping pain, making me tremble and double over as I grit my teeth against it, trying to catch my breath. 

I still don’t know if I was just angry at myself for letting myself get hit by the trap and that sparked the rest, or if the anger I’d had directed at Hiraks just couldn’t be held in any more, but I snapped.

“Ais?” Cayde tentatively asked, his hand laying on my back. I saw Ghost’s light shining on me form the safety of Cayde’s pack, scanning me as he healed me. I turned my head, looking out beyond the rock where I knew In Anânh’s Shade was hovering just before the bridge and I grabbed up my grenade launcher, not waiting for Ghost to finish healing me. I stiffly got to my feet and staggered out from behind the rock. “I. Hate. Void Light, bitch!” I hollered, firing off the launcher, knocking her back a few times, injuring her pretty good, before she shrieked at us and disappeared. Groups of Thrall started clawing their way up out of the earth on the other side of the bridge and came charging up over it at us. I threw a flame grenade, the explosion casting a line of fire down the center of the path. Most of the Thrall died on contact as they tried running through it but a few were a little smarter than the others and leapt over the flames, coming right at me. I walked into them and punched every single one that was left, each blow from my fists breaking their necks.

When they were all dead and no more came crawling up out of the ground, I relaxed some and caught my breath again, having made it to the other side of the bridge. I turned to find Cayde, seeing him leaning up against a large claw-shaped pillar, arms and legs casually crossed in front of him as he looked at me. “Feel better?” He asked, not seeming the least bit phased by what I’d done.

I shook my head, still panting some, and sat down. “I hate what he did to you. I hate what he made me do to you because of it,” I uttered, feeling my throat tighten and my eyes sting. “I can’t stop seeing your face in my mind before I pulled the trigger.” I swallowed and forced it all down, taking another breath as I rested my arms on my knees, staring down at the ground between my feet. I heard footsteps come up to me before Cayde crouched down and put his arms around me, pulling me into his chest as best he could with all the armor. “It’s alright, baby. I’m here,” he whispered, not saying anything else. He didn’t have to. He just sat with me for a few minutes and held me.

Ghost finished healing me while we sat and, once I felt better, Cayde helped me to my feet. “Let’s finish it,” I told him and he nodded, the two of us making our way down the steep drop into the main part of the nest.

 

Splitting herself in two before us, we faced In Anânh and her Shade one last time, her duel forms using both Solar and Void powers to try and kill us while more Hive appeared and attacked us form all sides. Ducking fiery blasts and jumping out of the way from more Void spikes appearing out of the ground, all while getting shot at, Cayde and I gave up using our weapons and ended up combining our Light, each of us using a mix of my hammers and his blades to level every last Hive in the nest and kill In Anânh and her Shade. 

Standing back to back in the center of it all, Cayde and I scanned the area as the last of the Hive fell to our flames. As for the nest, our Light had set fires all around, the large yellowy sacks jutting out from oozing growths on the walls bursting from the heat, the contents steaming as the worms inside writhed and died. When our flames ebbed, Cayde turned and faced me. “Think it’s time to go,” he nodded and tossed what was left of the incendiary grenades to the ground. “Take us out, little buddy,” he told Ghost, putting his arm around me as Ghost transmatted us out and back to the surface.

Finding ourselves back at the original transmat point, we both looked off toward the nest entrance in the distance and Cayde pulled a remote transmitter out of his belt. He looked at me then over to the nest and pressed the button.

There was a weak tremble to the earth beneath our feet followed by a quiet, echoing rumble that seemed to move through it in pulsing waves, the sound gradually growing until a billowing burst of flame shot out of the nest entrance like the back end of a jet engine, casting and angry orange light all around the area, a cloud of blackened smoke rising up into the atmosphere. The Hive that had been milling around above ground and outside of their crashed ship cried out in what sounded like surprise and fear before they all ran away, going back into their holes. I spotted a few fast moving dark ether trails making a break for it as well. Apparently some Scorn had been in the area. Cayde pulled his gun out and, as they reformed away from the perceived danger, Cayde shot them then reholstered his gun, turning his gaze back to watch the fire burn.

“Are you two alright?” Ghost gently asked us and Cayde looked at me. Dangers out of sight, I pulled my helmet off and caressed his cheek as I looked into his eyes. He took my hand in his and kissed my palm through the glove and nodded. “Right as the rain,” he softly answered and I smiled at him before he kissed my forehead, putting his arms back around me, the two of us watching the fire, letting our anger at Hiraks and the helplessness of that moment in his throne world die away with the flames.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're wondering about who won ... Well ... you'll find out eventually, don't worry. ;)


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. Managed two chapters in two days! Nice! :D

“Oh, don’t get me wrong,” Cayde said, sitting with his feet up on the conference table, his chair pushed back onto its two back legs as he precariously balanced himself. “The Hive have always been aggressive and dangerous, yeah. But Ais tossed out a flame grenade that usually takes out Thrall no problem. They just run into it like mindless idiots and foof! Ash. But I watched somma them watch the other Thrall then jump _over_ it to get to her. They’ve never done that before. Acolytes, Knights, sure, they might. But Thrall? They ain’t smart. They’re just basic bottom feeders meant to be expendable.” 

“Are you saying you think they’re getting smarter?” Zavala asked.

“That would contour with what Eris has been reporting,” Ikora nodded as she looked over at Zavala, both of their expressions troubled.

“Hey, where is creepy, anyway?” Cayde asked, taking his feet off the table, the front of his chair dropping back onto all fours as he sat up to take a drink from his coffee cup. “Haven’t heard so much as a doom or gloom outta her in a while.”

“She’s been on the Moon for the last few months. The reports she’s been sending back have been getting progressively worse and more troubling,” Ikroa told him.

“Everything is bad and troubling by Eris standards,” Cayde said, leaning back in his chair again.  
  
“Cayde, this is serious,” Zavala told him. “Eris’s reports coincide with the aggressive behavior you and Aislin encountered, as well as reports from Guardians on Titan and Mars.”

“What’s going on on Titan and Mars?” I asked from my own seat beside Cayde. “Same thing?”

“Very similar, yes,” Ikora nodded. “They’re becoming more bold, vicious, even, in their attack patterns. Also greater numbers.”

“Meaning there are nests we haven’t gotten to,” I said. “On both places.”

Zavala gave a nod. “We simply don’t have the numbers to keep up. As you’ve just seen, a Brood Queen can produce large numbers at a time. Left undisturbed … I’m afraid we’re quickly becoming greatly outnumbered all over.”

I nodded. “Titan, Mars, the Dreaming City … plus that small number on the Shore,” I said, glancing at Cayde who gave a nod. “Then we’ve got what we know are here.” I looked at Ikora. “And you said Eris is reporting stuff from Luna?” She nodded and I picked up Cayde’s cup and took a sip of the coffee as I leaned back in my chair, letting the hot liquid soothe me some as I looked down a the mug, my thumb idly tracing the letters of Cayde’s name printed on it. Chess, I thought. It really was the ultimate strategy game, and one that had been around since long before the Golden Age and the Collapse. I’d played it with Zavala a few times, but always lost. He said I had the right ideas, made good plays, but his years of experience always had him one or two steps ahead of me. He knew what I was going to do before I did it, or gradually ushered me into a move that worked to his advantage. That didn’t mean I walked away truly losing, though. Playing with him had given me a better idea of how enemies plotted and picked off the opposition. Worked to gradually isolate the head of the other side until they had no where to go. And that’s what the Hive was doing all while increasing their numbers. They’d taken advantage of Ghaul’s attack on us dropping our numbers while limiting the places we could go. They were gradually isolating us. “Chess,” I said out loud, glancing over at Zavala.

“Indeed,” Zavala uttered as he nodded, his features looking grave. “And they nearly have us in check.”

“Oh, I think we’re _in_ check at this point,” Cayde said, reaching for his cup. I handed it to him and he drank some of the coffee before giving it back to me. “What we need to do is get out. Can we buy a vowel?” I snorted, smirking a bit at the attempted joke while Ikora arched a patient eyebrow and Zavala rolled his eyes. “No, seriously, though,” Cayde said, and sat back up. “Look, chess ain’t my game, but that doesn’t mean I don’t know how to play or recognize when we’re in deep shit. They know they got us backed into a corner with limited options. The way we’ve been doin’ things to get the advantage back is fanning out, working to take back the places they’ve started taking over. They were probably counting on that. Insteada focusing on and wasting time, effort, resources, and Guardians elsewhere, why not concentrate on the source?”

“Attack the Moon,” Ikora said, her expression saying the idea was likely the best option, but highly risky.

Cayde nodded. “Why not? Blocking ain’t doin’ it. Attacking the pawns is just resulting in more taking their place and wearin’ us down. So I say we pool everything we got and go right to the source.” He poked his finger into the top of the table. “They got a good look at our hand, but they don’t know all the cards we’re holdin’. Plus, we got a couple ace’s up our sleeve.” He glanced at me. “No pun intended, beautiful.” I smiled at him. “Drifter’s got Guardians banking Motes. We should let him keep at it with whatever Guardians we can spare. It does keep our numbers thin, but we need the insurance. And it’s a card I don’t think the Hive know we’re carryin’. The other one is Ais and I. Not to gloat, but we can do things with our combined Light others can’t.” 

Zavala took in a long, slow, careful breath and let it out as he leaned back in his own chair, hands planted on the edge of the table as he weighed the options. 

“He’s right,” Ikora told him.

Zavala nodded. “I know. Even with the advantages you’re speaking of, Cayde, we aren’t ready. And we’ll need to get ready. Faster than expected. Pool everything we can, keep the Hidden’s eyes on every front. Be prepared for whatever they might throw our way. There are still new Guardians coming in, but not enough to reclaim our numbers. And, those we do have, it would be best to brief on the situation. Only spare those we can to areas that look to be the most dangerous to our position. We’ll back away from the lesser invasions and problems they’re causing and focus on the graver threats.”

“They’ll think we’re still spreading ourselves thin and on the defense instead of preparing an attack,” I stated.

“Yes,” Zavala said.

“What about the Awoken?” Cayde asked. “Petra and the others in the Dreaming City and Reef. Some can’t leave their posts, but there are others I know who are willing to fight. Even though they don’t got the Light, I know they ain’t gonna roll over for the Hive. They wanna fight, we should let them. This system is their home, too. And we’ll need all the help we can get.”

“Agreed,” Zavala said with a regrettable tone in his voice. When I had first met Zavala, he was a far more rigid man. One who didn’t like those without the Light fighting. Not for lack of capability or willingness to sacrifice themselves for others and a future for all of us, but because he felt their deaths as his own failure to do his duty to protect them. However, during the Red War, Hawthorne had been instrumental in reminding Zavala just how tough those without the Light were and that they were no less committed to the fight than us Guardians. With Hawthorne, Amanda, Devrim, Petra, and hosts of others who had stepped up over the years, Zavala had finally changed his stance there. It wasn’t just us Lightbearers who were Guardians.

“Okay!” Cayde clapped his hands together. “So we got a plan!”

“Which we will implement immediately,” Zavala nodded. “Cayde, you and Aislin speak with Drifter. Find out where we are with the Motes and what more can be done _but_ … keep your questioning quiet and as discrete as possible.” 

Cayde and I both frowned at the same time as Ikora leaned over the table, crossing her arms on the surface. “The two of you should know, despite Zavala’s best efforts, and an overall acceptance of the Drifter via Zavala’s assertions that all willing to fight in defense of the city are welcome in the Tower, the Consensus has, nonetheless voted for an inquiry into Drifter’s activities here and his motives behind them to ensure he truly is here to fight along side us. So know - as I’m sure he does - he’s being watched.” She then took a moment, appearing to form her words carefully before giving us her attention again. “This leads into something Zavala and I have been wanting to form the best plan of action for regarding the two of you. Apparently trying to get the upper hand on New Monarchy - while justified - irritated Hideo. He’s been digging into information on the both of you.”

Cayde and I looked at each other then back at Ikora. “On us?” Cayde asked, scoffing, arching an eyebrow. “What’s he think he’s gonna find? My bad gambling habit and debt everyone already knows about and Ais’s … Uh …” He looked at me, frowning as he looked me up and down. “Well … she ain’t got anything they could use.” 

Ikora sighed and nodded. “Actually … the events at the prison piqued Hideo's interest and he’s rattled the Consensus. His own spies apparently saw you being brought in, unconscious after the events there. And I don’t need to tell you a Guardian very rarely comes in that way who hasn’t lost their Ghost. So they went digging.”

Cayde winced a little. “So he suspects somethin’s up and is lookin’ for somethin’ to use against us to get back at us, or to back us off from doin’ anything else?”

“Or at the very least give him rights to watch the two of you more closely - and know he’s doing it - which would impede any further interference from you both,” Zavala added. “Aunor Mahal has been charged with looking into not only Drifter but the two of you.” 

“The Praxic Warlock?” Cayde asked, eyebrows rising. He looked at Ikora, motioning to her. “Isn’t she one-a - ”

“Yes,” Ikora nodded. “She’s one of my Hidden. But they don’t know that. It’s going to be important you both cooperate with her if approached. Even if you don’t like it. She may be one of my Hidden, but she will do her job.” She took a breath and regarded Cayde carefully, like a friend now, above anything else, her features and posture softening. “When we found out what Hideo was up to and that Aunor was charged with looking into both cases, I spoke with her. She is aware of what really happened at the prison.” 

Cayde tilted his head, narrowing his eyes, and tensed a little. I could sense his concern. “She knows about Sundance?” He asked. Ikora nodded. “And what about -”

“The report Ghost gave us, as well as what was retrieved from the Prison, she’s aware of,” Zavala said. “But the after … how you are back in one piece, no one knows, except those of us directly involved. Nothing was recorded regarding any of that.” 

Cayde relaxed. “So … what now?”

“Now,” Ikora said, “we need a convincing and cohesive story as to how you’re alive and healed. One Aunor will believe and can report to the Consensus.”

“So she’s on our side, so to speak, but we still gotta bend things a bit cause, Praxic Order above all else, huh?” Cayde asked.

“Yes,” Ikora nodded.

I licked my lips, my mind having been going over everything while they were talking. “If Hideo had spies watching us come in with Cayde, they’ll likely have seen you leave with him, too, right?” I asked. “When you brought him to us.”

“It’s quite possible,” Ikora nodded.

“Okay, so, we use that. They don’t know where you went, right?” I asked.

“As far as we know, no,” Ikora nodded.

“Alright. So, the story is … Sundance was killed, Cayde severely injured fighting the Barons and Uldren. Petra and I brought him back, Owl sector patched him up as best they could but it wasn’t good enough. He was dying. It’s known you sometimes get visions from the Traveler,” I said to Ikora. “You sought the Traveler’s guidance to save your friend and were given a vision. We had to get Cayde to Io. That’s where the Traveler’s Light healed him and joined our Light through Ghost. And the reports of the surging Light there on that day can corroborate that. As to why? Well … the Traveler works in mysterious ways. But, since they’ll likely want to know why, the best answer is me. I was there with Cayde when it all happened. We tell that part exactly as it happened. When Sundance was killed, my Light was able to hold onto some of Cayde’s as it passed through me.”

“It could work,” Zavala nodded. “The evidence is there to back it up."

“I just wanna make sure you know where stays hidden,” Cayde said, looking between the two of them. “We can deal with the rest, but that, above all else, can’t be known.”

“It won’t be,” Ikora assured. “Not even to Aunor. But that brings us to another issue.”

“Which is?” Cayde asked.

“When you said they don’t have anything on Aislin,” Ikora said.

I frowned, the hairs on the back of my neck standing on end in worry. What had I done? As far as I knew, there was nothing. Cayde looked at me, frowning, then he looked at Ikora and I sensed him tensing again, a deep protectiveness rising. “What are you talkin’ about?” He asked, well … more like demanded. Even Ghost materialized between Cayde and I, twitching with obvious ire at the very suggestion I could have done something that would warrant any accusation, let alone an investigation.

“Granted, Zavala and I know it’s all bullshit,” Ikora said, being blunt, “but Hideo has the rest of the Consensus buzzing about the possibility that you, Aislin, were careless and allowed for Cayde to be placed in harms way, therefore leading to his possible permanent death. Reckless and willful endangerment of a member of the Vanguard and careless endangerment of a Ghost, leading to the Ghost’s death.”

“WHAT?!” Cayde, Ghost, and I all demanded at the same time. I was beyond shocked and, yes, deeply angered by that. I felt a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach and swallowed against the wave of nausea it caused. 

Ikora held her hand up as Cayde seemed about ready to go on an angry rant. “When she first heard about the accusations, Aunor was more than inclined to believe in the possibility of it. Especially considering Aislin barely has a handful of years experience as a Guardian. Aunor was surprised that I would take Aislin’s word about what happened - even with you being alive, Cayde - without a proper investigation. It was always possible Aislin could have lied to you, regardless of an otherwise flawless record.”

“There is no way-!” Cayde began, shaking his head, his voice terse, his body rigid and hands fisted. 

“We know,” Zavala gently told him, putting his hand on Cayde’s arm to try and calm him some. “We know.” All I could do was sit there, feeling stunned. On one hand, I could understand it but, on the other, it was just so preposterous - so out of line …

“I told Aunor I believe Aislin. That I _and_ Zavala had absolutely no reason to doubt her word, not only based on all Aislin has done for us and the city, but her relationship with you. She would never hurt you and I made that clear to Aunor. I also told her I’d viewed the last recordings recovered from Sundance and saw no evidence of any of the accusations from Hideo or any other Consensus members who might agree with him.”

“And?” Cayde asked.

“She viewed them extensively - many times - and came to the same conclusion. The claims are baseless. But she will, no doubt, question you anyway to make sure she’s covered everything. I wanted you both to be prepared.”

I felt shaky. I looked at my hands and arms, resting on the arms of the chair. They weren’t shaking. But I felt that way anyway. I would never hurt Cayde. Not ever. And certainly not intentionally. Still, it made all those feelings of guilt for having left his side come flooding back. For him suffering because I didn’t stay with him. I felt a hand on mine, giving it a squeeze, and looked back down to see Cayde had taken it and was holding it. “Right, so, plan against the Hive set, we start implementing it, Ais and I talk with Drifter, find out what’s happening on that front - keep it on the down low - and if we run inta Mahal, play nice, even if it pisses us off?” Cayde quickly asked. “We done here?”

I hadn’t fully been paying attention but, apparently, Ikora and Zavala had nodded because the next thing I knew, Cayde had me on my feet and was leading me out of the conference room. “We going home?” I asked.

“You want to?” Cayde asked, putting his arm around me, holding me against his side as we walked, the air about him strong and defiant, like he was just looking for someone to challenge him right now so he could have an excuse to punch something.

“I’d just like some air, I think,” I told him.

He nodded and led me through the Hanger. I heard Amanda holler a “Hey, you two!” and felt Cayde twist a bit, giving a wave to her but, otherwise, not stopping or saying anything. We headed up the stairs and out along a catwalk that overlooked the open area where the ships came in and I stopped, standing at the railing, curling my hands around it as I closed my eyes and took a long, deep breath of the gentle incoming wind, and let it out slowly. I felt Cayde slip his arms around me from behind and rest his chin on my shoulder in the little nook where the heavy shoulder pad ended. “I would never - _never_ \- do anything to intentionally hurt you, you know that, right?” I quietly asked.

“Of course I know that,” Cayde replied with a bit of a nod. “Do you? No, no. Let me rephrase that - I know and _believe_ that. Do you?” I chewed on my bottom lip, looking out at the mountains. “Ais?” He gave me a very light, gentle shake. “Hey, kiddo, you with me?”

I turned my head, tilting it so I could look at him out the corner of my eye. “Why didn’t I stay with you?” I asked, not necessarily asking him directly but, more so just asking the question aloud. 

“I jumped down a hole, babe. Besides that, it was a bunch of prisoners that broke out. Low-key stuff I’d handled before and types you’d gone up against before. Neither of us had any reason to think anything that did happen was gonna happen. You didn’t put me in danger, you weren’t negligent. Traveler, the charges Ikora listed off made it sound like I’m a kid with no experience dealin’ with this stuff - and much worse - and you were babysitting me. I’ve been around longer than anyone on that Consensus, even Zavala. I may not remember all my lives and my memories may be broken up and fuzzy, but I sure as hell know I can take care of myself and, if anyone was at fault for how things went down and what happened to Sundance, it’s me. And I’ll live with that.” I opened my mouth and he stopped me. “Don’t you even,” he firmly told me. “We’ve had this talk before. You know how I feel about it. This is on me. I’m the Vanguard. You’re the Guardian. You were doing what you were supposed to be doing. You are not at fault for anything. And I know and believe that you’d never, _ever_ , deliberately put me in danger or hurt me. Vanguard or not. Aunor can do all the investigating she wants. That’s the truth. And she can take that and shove it up Hideo’s ass and anyone else who thinks otherwise.”

I sighed and hugged his arms as I tilted my head into the side of his, closing my eyes. “You need to pull rank on me more often,” I murmured. “This more forceful and direct side of you is a turn on I rarely get to see.” He snorted, giving me a squeeze. “Seriously, though, thank you,” I told him. “I do feel … terrible,” I admitted. “But I think it’s more seeing what you went through than anything. That helpless feeling I had that I couldn’t do more for you. It scared the hell out of me.”

He turned me around and hugged me tight, rocking us both back and forth as I slipped my arms around his neck. “You saved me. You didn’t give up. I wouldn’t be standing here if you had. You did everything, Ais.” 

I smiled and lightly pet the back of his head though his hood as I breathed in his warmth and the familiar and soothing scent of his leather armor and cologne, feeling better.

“Now,” he said, leaning back to look at me. “Ramen, a couple cold beers, comfy clothes, and you and me on the couch watchin’ a movie.” He leaned his face in close to me, narrowing his eyes as he smiled. “And that’s an order, Guardian.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More soon! :D


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah ha! A new chapter! Apologies for the delay. Bad headaches slowed me down, then the release of Shadowkeep - which I think some of you will be happy to know Cayde and Aislin's story will continue into that storyline once this one concludes. I'm already taking notes and making plans as I explore and collect lore! :D
> 
> In the meantime, here's more to For Cayde Part 2 and the answer to the question you've all been wondering .... who won. ;)

“You’re angry,” I quietly murmured, laying against Cayde’s side, my head on his chest, the two of us stretched out together on the couch watching ‘Predator’. Cayde had chosen it for the movie tonight with dinner. We’d actually watched it together once before, early on when he’d first started staying at my apartment. It was a pretty gruesome film in places, but a good one. I liked it and it was actually one of Cayde’s favorites. But I had a feeling it wasn’t so much because it was a favorite he’d chosen it. It had a lot of violence and explosions and seemed to be satisfying his mood to a degree.

When I didn’t hear a response, I lifted my head to look at him and saw his eyes were on the screen, his features somewhat hardened, despite the slow and soft sensation of his fingers lightly caressing up and down my back. “Cayde?”

He jerked a bit, as if startled, and looked at me. “Yeah, babe?”

“You okay?” I asked.

“Oh, yeah, yeah,” he nodded. “Just …” he motioned to the screen as the Predator killed one of the army guys. 

“You didn’t hear what I said, did you?” I asked.

He looked at me again. “Askin’ if I’m okay?” 

I shook my head. “I said you’re angry,” I told him.

“Oh,” he simply said. “Right. You, uh … you can feel that.”

I nodded. 

“Mm,” he grunted with a nod of his own. “Sorry.”

“Why?” I asked.

“Why am I angry?” 

“I know why you’re angry. Why are you sorry?”

“Cause … I forgot you could sense it and I was tryin’ not to worry you?”

I couldn’t help but smirk a little at the protectiveness and he smiled back before turning his head and jutting his chin out toward the screen just as one of the Predators victims got their spine ripped out. “Kinda want to do that to Hideo right now.”

“Yeah,” I agreed with a nod, watching the screen as I laid my head back down on his chest. “But we poked the bee’s nest first. Him retaliating isn’t exactly a surprise,” I pointed out.

“No,” Cayde agreed with a sigh, starting to rub my back again. “And I’d say it’s more a wasp’s nest than bees. Bees are useful. Wasps are just nasty fuckers.”

I lifted my head, eyebrows raised in surprise. “You really are mad. You don’t usually swear like that.”

“Yeah, well, his ‘retaliation’ led to goin’ after you over bullshit. Pissed me off. ‘Sides, we wouldn’t have poked the nest if he hadn’t been pokin’ us first. Wait,” he frowned, scrunching up his face. “That came out wrong.”

I laughed. “You said that on purpose!” I accused, lightly slapping his shoulder.

“I did not!” He protested. 

I laughed harder, mushing my face into his chest to try and stifle the sound and get myself under control. I felt his body shaking with quiet laughter, too, before he kissed the top of my head. “You seem to be feelin’ better. Has it finally sunk in that stubborn Titan head-a yours that the prison wasn’t your fault?”

“Yeah,” I sighed. “I …” I frowned. “Logically, I know it wasn’t, even though I _feel_ like there was something more I could have or should have done. I do know what you’re telling me, Cayde.” I assured him. “I hear you. What’s got me, more than anything, is seeing it over and over and …” I tucked my head under his chin and sighed again as I felt his arms wrap around me. 

“And …” he gently encouraged. 

“I guess, if I keep blaming myself, it … it gives me someone to be mad at because … when I see it all play out in my mind, even in a dream, I just want to go after the Barons and Uldren all over again. And, obviously, I can’t. So I have all this anger and frustration and sadness built up so I turn it on myself. Especially when I think of _that_ moment. I try not to but, sometimes, it’s just there. And I hear myself in my head saying over and over: You can’t go. You can’t.” I lightly shook my head, my eyes fixed on the edge of the coffee table, but not really seeing it. “Then I get this … awful sinking feeling in my chest. Like everything’s been ripped out. The feeling that’s so far beyond pain, you’re numb and cold with this echoing ache that refuses to leave.” I knew he knew the feeling I was talking about and felt his hand start to rub my back again. He didn’t say anything though. He was letting me talk and I could sense he was glad I was. “The moment the light in your eyes left, I felt the world close in on me. It had to be a nightmare because I refused to believe it was real. You couldn’t go,” I said again, shaking my head once more. “I mean … you’re Cayde-6. You can’t die. You just can’t. What’s this world without you in it? And what do I do without you? Without hearing your laugh or listening to one of your stupid jokes and rolling my eyes, trying not to laugh, too. What do I do when I get back to the Tower and you’re not standing where you always do or aren’t working on your maps or talking to your Scouts? What do I do when you’re not there to surprise me with ramen or a hot cup of coffee after a long day? … Or bourbon if it was a bad day?” I felt my eyes sting and my throat tightening as my vision blurred. I swallowed and slipped my arms down to his sides and held him. “There’d be no more late night talks while watching the ships come in … staring up at the stars and reminiscing about our first trips up there. No one to hold while listening to old tales from the Wilds … No battle stories to share or banter over the comms. No more movies on the couch and surprise chocolate truffles left out. … No more apple pies. For the first time, I felt all alone. Even with Ghost there … I felt alone. Like this world and the whole Sol System was so much bigger, scarier, and deafeningly silent and empty because you were gone,” I barely managed, tears dripping out over the bridge of my nose and from corner of my eye onto his shirt. “That’s when I realized, being a Titan isn’t what makes me strong.” I hugged him tight. “It’s you.”

I felt him holding his breath before clearing his throat and finally breathing again, his chest shuddering as he did. He tightened his arm around me while he soothingly pet the back of my head, trembling fingers carding though my hair as he kissed my forehead, making a little sniffling sound. I could feel the overwhelming outpouring of love and tender devotion surrounding me as he took a few moments before speaking. “So, um …” He cleared his throat once more, trying to steady his voice. “Does that mean I’m like … the ultimate Titan, then? Did I out - Zavala, Zavala and out - Shaxx Shaxx? Do I get to walk around going -” He lowered his voice as deep as it could go. “Indeed, I am the Crucible!”

I blinked in surprise at the response, taken aback by it, then suddenly started laughing, unable to help it, my shoulders shaking! “Traveler, you idiot!” I barely managed, lightly slapping his shoulder before looking up at him and wiping at my eyes. Only Cayde could make a joke like that in such a tender and vulnerable moment - be able to read me and what I needed right then - and have it come off right and not mean or inappropriate. 

“I just wanted to make ya laugh,” he confirmed, trailing the backs of his fingers over my cheek, smirking. “What ya said, though …” He sat up a little and pressed his forehead to mine, the air about him becoming more serious. “Ais …” I lifted my hand to his and curled my fingers into his palm as I nodded. He closed his own fingers over mine and eased his head back to look at me, his eyes bright, the light of his optics making the unshed tears sitting along the bottom lids shimmer. “Nothin’s gonna take me away from you,” he whispered. “ _Nothing_.”

“I know,” I whispered and squeezed his hand a bit tighter then settled my head back down, this time on his shoulder, as I closed my eyes and pressed my face to the side of his neck, feeling better, even if, maybe, a bit shaky. I really didn’t like recalling that moment in the prison. Even though he was here, just rewatching it in my head left me with that sinking feeling. Oddly enough, though, I could handle it when he talked about it and needed me. But I think it was because he needed me that I could push what I was feeling aside - for the most part - and focus on him. 

Just a bit more proof he really was what made me strong.

 

We quietly laid together and watched the rest of the movie until we both fell asleep, more tired than we realized. The sun coming in through the windows the next morning woke me and I blinked my eyes open to the low, familiar purring sound of Cayde snoring. I lifted my head up off his chest and saw his head tilted back on the pillow, mouth slightly agape, orange light flickering with each breath in and out. I smiled and kissed his cheek, then carefully eased up off him. His right arm was hanging off the side of the couch and I gently picked it up and laid it over him. He grunted and snorted, then rolled over into the back of the couch, starting to snore again as he resettled. My smile broadened and I pet his shoulder then headed for the stairs to go up and take a shower.

 

I had just finished rinsing the shampoo out of my hair, having felt a strangely warm tingle in the process, when I heard the light rapping of fingers on the glass door behind me. I turned and saw Cayde through the steam covered glass, blurry but obviously completely naked on the other side. He was leaning against the wall next to the door and wiggled his fingers at me in a cute little hello wave. I chuckled and opened the door. 

“Excuse me, ma’am, hate to bother ya, but I got reports about a water leak,” he said, slowly looking me up and down. “Heard some beautiful woman was … gettin’ all wet,” he lowly rumbled.

I smiled at the playful comment, blushing a bit. “Is that what you heard?” I asked as my eyes slowly trailed over his perfectly created physique, pausing briefly to admire a certain part of his heady anatomy. “Well … seems you have the right tool for the job,” I purred before my eyes finally moved back up to his face. He had an arched eyebrow and rather slyly proud expression. My smile became a grin. “Suppose I should let you in so you can … fix it?” I asked as I pushed the door open further for him.

As soon as he stepped inside, his arms were around me and his lips were on mine. I moaned at the lovingly possessive reaction and returned the kiss, my arms slipping up over his shoulders and around the back of his neck as the door clicked shut behind him. He pressed his body into mine and eased me back against the tile wall, deepening his kiss. Without even thinking, I lifted my left leg and curled it around his thigh, pulling him in as close as I could, the hot spray steaming up the shower once more as it cascaded over us. When we paused to catch our breaths, I licked my lips and smiled at him, caressing the back of his head, my fingers tracking the familiar curves and circular shape of the port as I looked into his eyes. “I’m certainly not complaining, but what’s got into you?” He was in a very affectionate and even needy mood.

He smiled back at me and kissed me again. “For once, I had a good dream,” he quietly told me. “Insteada fighting, I found myself in a beautiful field that stretched on forever, surrounded by flowers of every color. The sun was shining and warm … and you were there. You were in this … sheen, flowing gown that shimmered in the light.” He shook his head, smirking. “Completely naked underneath.” I smiled again and he kissed me once more. “We didn’t say anything to each other. You just came over to me and kissed me and … we made love in that field.” He reached up and trailed the backs of his fingers over my cheek. “The sun set and these beautiful hues of reds and pinks lit up the sky then faded to stars, shimmering everywhere … with fireflies twinklin’ in the grass.” He closed his eyes and pressed his forehead to mine. “It was … heaven,” he murmured. “Or so I imagine, if it really exists.” 

I stoked his cheeks then slipped my arms under his and around his middle, holding him close as I tilted my head to softly kiss his lips once again. “It sounds perfect,” I whispered. 

“Kinda scared me for a minute, though,” he quietly admitted and I frowned. “It scared you?” I asked and he nodded. “My dreams are never like that. Not that good, anyway. Kept waitin’ for somethin’ to go wrong or … come out of the shadows.” He shook his head. “But nothin’ did. It didn’t fade into anything bad or change into some subliminal meaning. It was just you and me. Minute I woke up, all I wanted was to be with you.”

I smiled again. “That explains the good feelings I’d sensed a few minutes ago.” 

He smiled back and snuggled me for a few moments, resting his forehead back against mine, both of us savoring the intimate warmth of the small space. 

I got a vibe from him, then - one that was stronger than normal. It was like a pulsing need to just want to be close, but with a mild sexually charged undercurrent. I smirked and blindly reached for the bar of soap and lathered my hands up behind him, then set the bar back down and started to slowly and softly slide my hands over his back, the fingertips of both my hands coming together and following the curve of his spine down lower and lower, until he softly gasped and shifted as my hands lightly kneaded his bottom and pulled him as close as physically possible. “Mmm … how do you do that?” He rumbled, tilting his head back as I kissed under his chin, my lips following the hard edges of his metal jaw to the softer, more sensitive flesh-like skin that covered his throat. 

“Do what?” I murmured between kisses. 

“I’m the Hunter. I’m supposed to be the one all stealthy, ready to pounce, and here you are, disarming me and takin’ over, leavin’ me completely blind-sided. I love it. Not often the Hunter is the one that gets surprised, especially by a Titan.”

I smirked. “You bring out this side of me …” 

“Mmm. Well … you know my thoughts there,” he breathed. “I think you’re a unique one. Like the one ol’ Saint-14 believed from the stories.”

“You believe my skill at surprising you like this is further evidence I’m the one Saint-14 used to talk about?” I smirked but wasn’t sure about that. I was sure a lot of Guardians who knew that story liked to think and hope that maybe they were the one to put a stop to the Darkness and save this world, be it for selfless duty or undying glory. Depended on the Guardian. And, maybe, in the beginning, I felt that way, myself. I didn’t care about the glory or anyone knowing it was me. I just wanted to save this world and the people. To know, one day it would be rebuilt and beautiful, where people didn’t live in fear behind walls. But … over the years, forming this friendship and love with Cayde … my fear was, if I was that one Guardian … those stories - those prophecies - rarely ever ended with the ‘hero’ living. It usually resulted in a grand and ultimate sacrifice. It was … a complicated thing to think about. And it made me sad when I thought that, if I was the one and it might lead to that ultimate sacrifice … I knew of so many possible ways it could go and none of them had the happy ending for us I hoped for.

“Stop,” Cayde whispered and kissed me.

“Stop what?” I asked.

“I can feel that sadness and know what you’re thinkin’,” he murmured. “I shouldn’t’ve said anything.”

“You didn’t do it on - ”

He put his finger over my lips. “I know. But after our talk last night, I shoulda known better. We’re both still a bit off from thinkin’ about that day and how close we came to losin’ each other. Probably will be for however long we gotta worry about Mahal poppin’ up to ask us stuff and diggin’ into things. And I know you. Cause you’re just like me with that stuff. You find somethin’ truly special ya love and you grab onto it and hold on to it for all you got. Just thinkin’ about losin’ it puts you in a bad place.” His expression was soft, but I could see in his eyes he was being genuinely serious now. “I don’t want you to worry about it. Don’t let it be somethin’ that eats atchya, Ais. All I want you to do is know, no matter what - and I mean it, _no matter what_ \- I’m with you. Just as I know you’re with me. Side-by-side all the way. No matter where that way leads.” 

I clenched my jaw, my teeth pressing together so hard they hurt. I blinked as I felt my eyes sting, then swallowed it all down, relaxing, and nodded.

He shook his head and pulled me into a hug and I sighed, resting my head on his shoulder as I hugged him back. “Well,” he uttered. “I think my days of bein’ a plumber are over. I seem to have only made the leak worse.”

I snorted and quietly laughed into his shoulder. “Idiot,” I uttered, shaking my head as I sniffed, pulling myself back together.

“But a sexy idiot, right?” He asked, his tone hopeful. 

I nodded. 

“Oh, okay. Good. Long as we got the sexy in there.”

When I leaned back to look at him, I smiled. “I worry too much, don’t I?” I asked.

“Waaaaay too much. Typical Titan. I mean, you know what I’ve said about Zavala, right?” I frowned and shook my head. It was possible he’d said something to me at one point, but I didn’t remember what it was. “Ooooh. Well, it involves a lump of coal becoming a diamond. In a week. If it was up his ass.”

I bit at my bottom lip to stop myself from laughing. 

“Don’t, uh … Don’t tell him I said that or I have a feelin’ I’ll have his foot up mine.”

I burst out laughing then, I couldn’t help it! Now that he’d said it, I was pretty sure I had heard that before at some point but Cayde saying it now … “You know just the right way to lift me back up when I need it, you know that?” I asked him.

“Stuff up Zavala’s ass lifts you up?” He joked, eyebrows as high as they could go, feigning surprise. “Well, I suppose we all have our kinks.”

I laughed even harder and reached around him, playfully slapping his butt. 

 

We spent almost another half hour in the shower, just kissing each other and lathering each other up with the soap Cayde loved so much; the spicy citrus scent mingled with the steam creating a wonderfully intimate atmosphere. I wasn’t sure about other Exos skin - well, for those that had ‘skin’ - but Cayde’s, when covered in silky suds, was one of the most incredibly warm and sensual things to feel against your body! His hands were slow and tantalizing as they caressed me in all the right places, and his playful nature added into it all made it one of the most unforgettable mornings with him I’d ever had. He chased away all my worries leaving me breathless and tingling all over. At some point, we left the shower and made our way to the bed where the playfulness gave way to just being silly! I swore, we ended up laughing more than moaning and, at one point, even fell off the bed together, not realizing where the edge of the mattress was we were rolling around so much!

By the time we finally forced ourselves to get up and get dressed, the prospects of running into Mahal and needing to discuss darker themes with the Drifter didn’t seem as bad or bleak as they had yesterday. We knew, together, we could face anything, sometimes, we just needed to remind each other of that.

“By the way,” Ghost said, as we were heading for the door, “I know who won yesterday.”

“The bet?” I asked.

Ghost bobbed.

“And?” Cayde asked. “It was me, right?” He asked, sounding so sure of himself.

Ghost sighed and looked at me, his shell drooping. “I’m sorry, Aislin,” he told me.

“HA!” Cayde laughed, pointing finger guns at me. 

Ghost made a throat-clearing sound. “As I was saying, I’m sorry, Aislin but, from this point on … you’re going to forever be haunted by what your husband looks like in a pink dress.”

Cayde’s jaw practically hit the floor. “WHAT?!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, seriously here, I heard so many of you say you really wanted Ais to win because Cayde singing karaoke in a pink dress was just too good to pass up. However, I decided to let fate choose this one, so to speak, and actually wrote their names on pieces of paper and picked one out of a hat. Lo and behold ... 🤣 It was meant to be. 
> 
> As always, more as soon as I can and thank you all so much for the feedback and just overall love. You all make writing this story so special knowing how much you're enjoying it and look forward to each chapter. ~ ❤️


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so, so sorry this chapter took so long to get out to you guys. I know I'm usually much more prompt. If you're not on tumblr and follow my page there, the reason I've been so slow is I've been dealing with awful migraines. Two different meds have not helped, so the dr is working on getting one approved for me to try that she thinks will do the trick. I hope so. In the meantime, despite the headaches, I'm going to keep plugging away at the story and I'll get updates out as soon as I can. I really appreciate all of you who are still along for the ride and enjoying it and will have more out as soon as I can! ~ ❤️

“Hey, babe? Where’d this come from?” I heard Cayde ask me as he came around the corner by the stairs. I turned from my seat at the table where I was working on a report with Ghost and saw him standing there, a curious expression on his face as he carefully but curiously held up a dried rose to show me.

I smiled. “Did you get that out of your storage cache with your journals?” He nodded. “I put it there a while back,” I answered as I watched his pointed eyebrows furrow. “Not long after the prison. We got home and you opened it up to look through the journals for something you’d written about. When you’d left them out, I put them away for you. I put that in there with them, too.”

“Why?” He asked. “I mean, I assume it means somethin’, but …” He shook his head, not seeming to make a connection.

My smile broadened and I got up and went over to him. “It’s a rose from that first bouquet you gave me,” I said, gently touching the now dried petals. “I wanted to save it.” I shrugged. “It was just something special from you and, like I’d said, no one had ever given me flowers before. I actually expected you to find it sooner.”

His features warmed and grew very soft as he looked at me with a subtle smile. He reached up with his free hand and lightly caressed my cheek with he backs of his fingers. “Well, y’know, with you to talk to, I don’t write quite as often as I used to. I finished up the journal by my bed last night, though, and figured I’d put it with the others before starting a new one.” He leaned in and softly kissed my forehead. “Thank you.” He looked at the rose again. “I woulda never thought to keep one-a the roses but, now that you mention it, I’m glad you did.” I smiled again and he gave me a kiss. “I should get a nice box to put it in so nothin’ happens to it,” he said. “Maybe I’ll take a trip into the City and get one. Bring home dinner.”

I tilted my head, narrowing my eyes at him a little and arched an eyebrow. “You’re going to meet him again, aren’t you?” I asked, a knowing smirk on my lips. He looked at me innocently. “Aren’t you?” I repeated.

“I don’t know what you’re talkin’ about,” Cayde said and playfully scrunched up his face as he nuzzled his nose to the tip of mine, then turned to head back into his little make-shift … well, I guess you’d call it an office. Although, just the very idea of putting ‘Cayde’ and ‘office’ in the same sentence was weird and practically inconceivable, even though I knew that was, essentially, what it was. Perhaps small man cave was more fitting? Whatever you wanted to call it, though, it was where he had a drawing table set up for working on maps and where he occasionally drew or painted if something inspired him. 

That was something I was getting used to. Seeing him draw out elaborate and beautiful maps, made with pride and care. I’d seen him draw out maps before, but just quick ones for Scout Reports. And I knew he drew and painted - I think I was one of the rare few, if anyone at all, who had actually seen Cayde’s elaborate maps, drawings, and paintings - but, in the year he’d stayed at my apartment after the Red War, there was never a place or much time for him to lay all his things out and really enjoy being able to do any of that. When I’d asked him where he was drawing and painting before the old Tower got hit, he told me he’d had a bunch of little hidden nooks and old closed off areas of the Tower he’d found over the years where he kept things hidden and would go when he had time off. Sadly, some of those places were destroyed, along with the things he had hidden there or had been working on. The paint kit and tools he had saved in his cache were among some of the things he’d been able to salvage before moving to the new Tower, along with the old maps that were rolled up and sealed in the tube case. So, needless to say, when we got this place, I wanted to make sure Cayde had a place in it for all of that.

It turned out this place had a perfect alcove area by a large window that got plenty of light for anything he was working on and, at night, the City lights below cast a dazzling array of colors along the ceiling. Our first night in the place, I’d found Cayde laying on the floor, having made up a little bed out of a blanket and a pillow, and was looking up at the colors. He told me that it reminded him of sleeping under the stars out in the Wilds, and of the nights the aurora borealis would dance across the sky. I’d ended up joining him, cuddling against his side, Ghost coming over to settle on Cayde’s chest, and the three of us fell asleep together. It had been the perfect first night in our new home.

“So, you figure it’s the safest place?” I asked him as I leaned against the wall, noticing he had a few freshly made maps and reports laid out on his desk. “Get lost in the crowd unnoticed?”

He looked over at me as he gently placed the rose back in the cache and closed it before stepping back over to me, putting his hands on my shoulders. “Right now, yeah. Way less conspicuous than here and easier to talk without worryin’ someone’s listening in - especially since _someone_ bugged the area.”

“Hey, you’re the one who told me to do what Aunor said, once you had things all figured out, so I did what she asked me to,” I told him, giving him gentle shove.

He lightly chuckled and nodded. “I’m only teasin’.”

“I know,” I smiled. “I take it he’s been really tight-lipped since I did that?”

Cayde nodded. “Yeah. He knows the play, too. Been around too long and is too paranoid to not know when something’s up. So, yeah. Meeting away from here is the best way to talk. But, upside, I’ll get dinner while I’m out. I found this place the other day - best tempura ever. I’ll bring home all the different kinds.”

I smirked and nodded. “Sounds great.” I then lifted my hands and laid them over his. “Be careful, okay?” I asked, giving them a squeeze. “I know you knew him back in the day but … the things you told me that he’s told you … and the things you told me you remember about him … I don’t think he’s a bad guy, but he’s not necessarily a good one, either. Just … watch your six, okay?”

Cayde warmly smiled and drew me into a hug. “Warning a Hunter to be careful. That’s like bangin’ your head against a brick wall and sayin’ it doesn’t hurt. But you know I will.”

“Bang your head against a brick wall?” I sassed, hugging him back. 

He snorted. “No tempura for you.”

I chuckled and he leaned back and looked at me. “I’ll be careful,” he assured. “And this’ll all be over soon, anyway. Just a few more things to tie up. Ikora told me Mahal’s near done the investigation anyway, and seems satisfied you did nothing wrong. She’s also grudgingly conceding her stance on Drifter for the time being, even if she’s not fond of this alliance or him bein' in the Tower. It’s more or less all a big political show anyway. Just, er … don’t get offended if he starts callin’ ya ‘Snitch’ from now on.”

“Snitch?” I asked, arching an eyebrow.

“Yeah. I mean, he knows the deal. It was his idea. For … appearances.”

“Right,” I nodded. “His idea.”

“Mmm.” He smirked and winked, then gave me a kiss. “Can I getchya anything while I’m out?” He asked and I smiled a knowing smile. He chuckled and nodded. “Okay,” he said, knowing exactly what I was smiling about.

 

While Cayde was out I took the opportunity to wrap his gift and place it with Ghost’s under a little silver tree on a table we had set up in the corner of the living room by the fireplace. The silver tree was something Cayde had surprised me with a couple days ago. It was metal and about a foot tall but he told me he’d spotted it while out and got it because it looked very much like the silver trees created by the Traveler’s Light that we’d followed around Io, eventually leading to Cayde getting his Light back. It was very pretty and it shimmered in the sunlight during the day, and glowed in the firelight at night. It had been an absolutely perfect gift, not just for me, but for himself as well, and Ghost. A reminder of that day when the three of us were joined and our new life together really began.

While I put some icing on some little ginger star cookies I’d made the night before, Ghost floated near the tree, looking down at the gifts, his back end twitching back and forth for a few moments before he came over to see what I was doing. “You didn’t have to get me a gift, you know?” He said.

I smiled. “We wanted to, Little Light,” I told him, wiggling my fingers under him, making him contentedly flutter at the affection. “You’ll like it.”

He watched me frost a couple more cookies before he spoke again. “I hate to admit it but Cayde’s been good for you,” he said.

“You hate to admit it?” I asked, smirking.

Ghost sighed. “Don’t tell him I said I think he’s a good influence.”

I laughed. “You’re his Ghost, too, you know? It’s not like he doesn’t pick up on you actually liking him and caring about him. Or that you always did.”

“Don’t tell him that, either,” Ghost said.

I snorted.

“What I meant, though,” Ghost said, “was seeing how happy you are and how you’ve gotten more involved in things since being with him. You seem more a part of things, rather than just watching them from the outside … detached.”

I felt a soft warmth wash over me and I smiled again. “You know, every now and again, I get this feeling … like I knew him before. A long, long time ago.”

“When he was human, you mean?”

I nodded. “But way back. Even before the Golden Age. Like … maybe we’ve been finding each other through time … in each new lifetime.”

“Anything’s possible,” Ghost softly offered. 

I smiled more brightly and nodded. “Even if it’s not true it’s a wonderful thought,” I murmured and noticed Ghost bobbed in agreement. “I think I’ve been checking out too many of those romance novels of his,” I added with a chuckle. 

Ghost’s shell turned up a bit as if he were smiling. “You have him now, though. And he you. That’s what really matters.”

I nodded, feeling a mix of joy and also a pang of unsettled fear at the thought of how very close it had been all this would never be right now. 

The comm beeped then and I answered it, Cayde on the other end. “Everything okay?” He asked. 

I smirked. “You felt that, huh?” I asked.

“Well, nothin’ bad, but it definitely came up on my radar. Just wanted to check in,” he said.

“Ghost and I were just talking about you,” I said as I finished frosting another cookie.

“Oh? About how marvelous and magnificent I am?” He asked, lowering his voice to give it a rumbly, awed expression. “Go on. It’s okay. You can admit it."

I laughed. “Something like that.”

He chuckled a bit, too. “So, what happened? You thought about the prison?”

“Was it that obvious?” I asked.

“Well … felt that feeling from you before. Why I figured I’d check in.”

I smiled. “Yeah. It was just a fleeting thing. I’m fine. Really.”

“Sure?”  


“Yeah. Will you be home soon?”

“If we have any glimmer left so I can get on the L. Think he ate halfa the food at the restaurant, the rest is probably stuffed in his pockets. Dude’s got some serious issues with food. Can’t blame him, though, after what happened to him.”

I nodded. “Yeah, that … I can’t even imagine,” I admitted, recalling the stories Cayde had relayed to me over the last few days as he got little pieces here and there from Drifter about where he’d been and what had happened to him over the last few centuries. Of course, we both knew to take whatever Drifter said with a grain of salt. You could never be too sure. But there were some things about Drifter’s stories that led Cayde to believe they were at least partially true if not fully - the descriptions of the Prime Evils for one. They’d matched the ones Cayde had written about in his journals from his own personal experiences. The other thing was the cold. It wasn’t the icy cold of the place Drifter and his crew had been to and died on so many times. It was a feeling that sunk deep down inside and was seemingly impossible to vanquish. I’d asked Cayde if maybe that was why he hated the cold so much. If there was some part of him that remembered how it felt and the fear that accompanied it. He said he wasn’t sure if that was definitely the root of it, but thought it was pretty damn likely.

“Oh, hey, I uh, scoped out the cantina,” Cayde said, switching gears. “Figured if I’m gonna make a spectacle out of myself, may as well go all out. Figured I’d wait till the Dawning was over, though, cause everyone’s got plans and stuff. But, after - ”

“I know a bet’s a bet, but you really don’t have to if you don’t want to,” I assured him. Sure, I’d love to see him in a pink dress and hear him sing but I wasn’t going to make him embarrass himself. 

“No. Nono. Uh, ah. I made the bet. I keep the bet. You won, I lost. I honor it. Even if it means wearing a dress and singing in front of a ton of people.”

I smiled. Cayde’s sense of honor was quite moving, even if it came down to something silly. “Okay,” I relented. “I cut you off, I’m sorry. What were you going to say?”

“Oh, uh, figured, after Dawning, as things wind down, we do one last big night and have fun with everyone. A night of drinking and singing. And me. In pink.”

I chuckled. “Sounds like fun, actually. It’s a date, handsome.”

“Great!” Cayde cheered. “Oh! Just called my order. I’ll be home soon. Love ya.”

“Love you, too,” I replied, grinning.

When the call with Cayde ended, Ghost floated a little closer to me. “Do you think Drifter’s stories are really true?”

“Well, like Cayde told me before, if not entirely true, it’s true enough when it comes to the Prime Evils. But Drifter knows the game going on. He’s feeding us what he knows it going to get back to Aunor. And Cayde knows that. So do Ikora and Zavala. And so do I. So we play along.”

“I get the feeling Aunor isn’t entirely in the dark with all of this, either, despite being the one heading the investigation,” Ghost added.

I nodded. “I think she has an idea, too, but she’s kind of like Zavala in some ways. Duty first.”

Ghost bobbed as if nodding in agreement. “Are we going to board the Derelict like she asked, too?”

“I think that’s what Cayde and him were talking about today. We’ll find out when he gets back and go from there.”

“Got to admit, I am a bit curious what else is on that ship,” Ghost said.

I nodded. “I’m a little curious, myself.”

 

By the time Cayde got home it was dark, even though it was only a little after five. With the winter months now upon us, the days were short and cold and I knew Cayde was loving having an actual home and someone to come back to where it was warm and welcoming, with subtle smells of incense, fresh cooked food, a fire in the fireplace, and as he’d once fondly told me, the smell of my perfume. 

He also told me that lately he was finding himself thinking back over more recent years. Of the times with Zavala and Ikora - before he and I started spending time together - the three of them often spending off-duty hours hanging out, playing chess, discussing philosophy and history, or just enjoying friendly time together over cups of tea or coffee. But, when it was over , when the three of them parted ways for the evening and the night and quiet settled over the Tower, he’d find himself feeling lonely and aimless, even with Sundance around. He’d adored her, always would, and she’d always been such good company and a constant confidant and friend. But it was a different kind of lonely he’d been feeling that she just couldn’t help with. One he confessed he now fully understood was a longing to have something and someone to go to at the end of the day instead of just a small, relatively empty room designated to him that, for the most part, served as a storage room for his stuff. 

He said in the very beginning, when he was first brought back, it was lonely then, too. But, when he’d finally found other people and then eventually Andal and Shiro not long after that, followed the rest of the gang, they’d all become like a big family of sorts. Things were communal. They even tended to sleep in the same area or room so no one was ever really far from each other. But, when he’d come to the Tower, he was alone all over again and said that not only was he mourning Andal, but he felt terribly homesick and out of place in the Tower. It was all concrete and cold, with strange echoing sounds and the rumble of ship engines overhead, not the peacefulness of the Wilds and gentle lulling rhythm of the Earth beneath his feet or the fresh air that brought with it the smell of the trees and brooks nearby. He said that for weeks at a time he’d hardly sleep, missing the warm glow and crackling sound of a fire, the quiet snoring of his friends, the distant sounds of wild animals, and laying back, looking up at the stars. The only way he’d found he was able to get any rest was to actually go up on top of the roof covering the Hall of Guardians and lay out under the night sky, above where the ships came in. Of course, the first time he’d done it, his tendency to roll around in his sleep and lack of forethought led to him falling to his death off the Tower. After that, he slept up there with a rope around his waist, the other end tied to a pole. When I’d asked him why he never told me this before, he’d shrugged and said he actually didn’t like thinking about those early days in the Tower. They made him feel bad, especially since it was a time he recalled both Zavala and Ikora not seeming to think much of him or really seeming to consider him capable or on their level. Sometimes it was hard to believe Cayde was carrying all this around with him under his seeming unwavering cheerful, flashy, and carefree manner. He was a man who was so skilled; so strong and fiercely independent. A man who I knew was a survivor and could handle just about anything where most would waver. Whoever and whatever he’d been before becoming an Exo was engrained in him, even with the memory wipes. Almost instinctively so. But still, under all that, way deep down, I knew the most vulnerable part of him was curled up in a corner, just hoping for someone to come along and hold him and tell him he didn’t have to be strong all the time. Didn’t have to be alone and scared. 

I honestly think, aside form Sundance, Ghost and I are the only ones he’s ever let see or know that side exists.

“Okay, so, I think we’re covered on food for the next couple-a days,” Cayde said. I looked over at him, watching as he came in and set the bags of take away on the dinner table. “Ohh! You finished the cookies!” He made to reach for one and I gently slapped the back of his hand, making him yelp, more in surprise than anything. “Geez, were you Baba in your last life?” He asked, rubbing the back of his hand. 

“Oh, stop. I barely touched you,” I smirked. “Those are for dessert.”

“Oh?” He asked, eyebrows rising. “Cause, uh …” he came around the table and slipped his arms around me, pressing close. “I was hopin’ for somethin’ … a little sweeter.”

“Smooth, Mr. Hunter. Real smooth,” I nodded. He chuckled and gave me a kiss as he hugged me tight, nuzzling me. 

“Oh!” He said, then gave me one more kiss before pulling away. “I got …” he reached into a bag and took out a small, intricately carved wooden box, lightly stained, and brought it over to me. I saw the carvings were floral, not over done, and quite beautiful. “Figured I could wrap the rose in some tissue paper and lay it in that. Keep it safe,” he said. 

I smiled and nodded. “I think it’s perfect,” I told him.

He smiled back. “Great!” He said, then set it on the table and reached into the bag again. “Aaaaaand,” he bounced over to me and presented me with a small paper bag. 

I opened it and saw some chocolate truffles inside. Yup. He’d known exactly what my grin had meant. I gave him a hug. “Thank you.” 

“Anything for you, baby,” he said, hugging me back. “Place looks great, by the way,” he said as he eased back, looking around. I had the cookies set on a plate in the middle of the table, candles and lanterns lit, and the fire going in the fireplace. The whole apartment was warm and cozy and festive. I noticed Cayde’s eyes settle on the table with the silver tree and felt a little tingle of excitement from him as he cleared his throat. “There’s another present there, too, I see,” he idly commented, tilting his head in their direction. 

I smirked. “Mmm hmm.” He glanced at me, arching an eyebrow. “No, I’m not giving you any hints. You’ll just have to wait to open it. And no peeking.”

“I would never!” He stated, sounding aghast at the very suggestion.

 

“So, yeah … basically, when we get up there, just watch out for the trip mines. He’s got stuff pretty well secured,” Cayde said, setting his now empty plate on the coffee table before fully leaning back in the pillows against the arm of the couch. He’d taken off his pants and socks, as well as his sweater, leaving on just a plain white button down linen shirt and his underwear. It was casually very sexy and I couldn’t help but run my eyes over him a few times while he sat beside me, eating and telling me about what he and Drifter had talked about. He’d asked Ghost to leave the room while we talked, though, not to be mean, but to ensure nothing was available if, for some reason, Aunor attempted to scan Ghost’s files as she’d done with Sundance. Ghost hadn’t taken it personally. He understood the situation and left us alone, leaving me to wonder where it was he went to whenever he gave Cayde and I privacy. 

“Do you think what he’s been telling you is the truth?” I asked, regarding Drifter. I leaned down and coaxed Cayde to lift his legs up over my lap and started giving them a light and gentle massage once he did.

He sighed and wiggled a little, getting even more comfortable, watching my hands as they slid up and down his calves and over his knees, my fingers carefully working at the joints, feeling the shapes of artificially crafted muscle and metal bones underneath the soft mesh. I looked over at him when I didn’t hear any immediate reply and saw him watching me, the fire from the fireplace reflecting off the teal metal of his face, his cheek plates turned up, indicating a soft smile. His eyes were half lidded and his left elbow was resting against the back of the couch, his arm bent, cradling the back of his head in the palm of his hand. His right arm was draped over his middle and he wiggled his toes a little as he tilted his head into the back couch cushion, never taking his eyes off me. I smiled back at him. “Am I distracting you?” I asked.

He chuckled softly. “A little.” He took his hand off the back of his head and reached over to me, tugging at my shirt, getting me to lean sideways for a kiss. 

His lips were firm, but tender and warm as he slowly moved them against mine, his hot breath ghosting over my skin as he sighed. I moaned, feeling a warm, tingling pleasure begin to build within me when I felt his other hand slide up over my cheek, his fingers tangling in my hair, making goosebumps rise all over my body. As he deepened the kiss, the tip of his tongue slipped out and brushed over my lips. I opened my mouth a little more, moaning softly as his kisses grew more urgent and he started tugging me a bit closer. I felt my heart begin to beat a little faster with excited anticipation and, not taking my lips off his, I shifted myself up onto the couch, twisting around. He moved his legs and I blindly reached down, helping him situate them around my waist as I sat up on my knees between them. That was when Cayde broke the kiss, looking up at me a bit dazed. I smiled down at him as I stroked his sides, noticing the tip of his tongue was sticking out and he was holding it over his upper lip, something I’d come to recognize was a little tell when he was getting excited. “So, uh … now that you got me in a rather compromising position, here,” he breathlessly stated, “what are ya gonna do with me?” His expression became quite sly and beckoning as he waggled his eyebrows at me.

“Things,” I lowly purred, grinning as I leaned over him, carefully laying my warm palm over the hot and forming bulge in his underwear, giving it a light stroking. He shuddered and hissed, groaning, shifting his hips. “Very. Naughty. Things,” I said, watching him squirm under me with delight. I bent forward, easing his shirt open a little more and slowly kissed up the center of his chest, breathing in the subtle lingering scent of his cologne and the cool mint and eucalyptus of his face polish as I got closer to his neck, my hand still gently caressing him. He groaned again and sighed, then pushed up into my palm as he arched his head back into the pillow, lifting his arms to loosely drape them above his head over the arm of the couch. I glanced up at him and grinned again as I saw the completely blissed out expression and pose. “You like that, handsome?” I whispered, changing the position of my hand to seductively trail my fingers up over the cotton fabric, feeling the tensing and heated swelling of his testicles underneath. 

I’d be forever amazed at how teams of scientists, technicians, and likely even artists, gradually created and recreated different bodies, slowly learning and crafting newer, more advanced and human-like ones in both appearance and function. Cayde’s reactions, the way he could feel and sense things, the way he moved, the way he expressed himself … I was pretty sure the consciousness inside him enhanced what had already been physically created to house it, but the very fact that it had been created and not born … I wondered just how human Exos would have become if the Collapse hadn’t happened?

When I looked back up at Cayde’s face, his eyes were half-lidded, watching me, cheek plates turned up once again in a soft smile. He looked so beckoningly delicious. I smiled back and sat up, pulling my shirt off and tossed it over the back of the couch. He chuckled and reached for me, petting my arms as I laid my hands on his chest, feeling it rise and fall with each slow breath and the fast, excited swishing pulse from his heart. His hands slid up and over my shoulders, then down over my chest, his fingertips ghosting over the lacy black fabric of my bra. I closed my eyes and sighed. “Don’t think I’ll ever get over how … etherial your skin looks,” he murmured, his voice low and rumbly but slightly awed. “Especially in the firelight.” I looked down, watching as his fingertips lovingly followed the slowly rippling tendrils of faint light beneath my pearlescent skin. “I always found the Awoken so beautiful,” he murmured as he watched the tendrils move. 

“How did you fall in with the Awoken, anyway?” I asked, laying my hands over his, lightly petting them. 

He looked up at me and smirked. “Doin’ bad things for good reasons,” he answered. 

I eyed him, smirking. “Let me try and guess … moving contraband for some on the fence Fallen who just happened to be in league with the Queen?”

“Maaaaybe,” he offered, trying to look innocent, petting my sides, suddenly finding my skin fascinating again.

I chuckled. “Is that how she took an interest in you?”

He frowned. “Interest is … a strong word. More like … usefulness.”

“Have you really been working for them that long?” I asked, surprised. 

“Another strong word. I didn’t ‘work’ for them. I was just sorta … an occasional hire for dirty jobs … kinda like …” He frowned again, and I felt a twinge of mild regret and slight self-loathing.

I instantly knew the connection there and felt terrible. “Shit. I’m sorry,” I said. “I didn’t mean t- ”

He shook his head. “No-no, babe. I-it’s okay. It’s what I’ve always been good at.”

“I just totally killed the mood, didn’t I?” I asked, wincing.

“What? Pffft. No way,” he said, smiling up at me, petting my arms again. “Look, beautiful, you know I got a really complicated, sometimes painful, but mostly a _lotta_ crazy, past. I’m fine. And you didn’t kill anything. Well, no. Actually, you did. And that’s the old me, who’da likely found himself wallowing all by himself, spendin’ the rest of the night sittin’ in the dark somewhere, drinkin’.” I smiled and leaned over, giving him a kiss. He smiled back and slipped his arms around me and pulled me down onto his chest, giving me a hug. 

I snuggled into the embrace, curling my arms under his as I returned it, figuring he just needed some warm cuddles right now. 

That was when I suddenly felt his fingers tugging at my back. I frowned. “Are you … Are you trying to get my bra off?”

His fingers immediately stilled. “Um … maybe?” He sheepishly offered.

I gave his shoulder a light slap. “I thought you were really upset, you jerk,” I laughed. 

He snickered. “I told you I was fine! You couldn’t tell?”

“I felt this twinge of regret and got a bit worried about you.”

“Well, yeah, I have regrets, I can’t help that, but I’m fine,” he assured, giving me a sweet nuzzle. I lifted my head to look at him, just to make sure, and he smiled and gave me a wink. “Mad at me? Gonna spank me?”

“Oh, I’m gonna do something to you,” I nodded, trying to hold an unamused expression but felt my chin quivering as I tried my damndest to hold back a smirk. It was when he lowered his head a bit, giving me a ‘I dare ya’ look, that I lost it and started laughing. 

He laughed, too, then grabbed me back up in his arms and pulled me back against his chest, even wrapping his legs around my waist. “Gotchya!”

I turned my head into his neck and started nipping and tickling him with my lips and tongue. He yelped, jumping, then wriggled under me, laughing, his grip in me loosening. I took the opportunity to grab his arms and pin his hands up above his head, lacing my fingers with his. As he stilled, I leaned into him, gently pressing my abdomen down into his groin and my breasts against his chest. He looked up at me, blinking and panting, a bit surprised. “Now who’s got who?” I purred, grinning.

He smiled and curled his fingers down over the backs of my hands. I titled my head down and lightly kissed his lips as I slowly rolled my pelvis down into him again. His body twitched and he made a little gasp. I lifted my head just enough to look at his eyes, to make sure he was okay. I felt curious intrigue from him, mingled with excitement and I grinned. “Like that?” I asked, wiggling the tip of my nose against his. 

He softly chuckled. “Have I, uh, ever told you how much I love that you just seem to know how to handle me?”

“You may have mentioned it once or twice,” I smirked.

“Oh. Just checkin’,” he nodded then pushed back up into me a little. “So … handle me, baby. Handle me all night long.”

My smirk grew into a huge grin and I kissed him again, rolling my hips into him, again and again, feeling him push right back as we kissed and panted into each others mouths, pressing our foreheads together. I nuzzled and kissed up the side of his horn and he groaned, squeezing my hands, eventually letting them go. As I held myself up by the arm of the couch, he reached around to my back and started unclipping my bra. After the first clip, he kept tugging for an unusually long time, then I heard him grumble. “O-okay, I … I can’t get this … how do these work?” He asked. I laughed and sat up, reaching around my own back. He let go and watched as I got the other clip undone and eased it off. Cayde took the bra from me and inspected the simple hook clips, frowning, then stuck his tongue out at them and tossed the bra over the back of the couch. 

I laughed, laying back against his chest and curled my arms around his head, cradling it as I pet him, looking down at him adoringly. “You’re so cute.”

He batted his eyes at me and I snickered, feeling him put his arms back around me, sliding his hands up my now bare back. “Now … where was I?” He asked then kissed the tip of my nose. “Hmm. Nope.” He kissed my cheek. “Not there.” I snorted, staying still, but grinned, holding my bottom lip between my teeth. He kissed my other cheek. “Not there, either.” He made to kiss my lips but paused when he saw I was holding my lip with my teeth and patiently waited for me to let it go. When I caught on, I jumped a little in realization. “Oh. Sorry,” I said, then put my lips together. He gave them a long, slow, savoring kiss, then eased back and looked at me in dreamy contemplation for a few beats before he shook his head. “Nope.” I laughed as he moved to my neck. “Nu-ah,” he mumbled, then moved to the other side. I curled up a little, squeaking at how the kisses tickled. “Damn. Where did I leave off?” He muttered, actually lifting me up, looking me over. 

I screamed a bit, startled, having forgotten just how strong he really was, then laughed as he turned me from side to side, looking me over. “Cayde!” I giggled.

“Yeah, yeah. Hang on. I’ll find it,” he assured, looking me over some more. 

I couldn’t stop laughing!

It turned out where Cayde had ‘left off’ was my chest. 

I completely lost track of time once he’d flipped us, finding myself laying in what had been his spot, Cayde now the one on top and me writhing beneath him. His lips and tongue and hands … Oooh, I’d never realized before just how excited and tingly he could make me giving all the right attention to just my breasts. I found myself nearly breathless, panting his name and arching up into his touches and kisses, hugging his head to my chest. 

Eventually, he slowed what he was doing, then stopped, and looked up at me. I smiled back at him, lightly touching his face with my fingertips, tracing the shapes, ridges, and lines that made up his uniquely handsome features, taking them all in, feeling an oddly powerful swell of emotion. “I love you so much,” I whispered. His eyes slightly shifted from one side to the other as he looked into mine, his expression sweet and endearing. He lifted himself up and crawled up over me, carefully laying on top of me. As I settled my legs over his thighs and around his waist, putting my arms around him, he softly caressed my temples with the backs of his fingers, lightly rubbing his face against mine in a very tender and loving gesture. I sighed as I heard and felt him breathe me in, then kiss my lips. “I love you, too, my Light,” he whispered back.

 

We made love until the early hours of the morning. 

Slow, soft, passionate love. 

It was unlike any other time we’d had together. Why, I didn’t know. I don’t even think there had to be a reason, it simply was and I wanted it to last forever. 

I woke to the sensation of fingers at my left wrist, idly playing with the leather bracelet there. As I got my bearings, I realized I was laying in bed under the covers, my head on Cayde’s shoulder, his arm was wrapped around me. I saw his fingers fidgeting with the bracelet and smiled. “I don’t remember coming upstairs,” I uttered in a sleepy voice before yawning. “I thought we were on the rug by the fireplace?”

“We were,” Cayde whispered back. “I carried you up here after you fell asleep.”

I smiled and kissed his shoulder. He returned the gesture with a kiss to the top of my head. 

“You were absolutely incredible, you know that?” I asked him.

“Yup,” he nodded, sounding playfully smug. I chuckled and lightly slapped his chest. He chuckled right back and gave me a little hug. “So were you,” he said. “The things you do to me, Ais … Never thought I could feel the things you make me feel.”

“Ditto, handsome,” I murmured right back and quickly found myself enveloped in a warm, snuggly hug. “Let’s just stay like this,” I whispered. “Let’s just forget the rest of the world for a while. Can we do that?” He gave me another squeeze, then kissed me and held me close, but didn’t answer. I knew he didn’t because he was going to have to tell me no, even though I knew he didn’t want to. But, with everything that was going on lately, there were things that needed to be done and we couldn’t put them off for too long. Of course that didn’t stop us from taking every last possible moment we could to lay in bed together until duty finally called.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Working our way up to the transition chapter that will lead into ... THE WEDDING! Wanted to have us there sooner, but there were still some things I wanted to address and acknowledge that happened in the game that will allow future chapters to make sense, especially seeing some of the things going on in Shadowkeep. But we're getting there! I'll have more as soon as I can and, once again, thank you all for sticking with me! I'm just really glad so many have come to love and enjoy this story! *HUGS*


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